Weekend amusement thread.

[Akaran_D]

Danny,
There was a little "incident" at your house
today while you were gone. Please allow me
to explain:

I was watching T.V. and I heard this beeping
going off in the kitchen. The first thing I
thought of was the smoke detector going off
so I ran into the kitchen and checked everything
out. By the time I got to the kitchen, the
beeping had stopped and I couldn't smell any smoke.

I went back to watching my movie and I kept
hearing a beep every minute. I knew that the
type of smoke detector that you have is the
type that took a few minutes to reset itself.
I kept watching my movie , and about 10 minutes
later I was really getting pissed off that the
beeping continued. I paused the movie, ran out to
the kitchen, unhooked the detector, and went back
to the movie.

The beeping continued.

Having a college degree in electronics, I knew
that the capacitors could hold a charge after
the batteries were removed. About 20 minutes
later, I was really getting pissed because I
could still hear the beeping. And I got so mad,
I went out and grabbed a pair of wire cutters
and cut the speaker off the smoke detector and
left it sitting on the counter.

I sat back down and heard "beep".

Now I was fuming. I listened to that "beep" about
three more times, then I finally got a hammer and
pounded the ever-loving shit out of your smoke
detector on the counter (while I was pounding I
heard "beep"). It was really getting me mad.

I sat back down and resumed the movie and sure
enough "beep".


I had the wire cutters in my hand and I went out
(curious to see what the hell could still be running
it) and cut all the little parts into pieces, and
put half into a little plastic container and left
half on the counter. I took half the parts over to
the living room thinking if it beeps I know it's
these, and half the parts I left on the counter
knowing it would be them.

In moments I heard the parts in the kitchen beep.
So I took them into the living room and spread them
on the table, staring at them, saying to myself
"the part that beeps will get smashed". Not three
seconds later, the parts I just had, now on the
counter in the kitchen, beeped. I was furious. I
thought to myself, (his smoke detector is possessed).
I brought all the parts into the living room and laid
them out on the coffee table. I was staring at them,
just waiting for one of them to beep so I could smash
the shit out of it.

All of a sudden, I hear "beep", but it was coming
from the kitchen!

I walked out there, all freaked out. I just waited...
and waited... it seemed like hours but was only 30
seconds later, I heard the mystifying "beep" coming
from your jacket. I looked in the jacket and it was
your beeper that you had left at home by accident.
All I could do was take my hammer and beat the ever-
loving shit out of your beeper because I was the
one who paged you.

[Bubba Grizz]

I laughed. Thanks.

[Xouqoa]

Woulda been funnier if the house had burned down or something cause he destroyed the fire alarm.

[Funkmasterr]

Lol xouqoa that is exactly what I was expecting when I started reading it.

[Cotto]

Nothing like the burning smell of human flesh and the prize possessions of someones home in ashes to tickle the funny bone