Catwoman

Dexail · Post by **Dexail** » September 30, 2003, 10:15 am

as much

as I have for Halle, if it doesn't get any better than this, the movie is gonna blow.

Catwoman Movie Update

vn_Tanc · Post by **vn_Tanc** » September 30, 2003, 10:17 am

Christ that's hideous lol

noel · Post by **noel** » September 30, 2003, 3:19 pm

Whoever put that together, and whoever cast her needs to have their fucking head examined.

If anyone has seen the latest storyline from Batman called, 'Hush', THAT is what Catwoman should be like, not the shit above. Fuck. I hate when movies cast HORRIBLE actors and fuck up good characters. HI BEN AFFLECK as Daredevil and HALLE BERRY as Storm (who had an accent in X1 but not in X2). ><

Shanter · Post by **Shanter** » September 30, 2003, 3:39 pm

Jesus Christ thats gonna be a bad movie

noel · Post by **noel** » September 30, 2003, 4:26 pm

The real Catwoman... Far right.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » September 30, 2003, 4:51 pm

I don't get it.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 30, 2003, 4:54 pm

And she complains about her role as Storm?

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » September 30, 2003, 4:56 pm

they are putting cat woman in another batman movie?

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 30, 2003, 4:56 pm

Yeah, and she is black this time!

noel · Post by **noel** » September 30, 2003, 5:12 pm

I believe this is a separate movie, Kyoukan. A 'Catwoman' movie.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 30, 2003, 5:20 pm

Oh, it's a Catwoman movie? That makes more sense, even though she looks retarded in that outfit.

Dexail · Post by **Dexail** » September 30, 2003, 5:52 pm

Yeah, seriously. I mean, what kind of burglar is going to steal stuff and fend off Batman in open toed shoes. Talk about a fashion faux pas.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » September 30, 2003, 6:24 pm

did michelle pfeiffer die? she's 20x more attractive than halle barry.

I guess she is over 35 now though, so in Hollywood I guess she will probably be playing clint eastwood's great grandmother in his next film.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » September 30, 2003, 6:41 pm

michelle pfeiffer is more attractive to halle berrie?

no, never, no.

she may be great as catwoman ( i dont care cause batman sux), but halle berrie is just about as hot as it gets.

Post by **Sylvus** » September 30, 2003, 6:54 pm

Yeah, I'd take Halle in her prime over Michelle P. in her prime any day.

And yes, this argument would be moot if it weren't for the glory that is internet porn. Now, if you'll excuse me...

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » September 30, 2003, 11:38 pm

Voronwë wrote:michelle pfeiffer is more attractive to halle berrie?

no, never, no.

she may be great as catwoman ( i dont care cause batman sux), but halle berrie is just about as hot as it gets.

have you heard her open her mouth?

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » October 1, 2003, 12:13 am

Aranuil wrote:Whoever put that together, and whoever cast her needs to have their fucking head examined.

If anyone has seen the latest storyline from Batman called, 'Hush', THAT is what Catwoman should be like, not the shit above. Fuck. I hate when movies cast HORRIBLE actors and fuck up good characters. HI BEN AFFLECK as Daredevil and HALLE BERRY as Storm (who had an accent in X1 but not in X2). ><

Terrible? Dude, she won an Oscar! It just doesn't get any better than that.

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » October 1, 2003, 12:47 am

kyoukan wrote:
Voronwë wrote:michelle pfeiffer is more attractive to halle berrie?

no, never, no.

she may be great as catwoman ( i dont care cause batman sux), but halle berrie is just about as hot as it gets.
have you heard her open her mouth?

Have you heard you shut yours?

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » October 1, 2003, 12:51 am

http://www.veeshanvault.org/forums/igno ... topic=6029

problem solved, moron.

Taly · Post by **Taly** » October 1, 2003, 2:24 am

just wrong

/sigh

Sartori · Post by **Sartori** » October 1, 2003, 2:36 am

tacky

I think she's extremely nice to look at (except that shitty catwoman suit), but just because she has won an oscar doesn't mean she's good in everything she does...X-men...Swordfish. Haven't seen the Bond flick, but those first two are enough for me to not get too excited over anything just because her name's on it.

I like Michelle too

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » October 1, 2003, 10:00 am

kyoukan wrote:http://www.veeshanvault.org/forums/igno ... topic=6029

problem solved, moron.

Whee, another person that doesn't recognize sarcasm. See the Smiley?

It is winking. In the society of witty people I live in, a

after a comment to someone is a joke. Choose again.

Ennia · Post by **Ennia** » October 1, 2003, 11:56 am

hmm that's not Halle in that picture and it's not a picture from the movie

I'll save any critisism for when I see at least the trailer

btw Halle wasn't bad in James Bond, the whole movie just sucked, maybe it's just me but the gadgets and antics of James Bond seemed more fun when I was like 15.

Shashonna · Post by **Shashonna** » October 1, 2003, 12:38 pm

Sorry but I hate Halle Berry. I still cant believe she got an Oscar, what were they smoking that was a horrible movie (this is my opnion) I cant not think of one movie she has been in that was good. Unless u just ignore her cause I did like the 1st Xmen havent seen 2nd. Id rather see Michelle Phiefer anyday than Halle Berry gag me. Maybe its me but she dosent impress me at all.

Kelshara · Post by **Kelshara** » October 1, 2003, 2:47 pm

shrug I like Halle Berry. She is hot and not a bad actress imho.

Of course, discussing movies/actors is as stupid as discussing music tastes. What one person likes another hates, but that doesn't make it bad.

Kwonryu DragonFist · Post by **Kwonryu DragonFist** » October 1, 2003, 8:18 pm

Haha Good pic Aranuil!

Catwoman sure had teh buttocks there!

If this movie would star Catwoman , i am certain Batman would make an appearance!

Who would be the bad guy though?

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » October 1, 2003, 8:24 pm

This looks like one of those "Insert popular-actress-at-the-time-regardless-of-talent here" type of movies. Halle is pretty attractive...but she really can act no better than Jennifer Lopez...awful, just awful..

Here is a good cantidate for catwoman:

Dixie Dynamite

BAM! ( . )( . )

Seriously, this movie will indeed suck balls, because the idea alone does in fact suck balls.

noel · Post by **noel** » October 1, 2003, 8:30 pm

Kwonryu DragonFist wrote:Haha Good pic Aranuil!

Catwoman sure had teh buttocks there!

If this movie would star Catwoman , i am certain Batman would make an appearance!

Who would be the bad guy though?

Selina Kyle drawn by Jim Lee in any form > *

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » October 1, 2003, 8:31 pm

What else has Jim Lee done? That is good artwork.

noel · Post by **noel** » October 1, 2003, 8:55 pm

Greatest. X-men. Artist. Of. All. Time.

Left Marvel to go help McFarlane start Image comics, where he drew and co-wrote WildC.A.T.s (Covert Action Team) >< Which was in my opinion shit with very good art.

He is apparently now drawing Batman.

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » October 1, 2003, 9:35 pm

Jim Lee was great. Think he was one of the last "smooth and realistic" comic artists before wtf his name was that drew everyone really huge with tiny feet so they all looked the same, heh. Rob Liefeld or something like that comes to mind and I am too lazy to go look it up.

Fallanthas · Post by **Fallanthas** » October 3, 2003, 1:04 pm

I smell a box-office bomb.

Halle sucks ass. Anything beyond doing up a zipper stretches her acting ability.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » October 3, 2003, 3:13 pm

I don't really have a problem with Halle. I won't go see a movie just because she is in it. I thought she did an excellent job in Boomerang.

rhyae · Post by **rhyae** » October 8, 2003, 12:25 pm

Yeah, that pic stinks. I've seen Halle Berry give some good performances, she was good in Queenie, the movie based on Alex Haileys mother's side of the family. Though the movie was depressing as hell.

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » July 23, 2004, 2:14 pm

The reviews are coming in.. And they are NOT good! (surprise!)

After Catwoman, I feel I’ve learned a lot about the furry beasts. For instance, did you know most cats are amazing martial artists? Or have C cups? Or have an innate sense of style that makes them be able to go from the last girl in New York that can’t match her clothes to a magazine model? Or have the self-confidence to let them look and act like they’re auditioning for Showgirls? It’s all true!

Catwoman is the result of four actors without a leg to stand on, three lonely writers with an unhealthy obsession over leather and cats, and one director with a problematic penchant for photogrammetry.

Halle Berry is Patience Phillips, frumpy artist and graphic designer on the campaign for a revolutionary new anti-aging agent. On her first big design for the evil makeup company, the CEO (Lambert Wilson) says he doesn’t like a shade of red and so he gives her a midnight deadline with a new design. Because nobody in the office has ever heard of e-mail or FedEx, Patience has to track down the head of the company in a dark chemical plant on the East River, where she just happens to find out that the miracle cure for aging is physically addictive, gives headaches, makes skin as strong as stone, and transforms your face into a prototype for the next version of Cher if you ever happen to quit taking it. Of course Patience panics, gets found out, and ends up drowned in the East River, only to be given mouth-to-mouth by a 4,000-year-old possessed cat.

Sadly, that’s really the plot, and it actually gets worse from there.

Catwoman is one of those movies that’s so utterly bad you can have fun chuckling about it for days on end. It’s a disturbed mix and match of every superhero movie from the last four years (with a smaller budget). Catwoman has the cheesy camera tricks of Hulk and a shabby CG version of the building hopping of Spider-Man. It has the fetish gear of a Bettie Page photo shoot. It has acting that makes Showgirls look like naked Shakespeare. It’s about as phony as a Presidential photo op.

I could do this all day.

The writers behind this movie all need girlfriends. Badly. They also need to talk to a feminist for a few hours. They play the pop-empowerment angle by trying to play off Patience/Catwoman as a virgin/whore dichotomy. They wax philosophical with the token upbeat fat girl (Alex Borstein) talking about being yourself and having beauty from within, but Berry only becomes sexy after she switches hair, clothes, and makeup. They try to play the “aging is ok” card with Sharon Stone’s appearance as a spurned model, but then turn and play her as a spinster and corporate goon.

The most amazing part of Catwoman is how absolutely fake it feels. Every four seconds there’s a camera trick, every 20 seconds there’s a cat joke, and about every minute or so is a scene stolen from a better movie. The movie has a momentum of a square wheel. In each and every action scene director Pitof (yes, Pitof) simply stops and cuts away to a romance scene, which just stops and turns into a bad T&A scene, and then turns into a dumb period of pseudo-empowerment.

The only real redeeming quality of Catwoman is the cheap summer camp value. In fact, Catwoman is so bad that I actually recommend you see it. It’s the movie you and your friends will rip on all summer long.

Sure, your big-screen solo may have an undeserved nine lives at the box office, but the dizzying dance of edits that seldom last longer than a feline's attention span isn't likely to have critics purring.

First, beware those French directors who came up through music videos and commercials, and who go by one name. In this case, Pitoe, whose style behind the camera personifies attention deficit disorder.

Then there is the crew of writers, whose sordid past projects include "The Net," "The Game" and "The Core."

In the title role and leather suit is Halle Berry, who isn't going to get her claws into another Oscar for this one.

She's paired with Benjamin Bratt, late of television's "Law and Order," but still doing that annoying preening pretty-boy routine (that he showed he could shed so superbly in "Pinero.")

Our cat tale begins with Patience Philips (Berry), a mousy (well, not quite, but it's an irresistible adjective) artist in a dead-end advertising job with a cosmetics company.

When the virtuous Patience discovers the beauty company's ugly secret (its products are deadly), she's creamed out on the orders of the co-owner, Laurel Hedard (Sharon Stone), whose husband, George (Lambert Wilson), has dumped her as spokesmodel and is dallying with the newest face of the firm.

But a little cat conjuring brings Patience back from the dead and imbues her with feline characteristics: She refuses to listen or obey, sleeps endlessly and licks ... sorry, that would've been more interesting.

Instead, our Catwoman can leap and claw and hiss. How dynamic!

Det. Tom Lone (Bratt), an obvious lone wolf, first saves Patience from a hard fall, then begins tracking Catwoman. Even though he's scratched and bussed by the feline felon, the charismatic cop doesn't suspect the two women in his life are one.

Conflicted Catwoman fends off burglars, steals their jewelry booty herself, then, as Patience, anonymously sends it back to the police (though with a handwritten apology that still takes the police forever to link to the prudent Patience). Could it be cat-scratch fever?

In her leather loungewear, Berry's Catwoman isn't sexy, she's Puss in Boots re-imagined as a fetish queen. That wasn't meant to be a compliment. The sensuality of the film - hardly a romantic depiction of passion - is surprising considering its PG-13 rating.

This catch-as-cat-can saga culminates in, what else, a colossal catfight.

At least it's something so amusing as to balance out the grueling violence that has preceded it. Unfortunately, for those at least hoping for a campy "Catwoman," this movie isn't even unintentionally funny enough to make it worth seeing.

After "Catwoman," even Tuna Helper begins to seem appetizing.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » July 23, 2004, 2:31 pm

You can't say bomb on an airplane!

Halle has had one or two decent roles. I don't care for her and accepting the role of Catwoman after criticizing her role as Storm in the XMen as being the only roles african american women can get shows her greed for cha ching over desire to do quality work.

Verdict: Shoo!

Shanter · Post by **Shanter** » July 23, 2004, 4:09 pm

So who saw it? Out with it!

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » July 23, 2004, 6:43 pm

So is this movie going to be better or worse than Tomb Raider?

Swordfish! Loved her tits.

Hesten · Post by **Hesten** » July 24, 2004, 10:02 am

Normally i like Halle Berry (hey, was VERY positively impressed by Gothika), but agreed, shes not Oscar material.
And this movie is bound to flop.

I mean, we got a white sm specialist prostitute with a liking for cats, who happen to see Batman and get inspired (according to Millers Batman Year One), and start doing kind of a line between good/bad (stopping bad guys, helping batman once in a while, but also stealing and going againts batman)

HOW in the hell did they manage to translate that into the plot in that pos movie is beyond me. Changing it like that will even loose the comic book fans, and everyone else should stay away. NOT gonna see it here.

Truant · Post by **Truant** » July 24, 2004, 10:10 am

It looks like a steaming pile of shit to me.

To be frank.

Farrel · Post by **Farrel** » July 24, 2004, 12:23 pm

Hesten wrote: I mean, we got a white sm specialist prostitute with a liking for cats, who happen to see Batman and get inspired (according to Millers Batman Year One), and start doing kind of a line between good/bad (stopping bad guys, helping batman once in a while, but also stealing and going againts batman)

HOW in the hell did they manage to translate that into the plot in that pos movie is beyond me. Changing it like that will even loose the comic book fans, and everyone else should stay away. NOT gonna see it here.

Im not too big on comic book characters, especially not DC, so try not to rip me a new one if Im totally off here. But I think there are supposed to be 12 different versions/generations of "Catwoman," and someone decided it would be a good idea to just re-create one that wasnt Selina.
The movie still looks like ass though.

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » July 26, 2004, 2:16 pm

All the critics are saying it sucks.. So according to some here it must be good!

Catwoman Film Flops in US

By Mark Sage, PA News, in New York

Halle Berry’s Catwoman was de-clawed over the weekend, proving a flop in the face of the Matt Damon spy thriller, the Bourne Supremacy.

Catwoman took a disappointing £9.4 million at the US box office, compared to the £29 million raked in by the Bourne sequel.

Catwoman and its star Berry were mauled by the critics ahead of its opening, with the New York Times calling it a “howlingly silly, moderately diverting exercise in high, pointless style”.

In the latest review, Variety magazine said the film “plummets to the dimmest recesses of popcorn inanity”.

It is “barely held together by a script that should have been tossed out with the kitty litter”.

But the magazine raved about the Bourne Supremacy, starring Damon as an amnesiac assassin on the run from his former CIA handlers.

“Could Bourne be the new Bond?” asked Variety, after the film had a bigger opening than any of the 007 movies.

The previous instalment, the Bourne Identity took £14.7 million in its opening weekend.

The Bourne Supremacy is the sixth largest opener of the year in the United States, following Shrek 2, Spider-Man 2, The Passion of the Christ, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and The Day After Tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Spider-Man 2 collected another £8.2 million over the weekend.

And Michael Moore’s George Bush-bashing documentary, Fahrenheit 9/11, crossed the 100 million dollars (£54.4 million) mark.

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » July 27, 2004, 12:51 am

I downloaded it to see how bad it really was... My advice: Don't even download it. You'll never get those 104 minutes of your life back!

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » November 24, 2005, 9:06 pm

Holy christ this movie is bad. It happened to be on HBO.

Managed to watch 30 minutes of it before I just couldn't take it anymore.

Kwonryu DragonFist · November 24, 2005, 11:13 pm

Ennia wrote:hmm that's not Halle in that picture and it's not a picture from the movie

What movie is the pic from then?

Sionistic · Post by **Sionistic** » November 25, 2005, 12:12 am

girl made me watch it. The final fight scene was excruciating to watch. It looks like they did 300 cuts to make that scene. By the end of the fight, the girl was like "cool" and i was like "severe seizure"

Kwonryu DragonFist · November 25, 2005, 12:01 pm

Sionistic wrote:girl made me watch it. The final fight scene was excruciating to watch. It looks like they did 300 cuts to make that scene. By the end of the fight, the girl was like "cool" and i was like "severe seizure"

Who did she fight in the end?

Sionistic · Post by **Sionistic** » November 25, 2005, 4:39 pm

fuck me if i remember the name

[Show]: the chick sharon stone plays

Animalor · Post by **Animalor** » November 25, 2005, 4:51 pm

I don't think you really needed to put in a spoiler tag on a thread for what is probably the worst movie of the last decade.

I saw a part of this on TV the other day. Words cannot describe how shitty this was.

Kwonryu DragonFist · November 25, 2005, 5:01 pm

Sionistic wrote:fuck me if i remember the name
[Show]
the chick sharon stone plays

No superhero name?