Most Embarrassing Personal Story: 25,000 VVs up for grabs.

Dexail · Post by **Dexail** » September 19, 2003, 1:28 pm

sorry Ducru but I couldn't pass up an opportunity like that

Sylvos · Post by **Sylvos** » September 20, 2003, 5:29 am

Was my freshman year of college and we had community bathrooms and showers at the end of the hall. I had woken up late for class (imagine that) and so i threw a towel around myself grabbed my keys,flipflops and shampoo and scurried down to the showers. After my shower I start walking down the hall and I see that the opposite end of the hallway's door opens and a tour group of high school students and parents are touring the dorms. I realize oh shit and start walking faster to my dorm room which is halfway between us.
My friend Logan opens the door and looks at me and then down the hallway and says "Hey Johnny" then smiles and rips my towel off and slams the door.
I'm suddenly butt ass naked in the middle of the hallway in front of the tour group.
Mustering what dignity I had left I positioned my shampoo bottle appropriately and did my best to stroll at an extremely fast pace to the door and unlock it and enter while the tour group is laughing and what not.
Logan didn't come out of his dorm room for 2 days for fear of his life.

That is one of many unfortunate stories, not as good as the girl getting drunk and vomiting in my mouth when she is kissing me good night but that my friends...is another tale for another time.

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » September 20, 2003, 5:51 am

A time which we all pray never comes.

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 20, 2003, 8:33 am

Since Sylvos brought up vomiting, I'll tell a little story of my own.

When I was in highschool, I had a friend called Nick. He was a good-looking guy, had great hair, and rumor had it that his penis was considerably larger than average. So of course, with the grand sense of humor of teenagers, he was always referred to as 'Nick the Dick'.

Nick played in a band with me and some other guys. We weren't all that good, but thanks to Nick, our singer and our drummers good looks, we did have a decent following of teenage girls who tried to make most of our gigs. None of them were really groupies, they just hung out with us, listened to the music and partied.

Except one girl. Katja. Now, Katja wasn't the smartest girl in the world, nor was she the best looking. But she Really Really liked the band, and Nick in particular. We weren't particularly nice to her - most of the guys in the band thought she was a pain in the ass - and once, we even't went so far as to tell her we were playing somewhere else than we were, just to get rid of her. She showed up anyway, and never commented.

So this one night, we were playing at a dorm party. There was supposed to have been two bands playing, but the second band cancelled, and 'could we possibly see our way to play a third and fourth set?'. We'd be compensated for our time of course, and they even threw in free booze. We accepted, and it was probably the worst gig I ever played - everyone in the band was so drunk they could hardly remember which instrument they played. Katja was there as well, and Nick had been pouring booze on her from the second we got there.

Fast forward to the little break between sets 3 and 4:
Nick was gone. Noone knew where. Me and the other guys went looking for him, we checked the bathrooms, checked outside, no luck. Just before we were going back out to play the 4th set (without Nick!) we heard a weird sound from underneath the stage - sort of a vomiting sound. This was followed by a 'what the fuck you crazy bitch?!' and out crawled Nick, dick sticking out from his zipper and puke all over his pants. He didn't expect to see all of the band standing there, applauding his performance.

Apparently, Katja overestimated her ability to deep-throat, or underestimated the size of Nick's dangly bits.

The band broke up not long after. I never saw Katja again.

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » September 20, 2003, 11:13 am

First I'd like to say, I have enjoyed these immensely, and so glad Ducru won, I heard that story a few years ago in KC late one night, and have harassed him ever since... to quote Yiiri "dude, you fucked your couch"

On to mine, while not publically embarassing, pretty funny. My ex-wife and I were having sex (yes before we we married of course) doggy style, and going at it pretty damn hot and heavy. As timing is everything we both approach that moment of pleasure togather... and I fall forward as I release. In the same moment she releases and snaps her head back in pleasure. Back of head.... meet nose....nose... meet back of head. Next thing I know I am lying on my back bleeding like a stuck pig from my nose and she is flipping out. I was apparently unconscious for about 2 mins. Was one of her favorite stories.

Vannoth · Post by **Vannoth** » September 20, 2003, 1:05 pm

Hahahahahaha....

Valk and Duc your stories made me laugh so hard I shot Pepsi out my nose.

I'm going to share this thread with all of the SOE folks.

Maybe we can get you guys titles or something.

-V

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 20, 2003, 1:09 pm

Vannoth, if you can get Ducru a name change to 'Ducru Molester of Couches', then yes, I will have your baby.

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » September 21, 2003, 2:41 am

*whistles*

Valkeria · Post by **Valkeria** » September 21, 2003, 8:59 am

Thanks

Everyone in my guild is now calling me carpet sigh me and my big mouth hehe

Shashonna · Post by **Shashonna** » September 21, 2003, 12:46 pm

But We Love you Valk

Vaemas · Post by **Vaemas** » September 21, 2003, 4:45 pm

Valkeria wrote:Thanks Everyone in my guild is now calling me carpet sigh me and my big mouth hehe

Poor Valk...

While I'm thinking about it, I'm looking for a new topic for another "experience" VV give-away contest. PM or reply and I'll see about putting together a new thread in a day or so.

Deneve · Post by **Deneve** » September 21, 2003, 6:16 pm

out a VV prize on the scariest moment thread

Alusus · Post by **Alusus** » September 24, 2003, 11:37 pm

about a year ago i had just gotten done with a football game and was hanging out with some friends just talking and shit and then this homosexual guy came up go me and kissed me right in front of everyone, dont worry it wasnt tounge or anything but he got me right in the lips and i was so fricken stunned i almost puked all my friends couldnt beleive what just happened and after about 2 min. sitting in shock my g/f pulled up in her car and this homosexual kid is standing about 20 feet away making kissing motions and call me motions at me when my g/f and all my friends are there the most embarrassing moment in my life

Deneve · Post by **Deneve** » September 25, 2003, 12:34 am

kill teh asspirate

erm, kiddin guys

Morgrym · Post by **Morgrym** » January 4, 2005, 4:48 pm

Since we are bumping classic posts, this one by far is the clear cut winner

Ducru wrote:
Skogen wrote:I'm still waiting for a "This one time when I was in the middle of jerking off, and........." story to be posted. Come on...you know you're out there.
Happy to oblige

At the tender age of 15 years, and only a few days after having sex for the first time I was, needless to say, a bit uncomfortable with how I had performed. I figured 18 seconds of wonderful love, may not net me much more from my seasoned professional (16 year old) of a girlfriend.

The dilemna I was left with was finding the perfect practice strategy to get the act down like a scene from a 10 year running Broadway play. Shower-jackin didn't cut it, it only left me with glue on the hands once water hit it. Magazines didn't take it very far because of all the fumbling around when you get tired of a certain picture (thank God for point and click prOn these days). Finally I decided that I needed to recreate the ordeal as perfectly as possible. Not sitting in a chair, not standing in the shower, but lying down and making love like a veteran.

My solution? I fell in Love... With my couch. She was a nice floral number. Dark brown with slightly raised paisley background. Velure was the material of choice in the 80's and fit the plan too well.

For weeks I'd save myself while in the shower, dry off, dust on the baby powder and meet my 92inch mistress behind closed doors, while my mother and stepfather watched the Cosby Show and other favorite shows of the time. I figured there's NO way they are going to leave the TV when Theo is about to get into another hilarious mess.

Cutting to the chase...

So there I am full on into a marathon couch-humping session, with ass flying around as I gave that beautiful couch the fuck of it's life. I couldn't WAIT to show off my truly l33t skeelz to my girlfriend that weekend while her parents were gone.

As I'm reaching the apex of my olympic-style one-man couch-hump-a-athon, I hear my stepfather clear his throut, and there he is standing in the doorway with his back to me.

"<AHEM> Dinner's ready, we're eating early. Your mom doesn't feel good."

Dinner that night was a little different. 2 weeks later I had new furniture in the game room.

Somewhere someone is likely to still be sitting on my first true love, only a little less fortunate than me for not knowing her true potential.

Ducru

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » January 4, 2005, 5:43 pm

I just laughed like I've never read that before.

Short, sweet, staying power

Linaminu · Post by **Linaminu** » January 4, 2005, 10:19 pm

too damn funny

VeeshanVault

Most Embarrassing Personal Story: 25,000 VVs up for grabs.

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