Tardy co-workers, die plz

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 12, 2003, 4:57 pm

It's friday fucking night, and I - as the nice guy I am - agree to cover for my boss for 2 hours since his girlfriend is in town from Paris, and they only have two days together before she goes back for work. Co-worker01 (or 'SupremeAsshat')'s shift will start at 7:30PM, leaving me to a night free for debauchery and such.

8PM, still no co-worker. No answer on his phone.

8:30 PM. No co-worker. Still no answer.

9PM Co-worker answers phone in sleepy voice, claiming to be on his way out the door. He lives around 15 minutes - on foot - from our workplace.

9:55PM Now. Still no co-worker. Cellphone turned off.

My question to you:

Will any jury convict me if I kill this guy dead the second he walks through the door?

Ashur · Post by **Ashur** » September 12, 2003, 5:03 pm

Today your coworker did nothing, and it was everything he thought it would be.

noel · Post by **noel** » September 12, 2003, 5:04 pm

Sounds like he's... Truant!

Pilsburry · Post by **Pilsburry** » September 12, 2003, 5:05 pm

Some people just have no work ethic.

I mean when I worked in my office...I'd be late fairly often. But we're talking like 5 minutes late.....

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » September 12, 2003, 5:08 pm

What gets me is the smokers that get 20 breaks a day just because the area manager happens to be a smoker too. I remember in the Navy I would take Non Smoke breaks to piss off my first class who was a smoker. You smokers can die.

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 12, 2003, 5:13 pm

update: 2 hours 40 minutes late. Claims to be waiting on a train. I'm doing it.

Strangulation, I think, with a mousecord. Or maybe I'll drown him in the coffeemaker.

More details to follow, if they give me internet access in jail.

Lynks · Post by **Lynks** » September 12, 2003, 5:14 pm

Krimson Klaw wrote:What gets me is the smokers that get 20 breaks a day just because the area manager happens to be a smoker too. I remember in the Navy I would take Non Smoke breaks to piss off my first class who was a smoker. You smokers can die.

Tell me about it, and when they don't get a smoke break, its a bitch fest.

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » September 12, 2003, 5:14 pm

Dude just key his car on your way out like a normal person.

-edit-nm forgot hes waiting on a train, damn.

Skogen · Post by **Skogen** » September 12, 2003, 5:16 pm

Drolgin Steingrinder wrote:update: 2 hours 40 minutes late. Claims to be waiting on a train. I'm doing it.

Strangulation, I think, with a mousecord. Or maybe I'll drown him in the coffeemaker.

More details to follow, if they give me internet access in jail.

As soon as he walks in, just pull down your pants, and start peeing on him.

Sionistic · Post by **Sionistic** » September 12, 2003, 5:16 pm

keying the car sounds good, on the passenger side

Post by **Sylvus** » September 12, 2003, 5:19 pm

Lynks wrote:
Krimson Klaw wrote:What gets me is the smokers that get 20 breaks a day just because the area manager happens to be a smoker too. I remember in the Navy I would take Non Smoke breaks to piss off my first class who was a smoker. You smokers can die.
Tell me about it, and when they don't get a smoke break, its a bitch fest.

I hate you whiny fucking nonsmokers. The lot of you! Perhaps you all wouldn't be so uptight if you'd just unwind with a nice, delicious cigarette. The nicotine really helps you loosen up!

Sorry for the derail, Drolgin. If you don't get internet access in prison, I'll be your pen pal!

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » September 12, 2003, 5:38 pm

ORDELL: AK-47 - When you absolutely, positively, gotta kill every
motherfucker in the room, accept no substitute. That there is the
Chinese one. I pay eight-fifty and double my money.

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 12, 2003, 5:47 pm

I feel like Dante fucking Hicks.

3 hours, 15 minutes and counting btw.

I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY.

Oh, and he's now not answering his cellphone again.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » September 12, 2003, 5:51 pm

Drolgin Steingrinder wrote: agree to cover for my boss for 2 hours since his girlfriend is in town from Paris, and they only have two days together before she goes back for work.

Demand a turn with his girlfriend as payment for your pain and suffering!

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 12, 2003, 5:55 pm

Somehow I don't think *my* girlfriend would approve, but thanks for the suggestion!

Revs · Post by **Revs** » September 12, 2003, 6:21 pm

I take it Drolgin never saw the BangBangBang video

Just kidnap her for a few hours as payback...

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 12, 2003, 6:22 pm

I usually don't complain about not getting breaks at work. But laugh endlessly --in their face-- to the smokers who whine on and on about not getting a break often enough. The best part is they just took away smoke breaks!

By the way Drolgin, just fire the motherfucker. Or get the boss to.

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 12, 2003, 6:22 pm

3 hours, 50 minutes.

Still counting.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKITYFUCKFUCKFUCK!

AND FUCK!

Truant · Post by **Truant** » September 12, 2003, 6:43 pm

Aranuil wrote:Sounds like he's... Truant!

wait...me? or the definitive form of the word?

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 12, 2003, 6:47 pm

And almost exactly on the 4 hour mark, he waltzes through the door as if nothing has happened.

Don't think I've ever been that close to punching someone in the teef.

Told the little limpdick that since he fucked up my friday evening, he could get the pleasure of taking my shift tomorrow morning, and fuck any need he might have for sleep.

Asshat.

So, anyone for an LDON adventure?

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » September 12, 2003, 6:49 pm

Drolgin Steingrinder wrote:
So, anyone for an LDON adventure?

You're too late. Groups are all full. Should have been here 4 hours ago!

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » September 12, 2003, 6:59 pm

AN ADVENTURE?!

emmer · Post by **emmer** » September 12, 2003, 7:11 pm

I WANT TO CAST MAGIC MISSILE!!

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEE

Kudo · Post by **Kudo** » September 12, 2003, 7:33 pm

Why are you casting magic missle, theres nothing to attack here.

Kguku · Post by **Kguku** » September 12, 2003, 7:56 pm

I'm attacking the dark! hehehehhee

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » September 12, 2003, 8:10 pm

See what happens when you live in Sweden. If you were in the US like a normal person it would only be 6pm now!

I hate you whiny fucking nonsmokers. The lot of you! Perhaps you all wouldn't be so uptight if you'd just unwind with a nice, delicious cigarette. The nicotine really helps you loosen up!

The smokers who take advantage of it are the true scum of the earth. Most duck out for a few minutes do their thing and come back. Although now they stink and anyone they walk past will know where they were anyway. But I digress... I've known some smokers who would be out there 10-20 minutes at a time, 3-4 times a day (at least), while the rest of us were covering their slack.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » September 12, 2003, 8:36 pm

Let's put it this way

-Smokers ARE going to die and on average 19 years before nonsmokers
-I have not had a smoke in 60 days
-Taking 20 smoke breaks a day i still got more done than any 50 non smokers
-The coworker of this thread origin needs to be smacked in the fucking head, I would set that SOB up until he was unemployeed, then laugh when his children starved and his wife left him.
-Rabid Antismokers are just as bad of cocsuckers as rabid smokers

Pilsburry · Post by **Pilsburry** » September 12, 2003, 10:08 pm

I wouldn't let him cover your shift int he morning, because he won't show up and it will be YOUR ass.

I'd just tell him that he should have came in when you called, then tomarrow morning tell your boss, and tell him you don't feel it's necessary to cover that guys slack anymore. And that you would feel more comfortable if someone more reliable was put in his position.

Especially if your salary...because you didn't even get paid.

Lynks · Post by **Lynks** » September 12, 2003, 10:39 pm

If I told that to my boss, he'd laugh at me and tell me to get out.

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 12, 2003, 11:04 pm

Oh, thankfully, my boss already OK'ed it. And I plan on having my phone disconnected until sometime in the afternoon, so fuck him if he doesn't show up.

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » September 13, 2003, 8:12 am

Lynks wrote:If I told that to my boss, he'd laugh at me and tell me to get out.

You pansies seriously have to do some car keying, it's the only leverage us subordinates have in the land of managers....well, that and dressing in all black with a mask and beating the hell out of them in the parking lot, but that's only for the worst offenses

Xyun · Post by **Xyun** » September 13, 2003, 8:26 am

I'm a chain smoker and take full advantage of smoke breaks. I take about 7 breaks a shift, and my managers don't say shit to me because they know that I can cover my own shit, and other people's slack, and still have time to get a quick cigarette. When I take a smoke break at work, I rape the hell out of a cigarette, not like the one I'm nurturing right now.

I only started smoking 2 years ago, but I'm up to almost 2 packs a day now. Non-smokers usually don't bother me, but there are some that are so anal about the subject that it gets under my skin. I run into a lot of these types when I go play poker. When they start complaining, I start smoking more.

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » September 13, 2003, 10:40 am

Poker is the win, did you watch the poker championships on tv? Guy named Moneymaker (good name) won a seat at the championships by winning an online tourny on a poker website, ended up winning the whole thing. Cool because he is from Tennessee, represent! They had some unique characters in that tourny, was fun to watch.

Sorry derail, but I love poker.

Xyun · Post by **Xyun** » September 13, 2003, 11:05 am

I play a lot of poker. I play about 4 times a week a different ring games in my city, as well as 1 big tourney a month. I also play a ton online. I know about moneymaker and he's a good player, but I don't think he's the best.

I've been playing regularly since i was 19 and am hoping to get into the top tier of poker players within the next 5-10 years. Working on my game very hard to get there.

It's my passion.

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » September 13, 2003, 11:41 am

I only started smoking 2 years ago, but I'm up to almost 2 packs a day now.

It's good to have goals!

Kelshara · Post by **Kelshara** » September 13, 2003, 12:39 pm

I only started smoking 2 years ago, but I'm up to almost 2 packs a day now.

I wont be in your funeral.. nor will anyone else probably.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 13, 2003, 12:46 pm

Everytime a boss catches me standing around or not doing shit, I just tell him I am on my smoke break.

His name was Chris Moneymaker and fucking won with a pair of 3's on a bluff. One hand later he finished the guy off with a full house.

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » September 13, 2003, 12:58 pm

I liked Amir Vahedi simply because he trash talked at the table. He got other players so flustered that it was funny. He would bluff, and piss the other guy off by showing the audience his cards, was so cool this guy. He rocks, but came in a disapointing 6th place.

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 13, 2003, 4:12 pm

I can't believe I'm writing this.

It's saturday now, and asshat_coworker_01 (you remember him, he's the guy that takes 4 hours to go the distance of a 15 minute walk) took the first half of my shift today. At 8PM, my relief - asshat_coworker_02 - was supposed to come in.

It's now 9:15PM. He doesn't answer his phone.

Should I just lock up and leave?

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » September 13, 2003, 4:19 pm

Fool me once, um, um, Shame on you. Fool me twice, um um, tha the fool not gon' get fooled again.

Keverian FireCry · Post by **Keverian FireCry** » September 13, 2003, 4:24 pm

Your boss needs to get the whip crackin on those two!

emmer · Post by **emmer** » September 13, 2003, 4:48 pm

Krimson Klaw wrote:Fool me once, um, um, Shame on you. Fool me twice, um um, tha the fool not gon' get fooled again.

Best.
Bush Quote.
Ever.

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » September 13, 2003, 11:59 pm

uh fuck yes you should lock up and leave. tell your boss that you're not going to keep covering entire fucking shifts for these douchebags while they're out bogsexing or whatever and your going to start leaving when your supposed to.

Tegellan · Post by **Tegellan** » September 14, 2003, 8:38 pm

I agree with Stragi here, that is way beyond reasonable. Call your boss and tell him to get the whip cracking.

VeeshanVault

Tardy co-workers, die plz

Tardy co-workers, die plz

Re: Tardy co-workers, die plz

Chapter 2