Child Abuse or Passionate Coach?

[Tyek]

Alright let me start by apologizing for the length of this post, but I was curious about your thoughts on the matter. Personally I feel like I witnessed a bad case of child abuse.

Last night I saw a coach do something I could not believe. I still can't believe it 24 hours later.

I decided to let my daughter join my friends softball team after her season had ended. She is a good, borderline all star player in the big league we play in. My friends league however is small and frankly stupid. They have 5 teams. 2 have been together for 4 years (this is rec, not club or travel ball.) So my friend, being his first year in this league was given a team with no pitching or catching. They started out 1-13. The team they played last night had previously beaten his team 34-4 and 24-2 (why no mercy rule?) and he was losing by 12-15 runs a game.

The lady coaching the team last night does not like my friend because he questioned some of the things I just mentioned. Since my daughter has joined his team, they have gone 2-4 and lost 3 of those games by less then 5 runs. Including a 10-6 loss to the lady coaches team. Two weeks later she is telling our girls how they suck and they are going to destroy the girls by 20+ runs in next weeks game, and she is just sitting watching a game. She did this for no reason.

One week later, my daughter is on the mound, it is close to the end of the game and we are winning 13-11. Her daughter lines a shot to short. Our player makes a great play and the girls are one out and about 10 minutes from pulling the upset of the year. The coach calls time, follows the player and grabs her in the dugout. I watch as she drags her up a grass hill then jumps at her like she is about to punch her. The player flinches of course and the coach grabs her helmet starts twisting the girl around and rips it off her head. The girl falls to the ground. I am yelling at the ump to look at what is happening and all the parents from our team start yelling for her to stop.

The coach stops, then walks to the dugout and starts threatening our coach and parents for getting in her business. "I pay for her food, not you." "Fuck you stupid asshole, mind your business." This is in front of 12 year olds. The ump walks over talks to her and starts the game again. My daughter gets the next batter to pop up to her and we have 4 minute until we win.

About this time an old lady in a walker starts cruising down this steep hill, almost falling. I am thinking, "FINALLY someone is coming to protect this girl"...Nope.

I hear "You stupid motherfuckers need to stay out our business." "I outta beat your ass you motherfucker."

Now I am privately hoping she falls and I tell my wife, "I think they thought Precious was a training film."

The next inning starts, but time is almost up. The coach walks to the third base coaches box and their coach immediately starts the threats again.

Our coach tells the blue. "Get this under control or I am leaving the field with my girls." The blue warns her.

1 pitch later she says to her girls, "show them how we do this up here. make it hurt" then launches another verbal assault at our coach.

The coach says to the blue, "thats it, I am out of here. If you cannot protect these girls, and I have to watch my back while coaching then I am gone." He turned to the other team and apologized saying, "Girls I am sorry for this, you are a great team and I applaud your effort I hope the girl who got thrown is ok, but I will not stand for this." and walked his team off the field.

The other coach starts celebrating like she won the world series, screaming how they won, blah blah blah.

A board member is there watching, the ump asks her why she did not interfer on the hill and she says "I did not see it, so officially it never happened." and then we find out her daughter is on that team.

Being the troublemaker I am, I of course filed an incident report. I also talked with 3 of the board members explaining that I had seen 2 cases of abuse in 2 weeks in their league. My wife points out that just because it was a woman did not make it ok, it was still abuse. While this is happening, Lady in walker is screaming "Motherfucker, this. motherfucker that".

The directors tell me the coach is the all star coach and she is very competitive. I tell them bullshit, she is a terrible coach. She panics when losing, abuses kids, runs up scores and she has almost all the all star team and can't beat a team they destroyed 34-4 once. I pointed out, the better coach was the one who just walked off the field and had beaten her with 1/4 of the talent.

So nothing has happened so far. The league called my friend that night, but so far nothing. They say she is competitive. I saw abuse. She talked crap, could not back it up and took it out on a 12 year old.

[Kilmoll the Sexy]

First option, you call the police and file it. Get it on video and let them prosecute her.

Second option, when she makes a threat be close enough that she can follow up on it then let her choke on her own teeth when you have to defend yourself. She is a bully that has everyone scared of her and the only way to stop a bully is to stand up to them. Generally they are windbag pussies who expect everyone to lay down for them when they say to.

[Boogahz]

contact police and/or child protective services

[Zaelath]

I don't see what the league has to do with this, and why you wouldn't immediately take names from anyone in the crowd that would support your complaint to CPS... IFF you think the kid is in danger; swearing doesn't count, dragging a kid by the arm may not, text may not convey the incident well though...

[Tyek]

Zaeleth,

Have you ever seen when a person gets in anothers face then moves at them like they are going to punch them? She made that move at the girl. When the girl flinched she grabbed her helmet mask and violently pulled it left and right until the helmet came off as the girl fell to the ground. It was wickedly violent and uncalled for. I did file an incident report, we have several parents signing it.

As for what it has to do with the league. This is the second incident in 2 weeks. The guy who did it last week is running for league president. Why anyone would want an abusive coach is beyond me. I would have yanked my daughter from that team the instant I saw that. Also why would the league let this lady represent them in All Stars? Between her violent behavior, horrific dirty language, and frankly her appalling lack of coaching ability she is an embarrassment that just confirms the reputation this league has developed. My daughter will be back in her regular league next season and we will not be helping anyone in this league.

[Zaelath]

Sorry, yeah. As a secondary place to complain to I can see that...

I thought you meant the only action you were thinking of taking was with the league ><

That shit with the helmet does sound dangerous.

Trying to get a cop to do anything about assault though (from the strict "I thought they were going to commit violence to me" meaning) is fucking impossible. I think most of them are deadshits and confuse it with battery.

[Mak]

Set up a video camera on a tripod- make it obvious. Record the whole game in such a way to cover the problems areas. Any inappropriate behavior can be recorded and turned in to the police and/or local news media. Your local news stations eat that shit up. Your police and DA's tend to get more interested in investigating when reporters are calling asking about it.

[Siji]

Report it to CPS, they're required to follow-up and investigate. At the very least the woman may try cussing out and threatening CPS for 'getting in her business' which of course will be met with a 'Oh no you just didnt' response from CPS.

[Bubba Grizz]

I agree with Mak. Tape it or actually invite a reporter to come watch. Let it make the news. Put it on Youtube as well.