Would you date somebody that your friends hated?

Fash · Post by **Fash** » March 9, 2007, 7:49 pm

I'd say that's slipping to 30 these days...
I'm almost 28 and I still have no idea what I want from life, lol.
I love my friends, they really are the best... I don't think I could date someone they hated, as we're pretty close-knit and hang out all the time.

redeemed · Post by **redeemed** » March 12, 2007, 5:39 am

Winnow wrote:Generally speaking, the younger you are, the more you still need to figure out about what you value most in life personally and from a partner. You may have a very clear picture of what you want, but it still takes a few years of actually experiencing things first hand to see if the vision matches reality.

um, winnow, that was actually cool and insightful and I wanted to say thanks ;p
I don't know what I'm really doing in my "relationship" right now and I think I need to step back from it soon..
oh and whoever said "flaws are beautiful" somewhere up there kudos 2u2 sir.. we womenfolk need to hear that more often I think ~

Neziroth · Post by **Neziroth** » March 12, 2007, 5:19 pm

It all depends on how big of a flaw we're talking about here...

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » March 12, 2007, 8:46 pm

Lalanae wrote:
Also, some(all) women will just not "like a guy" because he isn't rich enough or cute enough....

fixed lol

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » March 12, 2007, 8:59 pm

Leonaerd wrote:makes me a bigot nor proves how you are any better than I.

I am HAPPY. Prove why a lifetime of happiness in the face of adversity (read: you) is a bad thing. If you want me to be unhappy, simply say so and It'll confirm my belief that you take out real life frustrations on VV.

This is one of my few serious posts, you will hate your life within 4 years. When that time comes I will save you a seat at the bar.

Sueven · Post by **Sueven** » March 13, 2007, 5:44 am

Boogahz wrote:You not being able to accept that my opinion is not the same as yours neither makes me a bigot nor proves how you are any better than I.

I think what he's saying might have something to do with:

leonaerd wrote:faggot

And I'm with him on that one.

I don't want to jump in on the rest of this, or the validity of your opinions about sex, but:

leonaerd wrote:Prove why a lifetime of happiness in the face of adversity

I would actually be really interested to hear about your lifetime of adversity.

Xyun · Post by **Xyun** » March 13, 2007, 6:10 am

My friends and my women don't ever really mesh well. My friends are smart and I date bimbos.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » March 13, 2007, 2:58 pm

Is it really dating then, or just prelude to and denoument from boning them?

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » March 13, 2007, 3:27 pm

"Dating" lol, that reminds me. . . Just yesterday I was setting up a Fallen Sword account for Eric's 9 year old son. He wanted to name his character "Cyber." I told him he probably should pick another name and of course I had to explain why "cyber" can have a negative meaning. So I told him it means when people "date" online, lol

So, yeah "dating" can mean many things...

noel · Post by **noel** » March 14, 2007, 12:56 am

I fully agree with Winnow's last post. At 20, in all but very rare circumstances you have all the ambition and energy you need, but no experience with which to temper it. That's not to say it's bad or wrong, because all of us have gone through it, but realize that when someone older cracks you it's not necessarily because they're just being mean. Experience is a wonderful teacher just maybe not as fast as we'd like.

On the topic at hand...

The thing about a relationship is, and Kev's post really got me thinking about this, people on the outside for better or worse, generally don't know how things are between two people. Those two people might get along fine, but maybe one of them is an introvert or not as good socially. People/your friends might be quick to judge or form an opinion, but have no idea how things are between you and the person you're with in private when it's just the two of you. It's difficult because like many people here have said, your friends are generally there a lot longer than your love interests... until you find the right woman/man.

All that said, love... especially new love is truly blind, and sometimes your friends can see things you can't. I have yet to see a case where good friends were able to help someone when they 'thought they were in love', but I suppose it happens. You have to be careful with that though because if you always listen to what your friends think you might wake up one day with a lot of regret.

Kind of a more informal tangent thing... If the girl who's your good friend is the same girl that you were asking about a Christmas (I think that's how I remember it) present, I'd be willing to bet that her opinion of other women has just a tinge of jealousy (whether she knows it or not) where you're concerned and she may not be the best person to get relationship advice from. Bear in mind, that jealousy doesn't necessarily mean she wants to get with you, but more likely that she likes the attention you give her.

Vaemas · Post by **Vaemas** » March 14, 2007, 10:03 am

Having turned 29 on Monday (wtf did that come from?), I have to say...I realize every day how little I knew at 20 versus what I know today. Any time I want to know what experience is...what challenge is...what overcoming adversity is...I just talk to my 82 year old grandfather. That's some perspective for me.

Great Depression? Check!
WWII? Check!
Recessions? Check!
Failed businesses? Check!
Losing a wife? Check!
Living at poverty level? Check!

We all have our scars from life. There are good friends on this board that know mine. But I'll be the first to say...I've got it good. The "adversity" I've experienced in my life ain't shit compared to what others deal with daily.

Neziroth · Post by **Neziroth** » March 14, 2007, 2:56 pm

Kind of a more informal tangent thing... If the girl who's your good friend is the same girl that you were asking about a Christmas (I think that's how I remember it) present, I'd be willing to bet that her opinion of other women has just a tinge of jealousy (whether she knows it or not) where you're concerned and she may not be the best person to get relationship advice from. Bear in mind, that jealousy doesn't necessarily mean she wants to get with you, but more likely that she likes the attention you give her.

Same girl, good call.

But if you read my earlier post, that same girl's (my friend the advice giver) family is the one who allowed my potential new date to stay with them. Potential-date-girl then went on to really *really* bash friend-girl and her entire family after their act of charity. I've read the actual E-mail, it's not some made up story, either.

Whether there was any jealousy involved or not, I took the advice and didn't date her.

+10 bonus points to noel for paying attention though!

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » March 14, 2007, 6:01 pm

Neziroth wrote: Same girl, good call.

But if you read my earlier post, that same girl's (my friend the advice giver) family is the one who allowed my potential new date to stay with them. Potential-date-girl then went on to really *really* bash friend-girl and her entire family after their act of charity. I've read the actual E-mail, it's not some made up story, either.

Whether there was any jealousy involved or not, I took the advice and didn't date her.

+10 bonus points to noel for paying attention though!

Maybe they deserved it? I've known a lot of "good christian families" that will/have done things that seem the right thing to do, but in reality they aren't that christian, and make everyone involved feel like they're not worthy to lick the dirt off their boots. Charity is only charity if you expect nothing for it, and very few people do.

Or this girl could just be a psychopath, she was willing to date you after all ><

masteen · Post by **masteen** » March 14, 2007, 7:31 pm

Crazy pussy is the best pussy.

Neziroth · Post by **Neziroth** » March 14, 2007, 9:18 pm

Maybe they deserved it? I've known a lot of "good christian families" that will/have done things that seem the right thing to do, but in reality they aren't that christian, and make everyone involved feel like they're not worthy to lick the dirt off their boots. Charity is only charity if you expect nothing for it, and very few people do.

Or this girl could just be a psychopath, she was willing to date you after all ><

I've known her and her family since I was 8 years old. They're like a second family and I'm with them / around them for probably 20+ hours a week.

The things that were said about them were absolutely not true. If I didn't know for sure I wouldn't have made any decisions based on that whole fiasco.

Crazy pussy is the best pussy

I've had one crazy girlfriend ever, and I'll never ever EVER have another one.

I missed ONE date due to miscommunication, and she called me and told me she was killing herself, she said she was cutting her wrists while she was on the phone with me, and during my trying to calm her down she made a moaning sound and said "ohhhh red is so pretty..." and then she hung up.

I drive over and find her crying on her couch with a fucking BUTTERKNIFE next to her and she shows me her wrist. There's like, one of those little lines of red raised skin like if you brush up against something but don't quite break the skin.

She grabbed me and tried to get me to spend the night there, making all sorts of promises about what would happen if I did and I still walked out.

She called for weeks on end telling me how that would be the last time I talked to her because she was going to kill herself.

NEVER AGAIN.

I've actually asked girls after that if they're one of those crazy types a few times. When they laugh at you and find it funny is when you know they're not

Edit: Forgot to mention that she was the absolute best I've ever had though, so maybe there's some truth to your statement =p

Vaemas · Post by **Vaemas** » March 14, 2007, 10:01 pm

Man Nez, sounds like a girl I dated once...except she OD'd on pills and had the peasure of induced vomiting and drinking that liquid charcoal sludge the give you in the ER to absorb shit.

Then she got to spend a week in the county psych ward.

MooZilla · Post by **MooZilla** » March 16, 2007, 4:43 pm

Bros before hoes.