Delusional Parents

[Tyek]

I think as a parent I want the best for my kid. I understand their strengths and weaknesses. My son is not athletic, but he is a good musician. He likes to play sports and when I coach him, he subs more often because I know where his ability lies within my team.

My daughter is good athletically. She pitches for our softball team, she is slower then most. This is understandable since she is the smallest girl in her division, but she has a great changeup and is a good change of pace for our other faster pitcher. She actually has more strike outs then the faster pitcher and a lower ERA.

The reason I bring this up is that the team I help coach lost tonight and fell to 2-5. We have lost 3 of those games because our 3rd baseperson has made 26 errors in just 6 games. We moved her to second tonight and moved my daughter to left field to see if she would do better. She proceeded to give up 3 more errors which costs us 4 runs. We FINALLY moved her to left field and moved my daughter back to second. When my daughter went to pitch, the girl moved to 3rd base again and commited 3 more errors. We let her finish the game. Never said a negative word to her and encouraged her. Her daughter is also 0-17 leads the team in strike outs and has yet to score this season. After the game the mom went off on us for moving her daughter to the outfield and told us we should start blaming some of the other girls. I also found out her daughters team last year won it all and she thought the coach was a jerk for not letting her daughter play 3rd. I really wanted to tell her that if she felt that way not to show up anymore, but then I am the jerk, but at what point do you not notice your daughter has 30+ errors in 7 games and no hits???

Sorry for ranting, but the wife is working and I had no one to talkk to about it.

[Winnow]

but at what point do you not notice your daughter has 30+ errors in 7 games and no hits???

Did you tell the mom that her daughter was 0-17 at the plate with 30 errors?

After telling her that, repeat it again slowly, "I want you to understand that your daughter has never reached base...EVER (or has never gotten a hit if she managed a walk)" The next player on the team has half the errors (or whatever the number is) your daughter has made"

"To summarize. Your daughter has never contributed on offense and has twice the errors of the next worst player on the team. Please neuter yourself so another coach won't to explain this to you again."

[Tyek]

I would never say that to a parent, but it is making me not want to coach anymore. The girl is a nice girl, but the mom is psycho. We missed the first day of tryouts because my daughter was at a soccer tourney and we were new to the league. I think this was our hazing ritual, someone told us she was a 4 star player (we had to have someone rate the players for us the first day since we were not there) and sadly she became our 3rd round pick.

If I do coach again next year I am going to both days of tryouts, 2 of our early round picks were rated 4 stars and are probably 2 star players. It puts us at a huge disadvantage. I think though I will let someone draft my daughter and not worry about this crap.

On the plus side, I moved my daughter to this league because it was bigger and she would have a tougher challenge and she is batting .500 with a .650 OBP and pitching well. She has been great on defense too. Even more important, she is having fun.

[Zamtuk]

How old is the league? If she brings it up again in a rude manner, point out the stats. When my dad coached me, he printed out stat sheets before every game and handed them to all the parents. He included everything, even errors. He felt that, while it may be embarrassing for some kids, it kept the parents bitching to an absolute minimum, and it did. It was also cool as a player to check out your progress, too. He was the only little league coach I saw that did that.

[Tyek]

10 and under.

We considered doing that, but felt it would be embarrassing for the kids that were not performing. My goal is just to make the players better. If we win great.

This week we had a girl playing her first year and she hit a ball to the first baseman in the air. I have never seen a girl so excited making an out, but it was her first contact all year and she got to see the results of her hard work. I was really happy for her. Tonight we had another girl get her first hit as well and when she got to first base the inning ended because we got our 5 runs and she ran over and hugged me. I thought it was great and told her I am proud of her.

We are going to lose a lot of games, we knew no one in the league and have the weakest lineup, but we won a couple games, including beating an undefeated team and I know we are getting better, that is why she pissed me off.

[Tyek]

Like I said, she is delusional anyway. Her daughter was on the first place team last season and she bitched that he never let her daughter play 3rd. He had her in Left field all season and she felt her daughter should be in the infield. Maybe she should get the hints!!

I know one thing, I will never draft her again if I coach. She is a sweet girl, but her mom is too much work.

The best part is her ex-husband (no surprise there) told me tonight that his daughter loves softball, but she isn't very good, but he won't sit anywhere near her.

[Dregor Thule]

10 and under? Shit. I say just do whatever you can to make sure everyone is having a good time. Calmly smile and nod to the mom, let her feel she's getting her piece in, then put the kid in left field. She likes playing, and she probably would rather be in left field than making all sorts of errors and earning the ire of her teammates. 10 and under, christ. It's a good game if they all manage to show up in uniform!

[Sabek]

I would never say that to a parent, but it is making me not want to coach anymore.

This is the exact stuff that made my Brother-in-law stop coaching. He loves baseball, as does my nephew, and he has a great attitude and mind for coaching. He just couldn't take anymore the complaining of the parents about lineups, positions, and play time.

[Winnow]

10 and under shouldn't really even be played for anything other than fun. There are no scouts evaluating them at this age.

On the other hand, you shouldn't have to take being bitched at from parents. My post above was harsh and I wouldn't say that exactly as posted but I certainly would calmly explain the situation, and provide the stats (love stats!), feed her a little BS about her kid being great, and then stick her in left field. If the players are all pretty bad, you could just continuously rotate them each inning to a different position...1st, 2nd, SS, 3rd, RF, C, LF, C, P. Shift the entire team each inning with the Pitcher (end of the rotation chain) betting benched and the bench players entering at first base, and then reinsert the original pitcher after bench all inserted, and so on.

[Boogahz]

Like I said, she is delusional anyway. Her daughter was on the first place team last season and she bitched that he never let her daughter play 3rd. He had her in Left field all season and she felt her daughter should be in the infield. Maybe she should get the hints!!

I know one thing, I will never draft her again if I coach. She is a sweet girl, but her mom is too much work.

The best part is her ex-husband (no surprise there) told me tonight that his daughter loves softball, but she isn't very good, but he won't sit anywhere near her.

Leave her in left field and refer to the success she had there the year before!

[sarlen]

I have coached girls softball from little league 10 and under to ASA 16 and under teams for 4 or 5 years now. I have had parents like this in the past and frankly there is not much you can do. If you have a governing board you can file a complaint with them about the parent and they will talk to the parent about the issue. If the issue persists the board will eventually remove the parent and child from the system. Remember your not there to be any ones punching bag, your a volunteer there to teach these young girls the greatest sport on earth, don't let one loud mouth keep you from doing that.

I have had those seasons that turn out like this, end up 5-12 on the season and get flack from the parents like I had an all star line up but some how I managed to screw it all up. If one of them starts in about how their kid is a superstar and not getting the "good positions" I often remind them of my first team meeting of the year where I ask for parents to continue to work with their child on the fundamentals on off days. Everyone wants to bitch if I have practice more then 2 days a week but no one will take the time out to work with their kid at home. The response I usually get is "Thats your job". But just asking the question "Are you working with jr at home on his/her issues" is usually enough to shut them up, if they have not been they will feel a bit of guilt and embarrassment.

One more thing, if I get a parent that wants to really push it whether it be "my kid is the best" or "I suck as a coach" I always offer to let them assist coach a game. 98% of the time this will scare the hell out of them and they back down. The other 2% will do it and will shat them selfs the first time they have to make any type of decision or walk out onto the field for any reason. Try to help them see it from the coaches perspective and if you succeed they will be a lot calmer.

Final note, for 10 and under I never really coached with the mindset I needed to win. Don't get me wrong winning is the bomb but seeing the girls having fun and learning the game was just as rewarding and if we did loose it wasnt the end of the world as long as it wasnt a landslide. Any game you loose 20 to 0 is going to hurt.

[Clatis]

I was reading this seriously until you said 10 and under. You typed up the stats like it was major leagues. I say just let em have fun, if it bugs you too much to be losing to teams you know you can beat and it is this one girls fault, give her mom a copy of the stats sheet.

[Tyek]

For being under 10 the games are surprisingly serious. The stat sheet was so we could figure out the OPB more then anything. We want to make sure the girls getting on base the most are getting the most at bats. We have one girl batting .825, then my daughter at .500 and a couple other girls batting in the .300's. The stats are for the Head Coach and myself, no one else has seen it.

These little 10 year old girls can throw a pitch 45-48 mph from 35 feet away. It is very fast trust me, pitching wins most games. The girl in question is a sweet girl, her mom is just trying to live through her. I have told her a number of times to ignore the continual "helpful" hints mom gives her. You can tell it is making her nervous.

For the record, I could care less about the losing. I took over my son's team in soccer this year because the head coach had 3 teams. We were supposed to lose every game and we finished .500. I had more fun coaching those kids because they enjoyed the sport and they wanted to learn.

Winning is great, but as I said, it is little victories that matter to me. A new player getting her first hit, a girl catching the ball she dropped the previous 3 times. Those are the victories I enjoy. I also dedicate a ton of my time and even more pain to helping these girls. I understand a parents frustration when they think things should work a certain way, but to imply it is us punishing her daughter by moving her to left field? My daughter is signigficantly better then her and we started her in left field to give the girl a shot at second base. I also think an outfielder is just as important as an infielder. If the ball gets through, we need a good player backing up, catching flies and making good throws there as well.

[Truant]

I had several points of advice for you, but then I saw that it was 10 and under. Nearly every point of advice I had was from a more competitive stand point, and seemed kind of dumb for me to push them.

If you don't want to show the stats to the mother, then just remind her that softball is a team sport and that decisions are made for the better of the team. If she doesn't like that, suggest to her that she put her daughter in non team competitions.

[Kilmoll the Sexy]

All that sucks. It IS about winning and realizing and surpassing your potential. I don't care how old you are, if everythign is flowers and trophies for showing up, then that will translate down the road to an underachieving tree hugger. THIS IS HOW WE GET LIBERALS DAMNIT!

[Morgrym]

I coach my sons 10 and under soccer team and have only had one parent like that in the past. I took her aside and let her know that I try to get every child to play every posistion at some point so I can get a feel for what their strengths are. Some kids are just better on the line with good speed and ball control and some kids are just better defenders being able to focus and boot the ball out of their, "yard." I let her know that her son was not offensive minded nor was he going to excel at being a golie so the best choice for her son was to play defense so he could get better at it and hone his skills.

It helps if you let them know you are trying to look out for the best interests of the child and working on what they are good at so they can become better. It sounds like this girl is outfield material. Are the errors coming off of her fielding or throwing?

[Sargeras]

My second job is supervisor of a city-run softball complex. We host ASA and USSSA tournaments of all age brackets. In all the years I've done it, I've seen some pretty sick examples of how parents get so irate over a damn game. Yelling at their kid, the umpire, their own coach ffs. It's when they start bitching at the other team is when I'm forced to get involved. When fights break out is when you see their true colors, and I've watched as parents stand there and encourage their kid and egg them on to beat the crap out of each other.

Competition is one thing, but it's stuff like that that makes me not want my kids to play sports someday, but they will. It was a great thing to do when I was a kid and I want them to have that same experience.

Oh, and don't get me started on soccer.

[Fairweather Pure]

It should be illeagal for high school girls to practice soccer in those short shorts of thiers when motorists can see them. I drove by our local field on the way into work the other day and was not prepared to see a couple dozen tight assed, sweaty, and leggy hotties running up and down the field and doing various suggestive stretching exercises. It distracted me so bad that I almost hit the guy in front of me that had slowed down for a peek!

[Wulfran]

You guys keep stats like ERA, hits and errors for 10 and under???

At that age its about teaching the kids proper mechanics/technique/positioning and keeping it fun for them. One thing I would suggest is try not to bounce her around the positions too much as it can be confusing and contributing to further mistakes: let the kid get comfortable in a spot and make sure she has as much back up as you can give her. Confidence in their play is another thing kids have to learn and it starts on the bench.

[Sargeras]

It should be illeagal for high school girls to practice soccer in those short shorts of thiers when motorists can see them. I drove by our local field on the way into work the other day and was not prepared to see a couple dozen tight assed, sweaty, and leggy hotties running up and down the field and doing various suggestive stretching exercises. It distracted me so bad that I almost hit the guy in front of me that had slowed down for a peek!

Try prepping a softball field during a Girls 18 and under (college scouts) tournament in the middle of July in So Cal. Half the team comes out to you while your watering the field and asks you to soak them down because they're hot, sweaty, and trying to stay cool. You turn the hose on them and they just bounce and run their hands through their hair.

That's one of the favorite things about my job.

[Fairweather Pure]

Sometimes I feel like a dirty old man, but the majority of the time I just feel like a horny teenager. Thankfully, I have the constitution of a fucking saint and would never give into temptation, no matter how young, tight, and large breasted it may be.

[Tyek]

Yes we keep stats for the kids. We have to have an official scorekeeper, so the coach and I use the stats for decision making. Almost every error is missed ground balls and drops on throws to her. We kept her at third for the first 6 games and moved her to second this last one. When that failed she went to outfield and then back to third.

I am not sure why I let one parent bother me so much, but I think the fact that her daughter contributed to almost all our losses in a big way, combined with the pain from my knee issues just put her comment over the top for me. I ignored her comment, which I think pissed her off even more, but I really wanted to lay into her.

[Canelek]

Of course there is always a chance that the little girl may never realize her athletic potential due to early pressure and humiliation. Under 10 ffs! Those years should be dedicated to letting the kids play and have fun! If they are judged based on shit like ERA and fielding percentage, it may just ward them from athletics altogether--relegated to eating shitty food purchased via drive-thru by shitty parents, huffing paint and watching mtv.

Some parents should pull their heads out of their collective youth athletic failures and let the kids have fun. They are going to face plenty of pressure soon enough--and not just from soccer/football/baseball/whatever!

[Tyek]

Just for the record, no kid knows their stats. No parents know their stats, only the myself and the other coach. You can tell she was a player that never made it high enough and is trying to live through her daughter. I played soccer for 30 years, played teams from other countries, my team played a practice game against the Galaxy, but I know my son will never excel at the sport. He loves playing and I told him as long as he tries hard I am always going to be proud of him. All those years of soccer got me....bad bad knees. I don't understand people like this poor kids mom. I think I already said I was standing next to her one game and told her to stop worrying about the voices off the field (Mom) and relax, smile and have fun.

[Tyek]

Update...

Well we finally bit the bullet and moved the girl to left field permanently 3 games ago. Since then, we won one game 7-6. We lost 4-1 to the first place team that beat us 13-5 earlier. My daughter has a new pitch resulting in lots of pop ups to 3rd and our new 3rd baseperson made 5 plays. We also had bases loaded and no outs, but their shortstop made a diving catch and was able to double up our players. It was an amazing play that would have tied the game for us if she misses. Today we lost 6-4 to the team in second place, that was 10-3 so far. We had runners on 2nd and 3rd and their second baseperson "climbed the ladder": to take away the game tying hit again. (One time these things are going to fall for us)

The young girls parents came up to me last practice and asked why she was playing left field. I wanted to pull out the score book and show them the 3 games before the switch...12-5 loss, 14-5 loss, 13-3 loss all against teams we can beat> I wanted to point out the total change in errors before, and the games now, but I told her "this lineup seems to be working now. I want to see how long it works out." I told her that when we can do it, she will play infield. I also told her I would love to try her at catcher because she has a good arm but they refused.

**I also have to brag a little. My daughter is the smallest girl in the division. She pitches, throws lots of strikes, but she is slower then most. She has 3 pitches now to compensate and today she faced one of the best hitters in the league. She had 2 strikes so I called a changeup. It had to be the most beautiful changeup I have ever seen her pitch. The girl just froze, strike three!!. The umpire told me it was a thing of beauty. The batter slammed her bat down, the third base coach smiled at me and shook his head. When she has that thing going it makes her riser and fastball much quicker. Since the lineup change at 3rd, my daughter has given up 1 run in her last 5 innings. Ok bragging over.

[masteen]

I also told her I would love to try her at catcher because she has a good arm but they refused.

I love this little tidbit. So they want her to play at the positions where her weaknesses are exposed and her strength, her arm, really doesn't matter that much? What the hell kind of misplaced value system is that mother running on?

[Winnow]

A guy told me one time, "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."

Live your life by the movie quotes!

[Tyek]

Well the girl decided she would try catcher and guess what???

She did good. She played 4 innings of catcher and loved every minute of it, and now her mom is proud and thinks we are just the best coaches ever LOL.

[Tyek]

Well the girl decided she would try catcher and guess what???

She did good. She played 4 innings of catcher and loved every minute of it, and now her mom is proud and thinks we are just the best coaches ever LOL.

[Zaelath]

hahaha nice.

[Xanupox]

I don't know what to tell you. My own experiences are similar to what maybe the girl is going through.

I was just coming out of the Tee-ball league where I was the MVP of the team. I could consistently knock the ball off the batting Tee and drive it to the fence. I was blazing fast and could almost always make it to base before the other team could field the ball, even on a rare infield hit. On defense they had me on the pitchers mound because I was so fast to make a jump on the ball, often picking off those would-be base hits and I had a good arm to zip it to first base. I was a mad man.

I got drafted first the next season to the most competitive team in the league, it was no longer teeball, it was fast balls from hell.

I couldnt hit a damn single ball, I found myself in left field just because I had a good arm to throw the ball back to 2nd base. I felt useless, but my team still won 1st place. I felt like shit because I knew I coudlnt hit the ball and was going to be an instant strikeout. My best chances were to never swing and hope to get walked, which happened a few times... but still, I can relate I guess.

I never played baseball again after that year.

[Kaldaur]

I hear fastballs from the left field firepot really turn a game around.