American Gladiators

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noel
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American Gladiators

Post by noel »

So I watched this last night because I enjoyed it as a kid, and because I wanted to count how many times 'The Hulkster' said 'brother' (I lost count). I did enjoy it.

I'm not sure who else saw it, so I'm gonna run down some highlights of last night's show:
  • The number of times Hulk Hogan said 'Brother'. At one point, he used it to begin and end a sentence. For those of you familiar with Robot Chicken, you'll probably appreciate that.
  • The fact that the head referee is the same head referee as the one in the movie Dodgeball. I mean... that's just fucking funny.
  • The fact that the gladiator Titan looks completely gay and that the gladiator Militia actually was in gay porn. That too is very funny.
  • Some of the banter between the contestants and the gladiators was hilariously stupid. It was so bad, you had to laugh.
  • Watching the African-American woman in the first hour get completely foiled by the conveyor belt ramp/rope obstacle at the end of the eliminator and lose at least 35 seconds to the Asian woman she was competing against. If you missed this, see if you can grab a torrent. It's truly hilarious.
  • Seeing the head referee reprimand the male contestant in the second hour for 'giving the gladiator the business'. Not quite as funny as this [youtube.com], but I always enjoy a good 'giving him the business' call.
  • Seeing some of the contestants just get completely tossed around by the gladiators.
  • Seeing the woman (the Marine) in the second hour bang her head on the metal bar in the pool and compete the eliminator while bleeding all down her face.
  • Ultimately, my favorite moment last night by FAR was during the hanging ring event. For those of you unfamiliar, this event requires a contestant to swing on rings, from a platform on one side of a pool to another. The Gladiator starts on the opposite platform and attempts to stop the contestant from reaching the platform by swinging on rings. It's a common tactic for a gladiator to grab onto a contestant, wrap their legs around the contestant, and allow weak hand strength + the weight of the gladiator to finish the job. Last night, the Marine woman started swinging across, and the gladiator managed to grab her, and wrap her legs around her. The contestant went to two hands on a single ring (that's pretty much all you can do with an additional 155 lbs. hanging on you), and she somehow managed to get the gladiator hanging head down with her legs wrapped around the contestant. The gladiator used her stomach muscles to pull back up and grab on to the contestants hands to start to pull them off. I have no idea how the girl did this, but she hung on the entire time. The gladiator ended up reaching too much and falling off the contestant into the pool. The entire process took like 30 seconds. You may need to see it to see why it's impressive, but it was some absolutely crazy hand strength/endurance that allowed the contestant to do that. It was extremely impressive.
Overall it's a totally cheesy show just like it used to be, and I'm surprised to see it on NBC, but I'll watch it for moments like the ones above. File this under so horribly bad it's somehow good.
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Tyek »

The fact that the gladiator Titan looks completely gay and that the gladiator Militia actually was in gay porn. That too is very funny.
Funny....or sexy????
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Kluden »

I watched it...and I have to say the highlight was the life coach talking shit the whole time to both gladiators and fellow competitor, and then not being able to scale the treadmill incline (the one mentioned by Noel). She even resorted to cheating on it and that didn't help since she was wet from the pool and slipped on the rubber mats that are on both sides of the conveyor (cheating: ie, she attempted to run up the rubber mat instead of using the treadmill like you are supposed to).

I could do without the trash talking. Its just pathetic. Maybe just once, before the competition starts...but to shit talk before and after every single event just makes it way stupid. Perhaps if they hired the WWE writers to script up trash talk for both the gladiators and the competitors, it would be more palatable since you have to hear it every 2 minutes.

Its totally weak compared to the original, the original was better in that it was so low budget...this one is funny in the way that it is so high budget and there are significantly more makeup artists involved...ie, all gladiators and competitors have their makeup redone, and hair dried between events. My lady couldn't stop commenting on how "plastic" Titan looks...she was hung up on his face not being able to make any other expression but that extreme smile he has.

Its worth it for the cheap laughs...but i have a feeling this one is going to die in a one season only fire...although, I shouldn't discount what is probably the target audience...which may keep this around for 10 seasons.
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by noel »

Tyek wrote:
The fact that the gladiator Titan looks completely gay and that the gladiator Militia actually was in gay porn. That too is very funny.
Funny....or sexy????
Sexy is:
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Canelek »

Is it glare or a non-womanly bulge in her liederhosen?
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Re: American Gladiators

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Glare. The non-womanly bulge can be found on Helga. :P
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Fash »

That cameltoe can be seen from space!
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Dregor Thule »

Canelek wrote:Is it glare or a non-womanly bulge in her liederhosen?
She is merely flexing her labia.
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Re: American Gladiators

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Force the blood right out of extremeties.... GRIP!
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Tyek »

Ok is it me or does Wolf look kinda like Ben Stiller's character in Dodgeball?
When I was younger, I used to think that the world was doing it to me and that the world owes me some thing…When you're a teeny bopper, that's what you think. I'm 40 now, I don't think that anymore, because I found out it doesn't f--king work. One has to go through that. For the people who even bother to go through that, most assholes just accept what it is anyway and get on with it." - John Lennon
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Tyek »

LOL, Mongooses apparently cannot swim and like to take headers into foam mountains. Somehow he won anyway.
When I was younger, I used to think that the world was doing it to me and that the world owes me some thing…When you're a teeny bopper, that's what you think. I'm 40 now, I don't think that anymore, because I found out it doesn't f--king work. One has to go through that. For the people who even bother to go through that, most assholes just accept what it is anyway and get on with it." - John Lennon
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by noel »

That treadmill is instant hilarity every time they get there!
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Midnyte_Ragebringer »

noel wrote:Glare. The non-womanly bulge can be found on Helga. :P


mmmm, Helga.


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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Kaldaur »

Jesus, Helga looks like she just ate a gamer for lunch.
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Kwonryu DragonFist »

Mike O'Hearn may look gay but has been married with Midajah O'Hearn for years!
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Crush (Gina Carano) is a great female MMA-fighter when not a gladiator
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Fury (Jamie Reed) is in great shape
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But the favorite is of course HELLga
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Tyek »

I would be afraid those girls would cut me in half if they had an orgasm. Imagine those thighs closing around you, then looking down and your legs are falling away from your torso.
When I was younger, I used to think that the world was doing it to me and that the world owes me some thing…When you're a teeny bopper, that's what you think. I'm 40 now, I don't think that anymore, because I found out it doesn't f--king work. One has to go through that. For the people who even bother to go through that, most assholes just accept what it is anyway and get on with it." - John Lennon
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Kwonryu DragonFist »

Tyek wrote:I would be afraid those girls would cut me in half if they had an orgasm. Imagine those thighs closing around you, then looking down and your legs are falling away from your torso.
The thunderthighs is what make them good Tyek! :D
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Midnyte_Ragebringer »

Kwonryu DragonFist wrote:
Tyek wrote:I would be afraid those girls would cut me in half if they had an orgasm. Imagine those thighs closing around you, then looking down and your legs are falling away from your torso.
The thunderthighs is what make them good Tyek! :D
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Re: American Gladiators

Post by Tyek »

While this show is ok, it is nowhere near as good as Ninja Warrior!!
When I was younger, I used to think that the world was doing it to me and that the world owes me some thing…When you're a teeny bopper, that's what you think. I'm 40 now, I don't think that anymore, because I found out it doesn't f--king work. One has to go through that. For the people who even bother to go through that, most assholes just accept what it is anyway and get on with it." - John Lennon
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