Posted on newby forum on eq.com, the REAL patch message

No holds barred discussion. Someone train you and steal your rare spawn? Let everyone know all about it! (Not for the faint of heart!)

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Neost
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Posted on newby forum on eq.com, the REAL patch message

Post by Neost »

Credit to Xiao_Ming:

Please note: There are a lot of changes going into the game with
today's patch. Some of these changes (such as the changes to

resistances and spell stacking) will effect stuff that we have no idea

how it worked in the first place. Keep this in mind when you log in and

don't bother us. K? Thx! With system-wide changes like these it is

entirely possible that there are still bugs, in fact...we can say for

certain that we screwed up lots of stuff! Please just s.t.f.u and deal

with it. Not like there is any other game you can play. Suckers.

---------
Petitions
---------

/viewpetition displays the petition you have in the queue, and we know

you do because you guys whine a LOT.

/deletepetition deletes the petition you have in the queue, if any

(unless that petition is currently being viewed by CS staff). We like

this new command. Next patch we will give you a command to delete other

peoples petitions as well! We are looking into making a hotkey that

will let you randomly blow away petitions on servers you don't even

play on as well.

--------
Keyrings
--------

We will be resetting all keyrings with this patch. We HAD the key rings

working how we wanted, but you whiners didn't like our idea of having

to get a key every time you wanted to go after the phat lewtz. If you

had a key that you lost, do a petition, then a /deletepetition and then

go get another key. Losers.

------------------
Experience Changes
------------------

We have smoothed out level progression from 50-60. This should mitigate

the "penalty effect" that occurs in levels 51, 54 and 59 and pretty

much annoy anyone that had to go through these Hell Levels before we

decided to fix it. Note that it will cost the same experience to level

from 50 to 60 as it did before, but by using the new Verant Extra

Special Experiance Formula, you will need to kill twice as many blue

mobs to get the same experiance that you needed before.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! BOW, PEONS! KISS THE FILTHY FEET OF THE EXP GOD!

Also, death experience loss will appear different in some levels. Now

when you die, a GM will appear and laugh at you. We have assigned about

100 "Laughing GMs" per server to facilitate this. *NOTE* These GMs will

NOT answer a petition or a question. Sending a "Laughing GM" a /tell

will result in your banning, your friends banning, and having a Verant

Ghestapo member comming to your house and smashing your computer.

We have rebalanced the rewards for killing NPCs for characters over

level 50. NPCs that are considerably weaker than you will give you less

experience. NPCs give more experience the higher level they are, and

for the best results you should fight the most challenging monsters you

can reasonably manage. If you believe this please call us. We have

several bridges for sale we would like to discuss with you.

------
Spells
------

Gonzo the Chimp has been WAY busy on his Apple IIe working on spells.

Too bad none us speak "Chimp" or we would tell you what has changed.

Find out and tell us and you will get one free petition!


Whispers in the taverns of Katta Castellum speak of recently discovered

Ancient melodies. Ted Nugget will be making a special guest apperance

in the EC Tunnel to discuss 'Why Bards are Always Broken'.

Higher level PCs will be more resistant to lower level NPCs' spells.

This means that the annoying Lvl 5 Gnoll Shaman in Blackburrow will

still cast on you even if your Level 60, still land his spell, but you

should feel good about it since we know all about it and are laughing

at you.

Increased the number of spells that can be in effect on a given NPC to

30. Raised the NPC resists to 1 million kajillion.


----------------------
Spell Stacking Changes
----------------------

Spells now stack like pancakes from IHOP, instead of like playing

cards. This was an important change, as pancakes are more yummy.

------------------
Resistance Changes
------------------

We've made some fairly drastic changes to the way the spell resistance

system works. Previously, there was only the smallest benefit to having

resists over a certain value. We've reworked resistance in its

entirety, completely replacing the old system with one that is more

logical:

There is now a Secret Button Combo that you must type BEFORE the NPC

Spell lands on you! To receive your 20 diget Secret Resist Code, we

will tell it to you for $50. You Secret Code is only good for 30 days,

so be sure to renew your Secret Resist Code when it runs out!

The idea behind the changes is pretty simple: Resists should matter if

your rich.

For spells that require Line of Sight (LoS), the LoS check is now at

the beginning of the spellcast, not the end. Spells that require but do

not have of LoS will now fail immediately.

Harmful spells require LoS. Unless your an NPC. If your an NPC, you can

now cast harmful spells on people two zones away.

--------------
Priest Changes
--------------

We gave clerics a lot of usless junk, but we are laughing to hard to

write it down.

---------------
Sound and Music
---------------
After 3 years of listening to you jerks whine, we have decided to use a

new music and sound system. We were lucky enough to be able to liscense

the Atari 2600 Sound Engine for like two bucks! As soon as we can find

a way to bolt it onto our new Wolfenstine 3D Engine, we'll roll it out.

-----
Items
-----

Items now display level-restricted statistics besides armor class and

damage as a red number with the unrestricted value in parentheses. Now

you can see without a doubt that all those uber Stone Tipped Spears and

stuff from CT REALLY ARE for Lvl 35+.

--------------
User Interface
--------------

Deleting Spells from Spellbook: We thought it was pretty cool that you

guys could lose items, so we thought it would be even FUNNIER if you

could lose spells! We are eagerly awaiting to see how bad we botched

this.

Please note: This does not convert the spell back into a scroll. You

will have to buy a new scroll if you wish to re-scribe the spell. No

reimbursements will be made for deleted spells.

Fixed a bug that sometimes caused a crash when zoning with the corpse

window open. Now you just crash all the time.

There will now be sound when banking coins. This was a top priority! We

are sorry for the inconvienence this may have caused.

----
Misc
----

The Help window will now be displayed on startup. This will happen only

if it has never been seen before (since this change). You will need to

enter a valid Credit Card number when this pops up.

-The EverCamp Team-
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Skunki
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Post by Skunki »

Priest Changes
--------------

We gave clerics a lot of usless junk, but we are laughing to hard to

write it down.

are you sure you dont mean the clerics have the last laugh? :)
Skunki Goldenheal
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Post by vn_Tanc »

EQ players whining like bitches on a patchday?
Whatever next. . .
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