VeeshanVault

Okay newly married couple

She has divorced parents who hate each other and each of whom represent large extended families, one brother and sister who cannot be in the same room, grandparents across the state etc.

He has his mum, the rest of his family is rather moot. He would be glad to trade all of them for an extra hour each week to spend with his wife.

He wants a Christmas at home on Christmas Day, just he, his wife, his stepchildren and whomever wants to visit. Half of her family is welcome to visit on Eve, half on Day, or the Day following, but they are all welcome to visit in whatever patterns their hatred allows.

She wants to go to her fathers house, her mothers house, her grandparents house, odds on that this year will also include a trip to her sisters house. There is no way logistically this can be done in a day, and including grandparents across state makes it a three day exercise with 10 hours of driving, multiple huge cold bad meals and multiple "gift pools"

(BTW Gift pools are dumb as fuck, buy gifts for those you want to buy for, and nothing for those you do not, I refuse to ever get stuck buying a gift for someone I either do not know, or do not like again)

So last year, he reluctantly did all multitude of visits, and ended up tired, angry, and with an upset stomach in the name of peace. So the question for all of you is...

Is he being unrealistic that immediate families are supposed to develop traditions for themselves, and the hyper extended family thing is a waste, or is she being unrealistic in demanding that all of her family is visited?

Kylere wrote:Okay newly married couple

You can just stop right there...

First Family Christmas.

Tell the Family that if they want to come over, your house is Sweden and they can leave their pathetic little quabbles at home.

Fuck Christmas and the sled it rode in on.

There is no solution to this problem. Christmas sucks and holidays suck in general. It's the most miserable time of the year. You're screwed. If you drink, drink heavily during the holiday season and it will pass by eventually.

X-mas ain't a time to be miserable.

If you're spending 10+ hours on the road during the 72 hours that is x-mas eve, x-mas and boxing day, then you're doing something wrong. If you must go somewhere every x-mas, then alternate who you see on a yearly basis.

You assume you'll still be married then!

HAH!

Animalor wrote:X-mas ain't a time to be miserable.

If you're spending 10+ hours on the road during the 72 hours that is x-mas eve, x-mas and boxing day, then you're doing something wrong. If you must go somewhere every x-mas, then alternate who you see on a yearly basis.

Boxing Day? What the hell? Damn Canadians (and assorted other backwards countries) get your own server!

Skip Christmas visits, travelling, and gift exchange completely. You'll be a much happier person.

Winnow wrote:Fuck Christmas and the sled it rode in on.

There is no solution to this problem. Christmas sucks and holidays suck in general. It's the most miserable time of the year. You're screwed. If you drink, drink heavily during the holiday season and it will pass by eventually.

Obviously no-one loves you, but that's ok Mr. Scrooge.

Kylere - as someone stated you pick a home to do christmas at that year, and then rotate. My family would rotate between who was hosting Christmas. My moms brother would spend one year with us, then the next year with his wife's family etc. Trying to run around like a chicken with their head cut off is far too difficult.

If your side of the family is small I'd suggest hosting Christmas at your place, people (as stated before) Leave their differences at the door, and you have everyone at your place for a giant feeding frenzy for one night. This way you'll get the best of both worlds of having everyone there.

My aunt, when she hosted, would have in excess of 25+ people at her place, and our family was only about 10 people big, so you can imagine all the other people she invited. I'm not usually a fan of big events, but for christmas it was always a lot of fun. Anyone that was a grump would get a kick in the ass, and I always got my recliner chair which my aunt reserved for me so I could nap during part of it, because I worked the offshift and would have had roughly about 90 mins of sleep if I was lucky.

Thanks for all of your input, it is really a challenge. The Baby Boom generation really fucked things up, all their hippy asses with their mommy/daddy/family issues and now we have wierd ass things like this happening.

But that is another post.

You could always become a Jehovahs Witness in November.

I would (if possible) go to her parents house in one day.....and if the grandparents don't care enough to visit their children (ie: her parents) while she is there, then the hell with them.

Said sister should also visit her parents. All Christmas crap should be done at one central location. If the siblings don't want to show up then fuck em.

That gives you one day at home and one day of hell. It is what we call compromise. Of course, being thaqt you are married, you lost all rights to live a normal and logical life. Jack Nicholson said it best when he described women as "I just think of a man...and then discard all logic and reason."

Buy everyone Jello! Or make it yourself! Watch it Jiggle. See it Wiggle! There is always room for Jello!

Actually the quote is "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."