VeeshanVault

Ok, on the wierd list of posts today, this is going to rank pretty high.

When I was at the mall yesterday, i picked up this bottle of massage oil.. watermelon flavoed, ingrediants listed are just sugar, water, flavoring, and food coloring.. you know, the usual. Anyways, it's listed as watermelon "flavored", so I had assumed that it was.. you know.. edible.

So I get home, and opt to try it out. I put some on my hand, rub it in.. gets warm (like it says it should, yippie!) and then decide to take a taste.


(dramatic pause)


My lips and tounge were numb for about 4 hours after... and my fiancee has pretty much threatened me with castration if I use it on her. That being said, does anyone have any GOOD, non numbng brands of massage oil to try out?

Product I got was from Wet International, if anyone else has used it before.

Advice pls.

Are you sure that didn't say Watermellon flavored anal lube?

...

yes, I'm positive.

I found a great brand. Heat activated and it tastes really good. It's at my fiancee's place i'll have her look up the brand and let you know

It's actually really great also because it does not have much sugar in it so you are both not really sticky as hell after your session.

EQ playah's talking about sex in a non-joking/mocking manner scares the hell out of me.

Sex?? this is about "massage" oil. Draw your own inferences from that.

Sex?? this is about "massage" oil. Draw your own inferences from that.

Except that you don't fucking eat message oil. If you rub a substance on someone with the knowledge that you will be tasting said substance, it goes beyond a message and enters the realm of sex. If it dosen't, you are really doing something wrong.

Also, the product was called "Wet". That is a popular brand of sexual lube. I have never heard of using it as a message oil. That sounds pretty fucked up IMO since it's a water based product and would seem pretty nasty getting it rubbed all over any area that is not cock/vagina/ass related.

Look for a product called Silk for sex lube. It's expensive, but it is worth it. For message oil, go for the basics you can order anywhere online.

I knew Fairweather would come through for me on this thread.

So I get home, and opt to try it out. I put some on my hand, rub it in.. gets warm (like it says it should, yippie!) and then decide to take a taste.


(dramatic pause)


My lips and tounge were numb for about 4 hours after... and my fiancee has pretty much threatened me with castration if I use it on her. That being said, does anyone have any GOOD, non numbng brands of massage oil to try out?

If it didn't numb your hands after you rubbed it in there.. and only numbed your lips and tongue after tasting it.. maybe that would clue you in that it's not edible.

Most massage oils are meant to be rubbed in - not eaten.

Here's a link to a massage oil that is approved by the FDA for food use!
http://silkyscents.com/massage_oil.htm

If it didn't numb your hands after you rubbed it in there.. and only numbed your lips and tongue after tasting it.. maybe that would clue you in that it's not edible.

Yeah, that was my real, big clue..

Also, the product was called "Wet". That is a popular brand of sexual lube. I have never heard of using it as a message oil.

I never heard of it before, tho I don't exactly have much knowledge of the realm of sex toys or lubes.

Except that you don't fucking eat message oil. If you rub a substance on someone with the knowledge that you will be tasting said substance, it goes beyond a message and enters the realm of sex. If it dosen't, you are really doing something wrong.

Have ya never kissed the shoulder or back or neck of the person yer giving a massage to man? It adds a dose of tenderness and gentleness, and works to help relax. I just wanted somthing that didn't smell like that crap they had in Bath nd Body Works.. that shit is HORRID.. took a wiff of that stuff first and about passed out in the middle of the store lavendar vanilla? AGH.. that place is like kryptonite for a guy, I think... so I went for somthing that smelled of watermelon instead.
[/quote]

I once bought this edible lube 'cream.' I can't even remember the flavor, but it was like a buttery something or other. It tasted really good, but it definitely made my lips/tongue go numb (not for 4 hours mind you!) They said it was supposed to do that! I think they said something along the lines of, man, numb, lasting longer...blah blah blah. I think I was too red to listen anymore.

Most of the lubes on the market today are indeed designed with a numbing intent. As Hayley mentioned, they are there to numb the skin on the penis, so the man lasts longer in bed.

If you're looking for 'massage oil,' you probably don't want something flavored. Go for the good stuff. Most certainly don't substitute sex lube for massage oil (your fiancee will get plenty pissed when her back is sticky and disgusting after a few minutes).

If you're in the market for lubricant, why not use the time-tested standard? K-Y is sold in liquid form (better than the jelly), and is both cheap and effective. It also contains no 'numbing' ingredients -- it's just water and glycerin, for the most part.

hmm

Saliva > Astroglide > KY...

Though if ya want flavouring opt for Chocolate Syrup...I though half the fun of sex was the mess...

And hold the numbing thanks...

Akaran_D wrote:ingrediants listed are just sugar, water, flavoring, and food coloring.. you know, the usual.

that would be your first and only BIG clue, shouldn't massage oil have o-i-l listed somewhere in there?

AGH.. that place is like kryptonite for a guy,

funny...

maybe i'm fucking crazy...but when just needing oil for a massage that isn't going anywhere....I always used baby oil.

honestly, for a good massage oil without all that fancy stuff, Baby oil is one of the best things you can use. The Bath and Body works smells too much, and all the other brands just stink (literally). Baby oil has a nice smell to it and it's not very strong. It's also not very thick which can make it easier on your fingers if you're doing the massaging, and if you're the recipient, it won't make your body feel "heavy" afterwards.

Try this:

OMG hahaha

talk about FLAMES


Gemily

http://store.tootimid.com/product.asp?ProductID=217679

http://silkyscents.com/massage_oil.htm#Edible

There you go

Drollypoo is massage expart~

Drolgin you link stealer!!!

Baby oil also works exceptionally well for anal sex...err...or so I've heard!

wtf i no steal

Baby oil also works exceptionally well for anal sex...err...or so I've heard!

Oil based products and anal sex do not mix well at all. Yes, it works, but there are a mydrid of better sources that are easily available. First of all, if you're using condoms, baby oil weakens the latex. Secondly, the oil can mess up a woman's delicate poopy ecosystem. The poopy ecosystem is also messed up by using soaps as an anal lubricant. If a woman is relaxed enough to use baby oil, you might as well just use saliva. To help you remeber, here's a little phrase you can think of. "Spit don't hurt shit"

Carry on.

Fairweather Pure wrote: First of all, if you're using condoms, baby oil weakens the latex. Secondly, the oil can mess up a woman's delicate poopy ecosystem. Carry on.

Oil will literally eat away and break down a latex condom in ~ 60 seconds.

LOL...why worry about a woman's delicate poopy ecosystem? Having anal sex alone can damage the anal sphincter and in the long run, almost render the sphincter unable to hold any stool up inside the rectum..., pretty much making it useless.

Just a little FYI for the day!

Having anal sex alone can damage the anal sphincter and in the long run, almost render the sphincter unable to hold any stool up inside the rectum..., pretty much making it useless.

Hersey and misinformation like this are the cause of OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of woman never even considering anal sex. It is uneduacted scare tactics. Posts like this piss me off simply because you are passing along ignorance and rare examples as common fact.

Yes, anal sex can damage the sphincter if done incorrectly. Traditional sex can also damage the vagina if done incorrectly. What is your point?

As far as not being able to hold your stool, well, that is borderline Urban Myth. My queer uncle has been taking it up the ass for about 30 fucking years and his stool isn't spilling out of his ass at Christmas dinner. If people consistantly shove bowling pins up thier ass 3 times a day, complications can occur. However, if anal sex is done within reasonable limits, the result will be nothing more than an ass full of semen and 2 smiling people.

Fairweather Pure wrote: As far as not being able to hold your stool, well, that is borderline Urban Myth. My queer uncle has been taking it up the ass for about 30 fucking years and his stool isn't spilling out of his ass at Christmas dinner. If people consistantly shove bowling pins up thier ass 3 times a day, complications can occur. However, if anal sex that is done within reasonable limits, the result will be nothing more than an ass full of semen and 2 smiling people.

Fairweather = king of entertaining Sex Info! You should teach High School Sex Ed Classes : )

ROFL...and you're the anal sex God?! I guess I should tell my physician friend that her clients are making shit (pardon the pun!) up as to why they're having problems holding gas/stool in, eh?

Generally, anal leakage becomes a problem when the muscles of the anal sphincter and/or rectum have been repeatedly injured or overstressed. This is more often caused from anal sex done improperly as well as from a guy having a really large dick. The summation I gather from your post is that you assume every guy knows how to properly have anal sex OR that you have a really small dick and can't cause any problems with the sphincter. In essence, you basically admitted that problems indeed CAN be caused from anal sex even though you labeled it a "borderline urban myth."

By the way, is it common practice for your queer uncle to discuss his fecal passings over Christmas dinner? Your family must be really different than mine. I think any of my family members might find that a little embarassing to discuss.

Oh yeah, I apologize for pissing you off over facts that you pretty much admitted to in your own post! The unbiased reader will read over both our posts and come to the conclusion that we're both arguing over the same point...just finding different ways to say it.

Seeing as how I am on his ignore list anyhow...Damn, Fair I didn't know Dregor Thule was your uncle.

where there's poop there's Sparty
well, where are you sparty? this thread is screaming for another massage/anal sex picture, poop in the corner mandatory

I guess I should tell my physician friend that her clients are making shit (pardon the pun!) up as to why they're having problems holding gas/stool in, eh?

It dosen't take a rocket scientist to know you're trying to pass off second hand knowledge as fact. I hinted at that in my post, but thanks for clarifying.

Generally, anal leakage becomes a problem when the muscles of the anal sphincter and/or rectum have been repeatedly injured or overstressed.

And this still has nothing to do with normal anal sex. If you were doing it correctly, there would never be any repeated injury or overstressing of the sphincter. Once again, all your points are moot when discussing the average person and reasonable limits. You are taking worse case examples and advertising them as common.

The summation I gather from your post is that you assume every guy knows how to properly have anal sex OR that you have a really small dick and can't cause any problems with the sphincter.

No, the majority of people that try anal sex are young and uneducated, which often results in the woman having an extremely bad/painful experiance. It is unfortunate and sad, but that is the case. The size of my cock has nothing to do with the fact that I am not damaging my GF's ass when we opt for butt sex. It has to do with experiance and "breaking her in". Very few women can take it balls deep in the ass without going through several steps beforehand, some of which take initiative and time. These range from the simple things like lubrication and level of horniness/freakiness, all the way to extremely complex issues like self-image and trusting thier partner.

In essence, you basically admitted that problems indeed CAN be caused from anal sex even though you labeled it a "borderline urban myth."

Yeah, if you shove bowling pins up your ass, or did you not read that part? This is like the government talking about how dangerous pot is by talking about the 18 yr old from Idaho that had an alergic reaction and died in 1968. You're reaching for straws here, and they just do not apply to 99.9% of the people that are butt fucking.

The unbiased reader will read over both our posts and come to the conclusion that we're both arguing over the same point...just finding different ways to say it.

I wonder if they'll agree with your second hand conjecture, or my first hand knowledge/experiance? Boy, that's a tough call. It's also worth noting that the people that post here are not angels. I'm certian they have thier own experiance to show how far off the mark you truely are.

I can't belive I'm having an argument about the medical side effects of anal sex with someone who is so clueless. This conversation is akin to an Average Joe telling the mechanic how to fix thier car based on a 15 minute segment they saw on 60 minutes the week before. You don't know, so please stfu already.

ROFL...and you're the anal sex God?!

If that is a reference as to how much I know about anal sex, then no. I am more like the fucking anal sex Holy Trinity. This is like going up to Jackie Chan and saying "ROFL....you know karate?" You bet your ass I do.

ew

You are absolutely right Fairweather! I should swallow what you have to spit out word for word. This coming from the same person that said "baby oil weakens the latex." Baby oil shouldn't even ever be used with latex...period.

Also, you compare anal sex to regular vaginal sex. I dunno...last I checked there were three major sphincters in the body. One being in the throat (esophogial sphincter), the second in your stomach (pyloric sphincter), and thirdly in your anus (there are actually two here, outer and inner anal sphincter). Since when did the vagina inherit a sphincter? I dunno...you compared the two and in comparing sex btwn the two orifices, you claim that only injury can be caused by sticking a bowling pin into either of them. I'll be sure and let medical schools across the nation know that Fairweather Pure said anal sex is just like vaginal sex in regards to getting the same kind of injuries because both sphincters RARELY get injured.

Your points are actually moot my friend. The average person DOESN'T know how to properly have anal sex. As a matter of fact, the AVERAGE person didn't even know NOT to use oil as a lubricant when using a condom. OMG!!!

I like how you threw your 99.9% of the people butt fucking don't have problems when in fact this is a very REAL problem. Wait...maybe you're trying to tell me that the 1% of people that have this problem had bowling pins stuck up their asses? OOOOOH...I get it now!

"I wonder if they'll agree with your second hand conjecture, or my first hand knowledge/experiance? Boy, that's a tough call."

It's a tough call indeed! Do you often have your girlfriend strap on a dildo and shove it up your ass? This is what I like to call "first hand knowledge." I won't get into my personal life, but I'm willing to wager that I *might* have a bit more first hand knowledge than you, unless you like to play "catcher" a lot?

Finally, my physician friend is a practicing OB/GYN getting her residency in West Virginia. I'll be sure and tell her how clueless I am and that the ONLY way to get bowel incontinence sexually would be from sticking items such as bowling pins up our asses.

Hayley wrote:Do you often have your girlfriend strap on a dildo and shove it up your ass?

When he answers this question with a 'yes' as though everyone does it that way, please don't be surprised.

Hayley said sphincter.

*insert Beavis and Butthead laugh*

Yuo gotta love a country where a question about massage oil can deteriorate into a debate about Anal Sex, Bowling pins and Strap-ons..

-Ajran

just as long as I don't hear about it in gu tonight, aj. =p

I think the Average person when told that he can go ahead and put that sucker in the ass doesn't really care about being too careful. Finding a woman who not only is willing but actually likes it up the ass is a treasure.

Ok going out on a limb here but what is the "wrong" way to do this? I mean it seems pretty straight forward, put Cock A into Hole B (or C depending on where you start your labeling). Granted that it isn't something that you thrust yourself into. There is a bit of prep that needs to be done but it can't be much more difficult than that. Never had any problems doing this myself but then again I have a small dick so I was made for ass fucking.

<<<Insert flames and jokes at my expense here>>>

Hayley, I do not expect you to believe everything I say. I would hope no one would believe everything they read about the pros and cons of anal sex on an EQ msg board. I would expect you to understand the difference between someone talking shit (goddamn puns), and someone whom knows what their talking about.

Basically, you're arguing side effects if done improperly, which newbs are guilty of. I am arguing that people who engage in anal sex on a regular basis do not experiance the issues you explained. 2 sides of the same coin, so I will differ that we are arguing, like you said, about the same thing in different ways. If this were a face to face conversation, it would indeed be an engaging conversation and easier to see each other's points. On a msg board, it's quite frustrating.

Do you often have your girlfriend strap on a dildo and shove it up your ass? This is what I like to call "first hand knowledge." I won't get into my personal life, but I'm willing to wager that I *might* have a bit more first hand knowledge than you, unless you like to play "catcher" a lot?

You infer that I have doubts about my sexuality/masculinity, which I assure you, I do not. I won't get into my personal life either, but I have never dated a woman that was genuinly aroused by fucking a man in the ass. But hey, if it really turned her crank, I'm sure I would find a way to accomodate her. I'm just that kind of guy. However, I simply have no curiousity in that reguard. If I did, I'd be shoving something up my ass right now. Besides, I have found myself in situations that most people would consider OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS more hardcore than that, but this is not the time or place for stories. Suffice it to say, if your comment was meant to shock or dumbfound me, you failed.

As a homework assignment, the Veeshanvault readers should go home and buttfuck, or be buttfucked, whichever turns you on. Report any tearing or anal leakage tomarrow

The prep work goes both ways. Relaxation is key. I had a GF who I couldn't fit my little finger in at the start of the session. After about 1 hour of SD, I could've probably fit my whole hand up there if I wanted too. So much is a state of mind, it's simply amazing. The SD was work and took about 30 minutes prep time before we even started. That requires OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of effort.

It dosen't matter if you have a 1 inch cock, you can still hurt the woman if you don't listen to her and go with her flow. Patience is key. An asshole isn't a slick vagina.

Gotta run. Five PMs... I may not have time to anwer you all tonight, nothing personal, just busy.

geesh people unless u do something really wrong(it >hurts< and ur gonna yell) there isn't really anything bad and it all goes back to place after awhile. sure it still says a little bigger but its not gonna get huge and crap unless like he said above ...ur puttin bowling pins up there. and yes i have first hand knowlage so poo on you(no pun intended)

sounds kinky

I'm gettin a chubby.

a vibrating dildo hits YOU for 1000 points of damage. LOADING PLEASE WAIT!!!

Hayley wrote:The average person DOESN'T know how to properly have anal sex. As a matter of fact, the AVERAGE person didn't even know NOT to use oil as a lubricant when using a condom.

As the implied "average person" here, I take issue with this statement. I never said I use baby oil as a lube in conjunction with a condom. When it comes to anal sex with a trusting, long-term partner, I don't even consider condoms part of the equation. (When you know that neither of you has any STDs, then the only purpose of a condom is to prevent pregnancy...which is a moot point when using the 'back door').

Baby oil, yes. Condoms, no.

One time at a Christmas party, my brother (Braxter) took some edible underwear and some edible lube and made a sandwich and ate it.

I have gone away from this thread with more knowledge. I have learned you never, ever mess with Fairweather or Hayley about ass fucking. I am of the belief that Hayley should let Fairweather bang her ass to see if her sphincter gets damaged and to see if he knows as much about butt sex as he claims. You can post the pics here for the FV regulars to judge. Winner gets to ass bang the mangina of their choice.

To: Leiloni

JACKASS!