One Liners for a Friday Morning
Posted: May 7, 2004, 9:38 am
> ONE LINERS
>
> Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
>
> One turns to the other and says "dam"
>
> **********
>
> Two peanuts walk into a bar One was a salted.
>
> **********
>
> A sandwich walks into a bar.
>
> The barman says, "Sorry - we don't serve food in here."
>
> **********
>
> A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
>
> "A beer please, and one for the road."
>
> **********
>
> Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony
> wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.
>
> **********
>
> Two cannibals are eating a clown.
>
> One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
>
> **********
>
> "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'." That
> sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?"
>
> "It's not unusual."
>
> **********
>
> Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly:
>
> "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
>
> "I don't believe you," said Dolly.
>
> "It's true, no bull!"
>
> **********
>
> A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The
> shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
>
> **********
>
> Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
>
> One says, "I've lost my electron."
>
> The other says, "Are you sure?"
>
> The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
>
> **********
>
> Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese and there are 5 people
>
> in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my
> dad......or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger brother
> Ho-Cha-Chu, but I'm pretty sure it's Colin.
>
> **********
>
> I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
>
> any.
>
> **********
>
> I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 that he
> couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
>
> And he said, "No, the steaks are too high."
>
> **********
>
> What do you call a fish with no eyes?
>
> A fsh
Cheers
>
> Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
>
> One turns to the other and says "dam"
>
> **********
>
> Two peanuts walk into a bar One was a salted.
>
> **********
>
> A sandwich walks into a bar.
>
> The barman says, "Sorry - we don't serve food in here."
>
> **********
>
> A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
>
> "A beer please, and one for the road."
>
> **********
>
> Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony
> wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.
>
> **********
>
> Two cannibals are eating a clown.
>
> One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
>
> **********
>
> "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'." That
> sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?"
>
> "It's not unusual."
>
> **********
>
> Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly:
>
> "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
>
> "I don't believe you," said Dolly.
>
> "It's true, no bull!"
>
> **********
>
> A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The
> shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
>
> **********
>
> Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
>
> One says, "I've lost my electron."
>
> The other says, "Are you sure?"
>
> The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
>
> **********
>
> Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese and there are 5 people
>
> in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my
> dad......or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger brother
> Ho-Cha-Chu, but I'm pretty sure it's Colin.
>
> **********
>
> I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
>
> any.
>
> **********
>
> I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 that he
> couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
>
> And he said, "No, the steaks are too high."
>
> **********
>
> What do you call a fish with no eyes?
>
> A fsh
Cheers
