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Pain is...

Posted: April 27, 2004, 11:53 pm
by MooZilla
Well. We've had 'Anger is...' and 'Happiness is...' now its time for something new :D

Pain is going down the stairs with your class in line, being in front, having the person behind you push you down the stairs, you getting your arm caught in the railing halfway down, and it becoming fractured in 3 places.

Posted: April 28, 2004, 1:10 am
by Akaran_D
Pain is having four six inch long vials of spinal fluid removed and not being told that moving around after will cause your eyeballs to feel like they are being pushed out from your face every time you stand up to take a leak while Satan's marching band does their rendition of "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" in the base of your skull all because you had a migrane flare at the time of orgasm in the shower that nearly made you pass out...

Pain is having a 24/7 condition that attacks the soft muscle points in your body with unrelenting lava-like pinpricks that you will have to deal with the rest of your life even though it feels like your muscles are melting into an acidic mass that is eating at your bones.

Pain is punching a wall in anger, only to be so furious that you miss the targeted point and end up smashing into the doorframe only to discover the frame is built with solid stone blocks protected by a steel plating a quarter of an inch thick - and bending it with your suddenly shattered knuckle.

Pain is puking your guts out while trying to hold four sets of stitches in place the day after you've had your gallbladder out.

Pain is having your head shoved into a gurney by a pair of forcips being wielded by an enraged surgeon while you spurt blood a yard straight into the air from a ruptured stich over an artery in the back of your throat where your rotted tonsils used to be a week previous.

Pain is trying to pick out individual grains of sand out of a scrape on your knee that nearly goes to the bone and that takes up the better part of a 4 inch square area after you skid on gravel while playing basketball and end up slamming into the concrete ground that is covered by sandbox sand from a ruptured bag holding the hoop in place.

Pain is having to put your own jaw back into place after tonsil surgery.. three weeks later when you can finally move it enough to take more than three bites of food only to have it crack so loudly the people sitting three tables away from you at the restraunt your family took you to eat at jump.

Pain is scratching your balls under a thin cotton blanket with one leg high up in the air as you lay on your side without realizing there's a kitten that weighs about 5 pounds at the end of the bed with sharp ckitten claws and evil kitten teeth that thinks whatever the heck that bobbing motion is, it's somthing that needs to be torpedoed...

Pain is discovering your bodies sudden and new ability to disclocate any joint at whim.

Pain is hurting your shoulder so that you don't have the same flexibility that you're used too after three years of bending it behind your back... then constantly forgetting you can't just whip it back and around as fast as Senator Kerry changes stances on an argument until it limbers back up.

Pain is wearing way too loose shorts and underware while biking and sitting at an odd position so that when you jerk up to quickly bike across a busy highway, your testicles get caught - then pop out - from under the edge of your bike seat.

Pain is having your testicles stepped on in the shower.. and feeling one of the balls slide out from under said persons foot with an audiable "pop".

Pain is the hangover from chugging half a bottle of Bacardi after sucking down several daquirs and hard lemonades when you'd never been drunk before in your entire life.

Pain is twisting your lower back as you lift a half paralyzed woman trhat weighs more than four times your bodyweight into a car and being unable to move to correct it until she's fully loaded in.

Posted: April 28, 2004, 1:32 am
by Runcade
Akaran_D wrote:Pain is having your testicles stepped on in the shower.. and feeling one of the balls slide out from under said persons foot with an audiable "pop".
why were your balls on the ground?

Posted: April 28, 2004, 1:35 am
by Akaran_D
I made the mistake of sitting down after using them to just let the water roll over my face and shoulders..

Went well till the use-r took a wrong step. ><

Posted: April 28, 2004, 2:28 am
by Lalanae
Akaran contemplates pain so much he must be Goth

Posted: April 28, 2004, 9:09 am
by Akaran_D
Contemplates? No.
Experiences, yes.
Goth? It's WV.. yeah, right. =p

Posted: April 28, 2004, 9:51 am
by Sylvos
Life is pain Princess, anyone else that says differently is selling you something.

Posted: April 28, 2004, 9:53 am
by Wonko Wenusberg
I must be a sell out sleuth then

Posted: April 28, 2004, 12:06 pm
by Ennia
Labor.
Without medications.

Posted: April 28, 2004, 1:24 pm
by Siji
Pain is scratching your balls under a thin cotton blanket with one leg high up in the air as you lay on your side without realizing there's a kitten that weighs about 5 pounds at the end of the bed with sharp ckitten claws and evil kitten teeth that thinks whatever the heck that bobbing motion is, it's somthing that needs to be torpedoed...
Having 2 cats, I know this is true first hand. This comment is teh win!

Posted: April 28, 2004, 1:53 pm
by Dregor Thule
Pain is reading these forums.

Posted: April 28, 2004, 3:34 pm
by MooZilla
Ennia wrote:Labor.
Without medications.
Ouch. I respect any woman that has gone through child birth.

Posted: April 28, 2004, 4:27 pm
by Talelor
Akaran_D wrote:Contemplates? No.
Experiences, yes.
Goth? It's WV.. yeah, right. =p
From WV as well, Pain is realizing your related to people who believe Robert E. Lee is their lord and savior...

Posted: April 28, 2004, 4:34 pm
by Xzion
..tubing and your package getting stuck inside the cover of the tube as your wiping out becouse your dumbass friend accelerated the jet ski to full speed when he started it up :x :x :x

Posted: April 28, 2004, 4:44 pm
by Akaran_D
I had an arbitary initial placed in my name - stands for nothing - so that my initalized name would be JEBS.. Jeb S.. as in, Jeb Stewart.

Posted: April 28, 2004, 4:49 pm
by Fredonia Coldheart
Ennia wrote:Labor.
Without medications.
What she said!

Posted: April 28, 2004, 9:36 pm
by Rivera Bladestrike
Pain is drinking a whole bottle of Southern Comfort and waking up the next morning to hear stories about you doing naked snow angels, falling and hitting your head on the car, the doorknob, the concrete floor, the metal desk, the ping pong table, then punching one of your friends, noticing the numerous cuts and bruises, the enormous welt on your forehead, and the tiny hose thats going right into your penis as a cathader, then having it pulled out when you were conscious and having a terribly painful piss afterwards.

Posted: April 29, 2004, 12:53 am
by Dexail
Rivera Bladestrike wrote:Pain is drinking a whole bottle of Southern Comfort and waking up the next morning to hear stories about you doing naked snow angels, falling and hitting your head on the car, the doorknob, the concrete floor, the metal desk, the ping pong table, then punching one of your friends, noticing the numerous cuts and bruises, the enormous welt on your forehead, and the tiny hose thats going right into your penis as a cathader, then having it pulled out when you were conscious and having a terribly painful piss afterwards.
in other words.... Saturday night

Posted: April 29, 2004, 3:41 am
by Deneve
Akaran_D wrote:Pain is having your head shoved into a gurney by a pair of forcips being wielded by an enraged surgeon while you spurt blood a yard straight into the air from a ruptured stich over an artery in the back of your throat where your rotted tonsils used to be a week previous.
Guy I know also had this happen to him...LOTS of blood...

Posted: April 29, 2004, 3:44 am
by Rekaar.
pain is 60 years old and looking for a job

Posted: April 29, 2004, 9:20 am
by Akaran_D
Oh yea Denv. I burst stitches in the same place twice in one week after I had my tonsils out. Wasn't doing anything I wasn't supposed to, was quite, wasn't moving much.

First time it started as a slow leak and eventually clotted somthing that looked like a piece of liver about the size of a small tabletop pingpong ball.

The second time, it was.. SPURT.

Freaked out this poor little old lady waiting for surgery.. she had to have been at least 75, tiny thing, in OR prep, and here I come in with blood spraying out of my mouth, the surgeon cussing his head off because noone can find the anethelogist (sp?), I'm soaked in blood, blood is dripping off the doc's elbow, and even with the forcips, I'm still managing a good one to two feet spray.

/yeck

Posted: April 29, 2004, 9:33 am
by Cartalas
Rekaar. wrote:pain is 60 years old and looking for a job

WalMart is hiring Door greeters :lol: j/k

Posted: April 29, 2004, 10:28 am
by Dregor Thule
Akaran_D wrote:Oh yea Denv. I burst stitches in the same place twice in one week after I had my tonsils out. Wasn't doing anything I wasn't supposed to, was quite, wasn't moving much.

First time it started as a slow leak and eventually clotted somthing that looked like a piece of liver about the size of a small tabletop pingpong ball.

The second time, it was.. SPURT.

Freaked out this poor little old lady waiting for surgery.. she had to have been at least 75, tiny thing, in OR prep, and here I come in with blood spraying out of my mouth, the surgeon cussing his head off because noone can find the anethelogist (sp?), I'm soaked in blood, blood is dripping off the doc's elbow, and even with the forcips, I'm still managing a good one to two feet spray.

/yeck
You were like your own anime movie.

Posted: April 29, 2004, 9:52 pm
by Rivera Bladestrike
Dexail wrote:
Rivera Bladestrike wrote:Pain is drinking a whole bottle of Southern Comfort and waking up the next morning to hear stories about you doing naked snow angels, falling and hitting your head on the car, the doorknob, the concrete floor, the metal desk, the ping pong table, then punching one of your friends, noticing the numerous cuts and bruises, the enormous welt on your forehead, and the tiny hose thats going right into your penis as a cathader, then having it pulled out when you were conscious and having a terribly painful piss afterwards.
in other words.... Saturday night
For the most part, i almost died though, they said my BAC was like .4