The joy of growing older
Posted: December 1, 2003, 12:26 pm
At first I thought it was simply adult acne, you know, the once a year shanker that usually hit the day before 'picture day' when you were in high school.
Yesterday I discovered a knot under the left side of my chin the size of a Black-eyed pea. Painful to the touch filled with postulant goodness. So like any red-blooded he-man I gave it a good squeeze between my thumb and fore finger.
After I woke up from the pain induced fainting spell in a puddle of my own tears, I determined that this needed minor self surgery and I headed to the bathroom.
This blemish now had its own heartbeat and was in that awkward soft fleshy part of the chin/neck where no good grip could take place. I have not shaved in three days and began plucking out beard hairs in the immediate area of the blood mound.
Two hairs at a time, losing grip on some, pulling out three on other attempts .. then it happened. I grabbed what can only be described as rip cord of puss. I pulled out a hair the width of a No. 2 Pencil lead. The hair had as much meat on the end of it as a Pheasant's drumstick. This shaft of Keratin was embedded so fully that it made a sound That I can only liken to a horse pulling its hoof out of the mud. I'm sure it loosen a filling.
This hair was obviously connected to a nerve because the pressure and pain ceased immediately after it removal.
The hatch was opened and the Hoover Dam of yellow-green water began to freely flow. One further pinch soaked the toilet tissue I had covering the crater and the tears of joy/pain flowed freely.
I slathered the area with Neosporin and woke up to a minimal blemish and a happy day.
Thought I would share.
Yesterday I discovered a knot under the left side of my chin the size of a Black-eyed pea. Painful to the touch filled with postulant goodness. So like any red-blooded he-man I gave it a good squeeze between my thumb and fore finger.
After I woke up from the pain induced fainting spell in a puddle of my own tears, I determined that this needed minor self surgery and I headed to the bathroom.
This blemish now had its own heartbeat and was in that awkward soft fleshy part of the chin/neck where no good grip could take place. I have not shaved in three days and began plucking out beard hairs in the immediate area of the blood mound.
Two hairs at a time, losing grip on some, pulling out three on other attempts .. then it happened. I grabbed what can only be described as rip cord of puss. I pulled out a hair the width of a No. 2 Pencil lead. The hair had as much meat on the end of it as a Pheasant's drumstick. This shaft of Keratin was embedded so fully that it made a sound That I can only liken to a horse pulling its hoof out of the mud. I'm sure it loosen a filling.
This hair was obviously connected to a nerve because the pressure and pain ceased immediately after it removal.
The hatch was opened and the Hoover Dam of yellow-green water began to freely flow. One further pinch soaked the toilet tissue I had covering the crater and the tears of joy/pain flowed freely.
I slathered the area with Neosporin and woke up to a minimal blemish and a happy day.
Thought I would share.
