VeeshanVault

When your friend or just some person you just met suddenly starts passing out and going through that catatonic stage of when they're really drunk, do you ever feel the urge to do something funny to them? If so, what mischief have you committed?

I was with my friends last night and one of my friends passed out and I drew 2 big penises on his face, complete with veins, balls, and all. We dragged him to his bed and left his house... My trusty blue marker never fails.

TEA BAG

indeed tea bag or a good shaving

ah yes, especially someone with very long hair, just shave the top of their head.... That'd make them change their whole look... hahaha

Kiwi (shoe polish) + toothpaste = lots of fun ~

We took hot dogs and rubbed them all over and in this guys mouth and hands. He woke up with the nastiest breath, and VERY sticky.

Suuuuuure they were hotdogs.. Uh huh.

Siji wrote:Suuuuuure they were hotdogs.. Uh huh.

We made sure he was awake for the ass rodeo!

we used to do shaving cream on the hand and tickle their face. man that was funny.

masteen wrote:We took hot dogs and rubbed them all over and in this guys mouth and hands. He woke up with the nastiest breath, and VERY sticky.

pole

Took a Polaroid of a dick in his ear .. put it in his front pocket.

Smeared maple Syrup (not Golden Griddle) around his mouth for effect.

Funny, never stayed in touch with that guy.

Completely shave off 1 eyebrow, he is then forced to shave the other one when he wakes up hungover/sober.


P.S. They will not like you for awhile....

Nott a "passed out and did cruel things story", but nonetheless, here is the funniest thiing we ever did to a buddy...

After a long night of beer, tequila, and Cisco (yes, Cisco. This was quite back in the day) myself and about 5 of my closest buddies woke up to that ever so polite smell of "the day after".


Unwashed, unbrushed, and most of us suffering from a bad case of "Swamp Ass" from playing football in the rain the night before, we all sat down to try to fend off the innevitable all day hangover.

I fire up the stove and start scrambling eggs. Kevin couldn't handle the grease on his sourest of stomachs, and opted for a bowl of cheerios instead, thinking the "bland route" might be safer.

Cheerios + Bananas + Milk... the breakfast of champions, right?

Halfway through our breakfast, and mutterings of what exactly happened the night before, who screwed the fat chick, and other normal teenage boy stuff, Kevin jumps up to make a bolt for the bathroom. Cisco had a way of funneling straight to your bowels when enough was consumed.

About 10 minutes later, Kevin comes back to the table, with a relieved look on his face, sits back down, and continues on with his cheerios. By this time I'm washing the dishes and everyone else is gathering up their clothes, leftover beer, searching for car keys, etc.

Next to Kevin's bowl now is a polaroid picture, upside down. Kevin takes another hefty mouthfull of cheerios and turns the picture over to find a beautiful still-shot of his bowl of cheerios...

With 4 dicks dangling over the sides of the bowl and (for the lucky ones) into his cereal...

Kevin was a good sport about it, but I don't think he's ever eaten Cheerios again=(

Ducru

Ducru wrote:With 4 dicks dangling over the sides of the bowl and (for the lucky ones) into his cereal...

I'm not sure what's yuckier.. the guy who took a bite of peen-infused cheerios... or the 4 of you that snugged your dicks together for the shot. A bowl isn't exactly huge.. wasn't that a little close for comfort?

Sirensa wrote:

Ducru wrote:With 4 dicks dangling over the sides of the bowl and (for the lucky ones) into his cereal...

I'm not sure what's yuckier.. the guy who took a bite of peen-infused cheerios... or the 4 of you that snugged your dicks together for the shot. A bowl isn't exactly huge.. wasn't that a little close for comfort?

lol I was thinking the same thing.

it was probably semen in the cereal bowl, but the author didnt want to admit that all the guys milked each others cocks.

I've always tried to steer clear of practical jokes involving penises.

I've seen the teabag.

I've seen the eybrow shaved off gag.

I saw a guy get penises drawn all over his body when it was 90 degrees outside and he had community service outside the next morning bright and early.

I've seen the shaving cream and toothpaste gag where the guyw as comletely covered in the shit. Like 15 tubes of toothpaste used (was in the dorms) and some shaving cream.

Antiquing (sp?) Where you just put flour all over them.

Beer can pile up...where you bury the dude in beer cans and bottles until you no longer see the drunk guy passed out in the corner.

It's all standard party tricks....until you get 4 dicks in a cereal bowl. If I was Kevin...that kitchen would have been a multiple homicide investigation waiting to happen. Your lucky he was hung over.

Only somebody that is a total dumbass would shave a persons head who has long hair. This is way beyond a 'ha ha' joke and even if this was somebody you totally hated, that could be a real extreme to piss them off. If they were going to jail the next day maybe, otherwise you're gonna be spending a long time watching your back, and also...you need to grow the fuck up.

Melrin_Specclaster wrote:Only somebody that is a total dumbass would shave a persons head who has long hair. This is way beyond a 'ha ha' joke and even if this was somebody you totally hated, that could be a real extreme to piss them off. If they were going to jail the next day maybe, otherwise you're gonna be spending a long time watching your back, and also...you need to grow the fuck up.

You're exactly the type of nancy-boy who'd get shaved.

WTF is Teabag?

Skogen wrote:WTF is Teabag?

Dropping the sac in teh victims sleeping mouth.....

The mouth? Damn. Call me "old-fashioned" but in the circles I run in, we usually refrain from placing any appendages (but especially that one) near a victim's mouth. The forehead however, is fair game.

And if you're too chaste to drop your velvet purse in his mouth, rest it on the forehead, give him a brain.

Generally we just write on people. Take pictures and shit. Send them to their parents, and watch them laugh for hours. Stuff like that just to fuck with them.

Fuck the hand in warm water, just dump the warm water on their crotch. If you're sneaky about it, they wont realize and think they really pissed themselves and try to play it off or hide it.

Melrin_Specclaster wrote:Only somebody that is a total dumbass would shave a persons head who has long hair. This is way beyond a 'ha ha' joke and even if this was somebody you totally hated, that could be a real extreme to piss them off. If they were going to jail the next day maybe, otherwise you're gonna be spending a long time watching your back, and also...you need to grow the fuck up.

Wow, you're ass must be squeezing coal into diamonds....

A group of friends and I usually go out on the weekend and get smashed, the only things I can remember are:

Putting an entire tray of ice cubes down this kids pants (first one to always get sick/pass out). He had no clue. Woke up in the morning, did not say a word. When asked if he knew we did that...his comment was "Fuck, I thought I pissed myself!"

Covering this guys legs in duck tape. He did not like that in the morning.

And I got a *cough* egg smashed on my head

Those are good ideas Nilaman... hehe, ice cubes down the pants is funny haha. or shave one of his legs... haha duct tape on leg hair

Anuin wrote:Fuck the hand in warm water

Warm . . . because it's a more comfortable screw?

of course, how do you do it?

The funniest drunk story I have ever heard was from a guy I used to work with.

Him and his buddies went out and got smashed. They had this kid with them that was someone they met that night. They all went back to the house when the bars closed and keep drinking. Well the poor kid passed out drunk on the floor. Shortly after that they started packing his ass with vasoline then pulled his pants back up. That was only the start then they decided kicking this poor kid in the ass several times would give that extra effect in the mourning when he woke. They drug him to a bed layed him face down then pulled his pants back down around his ankles.

The next afternoon when they all started to come back to life they made some food. Soon after they started eating the kid comes strolling out of the bedroom with this face on him like he was terrified of what went on last night. He ended up leaving not knowing what really happened untill a few days later.

They way my buddy tells this story is fucking hilarious. Imagine this story told by a drunk Irish guy. It might just be the accent that makes it funny but I laughed every single time he told it.

Cover the toilet with saran wrap then leave the seat down

Rivera, Masteen- A practical joke is supposed to have no lasting effects besides possibly embarrassment, and should be something even the victim can find funny in a few days. Long hair can take literally years to grow depending on the length and involve a considerable amount of time on maintenance. Years. Fucking with it in a way that destroys years of work is rather beyond a practical joke. Shall I come over and erase your phd thesis for you? After all, you can regather all the data and rewrite it, it'll only take you some time. Sound funny still? (and actually the time spent drying and maintaining long hair over 2-3 years can be close to comparable in fact...) You seem to be unclear on the concept of a joke. There's always some shmuck who takes things too far.

*Hugs*
Varia

I was just talking shit. Anything that can't be physically fixed in around a month is too much. While I haven't kept my hair long since the 80's, I had BIG hair back then, and even just to get long enough and feathered was a task.

As an aside, I wore a wig all night tonight, and I really have a new appreciation for all the girls out there with the goregous flowing locks. All that hair is fucking HOT, it gets into your drinks, it gets in your mouth just breathing, much less kissing. Getting man-juice outta it must be a bitch!!!

was never really into the penis jokes, and good thing none of my friends are,
its just really not cool =/
other lighter shit, that doesnt involve shaving is usually fun though

Pilsburry wrote:It's all standard party tricks....until you get 4 dicks in a cereal bowl.

This made me laugh vary much this morning.

All this talk about ass and wackiness reminded me of one of my favoritre travel tips when you travel with buddies. It is especially important if you are trying to squeeze 5 or 6 guys into one hotel room.

Upon entering the room, pick the bed and spot you feel you MUST have and immediately sprint to said spot. Drop the pants and rub bare ass on the sheets of the spot you want and for good measure, you can rub your sack near the pillow area. I can guarantee you that no one will even think about trying to pry that spot from you. I have avoided sleeping on the floor since 1994 with these methods.

when pattying at my buddies lake house we carried the first to pass out down to the nearest boat dock. striped him of all his clothing and put hunny on his thumg so he would suck on it in his sleep.. he wasnt happy with us the next morning

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:Upon entering the room, pick the bed and spot you feel you MUST have and immediately sprint to said spot. Drop the pants and rub bare ass on the sheets of the spot you want and for good measure, you can rub your sack near the pillow area. I can guarantee you that no one will even think about trying to pry that spot from you. I have avoided sleeping on the floor since 1994 with these methods.

Christ, is this what men do when they're alone?!?!

No longer will I feel bad about being excluded.

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:
Upon entering the room, pick the bed and spot you feel you MUST have and immediately sprint to said spot. Drop the pants and rub bare ass on the sheets of the spot you want and for good measure, you can rub your sack near the pillow area. I can guarantee you that no one will even think about trying to pry that spot from you. I have avoided sleeping on the floor since 1994 with these methods.


Christ, is this what men do when they're alone?!?!

No longer will I feel bad about being excluded.

Nah that's just Kilmoll. Most of us don't prefer to sleep in a patch of our own arse-stink.

Mort wrote:

Skogen wrote:WTF is Teabag?

Dropping the sac in teh victims sleeping mouth.....

Pleae don't tell me people actually do this.

With friends like this, who neds an enema?

Rivera Bladestrike wrote:

Melrin_Specclaster wrote:Only somebody that is a total dumbass would shave a persons head who has long hair. This is way beyond a 'ha ha' joke and even if this was somebody you totally hated, that could be a real extreme to piss them off. If they were going to jail the next day maybe, otherwise you're gonna be spending a long time watching your back, and also...you need to grow the fuck up.

Wow, you're ass must be squeezing coal into diamonds....

Or you really do need to grow up, but just are too young or dumb to know it.

masteen wrote:I was just talking shit. Anything that can't be physically fixed in around a month is too much. While I haven't kept my hair long since the 80's, I had BIG hair back then, and even just to get long enough and feathered was a task.

As an aside, I wore a wig all night tonight, and I really have a new appreciation for all the girls out there with the goregous flowing locks. All that hair is fucking HOT, it gets into your drinks, it gets in your mouth just breathing, much less kissing. Getting man-juice outta it must be a bitch!!!

I'd give all the VV's I got to see a pic of Masteen's big 80's hair.

The only teabags I have seen preformed would not include actual insertion of the sac into the victims mouth. Sometimes it would be close...maybe even touch the lips. But not inside the mouth.

I have never been directly involved in a teabag incident. The most involvement I have had is not stopping a teabagging that occured in my home. But I didn't like the victim so I got some measure of happiness from it.

Teabag on forehead, ass near mouth. I have seen that one done many the times.

A funny non cruel joke I pulled once goes like this. I came home one morning to find my roommate passed out on the couch in a drunken stupor. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed EVERYTHING out of the pantry and cupboards and put them on the coffee table. Somehow we had motor oil in there, no fucking clue. Anyway he woke up hurting a few hours later. He opened his eyes to the coffee table and muttered, what the fuck did I do with the motor oil?

He still to this day is none the wiser about that incident.

The following story has all the elements of an urban myth, but I don't think even Snopes is going to touch it.. made me laugh however and seems to fit with penii in cereal stories.

A man, is told by his flatmate to remove himself from the premises, which he does, however he leaves the following note:

"... I've left you 7 mystery turds around the house."

After reading this the flatmate goes on a turd hunt, finding pieces of shit around the house in various hiding places; behind the TV, in a light fixture etc. However, he can only find 6 pieces after hours of searching and decides that there is no 7th and it was just a ploy to drive him insane.

Time passes.

Settling down to breakfast one morning, our victim scrapes his knife across the margarine to spread his toast... and strikes brown...

<insert horror>

Skogen wrote:I'd give all the VV's I got to see a pic of Masteen's big 80's hair.

You'll get to see much more as soon as my bastard friend uploads the pics from the party we went to last night. All us guys got our mangina on, and it was vary hawt. I'll be sure to scan a couple old high school pics, just for you, Skogen.

But there is still 10 days to Halloween Masteen....

ingredients: banana, condom, lube, the smallest paper bill currency in your country, piece of paper and pen, kick the bum for effect, some sort of material to pose as cum.

situation: friend passed out hard.

combined: insert banana in condom, lube it up and gently ease it into friend's ass, pull banana whilst leaving condom still in friends' ass and add the posing cum material, write on paper "thanks for the night hun, i came first so i owe you the dollar" plus added effects like hearts etc., roll paper up along with dollar bill. stuff in inserted condom. kick ass for effect. let cook for 4 hours.

........

another one was also fun, a guy that was always getting PISS drunk and passing out in ppl's appartments till next morning was gonna get a lesson in drinking manners. went like so, one brave soul took a dump where the poo was then scooped up and inserted into victim's pants, he then rolled a bit during the night etc and woke up the next morning with a very stern look on his face, after having gone to the bathroom of course and helping himself to his buddys clothes, guys at the place asked him what was wrong. and he said

"well i got drunk like usual last night, and had a little accident"
*giggles around room*
"i sorta made a mess in my pants, basically soiled myself"
*laughter going a bit loud*
"one thing though, not understanding how all the shit and stuff got on the outside of my underwear"
*room exploded*

Rasspotari wrote:ingredients: banana, condom, lube, the smallest paper bill currency in your country, piece of paper and pen, kick the bum for effect, some sort of material to pose as cum.

situation: friend passed out hard.

combined: insert banana in condom, lube it up and gently ease it into friend's ass, pull banana whilst leaving condom still in friends' ass and add the posing cum material, write on paper "thanks for the night hun, i came first so i owe you the dollar" plus added effects like hearts etc., roll paper up along with dollar bill. stuff in inserted condom. kick ass for effect. let cook for 4 hours.

there would be fucking murders