VeeshanVault

A couple friends and I were discussing funny pick up lines, and we got a ton of good laughs...

So what are your favorite, good or bad pick-up lines?

Hey baby, do you clean your pants with Windex?

Cause I can see myself in them.

You have to know Santa Cruz to truely appreciate this. Front Street Pub, downtown SC, sorta cute dirty hippy chick, older leech

"So, you live indoors?"

Hey, do you wanna go play Pearl Harbor?

What's Pearl Harbor?

It's where I sit in a chair and you blow the shit out of me.

Zamtuk wrote:Hey, do you wanna go play Pearl Harbor?

What's Pearl Harbor?

It's where I sit in a chair and you blow the shit out of me.

hahhaha

If you ever want to see your kids again, you'll do what I want.

Zamtuk wrote:Hey, do you wanna go play Pearl Harbor?

What's Pearl Harbor?

It's where I sit in a chair and you blow the shit out of me.

lmao fuckin priceless

"Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room."

"Mind if I stand here until it's safe where I farted?"

Wanna go out in my boat for some offshore drilling?

I have a 9 inch penis.

Hi, did you know I can lick my eyebrows?

You might as well do the things I am going to tell everyone else we did.

Is the answer to "Will you sleep with me?" the same as the answer to this question?

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" (Women love compliments)

Or you lick your finger and touch thier shoulder then say..
"Hey baby, how about me and you get out of these wet clothes"

"My dick may not be very big, but I have a tongue like a german shepherd."

worst one used on me:

"Hey baby, wanna got 50/50 on a rape charge?"

Hey Baby, Want to help me put the pimp back in my limp?

While it's really lame now, my favorite that I heard for the first time in high school was:


"That shirt is very becoming on you"

"Thanks"

"Of course, if I were on you I'd be coming too"



I have another that I just heard recently that I'll add, when I remember

"Do you have any Irish in you?"

"no"

"Do you want to?"

(being that I'm part irish, if your italian or german, use that...)

Hey baby, do you clean your pants with Windex?

You look like the sort of dumb bitch that would do a stupid thing like that.

there's really no topping the pearl harbor one. =p

My face is leaving in 5 minutes.
Be on it.

HIM: Hey baby you look like you have a little greek in you.
ME: No.
HIM: Well would you like some?
ME: OH SNAP!

1: Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Guinivere?

2: Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When you fell from heaven?

Me: i am sorry to break this to you, but i am afraid your father was a thief.

Her: Wtf? (or something to that effect)

Me: He stole 2 stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

*Check tag on shirt*

Oh, I thought it said made in heaven.

giggety-giggety

Were your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

Man: Wanna go out for a pizza, then fuck?

Woman: WHAT?!? No.

Man: What's wrong, you dont like pizza?
________________________________________________________

OR, If the penis size topic get's brought up, there is only 1 answer.....

"It's not very big around, but it's short"

If I told you that you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

ME: Hey baby, where have you been all my life?
HER: Hiding from you.
ME: OH SNAP!

Hi, my name is Pilsbury



I kid

Pherr the Dorf wrote:You have to know Santa Cruz to truely appreciate this. Front Street Pub, downtown SC, sorta cute dirty hippy chick, older leech

"So, you live indoors?"

lmao!!

I am sure you know about that community of people the live up behind UCSC in the trees. Yes, up in the trees. Sort of wood-elf style.

"Come on babe, I'm small, I got no stamina..I'll be in and out real fast and you'll hardly feel a thing"

This is not really a pick-up line, more like a pick-up action. Either way, I TOTALLY fell for it....no I'm not blonde.

This guy and I had been flirting back and forth at a party. All of a sudden, he places his hand over his eye and he's saying, "ack! something got in my eye!" So I get really close to him saying, "are you ok?" Then he opens his eye up slowly and asks if I can get a closer look to see if I can see anything there. So I move in closer and WHAM! He lays a kiss on me. I kissed him back kind of giggling about it. How naive I was at 18!

How'd you like to be the first human sock puppet?

Wtf chid lmao

if we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

Wanna help me practice my math?

We go back to my apartment subtract our clothes, add a bed, divide your legs and start to multiply.

This is not really a pick-up line, more like a pick-up action. Either way, I TOTALLY fell for it....no I'm not blonde.

This guy and I had been flirting back and forth at a party. All of a sudden, he places his hand over his eye and he's saying, "ack! something got in my eye!" So I get really close to him saying, "are you ok?" Then he opens his eye up slowly and asks if I can get a closer look to see if I can see anything there. So I move in closer and WHAM! He lays a kiss on me. I kissed him back kind of giggling about it. How naive I was at 18!

Ack .. Something got on my zipper ...

I think I found the worst pickup lines.

Some of my favorites include:

inlovewithgod.com wrote:honesty is like a kiss on the lips...and baby i never lie (Proverbs 24:26 "He who gives a right answer kisses the lips. ")

hello, will you be my shulamite?

God was showing off when he made you.

before tonight, i never believed in predestination.

Xyphir wrote:If I told you that you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

buh-doom-tish!

hehe, punnery owns!

Me: Excuse me miss, do you know why women prefer bald me?

Her: No why?

Me: They have a place to put their gum on the way down

Her: Slap!

First heard this at freshman orientation before adventuring off on the fun that is college. My freshman advisor told me this one before they had some stupid freshman social thing.

Excuse me miss, is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I'd really like to tap that ass.

LOL Tru

If i was a cup of coffee, would you be my sugar?

Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to leave and come back?

How do you like your eggs - poached, scrambled or fertilized?

That was a dubious post....

Guy: Want a drink?
Girl: Sure
Guy: Ok. Kneel down and let me open up the tap.

guy: (walks up to girl) hey baby, wanna go back to my place and fuck?

girl: (slaps guy) fuck off, jerk

guy: (yelling after girl who is walking away) so i guess a blowjob is out of the question?

Are your legs tired? You have been running through my mind all night.

Sorry, but I could not help notice me noticing you.

How many drinks do I have to feed you before you go home with me?

Hot Damn, Slippery Nipple...no, they are drinks

You ever fucked a stranger? Hi, my name is ________

Is your shirt felt? (rub hand on breasts at this point)