VeeshanVault

Inspired by the 24 thread, spoil any movie TV show, etc in this thread!

Soylent green is really people!

Tony Soprano and Carmella Soprano are getting divorced!!

Mullder IS an alien!

Tyler is just a figment of the Narrarator's imagination!

Edited for correctness!

marla wasn't.

In the matrix, there was really 6 matrix's and 6 Zions (Xions?) and also 6 neos, but every time he made it to the person who created the matrix, they ended up destroying the matrix and he was forced to select people to restart Zion up again. Cept in the new matrix this neo is suppose to be special, he not only has powers IN the matrix, but now he has powers OUT of the matrix, he can stop machines outside of the matrix and stuff like that!

Bruce Willis is a ghost!!1

Captain Miller dies at the end!

Aranuil wrote:Captain Miller dies at the end!

OMFG! NOOOOOOOOO!

The chick robot in T3 is really a body holding the sentient mainframe called Skynet

The third suitor is really T.S.!

Jean Grey dies in X2.

Zamtuk wrote:Jean Grey dies in X2.

Spoiler: But not really!

She will in the next one!!

Darth Vader is really Luke's father!

In Signs, there is a god!!1!

The aliens can be killed with water...and look really dorky.

rambo beats the communist horde.

edit: 3 times!!

Roger 'Verbal' Kint is really Kaizer Soze!

Dorothy uses her shoes to get home!

Frodo doesn't want to throw the ring away...

To quote Tolkien:

"No, Frodo 'failed'. It is possible that once the ring was destroyed he had little recollection of the last scene. But on must face the fact: the power of Evil in the world is not finally resistible by incarnate creatures, however 'good'; and the Writer of the Story is not one of us."

Doofy did it!

Willem DaFoe's character in Boon Dock Saints in gay and loves teh cock!

Mickey (see left) has been betting on himself!

The plane of time isn't finished... bwahahah!

sorry.

Tracy's head is in the box!

Edit: Rofl Drust =P

Aranuil is my hero

Bill and Ted save their girlfriends from the futuristic robot-copies of themselves at a huge concert and all the audience thinks it's part of the show. Go Bill and Ted, they need to make another movie =p

Goose's head hits the canopy while ejecting, and he dies.

The Titanic sinks. Darth Vader is Luke's father. The woman in the "Crying Game" is really a man. Ole Yeller dies. In "Murder on the Orient Express" they all did it. Captain Kirk isn't really dead, he's in the Nexus; but then he dies for real later. On July 4th, we killed all the aliens by giving them a computer virus which took down their shields. "Bob" is in Leland Palmer. Verbal is Kaiser Soze. The North wins. The Nazi's lose. Tom Cruise screws over the firm and gets away. Jeff Bridges did kill his wife in "Jagged Edge". Galron is a shapeshifter imposter. Fortran really is dead. Harrison Ford always, always saves the day (except in "What lies beneath" where he is a right bastard). In "Crimson Tide", Denzel Washington is right. Jim Phelps is the one who betrays the Impossible Mission team. All of the "Reservoir Dogs" die. Robert Redford hits a game-winning homer at the end of "The Natural". James Bond gets the girl. Lestat isn't really dead. Leia is Luke's sister. Henry V wins, but barely. Cousin Vinny gets the "two yutes" off, but only after Marisa Tomei's expert testimony. Richard Gere ends up with the slut in "Pretty Woman". The butler did it. Spock dies, then comes back to life on a planet where Kirk's son gets killed, and proceeds to help save the whales and earth by travelling back and forth in time in a Klingon ship, but doesn't get demoted for stealing the Enterprise because he wasn't there, he was dead. ET goes home. In "Blade Runner" Rachael is a replicant -- some think that Deckard may be too. Mel Gibson dies at the end of "Braveheart", but the future queen is pregnant with his kid. Sean Penn did do it in "Dead Man Walking". The Wizard of Oz is really a short, fat, bald man. Nicolas Cage dies at the end of "Leaving Las Vegas". The townsfolk gather money for the Bailey Savings and Loan and Clarence gets his wings.In "Field of Dreams", "He" is Costner's father. Mr. Holland's former students play his opus in the end -- the redhead becomes governor. The Apollo 13 crew makes it back safely. Barnabus is a vampire. Al Pacino shoots and kills Robert DeNiro. The colonel is the one who is gay and ends up shooting Kevin Spacey. In "Speed" there is a videocamera on the bus and a hole under the trash can. OJ did it. Harry marries Sally. To get to the other side. The prisoner is Pip's benefactor. Romeo and Juliet kill themselves. Either a newspaper or a half-eaten zebra. Sue Ellen's sister shot J.R. Maggie shot Mr. Burns (not on purpose). Bobby's death was just a dream (Pam's). The HAL9000 computer goes homicidal, but it isn't his fault. There is always someone in the back seat. Jack gets old and dies. In "Terms of Endearment" Debra Winger gets cancer and dies. Bill Clinton wears briefs. Rosebud is the sled.

And finally: Colonel Mustard. In the billiards room. With the lead piping.

Inside sources whom have seen the completed Matrix Revolutions confirmed Morpheus dies in the end of 3.

No I am not kidding.

You ruined this thread Anders! Sleep damnit!

Col. Mustard with the Revolver in the Study

Asheran Mojomaster wrote:In the matrix, there was really 6 matrix's and 6 Zions (Xions?) and also 6 neos, but every time he made it to the person who created the matrix, they ended up destroying the matrix and he was forced to select people to restart Zion up again. Cept in the new matrix this neo is suppose to be special, he not only has powers IN the matrix, but now he has powers OUT of the matrix, he can stop machines outside of the matrix and stuff like that!

What makes you think he's not in a different matrix?

Midnyte_Ragebringer wrote:

Asheran Mojomaster wrote:In the matrix, there was really 6 matrix's and 6 Zions (Xions?) and also 6 neos, but every time he made it to the person who created the matrix, they ended up destroying the matrix and he was forced to select people to restart Zion up again. Cept in the new matrix this neo is suppose to be special, he not only has powers IN the matrix, but now he has powers OUT of the matrix, he can stop machines outside of the matrix and stuff like that!

What makes you think he's not in a different matrix?

because he's the architect, who isn't sure of the spelling of Zion.

It was all a dream.

Even though Simba can talk, he's just a lion

Planet of the Apes is really earth in the distant future.

42.

In the end of Boogie Nights, I was the body double for Mark Wahlberg. I appologize in advance for the shot of my wang. I had just gotten out of a cold shower and it was exceptionally chilly in the studio that day. However, they needed the shot, so I had to go with it.

CONVERSATION BETWEEN NEO AND ARCHITECT


Architect: hello Neo.

Neo: Who are you?

Architect: I am the Architect. I created the Matrix I've been waiting for you.
You have many questions, and though the process has altered your consciousness you remain irrevocably human ergo some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not.
Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realise it is also the most irrelevant.

Neo: Why am I here?

Architect: Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the matrix. you are the eventuallity of an anomaly which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden asciduously avoided it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you inexorably....here

Neo: You haven't answered my question.

Architect: Quite right. Interesting...that was quicker than the others.

(TV "Neo"s:
Others [how many others?] what others? answer my question!)

Architect: The matrix is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the 6th version.

(Tv Neos:
5 ones before me? 4...3..2.. what are you talking about? There are only 2 possible explanations, either no one told me....)
Neo: ...or no one knows.

Architect: Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly is systemic--creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.

(Tv Neos:
You can't contol me!
I'm gonna smash the wall
I'll fukkin kill you!
etc..)

Neo: Choice. The problem is choice.

Cut to Trinity vs Agent.

Architect: The first Matrix I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art...flawless, sublime. And triumphed equally only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being. Thus. I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another--An intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the matrix, she would undoubtedly be its Mother.

Neo: The Oracle.

Architect: Please. As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99% of all test subjects accepted the program, as long as they were given a choice...even if they were only awar e of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo those that refused the program, while a minority, if unchecked would constitute an escalating probablility of disaster.

Neo: This is about Zion.

Architect: You are here because Zion is about to be destroyed--its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existance eradicated.

Neo: Bullshit
(TV Neos:
Bullshit!
Bullshit!
Bullshit!)

Architect: Denial is the most predictable of all human responses, but rest assured...this will be the 6th time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.


Cut to Trinity vs Agent

Architect: The function of the One is now to return to the Source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you cary, reinserting the prime program. After which, you will be required to selevt from the matrix 23 individuals--16 females, 7 male--to rebuild Zion. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash, killing everyone connected to the Matrix, which coupled with the extermination of Zion will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race.

Neo: You won't let it happen. You can't. You need human beings to survive.

Architect: There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility of the death of every human being on this world.
It is interesting reading your reactions. Your 5 predecessors were, by design, based on a similar predication--a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the One. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific--vis a vie..love.

Neo: Trinity.

Architect: Appropos, she entered the matrix to save your life, at the cost of her own.

Neo: No...

Architect: Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning and end.
There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the Source, and the salvation of Zion. The door to your left leads back to the matrix, to her and to the end of your Species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you are going to do, don't we? Already, I can see the chain-reaction--the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason--an emotion that is already blinding you from the simple and obvious truth...she is going to die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Architect: Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.

Neo: If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet again.

Architect: We won't.

Neo exits out of the left door.

Through that whole scene it made me wonder: How many takes did he have to go through to get all of those words right.

here is a problem with the fact that this is the 6th Neo and the 6th Zion, etc.


Each of those (Neo, Trinity, Morpheus, all the people in Zion) are not programs, they are physical people, who left the machinery of the Matrix.

If they are destroyed. They are destroyed for real. Even if the Matrix is "reloaded", those physical bodies are not all of a sudden magically plugged back into the Matrix.

Those people are dead and gone and they are never coming back.

So yeah a new Neo and Zion and everything can arise, but every time they would be different people, with different neuroarchitectures, and therefore they would end up producing different results.

The writers tried to get all deep and shit and confused themselves. The characters which are represented purely by computer programs (Architect, Frenchie, ORacle, Smith) can be reloaded. The characters who are digital projections of analog activity inside a human brain (Trinity, Neo, Morpheus) cannot be reloaded.

another thing, if he can destroy the Matrix, why does he have to go back in and save Trinity?

I mean the matrix turns off and she is still plugged into a chair in the ship.

Maybe she needs the shock paddles or whatever, but seems like she has a decent chance of survival. I mean he was ready to die himself anyways if being in the matrix when it shuts off is fatal. anyways, cool movie, but writers trying to dogpaddle in water too deep for them is lame.

OMG I can't read this thread

I think what they were saying is that a "Neo" is unavoidable due to the inherant instability of plugging our analog minds into a digital creation. Some human brains will always eventually detect the falsness of the Matrix, and a rebellion will ensue. The whole Zion project is designed to allow the machines to control the instability and ensure their survival.

The vault of the Bellagio is a mock-up!

As Homer said "The chick in 'The Crying Game' is really a guy!"

Drolgin answered everything, damned danish show off...now all thats left is for him so spout the meaning pf life and we can all die

Wulfran wrote:Drolgin answered everything, damned danish show off...now all thats left is for him so spout the meaning pf life and we can all die

masteen wrote:42.

masteen wrote:I think what they were saying is that a "Neo" is unavoidable due to the inherant instability of plugging our analog minds into a digital creation. Some human brains will always eventually detect the falsness of the Matrix, and a rebellion will ensue. The whole Zion project is designed to allow the machines to control the instability and ensure their survival.

sure Neo is unavoidable, but a genetic clone to Keanu Reeves is unavoidable 6 times?

that is what i'm saying doesnt make sense.

all the people genetically identical who keep popping up and then doing the exact same thing?

all the Architect would have to do would be to genetically filter new babies as they are plugged in to the machinery (cause i assume they are cloned etc)

i find it hard to believe the machines would not function properly without certain personality types plugged into the matrix. the machines dont need the matrix, the humans do. ALl they need out of the humans is their biolectricity.

ALl they need out of the humans is their biolectricity.

I would say the machines rely upon human creativity, emotion, and imagination to further the evolution of themselves. The machines have AI and they are "alive", however, that is as far as it goes. They are blank slates. Remember in the first Matrix when Agent Smith takes off his sun glasses and has a little chat with Morph about how much he hates humans and being in the Matrix? He is the only agent to express anything remotely resembling emotion. When the other agents walked in on him, Smith is actually shocked/embarrassed to have been caught. That was already showing that Smith was somehow different. Humans are the catalyst for Agent Smith, the Oracle, and probably every other program that has evolved beyond it's basic function. The machines require humans to evolve beyond being a mere machines. It's the difference between being alive or simply "being".

In that sense, the Matrix is retelling the story of Dark City almost to the letter. The movies tell the exact same stories in different ways.