Okay Bubba, Battlefield Earth = Ass

Fenna · Post by **Fenna** » August 2, 2002, 2:42 pm

I had to bring this one here. Bubba Grizz and I have had this debate for a long time. The movie Battlefield Earth was so much crap that it has become the benchmark for ASS in movies that my friends and I use. It was one of those movies that leaves you feeling like less of a person for having watched it.

But Bubba liked it. And so does Jice, ferchristsakes.

I just had to make my scorn of this movie public.

Searyx · Post by **Searyx** » August 2, 2002, 2:44 pm

L. Ron Hubbard is my GOD!!!!11!!

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » August 2, 2002, 2:50 pm

it is the worst movie i can think of.

the new movie with Eminem looks like it should be worse, but Battlefield Earth is absolutely horrible with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Lexien · Post by **Lexien** » August 2, 2002, 2:51 pm

Thanks for the heads up !

I'm glad i didnt watch it. Was'ent that the film with John Travolta being the bad guy?

Physcodr00d · Post by **Physcodr00d** » August 2, 2002, 2:54 pm

fenna = JACKASS

1st post i am god

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » August 2, 2002, 3:09 pm

Isn't Battlefield earth like a novel that started a cult or something?

Fenna · Post by **Fenna** » August 2, 2002, 3:10 pm

As I understand it, the book was really good. I never read it, so I wouldn't know for sure. But the movie...Gods, it was crap. Yes, John Travolta was the villain, and I believe his connection to Scientology (L. Ron Hubbard) was involved in him being casted for this movie.

The discussion of Scientology is one worth it's own thread though, hehe.

Homercles · Post by **Homercles** » August 2, 2002, 3:11 pm

I nearly walked out of the theater during that piece of crap. Absolutely pathetic.
Theres gotta be a better ASS movie though. I'll have to ponder on the subject to come up with a worse movie.

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » August 2, 2002, 3:13 pm

If you're hunting the ultimate bad movie, might I suggest you look at the movies that Mystery Science Theater 3000 pokes fun at?

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » August 2, 2002, 3:14 pm

For example, that program made fun of a movie that was all about a 14 year old boy and his Heroic monitoring of the emergency CB radio channels.

It was like the Dukes of Hazard but with no car chases.

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » August 2, 2002, 3:15 pm

Another movie that mystery science theater poked fun at was a 70s movie with brooke shields that followed her as she quested to be the ultimate pinball player.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » August 2, 2002, 3:16 pm

"Anal Manor" is possibly one of the finest ASS movies ever made. "In thru the Out Door" is also another ASS classic.

Fenna · Post by **Fenna** » August 2, 2002, 3:27 pm

MST movies have redeeming value though--they're bad in a cheesy, very campy way. And sometimes when a movie is dated (like from the 80's) just the clothing and hair and expressions alone can be interesting enough to have merit.

But Battlefield Earth had none of that. All it did was take, and gave nothing in return. But there must be worse movies out there.

I really hated "Sphere." Loved the book, hated the movie.

Ajran · Post by **Ajran** » August 2, 2002, 3:31 pm

Most of the time i find that if i have read the book first.. i hate the movie.. The books tend to put pictures in your head about how things should be and how things should look.. inevitably the movie will in no way compare to your imagination.. it can't..

-Ajran

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » August 2, 2002, 3:32 pm

OK Fenna you bastard.
First off, if you haven't read the book, then you are basing your opinion on the merits of the movie alone. That's not a bad thing but you won't be able to appreciate the massive problems they must have faced trying to turn this book into a movie.

The book is close to 1000 pages and for any film company to try and take that entire book and pack it into a 2 hour movie they are going to have to cut a large portion out. Ideally they should have made the movie into a trilogy or hell even a mini series on the SciFi channel.

The reason I liked the movie was because it reminded me of how great the book was. I never said that I loved the movie, only liked it. I don't hate it because I can appreciate the scope.

The book related to the Scientology bullshit is Dyanetics or something like that. I highly recommend reading Battlefield Earth though.

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » August 2, 2002, 3:36 pm

Does this L Ron fella dump his scientology into the battlefield earth books? Or are they totally unrelated?

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » August 2, 2002, 3:38 pm

You know like what if CS Lewis wrote an action thriller, somewhere along the line he'd dump in some christian type verbage.

does L Ron do this with BE?

Post by **Xouqoa** » August 2, 2002, 3:42 pm

Battlefield Earth the Book: Excellent
Battlefield Earth the Movie: Terrible

Biggest movie of suck ever: Cabin Boy

Fenna · Post by **Fenna** » August 2, 2002, 3:43 pm

That's a good question, Adex. I wonder about that myself. I do know that my buddy researched Scientology at fair length out of morbid curiosity, and it's some pretty intense stuff. It's almost like something out of a science fiction novel in itself. Maybe there's an obvious connection there, like DUH, Hubbard wrote Sci-Fi so his religion would be based on it.

I heard a couple years back, on an episode of "To the Best of Our Knowledge," an interview with a man that had paid to make it through the highest echelons of the Scientology religion. Basically you serve time and pay huge amounts of cash to make it through the levels, until you enter the hightest level and are given the "divine knowledge."

This guy escaped the religion and published what he knew of the church. Apparently the "final knowlege" is that we are children of an alien race, and they will be returning to Earth at some point to rescue only the followers of the religion.

Oh and Bubba, you know I'm just giving you shit. But the movie was still ass!

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » August 2, 2002, 3:44 pm

Actually I don't think he does. I never tried to understand the Scientology stuff so I really am not sure if that is in this book. I don't think so though because nothing sounded like preaching to me. It's just a great Sci Fi book. He also had another sci fi series that was about 12 books long. I read the first 7 before it started taking an stupid turn. The first 7 books were very much like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. At least in it's style.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » August 2, 2002, 3:44 pm

Yeah, the Dianetics crap creeps in a bit, especially during the part where the hero frees himself from servitude to the alien overlords. It's still a damn fine book.

Xyphir · Post by **Xyphir** » August 2, 2002, 3:49 pm

Worst Movie Ever: Freddie Got Fingered!

Hands Down.

Aabidano · Post by **Aabidano** » August 2, 2002, 3:51 pm

It was just a horrible, lame movie. The book sucked donkey nuts too, it was his first sc-fi book in 30(?) years.

The most horrid movie ever made had to be:

Plan 9 from Outer Space

If you've never seen it, you really need to. It's hilarious, but was meant to be a serious sci-fi movie.

Amazon Queens from the Avacado Jungle is up there too.

Jice Virago · Post by **Jice Virago** » August 2, 2002, 4:05 pm

But after reading the book, it did have entertaining aspects. I wouldnt pay money to see it in a theatre, but it was ok as background chaffe while playing EQ. And I can easily name ten movies that were worse right off the cuff:

1) Congo
2) From Hell
3) Ishtar
4) Spice World
5) The Boy with Green Hair
6) Water World
7) Street Fighter
8) Santa Clause vs The Martians (Zsa Zsa Gabore was in this masterpiece)
9) Batman and Robin (OMFG was this bad)
10) Leonard Part 6 (Jesus Christ I cant believe that they could make a movie this bad)

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » August 2, 2002, 4:05 pm

Actually the movie that I would love to find in it's uncensored form would be...The Perils of Gwendolyn in the Land of Yik Yak. Mmmmm Tawny Kitane.

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » August 2, 2002, 4:12 pm

Don't forget Wing Commander the movie.

At the time it went to theatres people were only paying to watch it so that could see the new Star Wars trailer and then promptly leaving.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » August 2, 2002, 4:13 pm

Actually the truth about $cientology is worse than anyone has mentioned.

It is a Scam, A Cult, and supporters of it are nutcases.

http://www.xenu.net has the full info

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » August 2, 2002, 4:37 pm

thanks Kylere, i was actually looking for this quote that your link showed me.

L. Ron Hubbard wrote:"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion"

i wouldnt give that guy's estate a nickel personally, even if the books/movies are good (and the movie is pure shit).

Ogbar · Post by **Ogbar** » August 2, 2002, 4:39 pm

Worst movie I ever saw in the theatre was .... "Howard the Duck". I have never walked out on a movie, but I came so close with this piece of crap.

I have seen bits and pieces of BE on HBO. It seems quite lame, even watching it on cable ... and just about any movie is watchable on cable.

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » August 2, 2002, 4:56 pm

Damn, I like some of the movies on Jice's list too. I guess my standards are a bit lower or maybe it's easier for me to find the good in things. I mean hell, if I can like Jice and Fenna, then liking these movies isn't that much of a stretch.

The only movie I about walked out on was Natural Born Killers.

Momopi · Post by **Momopi** » August 2, 2002, 5:30 pm

actually from hell wasnt that bad. the worst movie i have seen is one of these....either mosquito coast,battlefield earth or jawbreakers( i think thats the name)

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » August 2, 2002, 6:31 pm

Is Mosquito Coast the one where the inventor goes to the brazian rainforest and makes a 5 story ice machine then gets chased off by bandits?

Homercles · Post by **Homercles** » August 2, 2002, 6:45 pm

Yes Adex. Harrison Ford. He makes Ice from fire. Introduces it to the natives. then the bandits cause things to go to hell.

Id have to include Bram Stokers Dracula, and Batman as complete ASS movies.

Momopi · Post by **Momopi** » August 2, 2002, 6:57 pm

harrison ford is my all time fav actor....i do not recognize harrison to be in mosquito coast kthx

Drolgin Steingrinder · Post by **Drolgin Steingrinder** » August 2, 2002, 7:18 pm

Bubba, I choose to judge each work on its own merits. That's why I can easily say that Battlefield Earth the movie is a piece of shit and Battlefield Earth the book is pretty good.

As for worst movie ever...I've got a few to nominate, but chiefly "Drop Dead Fred" and "Reptilicus".

Truant · Post by **Truant** » August 2, 2002, 7:20 pm

I have developed an acquired taste to REALLY FUCKING BAD movies.

Just call over a couple (horde) of friends, bust out alchohol of your choice. Hit mute, and make up new dialogue.

Granted, you and your friends have to be creative. Or it would all suck.

But I don't know which is more fun. The above stated. Or making Rais and Xou watch popular movies in French and Spanish with no subtitles. mwahahaha

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » August 2, 2002, 8:02 pm

Worst movie I ever saw was a made for TV spanish soap opera type movie.

What made it bad was I don't speak Spanish and my roomate was trying to translate it on the fly for me as it progressed.

Damn I gotta learn spanish. Half my state speaks it, I'm cut out of a whole other world.

Ogbar · Post by **Ogbar** » August 3, 2002, 1:30 pm

Actually, I believe Mosquito Coast was set in Central America. Though they never mention the country name, it likely is supposed to be Belize.

I personally think that MC is a pretty good movie, and certainly one of Harrison Ford's better acting jobs. I can understand someone finding it "ok", or even disliking it, but how you can claim it is one of the worst movies ever made baffles me.

Neost · Post by **Neost** » August 3, 2002, 2:23 pm

I don't know if it is conjectur or rumor, but I have read that Dianetics was started by L. Ron Hubbard as a joke/bet with a bunch of other science fiction writers.

Supposedly during a big sci-fi writer's convention, a round-table discussion on religion and science fiction was started and Hubbard stated that he could concoct a religion from scratch. The story goes that a $50 bet was made and Scientology was born.

I do know people who are involved in Scientology and if you aren't a BIG money contributor you never get far. And if you are the least bit weak-minded, you don't get out and wind up spending the majority of your time working for the "church" as well as contributing a good chunk of your income.

Ahmik · Post by **Ahmik** » August 4, 2002, 5:11 pm

I don't know anything about Scientology, so therefore it is reasonable that I would not recognize the presence of Scientology in any of L. Ron Hubbards books...

I did however read and thoroughly enjoy Battlefield Earth. I had heard that the movie was the biggest piece of shit to ever come out of hollywood and I expected as much simply because of the fact that trying to compact 1,000+ pages of text into a 2 hour movie could only result in shit.

On another note: I have also read L. Ron Hubbards "Mission Earth" series. This is a 10 volume science fiction series, and from what I was able to gather from it, it was very well written from what I recall.

I have to admit also though, that I was in South Korea at Kunsan Air Base when I read it, and I was always pretty intoxicated when I would lay down at night and start reading... so... this may go a long ways towards explaining why I think that this series was well written. When you are fuckin trashed, even some of my stuff appears to be well written...

Worst movie ever? hard to say... "Iron Eagle" and the sequels that follwed all sucked really bad. I have to agree with most of the shit on Jice's list too...

I liked "The Wraith" with Charlie Sheen from the mid 80's. I like cars, magic, and when bad people die.

KilornCloudwalker · Post by **KilornCloudwalker** » August 4, 2002, 11:20 pm

I gotta say Dick Tracy sucked ass...the only movie I ever walked out off in my life and I've watched some real crap movies. Anything Pauly Phore made pretty much sucked as well. In limited doses on MTV, I thought he was funny, but any exposure to him for more than 30 seconds is torture...buuuuuudddddddy.

Braxter · Post by **Braxter** » August 5, 2002, 4:17 am

lol you guys have picked some funny ass movies to put in the worst ever category. i practically laughed my ass off all the way through battlefield earth and most of Jice's list are a bunch of gutbusters too.

there's a difference between bad and boring. cabin boy, battlefield earth, waterworld, etc are all exceptionally bad movies. whereas something like the limey, an arguably good movie, was boring as shit. i can watch 15 bad movies in a row, but can't force myself through a boring one.

you people clearly have no idea how to enjoy a bad movie

dalur · Post by **dalur** » August 5, 2002, 9:58 am

The 1 movie that tops my list of ultimate SHIT - is Monaco forever - the wife rented that stupid waste of space a few years back and made me watch it - because it had the name VAN DAMME on it - bah - total waste of 4 bucks and an hour and half that I had to endure sitting through it.

Fameen · Post by **Fameen** » August 5, 2002, 10:36 am

Worst movie I've ever seen: 1st half of Battlefield Earth

Best nap I've ever had: 2nd half of Battlefield Earth.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » August 5, 2002, 11:00 am

I can't believe that I forgot to mention the WORST, most boring movie I've ever seen:

The Blair Witch Project

I had never fallen asleep in a movie, but 2 hours of 3 dumbasses stumbling around the scrub in New Jersey did me better than 2 perkis and a six-pack.

What made this flick even more painful was the massive hype campaign. I thought I was going to see the next "Exorcist," but instead I got that.

Deward · Post by **Deward** » August 5, 2002, 11:15 am

Damnit I liked Water world. I liked the Amazon-chick movies too. Sure the dialogue sucks total ass but when you have hot chicks running around in fur bikinis. woohoo!

Worst movies on my list. I just saw Mr. Deeds and I wanted to leave the theatre. Parts of that movie were just painful. What happened to Adam Sandler? I liked the Wedding Singer but since then it has been one ass movie after another. Can anyone admit to liking Little Nikki? *shudder* Also anything starring Annette Funicello or appearing on the Lifetime channel.

Battlefield earth was a real suck ass movie. I read the book at least ten times and it is definitely my favorite sci-fi book. For those that haven't read it then I definitely recommend it. No needs to worry about any preaching, just a straight up adventure novel. I was totally psyched up for this movie and could not believe how bad they interpreted it. The movie was barely along the same storyline as the book and I am disappointed at the tarnishing of the book's rep.

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » August 5, 2002, 12:24 pm

Heya Ahmik, I was in Kunsan in 86' *drifts into a nice daydream of all the good times at the Savoy club*.

I liked Waterworld and The Postman but for some reason I didn't like Dances with Wolves. Well, liked less I should say. I just remembered another piece of shit movie that I really didn't like at all. The remake of Thin Red Line. It was like they tried combining Private Ryan and Apocolype Now. It failed in a big way for me.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » August 5, 2002, 12:39 pm

Bubba Grizz wrote:
I liked Waterworld and The Postman but for some reason I didn't like Dances with Wolves. Well, liked less I should say.

THE POSTMAN!!!! ??

that was awful!! beyond awful. it was so bad it doesnt even deserve to be on this list!

you have removed all doubt that you have absolutely zero credibility when it comes to move recommendations!

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » August 5, 2002, 12:45 pm

Like I said, I like to lose myself in the movie and try to enjoy it before I start ripping it apart. Maybe it is the concept the movie is trying to convey that I find appealing rather than the movie itself. Regardless, I'd watch some of these again.

Planet of the Apes I didn't overly like. I loved the original but this one really didn't do it for me. I don't hate it and will most likely watch it again but it is lacking something for me.

Marbus · Post by **Marbus** » August 5, 2002, 12:46 pm

Scientology is basically a bastardization of Humanistic Psychology and Old Testiment Biblical rules.

As a former counselor I spent a bunch of time, "morbid curosity" - as someone already stated, studying this "phenomeon." Yes I read the books Hubbard wrote but I have also read all of Maslow and Roger's original works as well.

To me the whole idea was summed up on a couple of things I recieved in the mail. The first was a phamplet on "How to live a Happy Life." The whole phamplet was just the 10 Commandments minus the one about "No other Gods..." and another inserted in it's place.

The second came when I was reading about Hubbard's life. In 1958 he was quoted as saying "...the way to truly get rich would be to start your own religion..." In 1962 he founded the Church of Scientology... a "Church" based loosely on the principle of Humanstic and Existential Psychology laid down some 15-20 years earlier by the likes of Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow etc...

Some of the books actually have some pretty sound principles in them, however NONE of what I read seemed orignal... it was all compiled from a number of religious and psychological text... the most prominent being what I stated in my opening paragraph... IMHO L.Ron Hubbard was a really great editor with some novel ideas on how to make some money. What's funny is the number of "successful" people who adhere to these rules which they could have easily discovered on their on for FREE

Of course this is just my opinion, I could be wrong...

Marb

VeeshanVault

Okay Bubba, Battlefield Earth = Ass

Okay Bubba, Battlefield Earth = Ass

Never said I "liked" the movie