VeeshanVault

Whats the weirdest or a weird situation you've found yourself in? I'll start off with one..

I was downtown the other day with some friends and one of them was up to some mischief with a blow horn. Now these things are pretty damn loud, you could hear them from a fairly long distance away. So, horn guy, lets call him mr. X was following around this mean begger that attacks you if you don't give him anything and blowing it. Whenever this beggar would turn around to check things out Mr. X who was accompanied by a little entourage of us hooliganistic teenagers, would hide the horn behind him.

Anyway, the hobo manages to lose them and they return back to mugshots (one of the local coffee joints) and I meet up with them. We're going down water street and this guy on a bike sort of like Aranuils is in the road is going by us, so Mr. X being the genious he is decides to whip out the horn and blow it at him. Next thing we all know bike guy doubles back behind us and sucker kicks poor innocent Mr. Y and shouts while biking away at top speed, "Thats whatcha get for usin that fuckin horn of yours buddy wha!" thinking he was horn guy.

Mr. Y is a very scrawny guy who has a malignent tumor in his head appearently and is pretty weak. So next thing I know half my friends are chasing after this guy on foot or on skate boards. They never did manage to catch him but that bike guy made some dangerous enemys that day.

Sounds like very dangerous enemies indeed. I know I would not able to sleep at night if I knew a bunch of punks that think blowing a gas horn at strangers is dangling at the very cusp of teenage hooliganism was after me. I might have to get my own horn to defend myself.

Either stuck on a sorority hayride with a fat annoying girl introducing me as "Hi, this is Jeff my date, he's interested in someone else" because I wouldn't make out with her (she begged me to go and I only agreed to go as friends...and to be honest, I didn't even like her as a friend) then she would start crying....this went on for a while before I snuck off the tractor into the woods...I mean everyone was like "wtf is she doing?" so it's not like I was the asshole, but I felt it was better to just get away from her until the bus came to take us back to campus....in the meantime I found these 2 couples in thier 30's...one was my dean, the other was head of student affairs....next thing I knew I was doing keg stands with them.

Another weird situation was me dressed up as a bunny on halloween with some fucker from notre dame trying to kick my ass because he hated my costume.....when he took a swing and fell over and couldn't get back up. It would have been a little bit odder if say...the fight lasted longer...

I don't know about weirdest but this was certainly a traumatizing experience. Parents were out of town for the weekend, had a bunch of friends over watching the Tyson fight, drinking etc. I went upstairs w/ this girl I had met about 2 weeks before. We got onto my bed, starting making out, I took my shirt off, the usual drill. I unbuttoned her pants and slid my hand down. Big mistake. The second her pants were fully open this smell wafted out that was something I had never experienced before and couldn't have possibly imagined in even my worst nightmares. She was fully shaved, I'm not sure what was wrong w/ her, but it was something terrible. So then I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't just walk out on her, she was expecting more to happen. Luckily I saw the head lights of a car of what could have been some more friends and used the excuse that I had to go welcome them. It turned out that whoever they were, they didn't even stop near my house, but I was able to use it to diffuse the situation.

The rest of the night my fingers STUNK. I must have washed my hands ATLEAST 20 times and the smell would just not go away, and for some reason they kept finding their way to below my nostrils where I would inhale the odor.

To this day, I'm always careful to check what a girl smells like before I commit to anything or take any clothes off. I'll just mess around with her for a second, then discreetly slip a finger up to my nose and smell it. That experience has seriously scarred me for life...

It was anti-cousin odour protection.

A friend of mine told me about a similar situation a couple weeks ago.....only he had already went in for the kill....he had his face down there with obvious intent....but the smell was too much for him....I forget how he got out of it.

same thing happened to me with an ex-girlfriend of mine, i sat up and said something like "oh shit i think i hear my mom" then i kinda jumped out of the room and ran to the bathroom to wash. Lookin back I feel kinda bad, but when its that bad, you've gotta know your doing something wrong, I refuse to believe girls can think that is a natural healthy odor.

Not all of them can help it....but I did read in some cases it's something they eat on a regular basis.

I mean supossedly our cum tastes like what we ate, I've been told I should drink pinapple juice before sex....and strawberries I think and someone said...like..what was it..It was weird......like burrito or something crazy.

I don't know how obvious it is to the girl though, they don't have experience with other womans scents usually....and I certaintly don't know what my cum smells or tastes like.

But thier Gynocologist could maybe help them....and thier Gynocologist has them in stirupps with a speculum opening it in shining around with a flashlight and poking etc....I think they know there is an odor.

If I was a girl I would try douche before sex atleast....it's just a nice gesture if your aware of an odor...like I wouldn't eat dairy or beans before a date, and I'd defiantely shower (especially if I just got home from the gym).

The other thought is if the girl was using spermicide or something...you never know if she had a fail-safe device hehe....I don't know if that stuff has an odor or not.

Never post again.

Drunk...as all good stories start out.

I found myself a while back, wearing a hula skirt dancing to Hawaiin music on stage in front of a thousand or more Japanese people at a big water park in northern Japan (see Kenji World).

Was just me and 2 drunk buddies of mine the only Americans in the place. Best part was we drank the rest of the day for free and since we didnt speak the language very well at the time we had no idea whether they liked it or just thought we were idiots.

I would vote the latter but who knows or cares.

Pilsburry wrote: Not all of them can help it....but I did read in some cases it's something they eat on a regular basis.

I mean supossedly our cum tastes like what we ate, I've been told I should drink pinapple juice before sex....and strawberries I think and someone said...like..what was it..It was weird......like burrito or something crazy.

I don't know how obvious it is to the girl though, they don't have experience with other womans scents usually....and I certaintly don't know what my cum smells or tastes like.

But thier Gynocologist could maybe help them....and thier Gynocologist has them in stirupps with a speculum opening it in shining around with a flashlight and poking etc....I think they know there is an odor.

If I was a girl I would try douche before sex atleast....it's just a nice gesture if your aware of an odor...like I wouldn't eat dairy or beans before a date, and I'd defiantely shower (especially if I just got home from the gym).

The other thought is if the girl was using spermicide or something...you never know if she had a fail-safe device hehe....I don't know if that stuff has an odor or not.

Mr. Pilsburry, what youve just said is one of the most insanely iodiotic things i have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Do you have brain damage?

Pilsburry wrote:Not all of them can help it....but I did read in some cases it's something they eat on a regular basis.

I mean supossedly our cum tastes like what we ate, I've been told I should drink pinapple juice before sex....and strawberries I think and someone said...like..what was it..It was weird......like burrito or something crazy.

I don't know how obvious it is to the girl though, they don't have experience with other womans scents usually....and I certaintly don't know what my cum smells or tastes like.

But thier Gynocologist could maybe help them....and thier Gynocologist has them in stirupps with a speculum opening it in shining around with a flashlight and poking etc....I think they know there is an odor.

If I was a girl I would try douche before sex atleast....it's just a nice gesture if your aware of an odor...like I wouldn't eat dairy or beans before a date, and I'd defiantely shower (especially if I just got home from the gym).

The other thought is if the girl was using spermicide or something...you never know if she had a fail-safe device hehe....I don't know if that stuff has an odor or not.

What's the matter Kyoucan?

Smelly woman comments strike a nerve?

Why?

Also Miir and Jassun.

I realize your idiots and everything, but it's a medical fact that a woman's diet affects the smell down there, it's not from personal experience....I read it.

You can flame medical facts I post, say I have brain damage or I am insanely idiotic and have no rational thoughts, but I would have to say...considering 3 people in the thread have heard of the problem I figured I would help make them aware a possible solution for the women involved.

I would like you to please state why my post would indicate I have brain damage or am an idiot.

Take any statement I made, and post a link to something that proves my statement false. If you can discredit more then a third of my comments I'll agree that perhaps that was a stupid post.

If you can't I'll just continue to assume your the fucking idiot.

Thank you and have a nice day.

Oh BTW the name Mirr-ijauna does great justice for your cause..I see that name and just think to myself "Man that guy is probably an intelligent poster!!!"...go kill some more brain cells fag.

Douching may be good on your blow up doll Pils, but it's generally not healthy...
http://womenshealth.about.com/library/w ... 52901a.htm

To reduce vaginal odors. Women who have an unusual vaginal odor need to see their clinician for proper diagnosis, using a douche may only intensify the problem.

Is Douching Healthy?
Simply stated, the answer is "No."

Go crawl back across the river down there in Cincy and take up residence in the hills where your opinion and outlook on women are more in line with the norm.

I'm starting to understand why you are having problems getting dates with normal women.....
You're dumb.
Not 'cute' dumb or 'normal' dumb.
You're 'cleetus' dumb.

I did read in some cases it's something they eat on a regular basis.

If a womans diet is lacking necessary vitamins or minerals, they could have a chemical imbalance which might lead to infection or illness in which a secondary symptom might be an abnormal odour.

The type of food a woman eats has no bearing on a womans vaginal odour. A woman who eats nothing but grapfruit will not have a citrus odour/taste.

been told I should drink pinapple juice before sex....and strawberries

If your diet did actually effect on the odour/taste of your semen....the rate you body digests food/drink and produces semen, you would have to consume the 'pineapple juice' 2-3 days prior.

But thier Gynocologist could maybe help them....and thier Gynocologist has them in stirupps with a speculum opening it in shining around with a flashlight and poking etc....I think they know there is an odor.

This sort of comment might be funny coming from a 13-14 year old.
Coming from a 30 year old it's just embarrasing.
You should be fucking ashamed of your stupidity and ignorance.

I realize your idiots and everything, but it's a medical fact that a woman's diet affects the smell down there, it's not from personal experience....I read it.

You saw it on the internet so it must be true, right?

Oh BTW the name Mirr-ijauna does great justice for your cause..I see that name and just think to myself "Man that guy is probably an intelligent poster!!!"...

Last time I smoked weed - years ago
Last time I bought weed - never

You are not privy to the inside joke that is 'Miir Ajuana', therefore you look like a total fuxing donglu trying to call me a pothead as an insult.

go kill some more brain cells fag.

OH NOS!
He called me a fag!
Is that supposed to be an insult?
Or maybe it's wishful thinking... I know the girls don't seem to like you much but I didn't know you were starting to hit on men.

Pilsburry wrote:I would like you to please state why my post would indicate I have brain damage or am an idiot.

Take any statement I made, and post a link to something that proves my statement false. If you can discredit more then a third of my comments I'll agree that perhaps that was a stupid post.

I would just like to take this time to point out that even though you may or may not be regurgitating "facts" (and I use the term loosely), that has absolutely no bearing on whether or not it was a stupid post. What makes it a stupid post is the light in which you chose to present your "facts", as well as the opinions you present in conjunction with them.

Jassun was quoting a line from Billy Madison, perhaps it would do you well to take a ganders at that one. It's about a grown man who is a bit of an imbecile and never really learned even the simplest lessons of common sense and tact when going through school the first time. At the very least it may help you bone up on on your dodge ball and finger painting skills.

Pilsburry wrote:What's the matter Kyoucan?

Smelly woman comments strike a nerve?

Why?

yes you've discovered my dark secret. it has nothing to do with the fact you are a moron that makes worthless posts rambling out stupidity.

hrmmm

miir wrote: You're dumb.
Not 'cute' dumb or 'normal' dumb.
You're 'cleetus' dumb.

omg. This made me laugh so hard.

Thanks Miir. I almost choked ya bastage.

I was bored and did a google search it appears that significant amounts of strong spices can in fact cause a change to semen taste.

Heck there is even a patent on one; http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Pars ... PN/6485773

Heck if you do not believe it do a google search for +taste +semen +change, I figured pils was nuts, but he was half right.

Oh yeah, one thing that kills me, how can someone claiming to be more intelligent than another use an ADAM SANDLER QUOTE in doing so?

I'd wager that Adam Sandler is a pretty intelligent guy, and judging by the kind of money his movies have taken in, I'd say that his humor speaks to a large number of people. Perhaps you'd be more comfortable though if someone had quoted one of the comedians of your day, say Groucho Marx or perhaps Buster Keaton?

Lots of things can be eaten will effect the taste of a man's semen. Like if you don't want your girlfriend to gag it out and not give you another blow job for six months then avoid eating a lot of red meat or heavy green vegetables like brocolli beforehand. And yes eating citrus can dramatically alter the taste of it. There is even a product you can buy that alters the taste of your ejaculate.

kyoukan wrote:Lots of things can be eaten will effect the taste of a man's semen. Like if you don't want your girlfriend to gag it out and not give you another blow job for six months then avoid eating a lot of red meat or heavy green vegetables like brocolli beforehand. And yes eating citrus can dramatically alter the taste of it. There is even a product you can buy that alters the taste of your ejaculate.

And my friends dont understand why I drink orange juice and eat grapefruit every day .

*inspirational music playing the background*

So please, for the sake of your lovers taste buds... always drink your Kool-Aid or Capri-Sun before engaging in oral sex.

|
V

Jesus Pils. Never in my life have I found someone to be so ignorant of their own stupidity. You'd do well to avoid any discussion of women, hygene or relationships altogether. It's clear to us that you have no clue when it comes to them, therefore your opinion is, in the spirit of the rickshaw, wrong. How a person can get by for so long being as clueless and dimwitted as you astounds me, but then again, I suppose the girls at the autism center really put out, eh?

Pils, I recommend you read this thread from the FoH boards. No one else from VV need be subjected to this drivel, but you, Pils, need to read this.

Sam Deathwalker

Afterwards, you should reply with what you thought about it. If my theories are correct, you'll have seen no flaw in SDW's own sembalance of logic, and then you can finally confirm my suspicions that you are, indeed, Searyx's down-syndrome cousin, and I can place you on STFU without feeling the slightest twinge of guilt.

No, seriously, you're that fucking clueless.

OMG all this over a little stinky Poon? Just spray a little FDS and dig in

Sarge that made me spit coke all over my keyboard, Bill is in the mail!

Mumble

Here is a secret for you young people that may be afraid of the noxious odors eminating from below...

Invite the woman to take a shower with you... A nice long, hot, soapy, lathery, slippery shower can be a very sensual experience... make sure you scrub your hairy sweaty ass while you're in there... that probably stinks too...

heh

Kylere wrote:...blah blah blah...how can someone claiming to be more intelligent than another...blah blah blah...

Although I have enjoyed lurking and reading many of your post in the past, I must say that reading comprehension is a skill that I have always felt you lacked.

VVs inc to Pahreyia for an outstanding post!

Jassun wrote:

Kylere wrote:...blah blah blah...how can someone claiming to be more intelligent than another...blah blah blah...

Although I have enjoyed lurking and reading many of your post in the past, I must say that reading comprehension is a skill that I have always felt you lacked.

Reading comprehension? No flaw here, it is simple logic that when you doubt another persons capabilities you are in fact placing yourself above them. Being snide about anothers abilities implies you feel yours are superior, but I guess looking down at everyone as you obviously do has not allowed you to realize this fact.

kyoukan wrote:Lots of things can be eaten will effect the taste of a man's semen. Like if you don't want your girlfriend to gag it out and not give you another blow job for six months then avoid eating a lot of red meat or heavy green vegetables like brocolli beforehand. And yes eating citrus can dramatically alter the taste of it. There is even a product you can buy that alters the taste of your ejaculate.

God damned Atkins diet!

yes eating foods can alter the taste of your semen ... i know from personal experience you want to avoid fatty foods etc you want to eat mostly fruits and drink lots of water if you want it to taste better from what i have experience ... as for the stinky women .. i don't have that problem but guys ...they have a smell down there too sometimes ...ball sweat can smell nasty so you need to make sure you wash down there also.

miir wrote:VVs inc to Pahreyia for an outstanding post!

Heh, unexpected compliment, but thanks nontheless.

I'd rather not come off as a Pils hater, but it really upsets me how badly he comes off about these things. I don't dislike the guy, but if he's going to insist on posting on these topics from now on, I'd rather not have to read what he has to say. I respect him as an EQ player, and he's brought OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS to older topics, but sorry, this kind of shit just pushes it over the edge for me.

I was told once by a girl smokers tasted horrible (I dont smoke, just came up in conversation kinda like this post)

But the fact remains

A good wench will swallow regardless....and like it.

Melrin_Specclaster wrote:A good wench will swallow regardless....and like it.

you've been watching too much porn again you stupid fucking smacktard.

Melrin_Specclaster wrote:I was told once by a girl smokers tasted horrible (I dont smoke, just came up in conversation kinda like this post)

Girls that smoke over a pack a day taste nasty (kissing and downtown), but I never noticed a taste with more casual smokers.

kyoukan wrote:

Melrin_Specclaster wrote:A good wench will swallow regardless....and like it.

you've been watching too much porn again you stupid fucking smacktard.

Pr0n bitches spit almost every time, but at least they try to make it look sexy

bitches?

kyoukan wrote:bitches?

You prefer asstramps?

Edited for inappropriate use of quotes =p

nah call them what you want. anything that keeps you from getting laid and thus procreating is worth a few derogatory insults aimed at my gender.

Girl, I know you want these nuts!

porn chicks blow bubbles with it too, but I have yet to find one to do that. I will have to admit that the ones that swallow have usually been the ones that have had the most overall talent at sucking it anyway. Usually they do it because they like what they are doing and not because of any input you have.

But yes, swallowers >>>> pop it out and jack it back onto your stomachers

kyoukan wrote:

Melrin_Specclaster wrote:A good wench will swallow regardless....and like it.

you've been watching too much porn again you stupid fucking smacktard.

I dont watch porn, I just believe in raising the bar of expectations more than 1 inch off the ground. If my female, cant be a) fun and b) my friend then why am I with them?

And just cause I joke about them swalling doesnt make me a fucktard, but then again...anybody that would try to convince you of anything IS a dumbass.

kyoukan wrote:bitches?

Bitches, wenches, whatever name I pick sure. I expect who I'm with to have a sense of humor unlike you. People who get offended by stuff like this are the anal people in life that dont understand what a relaxing and enjoyable relationship is. Sure, you're likely to argue it, but...you argue everything anyway, so its expected.

And you can say its not respectful or that they have had bad relationships in the past with low self esteem, but why would I try to have a real conversation and explain the 'real' things of life and relationships with you...I wouldnt.

miir wrote:I'm starting to understand why you are having problems getting dates with normal women.....
You're dumb.
Not 'cute' dumb or 'normal' dumb.
You're 'cleetus' dumb.

I did read in some cases it's something they eat on a regular basis.

If a womans diet is lacking necessary vitamins or minerals, they could have a chemical imbalance which might lead to infection or illness in which a secondary symptom might be an abnormal odour.

The type of food a woman eats has no bearing on a womans vaginal odour. A woman who eats nothing but grapfruit will not have a citrus odour/taste.

been told I should drink pinapple juice before sex....and strawberries

If your diet did actually effect on the odour/taste of your semen....the rate you body digests food/drink and produces semen, you would have to consume the 'pineapple juice' 2-3 days prior.

But thier Gynocologist could maybe help them....and thier Gynocologist has them in stirupps with a speculum opening it in shining around with a flashlight and poking etc....I think they know there is an odor.

This sort of comment might be funny coming from a 13-14 year old.
Coming from a 30 year old it's just embarrasing.
You should be fucking ashamed of your stupidity and ignorance.

I realize your idiots and everything, but it's a medical fact that a woman's diet affects the smell down there, it's not from personal experience....I read it.

You saw it on the internet so it must be true, right?

Oh BTW the name Mirr-ijauna does great justice for your cause..I see that name and just think to myself "Man that guy is probably an intelligent poster!!!"...

Last time I smoked weed - years ago
Last time I bought weed - never

You are not privy to the inside joke that is 'Miir Ajuana', therefore you look like a total fuxing donglu trying to call me a pothead as an insult.

go kill some more brain cells fag.

OH NOS!
He called me a fag!
Is that supposed to be an insult?
Or maybe it's wishful thinking... I know the girls don't seem to like you much but I didn't know you were starting to hit on men.

OK you state in your post that you found an article stating that a womans diet can cause vaginal odor as a secondary side effect of malnutrition or whatever...

Then you state since I read it on the internet and beleived it I'm stupid.

I never said a woman would taste that way...I said it would affect her smell, which you helpfully backed me up on, I said a man would..kylere backed me on that.

Then you say I'm stupid because I said that a gynocologist should just opnely tell a woman what's wrong with her scent and how to fix it because he obviously can diagnose there is a problem to solve w/o having to order special tests to diagnose there is a problem in the first place.

You did not prove anything I said wrong. You only proved what I stated earlier Mirr. One of those things being that your the idiot not me.

Parhelia or whatever...please if you call me a dumbass, prove me as such...same as I asked of others.

Kyoucan hates me obviously, and she still posted the truth....not just that I am a dumbass, but the truth she found regarding my statements. That's good, even if it would have proved me a dumbass it would still have been good.

Kindo...
I never said Douching is good for a woman. I just said that perhaps douching before sex is a necessary evil, to get rid of the smell before sex.

Douching reduces things such as the PH level in the vaginal area so that they are more prone to things like yeast infections. It also washes away beneficial bacteria.

I didn't know that it *may* worsen the smell. And that's why I only said I would *think* it would help. Still *may* can mean 10% of the time it makes it worse and 90% it makes it better. I just assumed from the masingil commericals that it left a "fresh scent" you know the whole false advertising laws etc...

Still in the end it will leave them more susceptible to yeast infections...those you can treat with monostat.

Yes, that's a lot of hassle....but guys don't like the smell you read the posts they all ran and hid....they wanted no part of the smelly poon. If you want them to want you...then you need to take care of the odor.

Of course there are probably guys out there who like it, I mean some guys like feet, some like to be beaten, some like butt sex, some like big girls....someone probably likes smelly poon. But the majority does not.

I assume in most cases unless it's really bad most guys will just avoid going "down" on a girl with this problem.

Swallowers are good, for clean up reasons.

But if they don't enjoy it....spit that shit somewhere. Hell let me know so we can avoid you having to spit in the first place.

I would never want anyone to do something they didn't enjoy.

I don't think many girls swallow, And I think it has a lot to do with the stickiness and the saltiness of most men's ejaculate. From the description some girls gave me...I would not want that shit in my mouth even if I was a female.

I don't know much about it, but from the description it sounds worse then a big ball of phlegm. I can deal with phlegm, but I try and avoid it. I can't blame a chick for doing the same.

Sure like I said mens semen can taste different because of thier diet, but I don't think it's enough of a difference. Like for example....if you hate tomatoes...putting some pepper in your tomato soup isn't going to really make you change your mind on ordering up a bowl for lunch is it?

Just don't spit it in the drapes or carpet anything crazy that sucks to clean.