Funny (mis)quotes from professors.
Posted: March 30, 2003, 12:28 pm
I read from a local msgboard here at Texas A&M.
They got a pretty good thread going about off the wall things they've heard their professors say.
Here's the link: http://hobbes.resnet.tamu.edu/forums/in ... &t=78&st=0
examples:
Prof: Does anyone know the largest factor in determining good grades in public schools?
Student: Attention span?
Another student (to the prof): Could you repeat the question?
--------------
The Prof is using Poker chips to explain probability. He has maroon and blue chips. He also wants to use the chalkboard to write down column A and column B and the different chips in each pile.
Prof: I wish I had colored chalk.
Student: There's some yellow chalk.
Prof: There aren't any yellow chips.
Student: ...but you can use...
Prof: THERE AREN'T ANY YELLOW CHIPS.
-------------------
Dr. Greenbaum in BIOL 466 - Principles of Evolution on the first day of class.
"I hope Santa was good to you... That will be the last major metaphysical reference in this class."
-------------------------------------
phil 331 with stadleman(n) for january 22, 2003:
"if it looks like i've slept in these clothes, it's because i have."
stadleman(n): Anyone know what the anniversary of today is?
student: roe v. wade?
stadleman(n): yeah. i just want to say good morning to all you survivors.
-------------------------------
Anthropology teacher:
"Symmetrical women have more orgasms...no, really, they do!"
---------------------------------
My nautical archeology professor who grew up in Portugal
"In secondary school we had to take 3 years of English, but it was the late 60s so all my teachers were so high they never showed up to teach. So my English was horrible when I got accepted to A&M. So I learnt by watching Pulp Fiction over and over again.... then when I got here I was informed it wasn't polite to say "mother fucker" in class.
They got a pretty good thread going about off the wall things they've heard their professors say.
Here's the link: http://hobbes.resnet.tamu.edu/forums/in ... &t=78&st=0
examples:
Prof: Does anyone know the largest factor in determining good grades in public schools?
Student: Attention span?
Another student (to the prof): Could you repeat the question?
--------------
The Prof is using Poker chips to explain probability. He has maroon and blue chips. He also wants to use the chalkboard to write down column A and column B and the different chips in each pile.
Prof: I wish I had colored chalk.
Student: There's some yellow chalk.
Prof: There aren't any yellow chips.
Student: ...but you can use...
Prof: THERE AREN'T ANY YELLOW CHIPS.
-------------------
Dr. Greenbaum in BIOL 466 - Principles of Evolution on the first day of class.
"I hope Santa was good to you... That will be the last major metaphysical reference in this class."
-------------------------------------
phil 331 with stadleman(n) for january 22, 2003:
"if it looks like i've slept in these clothes, it's because i have."
stadleman(n): Anyone know what the anniversary of today is?
student: roe v. wade?
stadleman(n): yeah. i just want to say good morning to all you survivors.
-------------------------------
Anthropology teacher:
"Symmetrical women have more orgasms...no, really, they do!"
---------------------------------
My nautical archeology professor who grew up in Portugal
"In secondary school we had to take 3 years of English, but it was the late 60s so all my teachers were so high they never showed up to teach. So my English was horrible when I got accepted to A&M. So I learnt by watching Pulp Fiction over and over again.... then when I got here I was informed it wasn't polite to say "mother fucker" in class.