Conan the Barbarian - GOD WHY!?!?!

[Ashur]

WHY CAN'T ANYONE FUCKING STAY TRUE TO THE LITERARY CLASSICS

http://conan-trailer.blogspot.com/2008/ ... -2009.html

I'd describe the work in progress as "A movie inspired by movies inspired the character created by Robert E Howard".

They're rebooting it, but still fucking it up beyond belief.

Conan was never a slave!
Conan's tribe was never wiped out!
Conan was never an idiot!

FFS, take BLACK COLOSSUS and make that into a movie - verbatim! (change the title if you must, but it's an awesome story and it needs the big screen treatment)

[Canelek]

I liked Conan The Barbarian!

Mako still alive?

[Ashur]

The Milius version wasn't true to the novels either, but if you're going to reboot the damn series, why reboot with a completely new uninspired story when there's already canon stories out there FFS.

[Kwonryu DragonFist]

Who is playing COnan in this?

[Kluden]

Probably the actor who played cobra commander...he's ripped!

[Kwonryu DragonFist]

lol...

[Winnow]

[Kluden]

more seriously, but not really so, they'll probably go for full shitting on by getting a WWE wrestler to play Conan. Whomever it is, if they don't go grab a no name with talent, this will probably end up unwatchable...much like the Conan sequel was.

[Boogahz]

Jason Momoa (Ronon from Stargate: Atlantis) will apparently play Conan.

[Sartori]

I'm not interested in this remake or Jason Momoa playing Conan, but I do think he could make a good Khal Drogo. I hope...

[Canelek]

George RR Martin said when they were casting that he absolutely pegged the Khal Drogo scenes.

[Kwonryu DragonFist]

New pics of the New Conan - Jason Momoa

http://www.latinoreview.com/news/first- ... conan-9941




At least they got Conans hair right!

[Canelek]

Meh. Still not the same without pre-Botox Arnold...

[Winnow]

Looks a little scrawny compared to Arnold!

[Dregor Thule]

Can act circles around Arnold tho.

[Ashur]

At least they got Conans hair right!

"square-cut mane"

Fail.

[Ashur]

My favorite Conan speech, from The Scarlet Citadel.

"Our desires are quickly spoken, king of Aquilonia," said Tsotha. "It is our wish to extend our empire."

"And so you want to swine my kingdom," rasped Conan.

"What are you but an adventurer, seizing a crown to which you had no more claim than any other wandering barbarian?" parried Amalrus. "We are prepared to offer you suitable compensation--"

"Compensation!" It was a gust of deep laughter from Conan's mighty chest. "The price of infamy and treachery! I am a barbarian, so I shall sell my kingdom and its people for life and your filthy gold? Ha! How did you come to your crown, you and that black-faced pig beside you? Your fathers did the fighting and the suffering, and handed their crowns to you on golden platters. What you inherited without lifting a finger--except to poison a few brothers--I fought for.

"You sit on satin and guzzle wine the people sweat for, and talk of divine rights of sovereignty--bah! I climbed out of the abyss of naked barbarism to the throne and in that climb I spilt my blood as freely as I spilt that of others. If either of us has the right to rule men, by Crom, it is I! How have you proved yourselves my superiors?

"I found Aquilonia in the grip of a pig like you--one who traced his genealogy for a thousand years. The land was torn with the wars of the barons, and the people cried out under oppression and taxation. Today no Aquilonian noble dares maltreat the humblest of my subjects, and the taxes of the people are lighter than anywhere else in the world.

"What of you? Your brother, Amalrus, holds the eastern half of your kingdom, and defies you. And you, Strabonus, your soldiers are even now besieging castles of a dozen or more rebellious barons. The people of both your kingdoms are crushed into the earth by tyrannous taxes and levies. And you would loot mine--ha! Free my hands and I'll varnish this floor with your brains!"

[Aslanna]

Arnold Schwarzenegger is gearing up to reprise his iconic role as Conan the Barbarian in "The Legend of Conan."

The actor and former California governor starred in the original 1982 film, "Conan the Barbarian" and the 1984 sequel "Conan the Destroyer," which cumulatively grossed over $70 million in the U.S. box office. The 65-year-old launched his career with the film, transitioning from Austrian body-builder to Hollywood star.

"I always loved the Conan character, and I'm honored to be asked to step into the role once again," Schwarzenegger said in a statement to Deadline on October 26.
"This movie picks up Conan where Arnold is now in his life, and we will be able to use the fact that he has aged in this story," producer Chris Morgan said. "I love the property of Conan so much that I wouldn't touch it unless we came up with something worthy. We think this is a worthy successor to the original film."

A remake of the film, starring Jason Momoa, Rose McGowan, Rachel Nichols, Stephen Lang and Ron Perlman, was released in August 2011 and earned only $21 million in the U.S. box office. In the fantasy film, muscle-bound warrior Conan the Cimmerian (Momoa) seeks to avenge his father's murder and the slaughtering of his entire village.

Schwarzenegger returned to acting after ending his term as California governor in January 2011. He recently reprised his role as Trench in "The Expendables 2," which also stars Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, Liam Hemsworth, Jet Li and Jason Statham.

He is also slated to appear in several other films, including "Triplets," a sequel to the 1988 comedy "Twins," where he portrayed the experimentally conceived twin brother of Danny DeVito.

Schwarzenegger has been making headlines lately over his new autobiography, "Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story," which details his affairs with his and his now-estranged wife Maria Shriver's former housekeeper Mildred Baena, with whom he fathered a son named Joseph. He also admit to having an "outrageous affair" with his Brigitte Nielsen, his co-star in the 1985 film, "Red Sonja."

Shriver, 56, filed for divorce in July 2011 amid the cheating scandal and after 25 years of marriage. The couple announced their separation in May 2011.

It was later revealed that the actor had fathered a son with Baena while he was married to Shriver, who is the mother of daughters Christina, 21, and Katherine, 23, and sons Christopher, 14 and Patrick, 19.

Wow. 65. I'm old...

[masteen]

As bad a Conan the Destroyer and Red Sonja were, I still thought there was another good Conan movie left in the material. Too bad they waited so long, as I'm not sure Conan the Geriatric will put too many asses in seats.

[Winnow]

He is also slated to appear in several other films, including "Triplets," a sequel to the 1988 comedy "Twins," where he portrayed the experimentally conceived twin brother of Danny DeVito.

He's hit the bottom of the barrel. Arnold needs to just go head to some island and enjoy his maid. He's not a Clint Eastwood type with golden years attached to his career.