VeeshanVault

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mcanadawar.html?

what the hell would we ever want canada for? We've got michigan, isn't that enough, eh?

People in Michigan don't talk like that, unless they live in the sparsely populated Upper Peninsula, but that's like a different country anyway. And you ask why we'd want Canada... I can't speak for all the provinces, but I've been to and enjoyed my stay in B.C., Ontario and Nova Scotia and I can say with great certainty that they would be better additions to the Union than many states. Can anyone say Ohio?

Fishing maybe....

That's what Wisconsin is for.

Pahreyia wrote:what the hell would we ever want canada for? We've got michigan, isn't that enough, eh?

To crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and to hear the lamentation of the women!

As Shank would say Damiarch.....

You Minnesotans have ruined your own lakes! You'll not ruin mine!

.....damn mud ducks.

Hah! Mud Ducks...now there's a term I haven't heard in a while. I remember my sister from Illinois calling us that years ago.

Not that I'm a big fisherman or anything but STFU you cheese-headed Sconie! I'll ruin your lakes whenever I please.

you will never take me alive HAHAHAHA /em jumps on top of her apartment building submachine gun in hand and starts spraying bullets every direction

hah! if you tried to invade, we'd invoke the new Defense Plan MC-24, which involves converting the entire country's industrial production to Molson Canadian, and then feeding it to your troops, who have little idea what real beer is! Then, when they are drunk on the Molson swill, we would start giving "canoe lessons". Estimated US casualties are about 60% of the invading force (the other 40% will pass out before the canoe lessons).

Ohio>Michigan

Dont think we have to worry much about a US invasion of Canada.
They have a hard enough time ven finding it on a map.

miir wrote:Dont think we have to worry much about a US invasion of Canada.
They have a hard enough time ven finding it on a map.

Now I feel threatened and am going to petition the UN to have the USA dearm itself. Yes, I can see that happening.

My name is Double Standard

TeurdeCT wrote:Now I feel threatened and am going to petition the UN to have the USA dearm itself. Yes, I can see that happening.

My name is Double Standard

Ummm If we disarmed who would protect you from those evil Eskimos

My Name is Ungrateful

If we needed protecting we'd make nukes.

Forthe wrote:If we needed protecting we'd make nukes.

Do you know how?
I hear Russia has a few for sale cheap

To be worthy of the Imperialist might of the USA, you would need to have something of value.
WTH does Canada have beside snow? And well maybe beer?




Thats it Canada is a threat to the global supply of beer. They must be dealt with.

Canada has had nuclear weapons since the 60s.

kyoukan type-R wrote:Canada has had nuclear weapons since the 60s.

It would have been better for all of us if you had unleased them instead of Bryan Adams and Celine Dion.

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:

kyoukan type-R wrote:Canada has had nuclear weapons since the 60s.

It would have been better for all of us if you had unleased them instead of Bryan Adams and Celine Dion.

OMG hahhahhahah

wadana wrote:you will never take me alive HAHAHAHA /em jumps on top of her apartment building submachine gun in hand and starts spraying bullets every direction

Uhhh Wad... 99.99999% sure you were a mangina

carrot-top

you lose the battle of the stupid celebrities in the first round.

Two words:
















Pauly Shore

kyoukan type-R wrote:carrot-top

you lose the battle of the stupid celebrities in the first round.

Ahhh Hell She wins.

Of course you started it all with Howie Mandel

Cartalas wrote:

Forthe wrote:If we needed protecting we'd make nukes.

Do you know how?
I hear Russia has a few for sale cheap

We disarmed in the mid 70s AFAIK.

You can blame us for india and pakistan tho :/.

I hear there be dark majicks in Canada. Ye have all heard tales of witchery and sorcery I'll warrant, but I be hearin' there is a vast army of giants full 5 canoes high and 2 more across and drive giant Ski-Doos to run us down whilst wielding great hockey sticks as if they were lances.

Tread lightly, lightly indeed!

yea while my appartment building used to house saten himself or some form of him but he is long gone now

Sabek wrote:WTH does Canada have beside snow? And well maybe beer?

Northern Lights, and I don't mean the Aurora Borealis.

kyoukan type-R wrote:carrot-top

you lose the battle of the stupid celebrities in the first round.

Well, we Americans can't be proud of everything we have! I still won't use 1-800-CALL-ATT out of principle from those goddamned commercials. (actually I never use any collect call services)

I will see your Carrot Top with Keneau Reeves and raise you Matthew Perry, Martin Short, Tom Green.

we are realing from that Carrot Top stroke.

Just hoping to make it to the bell in ROund 1!

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:I will see your Carrot Top with Keneau Reeves and raise you Matthew Perry, Martin Short, Tom Green.

I raise you a Mike Myers, John Candy, Pam Anderson and Neil Young.

Will I see you at the Big House next year Sylvus? The thrashings continue.

-Alfan

You guys buy handbags from a fat woman with no credentials cept sucking an old presidents cock.

/raise that

We should probably nuke Canada...I heard there were 12 or 13 al Queda members hiding there plotting an invasion of the United States.

Alfan wrote:Will I see you at the Big House next year Sylvus? The thrashings continue.

-Alfan

I'll definitely be there, but I don't know if the thrashing delivered by OSU will.

/EM looks over at the nuke pointed at canada

Hey watch where you point that thing your going to take someones eyes/hair/skin/bones/muscles/heart out with that thing