VeeshanVault

So today I decided to cook myself some bacon and eggs. I've done this several times over the last month or so since I found it to be a cheap and delicious meal. However, this time I overcooked the bacon a bit and as I disposed of the grease it smoked up pretty bad. Then my phone rang and as I went to answer it my fire alarm went off in my condo. So I hung up the phone to try to disengage the fire alarm because it's so freaking loud, and now the eggs are burning and more smoke is filling the apartment. I manage to pull the fire alarm off the ceiling to make it shut up but not before the building fire alarm goes off. It is extremely loud and now the entire building, 6 stories with 10 condos on each story, is being evacuated. People from adjacent buildings are now coming out to see what's going on. I see this because I'm opening up my windows to let some of the smoke out. Then the building manager shows up at my door to see what's going on. I tell him it's just smoke and nothing is on fire. It is still loud and hectic. He leaves to turn off the main building alarm. Then he shows up again and says he can't turn the fire alarm off in the building because something is wrong with my fire alarm. I tell him I uninstalled it to shut it up. He comes in and re-installs it. Then he leaves. This guy is in his 70s and has already suffered a stroke, so I feel really bad. I step out on my balcony and all the residents from my building and a lot from adjacent buildings are gathered up outside, and when my neighbor sees me she says "there's the star of our show!"... Another asks what I'm cooking. I tell them I was cooking some bacon. We have to yell over the obnoxious fire alarm. Finally, the building manager turns off the main alarm, but not before 3 fire trucks show up. The firefighters come up and ask a few quick questions. I tell them it was a false alarm. They go back outside.

By now my eggs and bacon are cold, but I eat them anyway. 20 minutes later I step back out on my balcony since the fire trucks are still there, but now it's quiet. My neighbor is on her balcony and looks over at me. "How was the bacon?" she asked.

"Burnt" I replied.

lol, thats like how it is at school with their fire alarm drills ... they seem to always have them at dinner time .. and we all joke about how someones going to have a real fire because pizza will be in the oven or something ... and the building will burn down ... the other times that the alarm goes off is usually because someone burns biscuits or something ... its dumb .. last one was at 4 am ... and it was raining ...

Oh god, I remember dorm fire alarms...2am, 3am, 4am, and 5am are the only times the damned things worked.

lol! Great story.

This is why it is good to install a hood that sucks air OUTSIDE instead of right back in. I dread cooking anything in the oven here since the tiniest bit of smoke sets the fucking alarm off. This is with a clean oven...oy.

Btw, you should never need to turn your stove even up to medium heat for bacon, less for eggs.
Unless you're some kind of speed freak cook who wants things done in 30 seconds or less.

I normally turn the fire completely off and cook the eggs with residual pan heat, tbh.

Truant wrote:Btw, you should never need to turn your stove even up to medium heat for bacon, less for eggs.
Unless you're some kind of speed freak cook who wants things done in 30 seconds or less.

I normally turn the fire completely off and cook the eggs with residual pan heat, tbh.

Yes! Eric doesn't seem to understand that cooking eggs on high heat makes them blech! Low heat = nice fluffy eggs and bacon nice and crisp all the way through (I hate when the fatty parts are like cartilege). Of course my house will smell like bacon all day

Remember my post in the gambling thread:

Aslanna wrote:Gambling is a sin. Prepare to roast in the fires of hell for all eternity.

Consider this incident your 'warning'.

i made deep fried bacon the other day. dredge in egg. cover in whatever you'd normally bread chicken with. basically fat covered in fat cooked in fat. it was definitely the most delicious thing i ever regretted eating.

Aslanna wrote:Remember my post in the gambling thread:

Aslanna wrote:Gambling is a sin. Prepare to roast in the fires of hell for all eternity.

Consider this incident your 'warning'.

i made deep fried bacon the other day. dredge in egg. cover in whatever you'd normally bread chicken with. basically fat covered in fat cooked in fat. it was definitely the most delicious thing i ever regretted eating.

I'm pretty sure bacon porn goes in the NWS forums.

yeah.. yeah thats hot

I need a towel.

Jeez. You got me going again! but do I risk setting off the building alarm?

maybe. but bacon tastes good.

Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.

Spang wrote:Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.

What about with a dollop of Cool Whip?

I generally avoid red meat, but bacon is one of my biggest weaknesses.

...except for when it's used in something like the Bacon Explosion My stomach acids revolt just looking at it.

Bacon in cupcakes (usually maple-flavored cake and/or frosting) has become quite popular too.

I thought pork was the other white meat? Go ahead and eat it!

Lalanae wrote:...except for when it's used in something like the Bacon Explosion My stomach acids revolt just looking at it.

That looks incredible... bookmarked for the summer, thx! lol.

be warned- you don't find out why its called "Bacon Explosion" until after you're done eating it

Sylvus wrote:I thought pork was the other white meat? Go ahead and eat it!

I go by the definition of red meat meaning "mammal meat"

Lalanae wrote:

Sylvus wrote:I thought pork was the other white meat? Go ahead and eat it!

I go by the definition of red meat meaning "mammal meat"

Either way, Pork isn't actually white meat. It's just a clever bit of marketing done by the Pork Board to make you think it is, and as such, healthier than beef...hoping that you'll buy more pork.

Try cooking the bacon on a baking pan in the oven next time. Less of a hassle and it actually comes out really good. You'll need to flip it once.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,455067,00.html

mmm uncooked pork = chance of worms in your brain