VeeshanVault

I have a lot..

But the one that really pisses me off is when someone comes and points something out on my screen. And they touch it. And leave fingerprints all over the screen. OMG stop touching the damn screen!

Argh!

What others are out there?

Along the same lines, I can't stand it when someone walks into my office and the first thing they do is look at my computer screen. I usually ask them if they see anything interesting or tell them it is classified material and get the fuck out before I put them on report

I also hate it when rude fuckers come in here, sit down on the couch and fucking fart and pretend like nothing happened. I am the only one allowed to bust ass in here damnit!

Post it notes placed on the monitor glass...*shudder*

Retarded people.

fucktards that take the last drink of water out of the water cooler and dont replace the jug.

A female CSR who clicks her pen to death while she's on the phone.... Im going to wait another 30 seconds before I grab it and stab her in the fucking neck with it.

I have my office setup in such a way that people can't get to my screen. I have a line of defense of file cabinets acting like tank traps as protection against the screen touchers and the only way they can get to my screen is for me to move and I'm not moving!.

Another peeve is someone bothering me in the middle of a post to a message board. hello! Where's the fire? Whatever it is can wait!

3rd pet peeve are voice mails. Deleted 89 of them a few months back. I figure if they're important enough, people will call back or come see me which is fine as long as I'm not posting and they don't touch my screen!

That guy or girl who always swears up and down they do more work than anyone else, as you are trying to get your own work done.

Screen touching and screen spying are #1's..

Women/men who bathe in perfume/cologne.

People who bring their stank ass smelling food to their desk to eat it, thus stinking up the entire area around them.

People who clip their nails. I. HATE. THAT. SOUND. I will get rude and demand that whoever it is stops it immediately.

People who burn popcorn in the microwave and stink up the entire first floor of my building. It's fucking popcorn. How fucking hard is it to cook it? Is it popping? No? Then it's fucking done. Open the fucking microwave door. Don't stick it in then come back 15 minutes later hoping it's done. Popcorn takes less than two minutes. Three minutes on p.o.s. microwaves max.

People who eavesdrop on your conversation from the other side of cubeland walls and then pipe in their opinions, when it has nothing to do with them.

People who want to drop by and chat endlessly about trivial crap when you're obviously busy.

IT departments without a clue and Microsoft's SMS crap. Auto-running NT scripts on log-on. Easily cancelled, but still annoying.


Ugh, I could go on.. I think I've been in cubeland too long.

Holy shit, I thought I was the only one that completely freaked when people touch my monitor screen...

My boss is guilty of the monitor sticky notes. She thinks its the best way to get our attention for some reason. Hate that shit.

Perfume wearers - hate them.

Popcorn poppers (burned or not) - hate those fuckers.

People who walk in to your office and help themselves to supplies rather than walking a few more feet and getting their own.

Finger lickers (You know, the people who lick a finger to grab a piece of paper). Also - people who slobber all over envelopes to get them sealed. Just disgusts me watching their fat wet slimy looking tongues salivate all over the envelope. And fuck if they try to hand something to me after its been spit on.

People who click hard candy against their teeth when they are trying to suck on it. (People who make noise when eating in general, especially if it is anywhere near my office area).

People who the toilet seat cover on the toilet instead of flushing it down after they pee. HOW HARD IS IT TO TURN AROUND AND MAKE SURE THE DAMN THING GOT FLUSHED??! (Same thing goes with anything left in the toilet - ffs check your shit to make sure it flushed)

I could list a million more I'm sure. Pretty much anything other people do tends to annoy me. Interrupts my, um, message board surfing and IRC chat.

Humanity.

Dregor Thule wrote:Humanity.

Yeah that about sums it up

I was trying to limit my condensed list to the office variations of course. The list of peeves in general is just too long to even thing of listing hehe.

pop corn stench all over the floor, good luck figuring out which office caused it

people who smoke in their offices even though the building is a non-smoking enviroment, stupid ventilation ducts spread that stench everywhere, much like pop corn stench

people who leave the toilet seat liner on the toilet when they're done

people who flush the toilet incompletely I mean how hard it is to stand there for 10 seconds to see if all of your crap is gone??

people who stand in the hallways right outside my door and talk on their cellphones, I really don't need to hear those conversations


heh, my restroom peeves are same as Sirensa's
another restroom annoyance is women doing their complete make up in front of that huge mirror, spreading their cosmetics all over the counter, god forbid you splash some water on them when washing your hands though

people who leave their shoes behind my chair so when I get up from my desk I trip on them. Oh, wait.

Ennia wrote:heh, my restroom peeves are same as Sirensa's
another restroom annoyance is women doing their complete make up in front of that huge mirror, spreading their cosmetics all over the counter, god forbid you splash some water on them when washing your hands though

Heheh, you mean you don't do that on purpose?

I have another one... the people who talk on their cell phones while using the bathroom. God.. You'd think it could wait.

Where to begin,

At work we have four people in a large cube with a central workstation, to be shared for CAD/simulation/SPICE simulation for the group. I hate using that damn computer after lunch because your gauranteed to get one asshole that eats cheetos/dorito/whatever and muck ups the damn keyboard and mouse. Its digusting, wash your goddamn hands before you use the shared workstation. Besides if your lazy and cannot take the time to wash your hands after you eat, how can be comfortable that you'll take the time wash after you wipe your ass or fondle your dick.

People who show up for work at 9:30-10:00A.M. and leave at 4:00-4:30PM and spend about 6 of those hours goofing off and bullshitting

Spending more than 4 hours a day in meetings

Engineers who are dumb as dog shit. How the fuck did they graduate from college as an electrical engineer if they do not understand principles of electronics? Its amazing that any products actually get designed and produced with all the incompetent people on the job. There are always at least two tools in every project.

Engineers who want you to hold their hand through every meaningless task. Get some backbone, stop being a pussy. There is always at least one gun-shy individual in every project.

Engineers who suck cock more than they engineer. Seriously, get off the managers dick. If you get his dick any further down your throat we will have to shove a plumbing snake up your ass to dislodge his penis from your small intestine. Always at least three in a project.

There is more but I just pissed myself off and need to take my frustration out on my work. Probably wouldn't drive any GM products for model 2006 if I were you.

Somewhat related story

About three weeks ago a woman at work put a cookie in the microwave oven and nuked it for about five minutes. However, she got distracted and forgot to stop it.

We noticed this when the entire room (it's pretty big, around 50 feet by 20 feet by 12 feet high) is FULL of smoke pouring out of the microwave. I only wish I thought to get pictures but instead I was too busy dragging a fire extinguisher into the room expecting an electrical fire.

Turns out the source of the smoke was the fat burning from the cookie.

Afterwards, I put up a sign with a picture of Smokey the Bear saying "Only you can prevent office fires!".

What the fuck what she nuking a cookie for 5 minutes for?!?!

What a moron.

We had someone here do something similar to that (ie - trying to burn down our office by retarded microwave operation). He put a foil wrapped fast food hamburger in the microwave to reheat. Filled the kitchen with smoke and left the nastiest smell.

Sirensa wrote:What the fuck what she nuking a cookie for 5 minutes for?!?!

What a moron.

We had someone here do something similar to that (ie - trying to burn down our office by retarded microwave operation). He put a foil wrapped fast food hamburger in the microwave to reheat. Filled the kitchen with smoke and left the nastiest smell.

Arclight in the Microwave

Todays peeve is: Engineers who think they are document designers. xZiBiT just reminded me of my engineer hate today.

Oh yeah, forgot one..

Guys who go into the rest room, flush the toilet, take a piss, then walk away.. Uh.. jackass, you mixed the steps up. Flush the shit AFTER you use it.

You'd be amazed how many people do this. Or as a variation, flush while they're pissing, but the flush finishes before they do. Like I really want to walk up to a urinal / toilet full of your piss. I'm surprised they remember to unzip their pants before starting to piss.

Engineers who have time to waste designing documents are the same ones who couldn't engineer their way out of a wet paper bag. Excuse the cliche.

Give me a template that I can copy/paste into and I'm happy. Unless its a operator/instruction manual no one bothers reading documentation anyways. Thats what administrative assistants are for.

People who don't wash their hands after using the rest room. I keep a list of these gross fuckers.

People who spy.

People who fucking tell me to eat time. I have to meet productivity standards, you know?

any of you homos touch MY screen....and I'll kill you.

people who have to make their problems a public broadcast announcement.

Administrative assistants who ask others to "cascade" emails

I don't give a bung if Joe Blow in Plant 5 is retiring. If they is more then an acquaintance to me than I should be aware they are leaving/being promoted/retiring/having a child already.

IT spams
Yes, I read the first 6 e-mails regarding the virus alert, I guess i can delete the other 12 warnings i have in my inbox

Not being able to send or receive .zip/.rar/.tar/.exe files because IT cannot do its job

Receiving 10+MBytes attachments because the inability to use file compression and/or people add bitmaps to documents

Taking the time to Rar/zip files, change the extension to .doc, and writing out detailed instructions about changing the extension and bypassing the email filter, only to have the person call 5 minutes later and ask why Office cannot open "C:\My Documents\myfile.zip.doc"

The crust on your chair right where your package is. I know I didn't spooge, but it looks like I did. Its on everyone's chair.

Candy grabbers. Take some, not all the candy. Fuckers.

People asking for collections. I'm sorry so and so lost their Uncle, but I need this $5 to buy more candy that you fucking stole.

Joke distributors. They better be funny.

Speaker Phone users in their cube. You are in your fucking cube, pick up the handset. I usually start singing until they pick up. Something by Corey Hart or Rick Astley does the trick.

game players that hide it. Stop it. We know you play solitare. Don;t freak when I wlak by. . just play. Pussy.

Seebs wrote:The crust on your chair right where your package is. I know I didn't spooge, but it looks like I did. Its on everyone's chair.

LOL dude... wtf??? Sounds like you got some leakage problems cus I sure as fuck haven’t seen that shit anywhere.

I hate the smell of Popcorn and burnt popcorn is the fuckin worst.

People touching my screen makes me wanna stab their eyes out.

People that sneeze or cough and don’t cover their mouths.

People that read my screens.

People that LICK THEIR FUCKING FINGERS when they are flipping through papers. That shit is seriously nasty.

Chicks that use their teef when they are giving head.

Seebs wrote:Candy grabbers. Take some, not all the candy. Fuckers.

Grrrr I hate candy grabbers!! We have a bowl of candy and there are some particular people who come through right after 8am, pick out all the chocolates, then whine every hour later that there aren't any chocolates left... as if they didn't just fucking eat them all.

CANDY BEGGARS CAN'T BE FUCKIN' CHOOSY! Piglets.

xZiBiT wrote: Not being able to send or receive .zip/.rar/.tar/.exe files because IT cannot do its job

Come now, surely you know that's because you can't stop people opening and running that shit, regardless of what you tell them Well, okay, you can.. but lets see how much you complain when I lock down your windows interface to only be able to run the 4 programs I know you need to do your job...

Pet peeve: Anyone high maintenance; those particular individuals that *always* require more attention from IT, their boss, their co-workers, etc by at least an order of magnitude.

My old personell manage would sit on his fat, tubby ass and read the newspaper all 60% of the day and comment on Billy Connelly, then spend the other 40% walking around looking at everyones screen.

Fat personell managers who take MY book out of MY fucking hands, when Im on lunch and kick, like a fucking footballer, it across the damn room. WTF, I'm not allowed to learn, please..please stop me trying to be smart!

xZiBiT wrote:Administrative assistants who ask others to "cascade" emails



IT spams
Yes, I read the first 6 e-mails regarding the virus alert, I guess i can delete the other 12 warnings i have in my inbox

Not being able to send or receive .zip/.rar/.tar/.exe files because IT cannot do its job

Receiving 10+MBytes attachments because the inability to use file compression and/or people add bitmaps to documents

Taking the time to Rar/zip files, change the extension to .doc, and writing out detailed instructions about changing the extension and bypassing the email filter, only to have the person call 5 minutes later and ask why Office cannot open "C:\My Documents\myfile.zip.doc"

Its not ITs fault you and your coworkers are fucking morons. Your network probably wouldn't even be running if they didn't send those 6 e-mails a day and didn't strip attatchments. You wanna sit here and bitch about so and so not being able to do this or that, you think that same person is going to be smart enough not to open my picture.zip.exe? Them disallowing compressed files and sending you 20 emails a day is them DOING THEIR JOB smart one.

Coming in to work the next day and finding KFC boxes, crumbs, and coke spills on my desk. It happened twice before it stopped completely, I dumped coke on everyones desk on my isle as I promised I would if it happened again. Asshole, yes, but one with a clean desk.

I Don't work in an office anymore but here's something that bugs the shit out of me working in the Trades, when my co-workers go into my tool bag/Bucket and take my Gear without asking me, STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY TOOLS! Nothing pisses me off more than to see my seventy dollar aluminum Pipe wrench laying on the floor getting kicked around and walked on.

Big, fat, sweaty people who leave semi-permanent handprints all over my desk. WTF do these people slough that, mixed with profuse sweat, turns into fucking plaster of paris?

Mplor wrote:Big, fat, sweaty people who leave semi-permanent handprints all over my desk. WTF do these people slough that, mixed with profuse sweat, turns into fucking plaster of paris?

Skin cells...

People who use their speaker phones in their cubicle. God gave you a handset for a reason.

A corollary: People who play music through their PC speakers. God gave you headphones for a reason.

Popcorn smelling up the whole fucking office, especially when I am really hungry or have just stuffed my gut (read: 98% of the time... high metabolism). We have a microwave in the cafeteria if you want to cook that shit, use it.

People who leave their special project paper on top of the standard white 8.5x11 paper in the copier. Get that shit out of there. I'm sick of fucking with the copier settings for 2 minutes just to see my job come out on your watermarked/florescent/oversized paper.

People who turn into Bill O'Reilly on their lunch breaks, and speak loud enough so you can hear them talk out their ass from three tables away.

Chatty people you have nothing in common with who sit across from your cube. I know you don't get out much lady, and I'm sure you must be very lonely, but I honestly couldn't care less your son bowled a 150 last night. Can't you see I have a fucking job to do? 150 isn't even that great of a score. If it came down to it I could probably out bowl you and your son blindfolded with a hand tied behind my back, directly after my remaining free hand was thrust into a rusty bear trap. Save it for someone who is actually listening.

Heard from my desk almost daily:

"Who took my stapler again!" I don't care if it's nicer than yours and works right every time- it's MY damn stapler.

(This is NOT an Office Space reference either.)

PS- Nice one, Winnow- that made me laugh!

People who take my shit and don't bring it back to me. I end up looking for equipment for a fucking hour.

Also, there is this guy that likes to talk to me while I work. Leave me alone! I don't like you!

The ass holes that want to hold a meeting in the restroom. Im standing there trying to take a piss and someone walks up and wants to talk about a fuckin project while I got willy in my hands. I dont know about anyone else but one of the MAN rules of the mid west are the moment I walk into a bathroom my personal space increases by 5 and for god sakes dont slap me on the back while Im pissing.

Hello from cube-city!

I work in an office with about 30 other people. Through sheer luck, I managed to secure a space by the windows, which makes me very happy. Recently, they moved someone to the vacated cube on the other side of me. The reason why she was moved became quite apparent after just a few short weeks. The girl has absolutely NO social skills, whatsoever! I should have known, since she's on my branch, but I don't really talk to her... go figure. She is the most annoying person I have ever encountered in my 30 years of life on this planet. Here is a list of things she does that annoy the shit out of me:

1. Always has headphones on, so she is not aware of her envirnment and those around her.
2. Eats hard candies. I had to break her of this habit when she would eat several consecutive Jolly Ranchers. I don't know which is worse; the sound of the wrappers, her crunching, or her smacking her lips whilst sucking away.
3. Eats at her desk. She has no friends and I don't think she even knows where the cafeteria is. The worst is when she eats carrots.
4. Eats with her mouth open. I can hear her through the cube walls.
5. Uses an old Evian bottle for her water.
6. Uses a straw to drink from said bottle.
7. Lipstick from said straw gets on the inside of the bottle.
8. Lipstick that gets on the spigot of the water cooler from filling up her water bottle.
9. Works on her dissertation exclusively. Her responsibilities are very limited because no body trusts her to do the work. She's not a team player. Since I've started working here over three years ago, I can't tell you what else she has done, and her dissertation hasn't even been published yet!
10. She talks loudly. This is not limited to office conversation. She also talks very loudly about personal issues on the phone. I could care less about her personal life, why her menstrual cycle is off, the health of her relatives, and relationships with those relatives.
11. She wears black to the office or dark colors almost every day! She's not goth, but her fashion sense is horrid.
12. She wears WAY too much makeup.
13. She stinks... Not sure if she's wearing perfume to cover up her stench or if it's the perfume itself that stinks.
14. She burps, a lot. I always know when it's coming. She eats her 'lunch' usually around 3:30 and downs two cans of coke... making sure to get ever drop with her straw. Uhhhgg!
15. When talking to her, she doesn't hesitate to inturrupt what you're saying to give her own thoughts.
16. She says 'Exactly' way too many fucking times.
17. She doesn't come when we're celebrating someone's b-day in our office. How fucking hard is it to be cordial?

Oh... and she touches my screen!

Brittney wrote:Chicks that use their teef when they are giving head.

In general or at the office only?

Outside of the odd useless co-worker who doesn't even come close to doing their fair share of the work, I've really only got one major pet peeve.

That's the person in the office next to me (I'm in a cubicle, but he's in an office with a door and all that fancy stuff). He checks his messages using speaker phone and has it up on bust...and he makes all his phone calls on speaker phone. Doesn't help that he talks loudly too. Nice guy and all...but man that annoys the crap out of me.

Oh yeah...and people who call me using hands free...I pick up the phone and say hello...they don't hear me because they were making noise or something...they pick up the phone...and expect me to say hello again. So my new approach to this is to say hello once. If they don't say something within about 5-7 seconds, I hang up. I probably didn't explain that very well...but it drives me nuts.

And the whole...taking the last bit of water from the cooler and not changing the bottle. I realize some people can't lift it, but there's enough people around it who can...and who repeatedly tell people that they'll change it for them if someone tells them it's empty.

And the people who find it necessary to fill up the coffee/tea pots from the water cooler first thing in the morning so that when I go to get a drink, the best I can hope for is warm water cause the bottle was just changed...and the worst is an empty cooler looking at me with it's dead eyes (like Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman).

Apparently there's more than one thing that drives me nuts. I'll cut off there though cause I'm becoming fairly convinced that I could rant on about this subject all day.

Narmgarf

Mort wrote:A female CSR who clicks her pen to death while she's on the phone.... Im going to wait another 30 seconds before I grab it and stab her in the fucking neck with it.

no you won't because if you had the nerve to do that, you'd have the nerve to and would long have stood up and asked her to not click that pen as it annoys you.



my list is short

-people who make problems out of nothing
-people who can't take or give critisism without getting emotional
-people who are afraid to voice their oppinion on something that annoys them and then burst out in a fit when "the last drop" fills their little pot of anger
-people who are petty
-uh and eating noises when it's really quiet, making the eating noise all to easy to concentrate on

My worst one is the 2 guys down the hall I have to deal with on a daily basis.
I think the saying is, "You ask what time is it and they tell you how to build a watch".
You ask them the color of grass and 30 minutes later you walk away with no fucking clue what color the grass is.

Second: Screen watchers

Third: Cell phones. Not in THIS fucking office you dont!

Fourth: Speaker phone. If I answer a call and the person has me on speaker I do the; "Hello?....Hello??!.....Hello?!?!"
If they dont pick up the line like a normal person I just hang up.
And nupe I dont give a shit who it is, big boss_type_dude or not.

There was this woman named Phyllis at a former job of mine. Several times a day, she would make her rounds around the building, pointing people out to nobody in particular. You could hear her coming around to all the offices.

"There's Jim!"

"There's Laura!"

"There's Chris!"

"There's Steve! Steve's working on something!"

"There's Jacqui!"

"There's Dave!"

"There's Jessi! She looks busy!"

It's not like she was in charge of attendance or anything. I have no real idea why she did this. All I know is that it was annoying as all fuck. Like squeaking styrofoam on styrofoam.

Annoying laughs and people who clip their fingernails.

Man, if I had the hangups you guys did I'd go insane... quickly.

Glad I don't.