Sylvus' Poetry Corner

[Sylvus]

I'm so bored today that I wrote a little poem. I know it doesn't need those commas, I was just trying to get the cadence down properly and I'm too lazy to remove them.


As darkness fell, across the dell, a man began to wonder
"If I were to dance, without my pants, would that be a blunder?"
As hard as he tried, he couldn't decide, though he quite wracked his brain
"Will the townsfolk, know it's a joke, or will they think I'm insane?"

Across the town, wearing a frown, a woman began to cry
"I feel like hell, Heartbreak Hotel, so lonely that I could die"
What she could do, she hadn't a clue, to repair her aching soul
"I guess that I'll walk, along the block, and clear my head with a stroll"

The man took a drink, to help himself think, soon he had made up his mind
"It's not a gaffe, people will laugh, when they see my behind"
Jeans on the floor, he opened the door, and strode off into the night
"Sans-dungarees, the wind on my knees, what an hilarious sight!"

The woman meanwhile, so far from a smile, had taken a turn for the worse
"I'm eight blocks from home, sad and alone, and seem to've forgot my purse"
With no phone or keys, not even CC's, she stood on the brink of despair
"I'll walk up that ridge, onto the bridge, and throw myself off; I don't care!"

The man walked along, humming a song, dancing his own little jig
"This freedom is great, why did I wait? I feel like I've been such a prig."
With toes a-tappin', and naughty bits flappin', something still wasn't quite right.
"I need to find one, who likes to have fun, to join me this glorious night."

Perched on the ledge, right near the edge, the woman was getting cold feet.
"I'm sick of this life, I'm nobody's wife, but can I admit defeat?"
Her mascara running, she saw someone coming, and could not believe her eyes
"That man over there, he's covered with hair, and not just his head but his thighs!"

Approaching the span, that mostly-nude man, he noticed the woman in peril.
"Excuse me Miss, please don't do this, come down and talk. Hi, I'm Darrel."
The woman, in shock, just stared at his... socks, 'til finally she cracked a smile.
"I'm kind of a prude, don't meant to be rude, but it appears that you're a gentile."

The man thought this jest was simply the best and fell in love right on the spot
"I'm such a buffoon, I know it's too soon, but I'd like it if we tied the knot."
The woman was floored, to feel so adored, immediately out of her funk
"I love you too, and I'll say 'I do', but first you should cover your junk."


Please feel free to be creative (bored) in this thread.

[Fash]

Haha... pretty cool, man. I ain't one for poetry, ain't one for prose, but after enjoying sparty's stories with his renders, I can appreciate it.

[Sirensa]

That was cute

I'm kinda bored too. It's super gorgeous out which makes it worse (being Friday afternoon).

I'm set to be laid off from work, so I really have no motivation to be productive. At this point, I don't even have anything urgent in my inbox.

One can only troll so much myspace (Hi Stragi-its-really-your-butt), news sites (yawn), and msg boards before I am COMPELLED to sneak out early (having just returned from a 2 hour lunch )

Note: I'm not the slightest bit creative. And I'm not bored enough to try

[Kilmoll the Sexy]

How about some haiku?

Too many lefties
Forums too predictable
Time to unban Cart

[Winnow]

This board is run by
sandal wearing hippie freaks
Cart's booting unjust

[Sylvus]

he asked to be banned
and he's a total douchebag
quit being such fags

[Fash]

nay sir they will not
being fags is part of it
watch your butt hole dude

[Spang]

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
While wiping his chin,
He said with a grin,
"If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it."

[rhyae]

There once was a man who said cunt
more than all other words or affronts
he asked to be banned
and was readily canned
all you sissies can do now is grunt.

[Fash]

Three blind mods,
See how they ban!
They all went after a guy with no life,
Who threw expletives and feces to deal with his strife,
Did you ever see such a sight in your life,
As three blind mods?

[Funkmasterr]

there once was a mean little teen
who's favorite color was green
he ranted and raved on page after page
but the united states cock, he can suck it

[Funkmasterr]

Here is a tale of a place you can go
And run off your mouth to some folks you don't know
This place came to be when some blokes
Had a big problem with jokes
That some may call crude, so we said "fuck you!"
And started our own little home
Now years have gone by, we've laughed and some cried
We've fought like a big bunch of babies
Some of us poke, and some of us joke
And some I'm convinced - they have rabies
But our number 1 is of course to have fun
At the expense of those who annoy us
But vagina's get sandy, and friends come in handy
When there's someone you want to get rid of
So you all joined your hands, and developed your plans
To cast out the one you abhor
But this I implore, re-open the door, and let back the one we called cart
And to those who will say "fuck you, no way!"
Pull your skirt down, your pussy is stinking
Cause like many say, in a plethora of ways
This is VV, and drama's our game, bitch!

[cadalano]

this one helped me through some hard times when i was an adolescent

roses are red, violets are blue
eat shit and die

-Dr. Seuss

[*~*stragi*~*]

a b c d
e f
g
h i j k
l m
n o
p
q r s
t u
v
w x
y and z
now i know my
a
b
c's
next time won't you
sing




w/ me

[masteen]

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air!'

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air