VeeshanVault

So anyway, I'm reading this script some schmuck sent in to us today, and it contains the following line of description. I'm totally serious:

Jersey LEAPS over the railing and into the back of a FANCY SPORTS CAR. The officer shouts at him, and then a CHASE SEQUENCE begins. This goes on for maybe 15 minutes, and has lots of cool special effects.

Yes, some asshole had the gall to write 120 pages of this shit and send it in for our consideration. Simon has it easy; he only has to hear people sing for 30 seconds at most. I have to read and review every one of these half-assed scripts every time the next Tarantino or Ritchie wannabe decides he wants to waste my time.

Oh, and who the fuck names his main character "Jersey?"

Millie wrote:Oh, and who the fuck names his main character "Jersey?"

A Kevin Smith fan?

I was on the phone for almost 2 hours trying to figure out wtf a guy's Palm wouldn't sync. I had him do everything short of replacing the system board. Finally, I decided to go back to the basics, and when I got to the part where I have him describe the cable, so I'll know for certain whether it is serial or USB. I figure out (with NO help from him) that he purchased a serial-to-USB adapter cable...which won't work for shit with Win 2000.

"But it worked fine on my Win 98 machine!" he says.

Millie wrote:Oh, and who the fuck names his main character "Jersey?"

Ugly Coyotes

Do you have to read past the first page or two?

btw main character in Coyote Ugly was named Jersey

Shaerra wrote:

Millie wrote:Oh, and who the fuck names his main character "Jersey?"

A Kevin Smith fan?

More like someone to wants to insult Kevin Smith's legacy.

And yes, for those who are wondering, "Jersey" in this script is a man. I can halfway see a girl's being named Jersey (a la Coyote Ugly), but an action hero? Come on.

i'm preparing the commercial breaks for 2 of our international channels should we go to war.

and just to clarify what that means:

we cut down from about 9 minutes of break time per hour to 4. none of the spots in those breaks are advertisers (some advertisers may not want to pull their spots, but typically, most advertisers pull their spots in situations like this).

anyway, it is boring because there are like 6 different promos that are approved for 'wartime' use. promos that are approved for wartime use tend to be very generic, basic things without any dramatic footage.

Please tell me the caps were yours for emphasis and not actually written into the script.

Sylvus wrote:Please tell me the caps were yours for emphasis and not actually written into the script.

Oh, those caps were there, all right. And then some.

sounds like a good script for next Stallone movie

LOL OMG I think I broke a rib....


Shaerra wrote..
"I was on the phone for almost 2 hours trying to figure out wtf a guy's Palm wouldn't sync"

I must be really tired.. But that looks dirty as hell.

Get with the program, that's got Vin Diesel's name all over it.

BTW Millie.. Glad my script made it to ya.

I have yet to see Vin Diesel movie heh, sorry Sylvus I'll do better

I don't see what's wrong with that script. Sell it to Jerry Bruckheimer, only change Jersey to Dirk Flagsaluter, and FANCY SPORTS CAR to HUMVEE.

I was going to suggest the name be changed to Max Power.

Millie, isn't using CAPS like that in scripts pretty standard tho? I seem to recall seeing them used as such somewhere.

I imagine I know a thing or two about good movie scripts. Why, here's an excerpt from "My Dinner With Dregor," a script I wrote myself:

We are in Dregor and Aranuil's apartment. DREGOR, late 20s, is crouched near the telephone, gorging himself on a pint of Haagen Dazs ice cream. He is listening to the messages on the answering machine.

The door opens, and ARANUIL, 20-something and scruffy, walks in.

DREGOR: Aranuil...

ARANUIL: Yes, darling?

DREGOR: Who's Steve?

ARANUIL: Steve? Uh, he's uh...he's new to town. I was showing him around. He hasn't been here very long...

DREGOR: ...Long enough to GET YOUR NUMBER!

Dregor sobs, then runs into the bedroom and slams the door.

shitcan that, no bean dip

not as good as my script for a silent film shot from the 1st person perspective of a blind man

Millie wrote:And yes, for those who are wondering, "Jersey" in this script is a man. I can halfway see a girl's being named Jersey (a la Coyote Ugly), but an action hero? Come on.

Maybe they're trying (failing) to copy studly names like "Tex" or "Indy"? hehe

The new Starbucks Toffee Nut Latte's are super tastee

Hi, I'm Steve

Look Steve, I gotta Wallet!

She touched my Pepe, Steve.