VeeshanVault

I fucking hate dating and all the drama that goes with it.

Vote honestly, if you hung out with and started to like somebody and then found out that your friends hated her/him, whether it was for a good reason or not, would you continue to see that person?

Hell yes.

It depends why the hate is there though.

A buddy pissed that you go out less with them because you have a new significant other is different than a friend pissed because your new significant other killed their mother and the case was thrown out because of a technicality.

There are some variables to consider. The poll question would be better phrased as, "Are there certain circumstances that you would deem acceptable to date someone your friends hated?"

Are your friends a bunch of slugs and upset you're not drinking a 40 with them in the Shop-Mart parking lot or are they mad because your new GF got you hooked on heroin? It matters.

Winnow wrote:Hell yes.

It depends why the hate is there though.

A buddy pissed that you go out less with them because you have a new significant other is different than a friend pissed because your new significant other killed their mother and the case was thrown out because of a technicality.

There are some variables to consider. The poll question would be better phrased as, "Are there certain circumstances that you would deem acceptable to date someone your friends hated?"

Are your friends a bunch of slugs and upset you're not drinking a 40 with them in the Shop-Mart parking lot or are they mad because your new GF got you hooked on heroin? It matters.

Yeah, the question as posed is entirely too vague to have an opinion. The short answer is yes I would, but the real answer would be highly dependent upon a number of factors you've not made clear.

Yes I would, and then a year later I'd realise they were right and regret it.

probably.

I voted no because I trust my friends.. however if we were just talking about "acquaintances" I would vote yes..
the people that I truly consider friends would not hate someone without good reason, in fact most of my friends don't hate anyone ;p

I did! (Although they didn't necessarily say so when I started dating her). Thankfully, I listened and got out of the relationship. Though I did have to deal with the bitch trying to kill herself. Oh teh drama!!1!1!

Yes.

Your friends will come and go and change almost as often as you change your underwear. The right relationship could last the rest of your life. Why risk throwing away the right person because a "friend" is opinionated?

Yes. But you should probably keep an open mind if your friends deeply despise them.
Unfortunately most of the time if you are enamored of someone you won't listen to your friends until it's too late anyway.
For example:
I dated, married and then divorced a man my friends hated with a passion.
But I'm simple folk.

Morgrym wrote:The right relationship could last the rest of your life.

So do the right friends

My answer is - It all depends

Morgrym wrote:Yes.

Your friends will come and go and change almost as often as you change your underwear. The right relationship could last the rest of your life. Why risk throwing away the right person because a "friend" is opinionated?

Actually my friends are more likely to last the rest of my life than any lover. I would still date someone against their advice. But I wouldn't ignore their advice entirely.

Arborealus wrote:Actually my friends are more likely to last the rest of my life than any lover. I would still date someone against their advice. But I wouldn't ignore their advice entirely.

Same answer as this.

bro's before ho's yo

Honestly, I chose no. It just never works out for anyone. I've seen it happen enough with my friends to know never to do it.

If you have to come here to justify it, the answer is No.

"Bro's before Ho's" perhaps but times change.

I remember a group of us constantly ragging on one of our mutual friends because he was stuck in a relationship in college while the rest of us were partying.

He ended up marrying her and has a great family life many years later so sacrificing his college party years was the best move.

You've got to make your own decisions. Take into consideration what your friends have to say but don't take their opinion over your own as long as you are capable of rational thought and stepping back to view the bigger picture and not just a snapshot in time.

Again, it all depends on "why". Is the person genuinely evil or bad, or did they just disrupt something for your other friends that wasn't going to last anyway (such as college party days).

Everything isn't black and white. What you don't want to do is alienate your long time friends completely. "Bro's before Ho's" goes the other way as well. Your long time friends should eventually understand circumstances have changed and adjust, again, depending on variables.

Bro's don't swallow. Ho's do.

Depends on the last time you got laid. The longer without then the easier it is date someone. i.e. Your standards go down over time.

Not here to justify it, because I already decided not to go through with it.

It was mostly my best friend (who happens to be a girl and who is NOT jealous, I promise that's not it) who had the whole hate thing going on.

My friend's family did a lot of favors for this girl, I mean a LOT. She stayed with them when she had nowhere to go, they gave her money, food, a phone to use, etc etc. They supported her, basically.

Then my friend finds an E-mail left open from this girl that really really bashes her and her family, who is like a second family to me as well.

My friend didn't come right out and say what had happened at first, she basically told me she didn't like the girl and we wouldn't work together and I deserved better, you know all those lines. I finally got it out of her (my friend) though, and made my decision after that.

I mean, it was nothing that had anything to do with me, but I still couldn't go through with it, so it's been broken off.

I was just wondering if you guys considered your friend's opinions when dating is all.

I had the opposite problem years ago.
I was dating a girl that all my friends loved.
They loved her in the parking lot. They loved her in the back ally. They even all loved her at once.
Ever since then I had no problem dating girls they hated.

woot double post!

Knarlz wrote:I had the opposite problem years ago.
I was dating a girl that all my friends loved.
They loved her in the parking lot. They loved her in the back ally. They even all loved her at once.
Ever since then I had no problem dating girls they hated.

Not to laugh at your misfortune but I just came inches from dousing my monitor with Sierra Mist.

Nick wrote:Yes I would, and then a year later I'd realise they were right and regret it.

probably.

so true. i've dated guys that turned out to be total shits and my friends either said something and i ignored them, or they didn't say anything until AFTER i found out the hard way because they didn't want to bring me down.

i put a lot of faith into the opinions of my friends, but these are people i've known for 15+ years who have proven themselves not to be assholes.

Note: take Sheryl's friends on an all expense paid cruise before popping the question.

The question / answer is different for women/men. Men are jerks all around, so women should listen to their friends. Men just want to get laid and will say they dislike the girl so you don't date her.. then they'll go after her themselves.

Siji wrote:The question / answer is different for women/men. Men are jerks all around, so women should listen to their friends. Men just want to get laid and will say they dislike the girl so you don't date her.. then they'll go after her themselves.

Yeah, but women have their own pettiness. Jealousy between girl friends is often an issue. Also, some women will just not "like a guy" because he isn't rich enough or cute enough....

I'll be the first to admit that I'm pretty shallow at first impressions.

I won't date a girl if I don't think she's cute, physical attraction plays a big part in who I do or don't date.

Oh, and I'm picky with what I find attractive too, heh. My friends say I'm robbing myself of a lot of good relationships, but hey, what am I going to do?

Call me an asshole but I can't help it I just can't get into a girl (not literally) if I don't think she's attractive.

I have one friend (gee i wonder who) that I would drop a girl for, if it came to that. But it never has before.

I also saw a girl on campus today in a pink sorority t-shirt. On the back it said, "Sisters before Misters." I rofl'd at her internally.

"Shallow" is a word invented by the same people that say you should wait until you're married to have sex. Fuck no I won't date somebody that I do not think is hot. Call me shallow. I'll call you a sexless faggot. God damn I take tremendous pride when people say I have bad morals. Loving sexual intercourse does not make me a monster. Fuck.

As for the poll, I can personally relate. My girlfriend is really quiet around most people and as such is difficult to get to know or be friends with. If my friends were to openly tell me that they don't like her, I would step back a bit and see if what they're saying has worth, and if they're right, see if I was merely infatuated. As my friends, I trust their word above my own, and I trust them to lay out clearly what I would be too biased to see myself.

It comes down to trust. The friends that would tell me they hate my girlfriend are the same people that would defend me in a fist fight or go out of their way to help me in any situation. I can't ignore such affinities. Based on that, I chose "no" for the poll.

If they hated my wife, however, I'd tell them to fuck off.

I just got out of a relationship with someone that my friends didn't like. I wouldn't say they hate her, but they thought she was selfish, neurotic, and cold-hearted. Turns out she was incredibly smart, shared many important passions, had a great sense of humor (better than most of my friends...), and was incredibly kind...though they were right about the neurosis. The relationship ended, but we are still great friends and she was well worth the time. Had I let my friends decide for me I would've never had the opportunity to get to know a great person.

I recommend going with your own experiences with said person rather than what other say about them. They could be right about some things, but you should go by your own experiences and just enjoy the moments you share and hope for more of them.

You know theres really no definite way to answer this.. It depends on a few factors.. I'll give an example..

In High School my best friend was dating a girl that myself and his other friends absolutely hated. She was an evil, cold-hearted,psychotic, possessive bitch. And for some retarded reason he was just too fucking blind to notice any of it, no matter how many times myself or his other friends tried to point it out.. She actually got violent with him.. my friend is a fucking tank. Pure brick shit house and was literally the most feared kid in H.S...yet for some reason he was a comeplete pussy with this girl and wouldn't stand up for himself.. i actually saw scratch marks on his neck that drew blood and were fresh and he tried to play it off that he cut himself shaving (4 times... exactly parallel to each other..RIGHT!)... Finally in like, March of out senior year, she dumped him.. And even after she dumped him he still refused to notice it. Finally after the few months of heartache most people go through he actually realized how much of a pyschotic bitch she was and apologized to me and our buddies for being so blind and ignoring our oppinions..

I love my friends. I have, and will continue to put their well being before my own if I had to. I'll never be spiteful of who they date even if it means hanging out with them less. But at the same time if they're dating someone who is a genuine bitch and that I can see is treating them like shit, I'm going to say something..

Moral of my rant... Dont ignore your friends advice entirely, but to base your decision solely off of it either.. Keep it in mind and see if what they're saying has any merit.

Leonaerd wrote:"Shallow" is a word invented by the same people that say you should wait until you're married to have sex. Fuck no I won't date somebody that I do not think is hot. Call me shallow. I'll call you a sexless faggot. God damn I take tremendous pride when people say I have bad morals. Loving sexual intercourse does not make me a monster. Fuck.

wow you are such a "bad boy" rofl

Leonaerd wrote:"Shallow" is a word invented by the same people that say you should wait until you're married to have sex. Fuck no I won't date somebody that I do not think is hot. Call me shallow. I'll call you a sexless faggot. God damn I take tremendous pride when people say I have bad morals. Loving sexual intercourse does not make me a monster. Fuck.

As for the poll, I can personally relate. My girlfriend is really quiet around most people and as such is difficult to get to know or be friends with. If my friends were to openly tell me that they don't like her, I would step back a bit and see if what they're saying has worth, and if they're right, see if I was merely infatuated. As my friends, I trust their word above my own, and I trust them to lay out clearly what I would be too biased to see myself.

It comes down to trust. The friends that would tell me they hate my girlfriend are the same people that would defend me in a fist fight or go out of their way to help me in any situation. I can't ignore such affinities. Based on that, I chose "no" for the poll.

If they hated my wife, however, I'd tell them to fuck off.

You really are a clueless bigot, aren't you? You prove it almost every time you post your drivel here.

hi..I'm retarded...that is all

Boogahz wrote:

Leonaerd wrote:"Shallow" is a word invented by the same people that say you should wait until you're married to have sex. Fuck no I won't date somebody that I do not think is hot. Call me shallow. I'll call you a sexless faggot. God damn I take tremendous pride when people say I have bad morals. Loving sexual intercourse does not make me a monster. Fuck.

As for the poll, I can personally relate. My girlfriend is really quiet around most people and as such is difficult to get to know or be friends with. If my friends were to openly tell me that they don't like her, I would step back a bit and see if what they're saying has worth, and if they're right, see if I was merely infatuated. As my friends, I trust their word above my own, and I trust them to lay out clearly what I would be too biased to see myself.

It comes down to trust. The friends that would tell me they hate my girlfriend are the same people that would defend me in a fist fight or go out of their way to help me in any situation. I can't ignore such affinities. Based on that, I chose "no" for the poll.

If they hated my wife, however, I'd tell them to fuck off.

You really are a clueless bigot, aren't you? You prove it almost every time you post your drivel here.

I have to defend him on this one..well sort of..

I wont date a girl I'm not physically attracted to either.. I guess I'm shallow but I cant date someone I dont find attractive both physically and mentally.

The rest of the shit he spews is retarded but that point i had to defend...although I'm not saying they have to look like jessica alba I do think they have to be cute..

I'm shallow

If your friends come and go, then date who you want.

But I've known most of my good friends since grade school. Our friendship is old enough to drink. If those guys dislike a chick enough to tell me about it, then there is probably a real issue there.

Soreali wrote:I wont date a girl I'm not physically attracted to either.. I guess I'm shallow but I cant date someone I dont find attractive both physically and mentally.

I think you always have to be attracted to someone...nothing wrong with that...

Yeah, Arb snuck in at the same time I was replying, but my question to you clowns who mention that you won't date someone you're not attracted to is: do you think that anyone does?

masteen wrote:Our friendship is old enough to drink.

I just wanted to point out that I love that line.


I also love watching Leonardo get himself all wound up! Go have an underage-drink man!

Sylvus wrote:Yeah, Arb snuck in at the same time I was replying, but my question to you clowns who mention that you won't date someone you're not attracted to is: do you think that anyone does?

Well I doubt it.. I dont think they'd be truly happy if they did.. I'm just what assclown said holds some merit.. not much and he picked a horrible way to word it, but theres nothing wrong needing to be physically attracted to someone you'd date.

Soreali wrote:

Sylvus wrote:Yeah, Arb snuck in at the same time I was replying, but my question to you clowns who mention that you won't date someone you're not attracted to is: do you think that anyone does?

Well I doubt it.. I dont think they'd be truly happy if they did.. I'm just what assclown said holds some merit.. not much and he picked a horrible way to word it, but theres nothing wrong needing to be physically attracted to someone you'd date.

That wasn't the only thing I was referring to either, since attraction itself is why you would be with a person in the first place.

Yeah, Arb snuck in at the same time I was replying, but my question to you clowns who mention that you won't date someone you're not attracted to is: do you think that anyone does?

I hear girls all the time say "looks don't matter to me, it's about personality..."

I've heard guys say it too.

Are those people just too ignorant to admit that they're shallow?

I figured I was the oddball

Neziroth wrote:

Yeah, Arb snuck in at the same time I was replying, but my question to you clowns who mention that you won't date someone you're not attracted to is: do you think that anyone does?

I hear girls all the time say "looks don't matter to me, it's about personality..."

I've heard guys say it too.

Are those people just too ignorant to admit that they're shallow?

I figured I was the oddball

Think along the lines of levels of attraction.

a favorite example of mine is in American Pie (for me at least)

Band Girl (Michelle) may not win a "most physically attractive" poll for the girls in American Pie but she more than makes up for it in personality and kink. The foreign exchange student (Nadia) seems pretty fun but both the two blondes, Vicky (fake as hell) and Heather (kind of emo/boring) would drive me batty.

"Looks don't matter" would make more sense if phrased as "looks aren't the most important thing"

You could also take a phrase from my atheist bible, The Conscience of a Hacker, by Mentor (Hacker's Manifesto):

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.

I also have only dated women I find attractive, but to me the attractiveness is not so much the body or face they were born with, but how well they take care of what they have. I will not date someone who is obese
(overweight is different) or obviously does not take care of their body.

I'm athletic, I eat healthy foods, and spend a lot of time outdoors. To me those are very important attributes to look for in a woman. From my experience a healthy body often means a healthy mind and a healthy lifestyle. This may be shallow but usually it's safe to assume that an obese, jaundiced, greasy woman probably does not treat herself well and probably doesn't share the same interests as me.

However I also am completely turned off by women who look like Barbie dolls. I like women who are not afraid to show their natural beauty and do not alter their bodies to make up for things they think are flaws. Flaws are beautiful.

Attractiveness is a composite to me...Physical appeal, Personality, Intelligence, Kindness, Compatiblity, Common Interests, Common Values, Humour (among others)...I actually find that the aspect with the greatest acceptable variability is physical appeal, for myself anyway...

To me shallow would be having any single factor so important that it made the others irrelevant (ie not appreciating the other aspects of a potential partner)...You might chose to date a person initially, based on one or more initial assessments of the factors...

As you continue to date and discover more about the person that may either add deduct to the net attractiveness...Changes over time in one's own weighting preferences and changes in those factors (actual or perceived) within the other person lead to a constant reevaluation of the relationship.

Ok hrmmmm too much hydrocodone for me...

Arborealus wrote:
Ok hrmmmm too much hydrocodone for me...

Dude! That shit is the best!

I would date someone my friends hated, if I was just doing it casually for the sake of dating/sex. As long as you can make sure the relationship stays light and doesn't evolve into anything serious, I don't think it's a big deal if you can go out and have fun.

I wouldn't get into an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with someone my friends hated, because my friends have dated girls that everyone hated, and the group has been right on all accounts so far. I've seen it happen to other people enough to know it's a bad idea.

Arborealus wrote:As you continue to date and discover more about the person that may either add deduct to the net attractiveness...

Soooo...examples of changes/allowances by adding or subtracting from net attractiveness would be something like...

Edit: trying to read my run on sentences posted last night gave me a headache.

Boogahz wrote:

Leonaerd wrote:"Shallow" is a word invented by the same people that say you should wait until you're married to have sex. Fuck no I won't date somebody that I do not think is hot. Call me shallow. I'll call you a sexless faggot. God damn I take tremendous pride when people say I have bad morals. Loving sexual intercourse does not make me a monster. Fuck.

As for the poll, I can personally relate. My girlfriend is really quiet around most people and as such is difficult to get to know or be friends with. If my friends were to openly tell me that they don't like her, I would step back a bit and see if what they're saying has worth, and if they're right, see if I was merely infatuated. As my friends, I trust their word above my own, and I trust them to lay out clearly what I would be too biased to see myself.

It comes down to trust. The friends that would tell me they hate my girlfriend are the same people that would defend me in a fist fight or go out of their way to help me in any situation. I can't ignore such affinities. Based on that, I chose "no" for the poll.

If they hated my wife, however, I'd tell them to fuck off.

You really are a clueless bigot, aren't you? You prove it almost every time you post your drivel here.

Striving to find happiness in my life without interfering with others' pursuits does not make me clueless. Ignorance is completely relative. As if any one person is able to proclaim that they themselves are not ignorant, you babbling jackass. You not being able to accept that my opinion is not the same as yours neither makes me a bigot nor proves how you are any better than I.

I am HAPPY. Prove why a lifetime of happiness in the face of adversity (read: you) is a bad thing. If you want me to be unhappy, simply say so and It'll confirm my belief that you take out real life frustrations on VV.

But you don't want me to be unhappy, jackass. You just want me to crumble and say that you're right; that I'm a bigot. Fuck you. As if bigotry means anything in the flowing stream of relevance. Bigotry now is not bigotry in the future, nor the past. It's not even worth mentioning to a closed-minded fuck like yourself that bigotry in itself is a term formed by opinion and maintained by opinion.

Dig your way out of your own fucking drivel before you assault mine.

Leonaerd wrote: I am HAPPY. Prove why a lifetime of happiness in the face of adversity (read: you) is a bad thing.

Hehehe ok I'll play the age card...You are 20 man...that is not even approaching a lifetime of happiness...no offense intended. The next 5 years will be > experience than the last 20.

If Boog = adversity then you have some monster hits ahead of you....

I was always right when I was 20 now I'm seldom so certain.

Leonaerd wrote:

Boogahz wrote:

Leonaerd wrote:"Shallow" is a word invented by the same people that say you should wait until you're married to have sex. Fuck no I won't date somebody that I do not think is hot. Call me shallow. I'll call you a sexless faggot. God damn I take tremendous pride when people say I have bad morals. Loving sexual intercourse does not make me a monster. Fuck.

As for the poll, I can personally relate. My girlfriend is really quiet around most people and as such is difficult to get to know or be friends with. If my friends were to openly tell me that they don't like her, I would step back a bit and see if what they're saying has worth, and if they're right, see if I was merely infatuated. As my friends, I trust their word above my own, and I trust them to lay out clearly what I would be too biased to see myself.

It comes down to trust. The friends that would tell me they hate my girlfriend are the same people that would defend me in a fist fight or go out of their way to help me in any situation. I can't ignore such affinities. Based on that, I chose "no" for the poll.

If they hated my wife, however, I'd tell them to fuck off.

You really are a clueless bigot, aren't you? You prove it almost every time you post your drivel here.

Striving to find happiness in my life without interfering with others' pursuits does not make me clueless. Ignorance is completely relative. As if any one person is able to proclaim that they themselves are not ignorant, you babbling jackass. You not being able to accept that my opinion is not the same as yours neither makes me a bigot nor proves how you are any better than I.

I am HAPPY. Prove why a lifetime of happiness in the face of adversity (read: you) is a bad thing. If you want me to be unhappy, simply say so and It'll confirm my belief that you take out real life frustrations on VV.

But you don't want me to be unhappy, jackass. You just want me to crumble and say that you're right; that I'm a bigot. Fuck you. As if bigotry means anything in the flowing stream of relevance. Bigotry now is not bigotry in the future, nor the past. It's not even worth mentioning to a closed-minded fuck like yourself that bigotry in itself is a term formed by opinion and maintained by opinion.

Dig your way out of your own fucking drivel before you assault mine.

Your obvious intolerance for a certain other "class" of our society in repeated posts is what I have been responding to. It has nothing to do with your choice in women. Your comment about me being closed-minded is hilarious considering the shit you post. If you want me to be more specific: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender.

No matter how smart you are or how much you've experienced early on, 24-26 seems to be the age that people start to get a grip on things. You can add that as another variable when considering the reasons why relationships break up or get back together. Generally speaking, the younger you are, the more you still need to figure out about what you value most in life personally and from a partner. You may have a very clear picture of what you want, but it still takes a few years of actually experiencing things first hand to see if the vision matches reality. Don't get hung up on me throwing out 24-26 as the age of enlightenment. It's not set in stone but gives most time to experience life post dependent/college years.