VeeshanVault

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."

TIMMAH

Three boys are sitting around talking one day about who has the braver dad.
The first boy says my dad is the bravest. He is a firefighter and saves peoples lives.
The second boy says my dad is the bravest. He is a police officer and stops the bad guys.
The last boy says my dad is the bravest. He eats light bulbs.
The other boys say "Light bulbs?"
The last boys says "Yep last night I heard him tell my mom, Turn off the light honey I am gonna eat that thing"

Man I thought someone would find that funny here. Geez.

Nothing that contains the term "battery-operated pleasure device" can be considered funny.

Next!

sorry sor, just that i heard that sex in the dark joke a long ass time ago.

Bah!

maybe if you didnt elaborate so much on the "pleasure device"