VeeshanVault

Each of these have their merits but which one comes out on top when all is said and done?

Would you choose all purpose paper towels and sacrifice your ass? Would you choose toilet paper and struggle with vomit and large spills? Perhaps something in-between like napkins that aren't quite perfect for anything yet might work for most thing?

Decision time!

Toilet paper all the way.

Would this apply to everyone or just you? If they started installing bidets everywhere then I wont mind losing TP very much.

I'm seeing no for napkins!

i use papertowels for all of those things to save money so this thread is destroyed

Paper towels all the way. You could easily substitute them for the other 3.

Wow are you all fucking retarded?

Napkins can be used as a tissue, as toilet paper, and as a paper towel. Toilet paper can't clean up shit, and it leaves a weird linty residue if you ever try to clean something with it.

Therefore, I vote for napkins.

clean up shit ... i thought that's what toilet paper was for.


but jokes aside, i'd rather have problems cleaning stuff up with easily ripped apart thin paper and have something velvety against my arse after unloading then the other way around.

Gotta go with TP.

You can usually wad enough of it up to clean most anything and I've been stuck in the field before without TP. It sucks major ass.

I guess you could use paper towels or napkins on your ass long enough to build up calluses and then it wouldn't matter, but getting there is definitely NOT half the fun.

I went with bog roll as well... we sure do have a lot of pampered arseholes on this board ><

I could more easily adapt to cleaning my house with rags than I could to cleaning my ass with scratchy paper.

i used paper towels instead of tp one time (it had to be done). the result was a clogged toilet from bounty's ultra absorbing quiltedness.

rolling papers

I clogged a toilet using napkins once. As I recall, they were Whittlesea Taxi & Limo service napkins. I survived the experience and thankfully I wasnt at home. I remember the name on the napkins because the next day after a plummer had come to fix the problem, someone yelled, "who the fuck was using whittlesea napkins in the toilet?" It was at a frat party and we were just there for the beer so I didn't feel too guilty.

Still, if the napkins were soft enough and used strategically, I'd go for the napkins overall. Using toilet paper for general cleaning purposes just gets all nasty and you end up with a wet pile of mush. You also get residue MooZilla was talking about on everyhing if you use TP for general non ass cleaning.

You could always install one of the fancy water spraying, air blowing, ass cleaning japanese toilets to solve all but the worst case toilet scenarios.

You pansies! Cavemen didn't have oh-so-soft and silky toilette paper for their asscracks! They had rocks, or leaves, or Cid's hunting fur coat... OR PAPER TOWELS.

Clench and suck it up, you soft people.

Sorry, have to go with Charmin Ultra. Fucking awesome toilet paper, I love it.

Paper towel all the way. I would wipe my ass with a porcupine before I used TP to clean up any mess. Although, most of the messes would be beer or food... A porcupine would love cleaning those up... Porcupine. I vote porcupine

Doesn't anyone use cloth towels anymore? Paper towels and napkins are a waste of money. A cloth towel for cleaning is way better than any paper towel and you can help the environment.

I could never give up my toilet paper though.

Seriously, lack of paper towels doesn't compel you to use TP for fucking everything, you bunch of DMX-raping shiteaters.

Paper Towels. I based this mainly on the question, "how much do I have to work with". If I had an unlimited supply of TP or Napkins I may have swung that way. Seeing as how I don't know how much I will have I went with the Paper Towels as they can do everything and there is more of it.

Wow I can't believe how lopsided this poll is. I was torn over which one to choose.

Leonaerd wrote:Wow I can't believe how lopsided this poll is. I was torn over which one to choose.

If you were "torn" then your dilemma must have been between paper towels and toilet paper.

I chose napkins. They're essentially paper towel but smaller, and since there's infinite amounts I can just use more if I so desire. And they're often softer than paper towel so that if I'm forced to I can wipe my ass.

The dilemma was napkins or toilet paper. But let's be honest, Charmin Triple Soft isn't going to mop up your beer spill or even get a bit of chicken noodle soup off of people when I spill piping hot chicken noodle all over myself.

Winnow wrote:

Leonaerd wrote:Wow I can't believe how lopsided this poll is. I was torn over which one to choose.

If you were "torn" then your dilemma must have been between paper towels and toilet paper.

But I like the play on words. A-

Drinsic Darkwood wrote:Paper towels all the way. You could easily substitute them for the other 3.

Yup. Soak a papertower, wring it out (carefully), pinch and shake will spread it back out to normal and its perfect use for TP, no scratchy bottom.
Disadvantage = wet bottom
Advantage = bottom is actually cleaned instead of smeared all over and clean..ish

....was in a pinch one time on a long way out in no where camping trip.

You've also only considered using the paper products for cleaning up things.

Are you omitting actual paper and the need to write things down for your hypothetical?

People still write on paper?

I think the muscles used for handwriting have atrophied so badly in my hands that merely signing my name gives me a cramp.

Truant wrote:You've also only considered using the paper products for cleaning up things.

Are you omitting actual paper and the need to write things down for your hypothetical?

I wasn't going the extreme of having no other paper products. You could use writing paper, paper plates, a paper grocery bag, maybe even Q-Tips to wipe your ass if you wanted to. I suppose that's part of the consideration if you would be comfortable susbstituting something else for toilet paper or paper towels in order to justify choosing one of the four options.