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Bad jokes.

Posted: December 19, 2002, 5:58 pm
by Metanis
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Why does a man have a hole in his penis?
To get some air to his brain.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
One US leader.

How can you tell when a man's had an orgasm?
From the snoring.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
Because Janet Reno is her real father.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick.

What does parsley and pubic hair have in common?
You push it aside and keep on eating!

How did the tugboat get AIDs?
It was rear-ended by a ferry.

What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like?
Depends...

Define "Egghead:"
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.

What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!

What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex.

What two words will clear out a men's restroom?
"Nice Dick!"

What's the definition of indefinitely?
When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you're in...definitely!

Mom's have Mother's Day,
Father's have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
They're both filled with stiffs, only one's coming and one's going.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!

How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.

How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.

Posted: December 19, 2002, 7:19 pm
by Sionistic
yea, those are pretty bad

Posted: December 20, 2002, 11:07 am
by Burke
Why didn't Hitler drink?

Vodka made him mean.

Even worse jokes!

Posted: December 20, 2002, 4:37 pm
by Metanis
Questions And Answers.

1. What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity.
***************
2. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
***************
3. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.
***************
4. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
***************
5. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
caring, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
**************
6. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
***************
7. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
**************
8. What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
**************
9. Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
refrigerator.
**************
10. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has
the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
**************
11. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your Mom.
**************
12. What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
Say, "Nice Dick."
**************
13. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
*************
14. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
**************
15. What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
**************
16. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
***************
17. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
**************
18. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than
the other?
A speech impediment.
***************
19. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
****************
20. What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage, along with a recipe.
***************
21. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
Row row row your boat.
***************
22. What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern
fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairytale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Posted: December 20, 2002, 4:50 pm
by Aabidano
Most common redneck last words:

"Hey y'all, watch this..."