VeeshanVault

story passed on to me via email:


I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?

On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the black guy was going to have to have help as he laughingly staggered to the door

ok

Thanks for sharing!

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I'm still nearly as drunk as I was when I went to sleep.

And by sometimes, I mean today.

I haven't had that happen in years. Does that feeling still come with the taste of stale beverages and a dry feeling in your mouth?

Yeah.

I feel like ass right now.

Sylvus wrote:Yeah.

I feel like ass right now.

Yeah? Well, you can't have any.

Drolgin is my perfect diet

I haven't had that happen in years. Does that feeling still come with the taste of stale beverages and a dry feeling in your mouth?

Happened to me a month ago, I could taste Johnny Walker Black Label all day, it was not a pleasant experience. Hope you feel better

Sylvus wrote:Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I'm still nearly as drunk as I was when I went to sleep.

And by sometimes, I mean today.

Man, that's good shit. I haven't done that in a while.

Mr. Red Phone, next time you come to the ATL, we're getting a bottle of Blue Label.

I took a sip of stale beer last night.

Canelek wrote:I took a sip of stale beer last night.

eww musky!

I had to drink Michelob Ultras last night...thought I was high on mothballs for awhile there.

This was a Miller High Life that a friend of mine had brought over and subsequently left. It had been in there for a few days. Gotta pay attention to what I drink. =/

I woke up as drunk as last night and almost puked this morning. Goddamn hunch punch, too much sugar.

Vaemas wrote:Mr. Red Phone, next time you come to the ATL, we're getting a bottle of Blue Label.

Oh shit...you know how to sweet talk me!

I drank a 5th of three olives last night and fell asleep in denny's for 30min, i got free sprite tho