Online medical tests..
Posted: July 23, 2006, 11:49 am
If this is any example, no wonder people are over-disagnosing everything.
http://depression.about.com/cs/diagnosi ... enquiz.htm
All yes/no answers.
Q: Do you feel sad or irritable? (What, right now, sometimes, ever? can anyone answer no?)
Q: Have you lost interest in activities once enjoyed? (Well, I really used to enjoy eating dirt and worms, so umm yes?)
Q: Have you experienced changes in weight or appetite? (Again, what? I think I was about 10 pounds at birth, 150 in high school, and like 220 now. So, yes again?)
Q: Have you experienced changes in sleeping pattern? (No, my sleeping pattern has always been poor. Or is that a yes cause I don't have a pattern, I just have continual changes.. hell, yes.)
Q: Do you have feelings of guilt? (Nope, I'm a sociopath. I never feel guilty, no matter how much they scream and cry and beg for mercy while I'm cutting them. *sigh* sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, that's a yes).
Q: Are you unable to concentrate, remember things, or make decisions? (Hrmm, there's an OR there, so given I occasionally forget birthdays, that's a yes).
Q: Have you experienced fatigue or loss of energy? (well, it's going on 1am and I have a cold or the flu or something at the moment, so yes, I'm a little fatigued. IS THAT A FUCKING ISSUE?)
Q: Have you experienced restlessness or decreased activity noticed by others? (This is a no, that could just mean no one notices or cares enough to say something, so rather ambiguous as an indicator)
Q: Do you feel hopeless, or worthless? (Nope; if you did, would you really need a test?)
Q: Have you had thoughts of suicide or death? (I think about certain people's death all the time.... so yes.)
You answered 8 items out of 10 "Yes". According to The National Mental Health Association, 5 or more yes answers indicates that you may be suffering from clinical depression. This test cannot substitute for a visit to a mental health professional. It is meant only to give you an idea where to start a dialogue with your healthcare provider.
OMG, 8 out of 10. How depressing. SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME ZOLOFT IMMEDIATELY!!!
http://depression.about.com/cs/diagnosi ... enquiz.htm
All yes/no answers.
Q: Do you feel sad or irritable? (What, right now, sometimes, ever? can anyone answer no?)
Q: Have you lost interest in activities once enjoyed? (Well, I really used to enjoy eating dirt and worms, so umm yes?)
Q: Have you experienced changes in weight or appetite? (Again, what? I think I was about 10 pounds at birth, 150 in high school, and like 220 now. So, yes again?)
Q: Have you experienced changes in sleeping pattern? (No, my sleeping pattern has always been poor. Or is that a yes cause I don't have a pattern, I just have continual changes.. hell, yes.)
Q: Do you have feelings of guilt? (Nope, I'm a sociopath. I never feel guilty, no matter how much they scream and cry and beg for mercy while I'm cutting them. *sigh* sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, that's a yes).
Q: Are you unable to concentrate, remember things, or make decisions? (Hrmm, there's an OR there, so given I occasionally forget birthdays, that's a yes).
Q: Have you experienced fatigue or loss of energy? (well, it's going on 1am and I have a cold or the flu or something at the moment, so yes, I'm a little fatigued. IS THAT A FUCKING ISSUE?)
Q: Have you experienced restlessness or decreased activity noticed by others? (This is a no, that could just mean no one notices or cares enough to say something, so rather ambiguous as an indicator)
Q: Do you feel hopeless, or worthless? (Nope; if you did, would you really need a test?)
Q: Have you had thoughts of suicide or death? (I think about certain people's death all the time.... so yes.)
You answered 8 items out of 10 "Yes". According to The National Mental Health Association, 5 or more yes answers indicates that you may be suffering from clinical depression. This test cannot substitute for a visit to a mental health professional. It is meant only to give you an idea where to start a dialogue with your healthcare provider.
OMG, 8 out of 10. How depressing. SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME ZOLOFT IMMEDIATELY!!!
