VeeshanVault

Fuck the holiday season.

Everyone pictures a nice time with the family drinking eggnog and singing carols but here's what this miserable season really is:

-crowds of coughing, sick people in stores
-more traffic to deal with
-people at work acting like morons bringing in christmas decorations caked with the germs of 10 christmases past
-holiday parties that you don't want to be at and really are just looking to get them over with
-stress over buying the right presents when everyone should just buy a nice gift for themselves
-dealing with holiday travel
-another reason to hate a few religions for causing this mess

Christmas is not worth the hassle. There should be Thanksgiving and New Years with nothing inbetween. Thanksgiving serves the same purpose of creating a travel nightmare, getting extended families together, and causing more suicides. New Years could easily be reworked to include gifts. Fuck religious holidays. Religion is between you and your imagination. I thought praying beside your bed at night took care of all that.

The only good I see from the holiday season is getting families together...but again, Thanksgiving takes care of that social necessity. If you need to buy gifts for people, just buy more gifts on their birthday. That would spread out the purchases over the entire year and be healthier for the economy so it didn't rely so heavily on one month. You'd have less people coughing on each other waiting in lines during the flu season as well.

Screw Christmas. The idea sounds nice but it's really a pain in the ass even if you aren't conscious of it. And fuck that holiday cheer. You should be cheery all the god damned time and not need a holiday to fake it. Giving gifts is just another way to artificially make yourself feel better...like joining a "save the whales" group or something. Sure, there are exceptions. That little burnt kid in the hospital really does deserve special attention but they'd deserve it anyway, not just because it's christmas.

New Years is really there to celebrate that the holiday season is over.

I like the eggnog with rum.... Yum.

Remember the Reason for the Season:


Annual Corporate Profit Margins

crowds of coughing, sick people in stores

people still go to stores to shop? what do we have internet for???

stress over buying the right presents when everyone should just buy a nice gift for themselves

yeah this always sucks, this year I made a list of items I want and will use, my mom, brother look at me with a little crazy look we'll see if they actually will honor my wishlist or just buy random crap that they will be recieving right back the following year

Winnow = Bitter Dregs

Merry Christmas Winnie Bear!!!

christmas at my house is kind of weird in that there are almost no surprises on christmas morning. everyone in my family is so intent on buying each other things that are actually wanted and that will actually be used that we just straight out ask each other "what do you want."

it's definitely not your traditional gift exchange, but it cuts down on the gift giving stress and nobody has to return anything on december 26th.

two of my favorite things about christmas are the pecan pie and pumpkin pie after dinner. a holiday can't be all bad if it can be used as an excuse to make and eat pie!

Winnow wrote:-crowds of coughing, sick people in stores
-more traffic to deal with
-people at work acting like morons bringing in christmas decorations caked with the germs of 10 christmases past
-holiday parties that you don't want to be at and really are just looking to get them over with and escape germ-free
-stress over buying the right presents when everyone should just buy a nice gift for themselves and stay free of infections
-dealing with holiday travel and germs
-another reason to hate a few religions for causing this mess and germs

How goes the building of the Spruce Moose?

Ennia wrote: people still go to stores to shop? what do we have internet for???

No kidding, if it cant be bought online and doesnt come with free shipping it wont be at my house for the holidays.

masteen wrote: How goes the building of the Spruce Moose?

Great! This is my grocery shopping gear:

ROFL

Winnow's always got my favorite Christmas present....the pictures he posts all year long

Down with Christmas!!

Festivus for the rest of us!

I like Xmas...
I like decorating...
I like Xmas carols...
I like Xmas food and candy and cookies...
I like Xmas lights...
I like Xmas shopping...
I like warm liquory beverages on a cold winter night (ok so that one doesn't require xmas)...
I like cheesy Xmas movies...
I like putting up my Menorah to irritate Sylvos...
AND I LIKE SPREADING GOOD CHEER!!!!

so FUCK OFF SCROOGE!

And take the gay ass egg nog with you! (ok, so I hate egg nog)

Ahhh Xmas, the special time of year when we celebrate the birth of Jesus X.

I haven't been a big fan of the whole jesus part of christmas since i became a young adult, but i love the christmas season. The songs, the decorations, the snow (when i'm not driving)... it's just nice to see friends and family that you don't always see, and i love it when i can get a nice gift for someone that they appreciate.

I realize you can buy people presents anytime of the year, but people won't wonder about ulterior motives around christmas.

I'm all for it, nothing but good memories for me around christmas.

If you could limit christmas to a day or two of the actual enjoyable part spent with the family it would be ok, but the rest of the annoyances attached to the whole "holiday season" tip the scale to the suck side at least as an adult.

Christmas is like popping a happy pill but you didn't read about all of the side effects it may cause.

I'd rather take the family and friend type vacations when there isn't a holiday going on. You deal with less headaches and have more time to spend enjoying the time not standing in lines or in traffic.

I loved Xmas as a kid and if you have kids, it's definately worth the effort to make them happy.

On the brighter side, here's some christmas stories:

Ungrateful family (12/17/04) - Lynn, Baltimore, MD, Age 29

I am a stay-at-home mother with two kids, so other than what my husband makes, I have no money of my own. I scrimp and save pocket change starting in January so that when Christmas rolls around I can afford presents for my family. This year I had a little over $600.00 to spend (go, pocket change!) and got some really nice stuff for my husband, mother, our dogs and a few extras for the kids. I woke up Christmas morning and enjoyed watching everyone open their stuff, waiting till after the present frenzy to hit my own gifts. As I cleaned up the big fucking mess they left, I looked under the tree and noticed THERE WAS NOTHING THERE. I didn't even get a thank you. Not even a phone call from my mother. And to top it all off I got a "Why are you always thinking of yourself? You're SO selfish!" speech from my husband when I tried to take a shower before bringing him his THIRD piece of pie. Fuck it. Next year I'm spending it on myself.

Slight misunderstanding (12/08/05) - Cinda, Knoxville, TN, Age 22

I was with my husband for just over 2 years and for our third Christmas together, I had been planning a vacation to Hawaii for him, all his brothers and sister, and his parents. This took a LOT of planning, and I had to be pretty secretive about the whole thing. I often had to leave the house to make phone calls and arrangements. All-in-all, it took over a month to plan. Little did I know, my husband misinterpreted my sneaking out and being secretive as having an affair.

One night, 3 days until Christmas, after all the arrangements were finally done, I came home to find my husband with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, an empty bottle of whiskey, and a note saying "I know about your affair. I can't believe you'd do this to me. I'd rather die than to share you or lose you to someone else, which apparently I have." To make things worse, his family ended up blaming me, saying I shouldn't have planned the trip behind his back, and I drove him to take his own life. Worst Christmas ever!

Christmas crime confession (12/08/05) - Carmon, Virginia, Age 28

Last Christmas I had to do something I thought I would never have to do. I mean the thing is, the year before, my 5 children and I had NOTHING for Christmas…absolutely nothing. I have never committed a crime in my life, but I had to do it. I had to. I was desperate.

See, I was at Wal-Mart and some one had left her purse hanging on one of the stalls. I was the only on in there. I thought about taking it. I waited. I stalled. I thought about my 4 precious girls and my little baby boy. I so wanted them to have Christmas like all the other kids. So, I looked around. I quietly opened the zipper of the purse, took out the billfold, looked inside and saw a large sum of cash. Without counting it, I stuffed it in my pocket. Later when I got home, I hid in my room and counted out $260.00. I had to do it, for my kids. I mean they had no dad, I have no other family. I had to do it.

Thirty years of misery (12/08/05) - Anonymous, Virginia, Age 37


I can divide my life into before and after. Before Christmas when I was 8, things were not perfect but I was pretty happy and secure. Since then, my life has been 30 years of hell on earth.

Christmas morning when I was 8, I ran downstairs to see the presents under the tree. The only "present" was my mom's dead body. She had killed herself by laying on top of the presents and drinking Drano. It was a horrible mess. I screamed and screamed until my dad and my brother came.

My dad was never the same after that and wasn't able to work anymore. Mostly he just sat and stared at nothing. He died a few years ago. My aunt (my mom's sister) came to live with us and take care of us. She hated us for driving our mom to kill herself. I don't know what we did and I still don't know why my mom killed herself.

I had to go to a special school after that and I never did finish high school. Ever since that Christmas, I have suffered from horrible migraines and my face and body twitch out of control. I live alone and work as a receptionist in a group home. I don't really have anything to do and they only gave me the job out of charity.

I have never had a relationship with a man and will die a virgin. I will never have a family or friends. My brother killed himself when he was 22. Even though my dad hardly ever talked, I miss him so much. For 30 years I have cried myself to sleep every night. Now I feel so tired. I hate my tiny lonely room and I am so tired of TV. I am afraid to die because I know I will suffer torment for making my mom want to die.

Please don’t kill Mommy (12/08/05) - Heather, Maryland, Age 35

My worst Christmas was one of many. My family always had huge fights on Christmas or around it, throwing the decorated tree over, etc. Well, I was very young, maybe 5, my little brother was 3 and my older brother was 8. My parents got into it again. We were all standing in the doorway to my parents' room begging daddy to "please don't kill Mommy" on Christmas Eve. He was standing over her with a sledge hammer. That year was the real kicker.

My grandmother and uncle came over with presents. My parents never could afford really good gifts or what we wanted, but my grandmother and uncle did. Well, to top off what my father did (he left that night and didn't come back all day), my mother took all of our presents that came from my grandmother and uncle and threw them down the front steps (two flights). We had gotten a television from them, and many gifts that we really wanted. The neighbor kids never forgot it and proceeded to torment us until we grew up and moved out.

Crazy Christmas bum (12/08/05) - Nick, San Diego, CA, Age 22

Well, the morning of Christmas Eve I spent at the San Diego County Jail, trying to bail my older brother out. To my dismay, I could not afford the $10,000 fee the bondsman wanted to post bail. So I went to the nearest bar and had a beer before making the drive back home.

As I left the bar, I noticed one of the many downtown bums grumbling to himself and looking pretty fuckin' miserable. So I figured since I wasn't going to have a merry Christmas, maybe I could help someone else have a better holiday. I offered to buy him a drink or food, and soon found out that this bastard was feral! He swung at me and missed. With his second swing he caught me with a screwdriver just inside my left arm under my bicep.

This lovely event was followed by an ambulance ride and a 2-hour surgery. But the bum got his comeuppance before going to the hospital. I managed to knock the fucker off his feet and plant a couple of steel toes square in his mouth.

I found her body on X-mas (12/17/04) - Rick, Florida, Age 28

Last year, 4 days before Christmas my fiancée, Who I loved more than anything, got raped. She spent the next couple days catatonic some times, uncontrollably sobbing at others. Christmas Eve she disappeared, and I spent the night out looking for her, talking to the police, etc. So I get home at 7 am Christmas day, to find my fiancée had made it home sometime during the night, and cut her wrists in the bathroom. She left a long note saying about how she couldn't take being with me after her ordeal and that she would never feel differently. So I came home to my fiancée’s dead body on Christmas. This Christmas I'm getting drunk and avoiding everyone.

Killer Christmas present (12/17/04) - Kyle, UK, Age 20

On 25th December 1988 me, aged 5, and my 8-year-old sister ran into the living room to open our presents. Unfortunately our parents had put our main present (a mini snooker table) right in the middle of the room and my sister hit her side on it. Her spleen was ruptured and she died later in hospital. I remember being very unmoved by it all. I cried because my parents wouldn't let me play with the snooker table.

Big box surprise (12/14/03) - Brad, Illinois, Age 26

For xmas one year for the whole year all i wanted was a computer. I begged, I did chores, I did anything, all i wanted was a computer. Closer and closer to xmas I got hints as to my hard work may pay off. Then, finally the big day arrived. There was a big box that i thought could possibly be my dreamed of computer. Frantically I ripped open the box to see if my aforementioned computer was here. I opened the box to find newspaper? WTF is this? I dive through the paper to find a CALCULATOR with a piece of masking tape with the words COMPUTER written on it. I was shocked, heartbroken, and well just pissed off. My mom had a good laugh, but I'll be the one getting to put her in a home later in life..

I dive through the paper to find a CALCULATOR with a piece of masking tape with the words COMPUTER written on it.

LOL, the only one that didnt depress the shit out of me in that whole post. It made me laugh mainly because my mom did something similar to me a few years ago. I wanted ( and still do want) a motorcycle, xmas morning she told me to go look in the garage for one of my presents. I go running out to the garage to find a toy motorcycle sitting on the hood of her truck. Although I wasnt bitter about it, I thought it was pretty damn funny myself.

Other than that this post is probably the most depressing thing ive read in years.

I cried because my parents wouldn't let me play with the snooker table.

that one was funny too ~

so winnow, you know that fucked-up-horrible-depressing-tragic shit happens all the time right? I mean it's a lot more terrible to deal with those kinds of things on a holiday granted, but none of those stories make me think any less of christmas.. they just remind me of the fallen world we live in - any day of the year

Carmon, Virginia, Age 28
I thought about my 4 precious girls and my little baby boy.
mean they had no dad, I have no other family. I had to do it

Why does this make me think of Bill Hicks routines..... *blurt* there's another miracle!

So, which one is your story?

Someone needs a hug

Sylvus wrote:I haven't been a big fan of the whole jesus part of christmas since i became a young adult

Imagine that...you godless fucking heathen!

Wait, is that supposed to be an insult?

Insult??? wtf man...I do not see where I called you "Canadian" once??!!11!

redeemed wrote:

I cried because my parents wouldn't let me play with the snooker table.

that one was funny too ~

so winnow, you know that fucked-up-horrible-depressing-tragic shit happens all the time right? I mean it's a lot more terrible to deal with those kinds of things on a holiday granted, but none of those stories make me think any less of christmas.. they just remind me of the fallen world we live in - any day of the year

I know medical and criminal shit happens every day of the year, this is the christmas grinch thread though so it's appropriate. Although, you can blame some of the suicides, etc on the holiday season...there are huge spikes in suicides near thanksgiving and christmas so that part relates.

I've personally always had excellent christmases and never cared what I was going to get or if I was going to get anything. I feel bad for the people like that mother who saved all year to buy her family things and got zilch in return. Christmas is just a recipe for disaster due to the unbalanced expectations and the inability of some to fulfill them.

Edit: I just spent an hour helping decorate a real christmas tree that someone brought in and placed outside my office. Oh the irony!