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Ha Canada Rocks

Posted: August 16, 2005, 10:52 am
by Atokal
1. Smarties

2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp

3. The size of our football fields and one less down

4. Baseball is Canadian

5. Lacrosse is Canadian

6. Hockey is Canadian

7. Basketball is Canadian

8. Apple pie is Canadian

9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers' ass

10. Tim Horton's kicks Dunkin' Donuts' ass

11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.

13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.

14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.

16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.

17. The Hudson's Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company.

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.

20. We don't marry our kin-folk.

21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, Velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

23. A Canadian invented Superman.

BUT MOST IMPORTANT!

24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!

Oh yeah... and our elections only take one day.

So Fuck you Winnow and all the other Canada Bashers.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 11:00 am
by Sylvos
oh i get it, you're being funny.
lollz

Re: Ha Canada Rocks

Posted: August 16, 2005, 11:01 am
by Sabek
Atokal wrote:10. Tim Horton's kicks Dunkin' Donuts' ass.
You realize Tim Horton's is owned by Wendys that is based here in Ohio right?

Posted: August 16, 2005, 11:06 am
by kyoukan
yeah this thread was worth clicking on.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 11:34 am
by Mr Bacon
yawn

Posted: August 16, 2005, 11:50 am
by *~*stragi*~*
basketball originated in mother russia and baseball in south america.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 11:57 am
by Dregor Thule
I'd just like to state that I heard a report on the radio this morning by the Prime Minister stating, and I quote, 'Canada, in no way, shape, or form, is responsible nor wants anything to do with that dickwad Atokal.'

Seriously tho, if you weren't feeling like you'd been getting enough negative attention lately, you could have just asked us instead of posting some list.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 12:18 pm
by Chidoro
Stragi wrote:basketball originated in mother russia and baseball in south america.
and I also thought lacrosse was invented by native americans.

Other than that, your country sounds great toke. People flock from all over the world to seek out and Live the Canadian Dreamtm

Posted: August 16, 2005, 1:09 pm
by Aslanna
Someone is feeling a little inadequate about their country...

Posted: August 16, 2005, 1:36 pm
by Aabidano
He forgot to mention the dirt mines. Can't ever forget those.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 2:43 pm
by Zamtuk
while tim hortons may indeed be better than dunkin' donuts, krispy kreme blows them both out of the water.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 2:46 pm
by Niffoni
Zamtuk wrote:while tim hortons may indeed be better than dunkin' donuts, krispy kreme blows them both out of the water.
Be cool, bro, ain't nobody fuckin' with your Double-Ks!

Posted: August 16, 2005, 3:16 pm
by Dregor Thule
Tim Horton's has gone downhill as far as donuts go, mostly I'm sure because of inadequate American ownership! But I love my Timmie's for the coffee. Sweet, sweet liquid ambrosia.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 3:35 pm
by miir
Stragi wrote:basketball originated in mother russia and baseball in south america.
Actually, it's universally accepted that James Naismith invented basketball in the late 1800s, in Springfield Mass. James Naismith was Canadian.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 3:51 pm
by Seebs
Didn't someone in Toronto invent the Fez?

Posted: August 16, 2005, 4:02 pm
by Sionistic
Didnt someone in the YMCA invent baseketball?

Posted: August 16, 2005, 4:24 pm
by Winnow
I'm a Canadian and I love this country but i wan't to know why people keep voting for the Liberals! They have been caught in scam after scam and it's becoming quiet annoying. I am an underaged Canadian so I can't vote. But if I could it would be for the conservatives and here are the reasons why.

Liberals: Waste too much money, made retarted gun registration.
Bloc: Says that we don't care about Quebec, in fact that's all he says.
Conservatives: Want to increase our military.

I think that we need air-craft carriers and better jets and newer everything. I am so sick and tired of turning on the televisions and hearing about us promising to help America in their wars and Paul Martin said he would send 100 troops but he apologized and said that we can't afford it, it's not in our military budget. Finally this: Canada votes 2004 english debate. Stephen Harper " Mr. Martin I want to build 2 aircraft carriers and upgrade all of our aircraft, because i find it personally embarassing when we send soliders to Irag or Afghanistan and we have to hitch a ride with Americans because we can't afford it." Martin " Ummmhhmmh"-> He turned red and made up some lame excuse about what Canadians want. Well excuse me but I hate everything the Liberals stand for.

Thank you I am a 15 year old Canadian residing in Alberta.
Lower the voting age in Canada to 15!

Posted: August 16, 2005, 4:33 pm
by Xzion
okay il give you some of that...but DONT take credit for inventing sea-doo's, they are by far the worst fucking pwc's due to the fact that they break down every 10 hours of use

Posted: August 16, 2005, 5:59 pm
by Funkmasterr
kyoukan wrote:yeah this thread was worth clicking on.
Seconded.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 6:03 pm
by Kylere
LOL Lacrosse was invented while the Europeans werre still busy trying to finish up the fourth crusade, and Galileo was rotting under arrest for daring to say the Earth moves around the Sun.

Umm and fully another 3rd of those are wrong also, but there is the arm on the shuttle things, and hell without it they could not have fixed the tile damage last time up. Canada makes great arms, must be all those mitten sized beer case handles.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 8:33 pm
by Moonwynd
20. We don't marry our kin-folk.
No, but you share a sleeping bag with them under the auspices of "huddling for warmth" in your igloos!

Posted: August 16, 2005, 9:34 pm
by Asheran Mojomaster
Kylere wrote:LOL Lacrosse was invented while the Europeans werre still busy trying to finish up the fourth crusade, and Galileo was rotting under arrest for daring to say the Earth moves around the Sun.

Umm and fully another 3rd of those are wrong also, but there is the arm on the shuttle things, and hell without it they could not have fixed the tile damage last time up. Canada makes great arms, must be all those mitten sized beer case handles.
Yeah, but maybe it was Canadian Native American!

Posted: August 16, 2005, 10:07 pm
by Niffoni
Moonwynd wrote:No, but you share a sleeping bag with them under the auspices of "huddling for warmth" in your igloos!
Hey. I was scared, okay? The huskies were getting restless.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 10:31 pm
by Kylere
No it was Natives from what is now the States.

Lacrosse Origin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lacrosse
The sport has Native American origins. Its native name was dehuntshigwa'es in Onondaga ("men hit a rounded object")da-nah-wah'uwsdi in Eastern Cherokee ("little war"), Tewaarathon in Mohawk language ("little brother of war"), and baggataway' First Nations language "The Creator's game". It was usually played over the range of 3-10 miles. Since there was only one ball, players would concentrate on injuring their opponent with the sticks. Sometimes the game would last for days.
Cherokee Tribal areas
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherokee
The Cherokee are a people native to North America who at time of European contact in the 16th century inhabited what is now the eastern and southeastern United States before most were forcefully moved to the Ozark Plateau. They were one of the tribes referred to by Native Americans as the Five Civilized Tribes.
Mohawk Tribal Areas
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohawk_Indians
The Kanienkehaka, or Mohawk tribe of Native American people live around Lake Ontario and the St. Lawrence River in what is now Canada and the United States. Their traditional homeland is further south, in New York State, around present day Albany, New York. They belong to the Iroquois confederation. After the pre-historic formation of the Iroquois confederation (Hodenosaunee), the Mohawks became keepers of the Eastern Door, guarding the members against invasions from that direction.
(emphasis added for clarity)

The First Nations then picked it up in Canada, so it started in the modern US and worked its way north. Kind of like trends :-) BTW why is there only one type of bookstore in Canada? I could find only one in all of downtown toronto, and it was a Borders clone.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 11:24 pm
by Raistin
So many cultures played a sport similar to modern soccer that no one can really say with any certainty when or where soccer began but it is known that the earlier varieties of what later became soccer were played almost 3000 years ago.

One of the earliest forms of soccer in which players kicked a ball on a small field has been traced as far back as 1004 B.C. in Japan. The Munich Ethnological Museum in Germany has a Chinese text from approximately 50 B.C. that mentions games very similar to soccer that were played between teams from China and Japan. The Chinese kicked a leather ball (filled) with hair) and it is known for sure that a soccer game was played in 611 A.D. in the ancient Japanese capital Kyoto.

The Romans played a game that somewhat resembled modern soccer. The early Olympic games in Rome featured twenty-seven men on a side who completed so vigorously that two-thirds of them had to be hospitalized after a fifty-minute game.

While historians kept records of events such as wars and religious movements they had very little interest in preserving the various origins of soccer or many other sports, so no one can say how soccer seems to have spread from Asia to Europe.

The most popular game on earth.

The King of Sports? Not according to King Edward.

In King Edward's reign of England (1307-1327), laws were passed that threatened imprisonment to anyone caught playing soccer. King Edward's proclamation said:" For as much as there is a great noise in the city caused by hustling over large balls, from which many evils may arise, which God forbid, we command and forbid on behalf of the King, on pain of imprisonment, such game to be used in the city future."

Evidently judged to be vulgar and indecent, soccer was at times suppressed by the English sheriffs who followed royal orders describing the game as a useless practice. King Henry IV and Henry VIII passed laws against the sport, and Queen Elizabeth I "had soccer players jailed for a week, with follow-up church penance"

Posted: August 16, 2005, 11:50 pm
by kyoukan
Kylere wrote:No it was Natives from what is now the States.
enough of your "indian" revisionism, tonto. everyone knows you're all just mexicans that snuck up here when you learned columbus brought booze with him.

THE TRUTH WILL BE KNOWN.

Posted: August 16, 2005, 11:51 pm
by Arborealus
Raistin wrote: In King Edward's reign of England (1307-1327), laws were passed that threatened imprisonment to anyone caught playing soccer. King Edward's proclamation said:" For as much as there is a great noise in the city caused by hustling over large balls, from which many evils may arise, which God forbid, we command and forbid on behalf of the King, on pain of imprisonment, such game to be used in the city future."

Evidently judged to be vulgar and indecent, soccer was at times suppressed by the English sheriffs who followed royal orders describing the game as a useless practice. King Henry IV and Henry VIII passed laws against the sport, and Queen Elizabeth I "had soccer players jailed for a week, with follow-up church penance"
Clearly if they had persisted in the enforcement of these laws they would have saved the rest of the world a lot of trouble from the football hooligans!

Posted: August 17, 2005, 12:52 am
by Kylere
kyoukan wrote:
Kylere wrote:No it was Natives from what is now the States.
enough of your "indian" revisionism, tonto. everyone knows you're all just mexicans that snuck up here when you learned columbus brought booze with him.

THE TRUTH WILL BE KNOWN.
Only a racist thinks that using such terms, even sarcastically is acceptable.

Re: Ha Canada Rocks

Posted: August 17, 2005, 12:53 am
by Knarlz
Most items on this list can be disputed in some fashon or another including this one
Atokal wrote: 2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp

In this case it is due to Crispy Crunch is mearly a thicker Nestly Crunch bar with few merits. On the other hand Coffee Crisp is indeed a great candy bar. ( not the new varities of which there are several wannabes )

Posted: August 17, 2005, 12:56 am
by Canelek
OMG! HEY DR K!!! :D

Posted: August 17, 2005, 3:58 am
by Legenae

Re: Ha Canada Rocks

Posted: August 17, 2005, 5:27 am
by Sargeras
Atokal wrote:Ha Canada Rocks
But you still suck.

Posted: August 19, 2005, 10:11 am
by Caoine
Every time I see a list of a reasons why Canada rocks or is other wise cool, I only have two words: Bryan Adams.

;_;

Posted: August 19, 2005, 10:37 am
by miir
Caoine wrote:Every time I see a list of a reasons why Canada rocks or is other wise cool, I only have two words: Bryan Adams.

;_;
Bryan Adams was cool, like 20 yers ago.

And who the fuck are you anyway?
Jackass :o

Posted: August 19, 2005, 11:04 am
by Nick
Jackass.

Secondly, I know a ridiculously (and I mean super unbelievably amazingly) hot blondie from Canada, so they are ok in my book :)

Posted: August 19, 2005, 11:14 am
by *~*stragi*~*
miir wrote:
Stragi wrote:basketball originated in mother russia and baseball in south america.
Actually, it's universally accepted that James Naismith invented basketball in the late 1800s, in Springfield Mass. James Naismith was Canadian.
Acutally your 100 percent incorrect because it's universally accepted that it was created by Vlad the Impailer who used to shoot the heads of his victims through a hoop when he got bored in the 1400's. Universally.

Posted: August 19, 2005, 11:22 am
by Nick
Whilst he was shooting skag through his own eyeballs.

sarge's bitch, reporting for duty?

Posted: August 19, 2005, 11:27 am
by Caoine
miir wrote: Bryan Adams was cool, like 20 yers ago.

And who the fuck are you anyway?
Jackass :o
someone far more interesting than yourself, I can say.

also, just because his one and only #1 song made you swoon to the likes of your gym teacher doesn't mean he was cool.

Jackass. <3

Posted: August 19, 2005, 11:36 am
by Nick
And I am king of the world, I can say.

Are you really interesting, or is it just a ruse to gain popularity? :(

Posted: August 19, 2005, 11:40 am
by nobody
you dont jackass you get jackassed

jackass

Posted: August 19, 2005, 2:58 pm
by Sabek
Wooo this thread got interesting. A little Canadian on Canadian action to spice it up.

Re: sarge's bitch, reporting for duty?

Posted: August 19, 2005, 2:59 pm
by Chidoro
Caoine wrote: someone far more interesting than yourself, I can say.
"Interesting" is an quite the adjective.

"Hey hun, how did you like that movie"?

"It was...interesting"

Posted: August 19, 2005, 3:25 pm
by miir
Uhhh, I'm 4394 posts beyond jackassing...

:roll:

Re: sarge's bitch, reporting for duty?

Posted: August 19, 2005, 4:51 pm
by *~*stragi*~*
Caoine wrote:
miir wrote: Bryan Adams was cool, like 20 yers ago.

And who the fuck are you anyway?
Jackass :o
someone far more interesting than yourself, I can say.

also, just because his one and only #1 song made you swoon to the likes of your gym teacher doesn't mean he was cool.

Jackass. <3
I can honestly say that Miir is far more interesting.

Also, shadow priests melt faces.

Posted: August 19, 2005, 5:07 pm
by Jice Virago
kyoukan wrote:yeah this thread was worth clicking on.
Watching Atokal make an ass of himself never gets old, though.

Re: sarge's bitch, reporting for duty?

Posted: August 19, 2005, 5:13 pm
by Winnow
Caoine wrote:
miir wrote: Bryan Adams was cool, like 20 yers ago.

And who the fuck are you anyway?
Jackass :o
someone far more interesting than yourself, I can say.

also, just because his one and only #1 song made you swoon to the likes of your gym teacher doesn't mean he was cool.

Jackass. <3
Hmmm, starts off with a jab at our northern neighbors...shows promise!

Re: sarge's bitch, reporting for duty?

Posted: August 19, 2005, 5:39 pm
by miir
Stragi wrote:
Caoine wrote:
miir wrote: Bryan Adams was cool, like 20 yers ago.

And who the fuck are you anyway?
Jackass :o
someone far more interesting than yourself, I can say.

also, just because his one and only #1 song made you swoon to the likes of your gym teacher doesn't mean he was cool.

Jackass. <3
I can honestly say that Miir is far more interesting.

Also, shadow priests melt faces.
Shadow priests melt feces.

boobies

Posted: August 19, 2005, 5:46 pm
by Caoine
Stragi wrote: Also, shadow priests melt faces.
In Soviet Azeroth, faces melt YOU!

/dance
miir wrote:Uhhh, I'm 4394 posts beyond jackassing...
it's alright, i'll learn your facist ways. and stalk you.

Posted: August 19, 2005, 7:28 pm
by Sparty
My name is Sparty and I have 14 hands.
One for drinking a beer.
One for waving at people I dont know.
One for flicking off people I do know.
One for masturbating.
One for holding a remote.
One for whiping my ass.
One for patting you on the back.
One for left clicking.
One for squirting ink when im scared.
One for fingering my neighbors cat.
One for cracking all 70 knuckles that I have.
One for slappnig you for figuring out if someone with 14 hands would have 70 knuckles.
And one for turning the page.


My name is Sparty


Edit: And one for editing.

Re: boobies

Posted: August 19, 2005, 11:02 pm
by Canelek
Caoine wrote:
Stragi wrote: Also, shadow priests melt faces.
In Soviet Azeroth, faces melt YOU!

/dance
miir wrote:Uhhh, I'm 4394 posts beyond jackassing...
it's alright, i'll learn your facist ways. and stalk you.
Well played! Welcome aboard, jackass! :D