VeeshanVault

Siji · Post by **Siji** » March 9, 2005, 11:52 am

So which toilet is it for you.. Ass Caddilac or Ass 4-Wheel Drive?

Midnyte_Ragebringer · Post by **Midnyte_Ragebringer** » March 9, 2005, 12:27 pm

Hard seat. And a low ride toilet is a must also.

Morgrym · Post by **Morgrym** » March 9, 2005, 12:43 pm

Depends on how good the book is.

Moonwynd · Post by **Moonwynd** » March 9, 2005, 12:53 pm

Hard seat is the only way to go...and I will tell you why.

My wife is a kitchen and bath designer. She edumacated me about seats. Soft seats are harbor bacteria. Soft seats have a tendency to get small tears in the outer vinyl covering. Once this happens, the foam inside becomes a breeding ground for all sorts of nasty stuff.

Wooden seats are not much better than soft seats. The "Oak" bathroom seats are very unsanitary. Most often you will find a seat made out of compressed sawdust...painted with a hard enamel. Eventually these seats become fairly nasty.

The best seat is a hard plastic seat. They last forever are not porous...easy to clean and sanitize.

Now, I have a Toto Washlet Jasmin...and it's the best thing I have ever had the pleasure of sitting on...

Features:
• Convenient Remote Control with Large LCD Panel
• Automatic Air Purifier
• Warm Air Dryer
• Heated SoftClose Seat with Temperature Control
• Gentle, Aerated Warm Water

TOTO has designed the Washlet with comfort and convenience in mind. When activated, the Washlet wand extends to provide a gentle stream of aerated water with adjustable temperature and pressure for safe, effective cleansing. Variable settings can be easily adjusted to suit personal needs.

Because the water is drawn directly from your home's fresh water supply, the Washlet water is always clean and pure. Plus, the nozzle self-cleans automatically before and after each use. All Washlet seats are made from antibacterial plastics and feature the TOTO SoftClose hinge to eliminate annoying "toilet seat slam."

But I think I have said too much already...the black helicopters are circling....

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » March 9, 2005, 12:58 pm

Our house came with a soft cushion toilet seat that was white in color. So after a month or so I notice that the seat is getting a skid mark stain that just won't go away. Not sure if that was just us or if I never really noticed when we bought the place. I switched that bad boy out for a nice Hard Plastic seat. A bit cold in the morning but it definitly wakes you up.

Siji · Post by **Siji** » March 9, 2005, 1:13 pm

VeeshanVault.. Where science meets the ass..

Sirensa · Post by **Sirensa** » March 9, 2005, 1:14 pm

I lived in a house with a quirky random soft-seated toilet in the utility room. That toilet scared me. I never used it. I didn't live there long

And low-rider toilets suck.

That being said... people who camp out reading in the bathroom gross me out. Is it really all that comfortable to have the warm stench of your shit wafting up while you read?! Personally, I get in and get out, asap

No time to linger.

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » March 9, 2005, 1:25 pm

Now, I have a Toto Washlet Jasmin...and it's the best thing I have ever had the pleasure of sitting on...

Features:
• Convenient Remote Control with Large LCD Panel
• Automatic Air Purifier
• Warm Air Dryer
• Heated SoftClose Seat with Temperature Control
• Gentle, Aerated Warm Water

Sounds great! My ShitMaster 2000 is in the mail!

That being said... people who camp out reading in the bathroom gross me out. Is it really all that comfortable to have the warm stench of your shit wafting up while you read?! Personally, I get in and get out, asap No time to linger.

Well, it's pretty much the only place you get peace and quiet from a yammering woman. Seriously, does every ounce of silence need to be filled with jabbering that I'm going to get in trouble for not listening to?

Lynks · Post by **Lynks** » March 9, 2005, 1:37 pm

I thought the only people that have cushion seats were old people. You learn something everyday.

Tegellan · Post by **Tegellan** » March 9, 2005, 1:46 pm

What the hell is a low rider toilet?

Akaran_D · Post by **Akaran_D** » March 9, 2005, 1:47 pm

Auto toilets piss me off.
I sit, I shit. I'm not even halfway done taking a dump when the thing autoflushes, both ripping my crap out of my ass AND spaslhing pisswater all over my backside at the same time before I'm even done.

Hate 'em.

That being said. Moon, how much did Skynet's Shitter cost you?

Nilaman · Post by **Nilaman** » March 9, 2005, 1:58 pm

Moon doesn't really use that one to go to the bathroom in. He does that in the woods. Mullet.

He just uses it as a water fountian.

Sirensa · Post by **Sirensa** » March 9, 2005, 2:20 pm

Tegellan wrote:What the hell is a low rider toilet?

It's a toilet that is lower to the ground than a normal toilet. Typically used in grade schools, but found in other weird places that make no sense. Probably noticed more by females than males because males wouldn't necessarily use a public toilet as often as a female.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » March 9, 2005, 2:32 pm

More importantly, do you load up your toiletpaper so it comes off the top of the roll or bottom? I can't stand bottom. Top is the way to go for easy clean rips. Only people worried about looks will go for the bottom feeding toilet roll setup!

Who would buy this? (just seeing the euro link answers my question!)

Nilaman · Post by **Nilaman** » March 9, 2005, 2:34 pm

Top pls.

Akaran_D · Post by **Akaran_D** » March 9, 2005, 2:34 pm

What on God's green earth is that abomination..

Lohrno · Post by **Lohrno** » March 9, 2005, 2:35 pm

Winnow wrote: Who would buy this?

Apparently the couple in the background looking at it in wonder and awe.

Moonwynd · Post by **Moonwynd** » March 9, 2005, 2:43 pm

I love my Toilenator..no matter what you say!

Akaran_D · Post by **Akaran_D** » March 9, 2005, 2:44 pm

I still wanna know how many k it set you back. ><

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » March 9, 2005, 2:45 pm

Who would buy this?

The couple that shits together, stays together!

Moonwynd · Post by **Moonwynd** » March 9, 2005, 2:49 pm

The "low rider" toilet is the way to go for better bowel movements. The squatting position is the path of least resistance...gravity and human physiology take over and there is little effort needed.

The Japanese have "squat" toilets...but even they are fading into memory as western style toilets can be found nearly everywhere in Japan.

Here is a typical Japanese squat toilet.

And here is how you use it...

http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~AD8Y-HYS/movie.htm

Akaran_D · Post by **Akaran_D** » March 9, 2005, 2:52 pm

Note to self:
If the need ever arises, get asian women from abroad, don't go pick them from their naturally occuring habitats because their toilets will screw with your mind.

Moonwynd · Post by **Moonwynd** » March 9, 2005, 3:00 pm

Akaran_D wrote:I still wanna know how many k it set you back. ><

It was free

Since my wife works in kitchen and bath design she was entered into a spiff contest at work...get x amount of dollars for each Toto (the name brand..and also the Japanese word for *toilet*) washlet seat she sold. She was one of the top sellers in her region so she won the Jasmin model...which retails for 1k USD. The grand prize was a trip to Japan to visit Toto corporate...but my ass thanks her for coming in second!

Sylvos · Post by **Sylvos** » March 9, 2005, 3:03 pm

Sirensa wrote:

That being said... people who camp out reading in the bathroom gross me out. Is it really all that comfortable to have the warm stench of your shit wafting up while you read?! Personally, I get in and get out, asap No time to linger.

stfu you love it when i camp out in the throne room cause that means 15-30 minutes of peace and quiet for you.

Ebumar · Post by **Ebumar** » March 9, 2005, 3:32 pm

Seriously - I camp simply for the quiet. Also, if I have a good book/magazine, I like to actually get somewhere with it.

Truant · Post by **Truant** » March 9, 2005, 3:41 pm

Squat toilets are actually better for you.

Hemorrhoids do not occur in cultures still using the squat toilet, and occur with great regularity in cultures with sitting toilets.

Aabidano · Post by **Aabidano** » March 9, 2005, 3:54 pm

Sirensa wrote:Is it really all that comfortable to have the warm stench of your shit wafting up while you read?!

My shit does not stink.

I generally pound one out and leave, I can think of better places to read.

$600+ is a bit much for a toilet seat.
Fancy toilet seats

Stalker Vacio · Post by **Stalker Vacio** » March 9, 2005, 7:15 pm

This thread reminds me of a post way back of someone shitting on themself at work...anyone remember that post and can link please?

Smiliar story...

http://www.poopreport.com/Stories/Content/roared.html

The Ass That Roared
Posted 3.4.02005 by The Shit Pistol

Every morning before making the journey to school, I stop at Jack in the Box to grab a couple of breakfast sandwiches to munch on the way over. This morning I had my dad with me because he had to go to the dentist's office to get his dentures adjusted, so I got the rare luxury of sitting in the passenger's seat to eat my meal without the risk of wrecking his car. I thought the first sandwich tasted a little funny, but I thought nothing of it because the other sandwich tasted fine.
I arrived at school and sat in my class, working for an hour and a half before I had to depart so my dad could go to the dentist. Talking to my teacher before leaving, I felt gas pains in my colon and hoped that's all they were. I got out of class and was getting into the car when I realized they weren't just gas pains; but the pain was in the distance, so I figured I had a good hour or so before all hell broke loose. It usually took twenty minutes for my dad to get finished at the dentists and another twenty minutes to travel home. What could possibly go wrong?

My dad parked at the dentists and went into the office. I sat in the car trying to do some math homework, but my colon didn't want to cooperate. As if my intestines were attending a baseball game, they began doing the wave; the gas causing all my pain was shoving them forward. I realized that the hour I estimated had been cut to one-fourth of that time -- and I would be in grave danger if I tried to extend that deadline.

I'm not a Shameful Shitter. I lie right about in the middle between Shameful and Shameless, leaning slightly toward Shameless. I'm not one to announce that I've got a turd coming, and I don't feel the need to invite my friends or family to see what I just laid out in the bowl, although I do enjoy discussing it. Here is one of my Shameful qualities: I hate using toilets outside of the home unless it's to take a whiz, mainly because of the fact that strangers' asses have been seated on that toilet -- that's quite discomforting to me.

However, this was a situation in which I couldn't care less about who's ass touched what. I had to go and I had to go soon. I looked around from the car to examine my toiletry possibilities. There was a 7-11 about twenty feet from the car... I'd rather shit my pants before using a convenience store toilet. I realized that the only place I could go shit was in the dentist's office. I knew the staff of the office, and I feared having to take a vile dump in their presence, but I had no choice.

I got out of the car and power-walked into the office. I spotted the bathroom and quickly ran in and locked the door. I pulled down my drawers and practically fell onto the toilet; to my surprise, though, I actually I had to push to get the butt mud flowing. I realized that there was a log that was corking up my hole. I shoved it out of the way and then the anal fudge began pouring out into the toilet like soft serve ice cream piling out of the machine onto the cone. My poop was like a mysterious solid that also was a liquid. It baffled me.

As I was trying to wipe up, someone knocked on the door and said, "Are you okay? It sounded like you threw up!"

Even though there was a door between us, I blushed and replied, "I'm taking a crap, now do you mind?"

I finished up my business, sprayed some air freshener, washed my hands, ran out and ducked back into the car.

-- The Shit Pistol

MooZilla · Post by **MooZilla** » March 9, 2005, 9:22 pm

toilet camping is the best way to just sit, relax, relfect on the day's happenings, and think of the real questions in life.

Sirensa · Post by **Sirensa** » March 9, 2005, 9:40 pm

Oh yeah..

Toilet paper must be pulled from the top. Hate when some fucker puts it on backwards... (cough sylvos cough).

And 2-ply TP is the only way to go. I cry at school where the TP is the single ply and has the texture of a paper towel. Ouch.

nobody · Post by **nobody** » March 9, 2005, 11:13 pm

baby wipes! if you care about a clean ass then for the love of god, baby wipes!

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » March 9, 2005, 11:57 pm

nobody wrote:baby wipes! if you care about a clean ass then for the love of god, baby wipes!

I thought the military used steel brushes and sea salt?

cid · Post by **cid** » March 11, 2005, 4:32 pm

Found this survey and didnt want to make a new thread about it.

http://www.bathroomsurvey.com/

Marbus · Post by **Marbus** » March 11, 2005, 5:30 pm

Personally I like the low rise, extra large hard seat and here are some reasons...

1. Hard seat - nice and cold in the morning to wake you up!
2. Hard seat - won't allow you to sit on it for more than an hour while reading
3. Hard seat - easy to clean and last longer
4. Low rider - easier to squeeze out the big ones
5. Low rider - for those long reads, but less than an hour, your legs don't fall asleep
6. Extra large seat - I've got a big ass
7. Extra large seat - when you wake up in the middle of the night and stuble into the BR you have less of a chance to hit the side if you are too sleepy to lift the seat
8. Extra large seat - it's just more comfortable

Now that I've seen in though I'm going to have to buy one of those Toto toilest, that just rocks!

Marb

Burke · Post by **Burke** » March 11, 2005, 5:34 pm

I take the Browns to the Superbowl on "The Champion." It can flush 29 golf balls at once. Given my daily consumption of golf paraphenalia, this throne is a godsend.

http://www.homedepot.com/prel80/HDUS/EN ... 0&MID=9876

Edit: Hard seat all the way.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » March 11, 2005, 8:16 pm

Burke wrote:I take the Browns to the Superbowl...

ha, that's one I haven't heard : )

lay some pipe
pinch a loaf
make a deposit

I must use the Browns line at my next earliest opportunity with people present. My toilet speak is weak!

VeeshanVault

Poo

What's your preference?

Poo