News Years Resolution letter...
Posted: December 30, 2004, 4:31 pm
Dear _(your name here)__
This is it. 2005 is the year when we turn it around. Go, me!
* I resolve that even though ___________ is clearly wrong and I am clearly right, especially when it comes to ___________, I will strive this year to be more patient and understanding.
* I resolve not to try to look younger by injecting and/or taking ___________ or to try to recapture youth by paying exorbitant prices for tickets to alleged farewell concerts by ___________. (NOTE: I unfortunately did this by seeing Phil COllins. However, I only paid $40, so I think I am excused.)
* I resolve not to make fun of or throw insults at ___________ just because he or she lives in a ___________state and voted for that moron___________.
* I resolve not to date men or women just because they are___________ and say things like___________. I mean it this time!
* I resolve not to open e- mails with subject lines that read ___________.
* I resolve to lead a life of fewer video games and more ___________.
* I resolve to stop munching on ___________ between meals and quit making a meal out of ___________.
* I resolve not to even look down aisle No. ___________ in the grocery store, where I know they keep the ___________.
* I resolve not to gossip at work with ___________ even if she or he has the inside scoop on ___________ and ___________, who I still cannot believe ___________ed at the office Christmas party.
* Speaking of that, I resolve that there will be no 2005 office Christmas party for me unless I can keep alcohol consumption to ___________ and a distance of 30 feet between ___________ and me.
* I resolve to no longer watch ___________ on television, especially if they star Monica Lewinsky or Anna Nicole Smith.
* I resolve not to even THINK about looking, much less actually look, at any___________ that features Paris Hilton (or Britney Spears or Pamela Anderson or Julia Roberts or Brad Pitt, etc.).
* I resolve to stop stealing ___________from the office, even if it is sooo easy to get away with it.
* Speaking of the office, I resolve to stop calling___________ a ``supercilious imbecile'' behind his or her back. I will instead use words that I can define.
* I resolve to learn at least one new word a week, such as ___________.
* I resolve to stop using the words ``us'' and ``we'' when referring to the local ___________ franchise, seeing as how I am not actually on the team.
This is it. 2005 is the year when we turn it around. Go, me!
* I resolve that even though ___________ is clearly wrong and I am clearly right, especially when it comes to ___________, I will strive this year to be more patient and understanding.
* I resolve not to try to look younger by injecting and/or taking ___________ or to try to recapture youth by paying exorbitant prices for tickets to alleged farewell concerts by ___________. (NOTE: I unfortunately did this by seeing Phil COllins. However, I only paid $40, so I think I am excused.)
* I resolve not to make fun of or throw insults at ___________ just because he or she lives in a ___________state and voted for that moron___________.
* I resolve not to date men or women just because they are___________ and say things like___________. I mean it this time!
* I resolve not to open e- mails with subject lines that read ___________.
* I resolve to lead a life of fewer video games and more ___________.
* I resolve to stop munching on ___________ between meals and quit making a meal out of ___________.
* I resolve not to even look down aisle No. ___________ in the grocery store, where I know they keep the ___________.
* I resolve not to gossip at work with ___________ even if she or he has the inside scoop on ___________ and ___________, who I still cannot believe ___________ed at the office Christmas party.
* Speaking of that, I resolve that there will be no 2005 office Christmas party for me unless I can keep alcohol consumption to ___________ and a distance of 30 feet between ___________ and me.
* I resolve to no longer watch ___________ on television, especially if they star Monica Lewinsky or Anna Nicole Smith.
* I resolve not to even THINK about looking, much less actually look, at any___________ that features Paris Hilton (or Britney Spears or Pamela Anderson or Julia Roberts or Brad Pitt, etc.).
* I resolve to stop stealing ___________from the office, even if it is sooo easy to get away with it.
* Speaking of the office, I resolve to stop calling___________ a ``supercilious imbecile'' behind his or her back. I will instead use words that I can define.
* I resolve to learn at least one new word a week, such as ___________.
* I resolve to stop using the words ``us'' and ``we'' when referring to the local ___________ franchise, seeing as how I am not actually on the team.