VeeshanVault

Hello VV

I'm not sure if this is the place to post this and by doing this I'm probably asking for flames, but:

I've done some writing lately, just short stories. I kinda just wanted to get some people's opinions on them, and definitely some tips from those of you who write for a living.

You can find them <a href="http://brian.reetsite.com/stories">Here</a>

Neziroth wrote:Hello VV

I'm not sure if this is the place to post this and by doing this I'm probably asking for flames, but:

I've done some writing lately, just short stories. I kinda just wanted to get some people's opinions on them, and definitely some tips from those of you who write for a living.

You can find them <a href="http://brian.reetsite.com/stories">Here</a>

Change the title of this thread to include *FF*. (Flame Free)

Get Stephen Kings book on writing.

Cheers

Anything that is black on a dark blue is not condusive to reading. Fix that and I'll give you some feedback on your writing

After skimming the first 2 before quitting, because my eyes did not like those colors at all. The main thing that jumps out at me is your use of the word I a lot. Don't be afraid to come up with other means of saying something and switching words around to make past tense stand out.

I liked "Seeing is Believing" the most. I'm not much of a fan of short stories, but it was entertaining.

I see nothing wrong with those colors -

what would be a good color set to go with? Black on white is boring I thought the black on blue (it's not that dark on my screen) would be an easy combination on the eyes.

High contrast is always good.. on an old monitor that blue does make the text illegible.

Light on dark has always been best (not only on monitors.. there's a reason blueprints are white on blue) the whole trend to black on white was just a WYSIWYG move that is exceedingly hard on the eyes =/

If you're really sold on dark on light though.. go w/ "web safe" colours, and your background really shouldn't be much darker than the blush colour you see on the "Topic review" title bar below the posting window here.

Also, see http://www.csszengarden.com/?cssfile=/1 ... css&page=0 (for the site in general, and that page is pretty easy to read on any crappy monitor..)

ok, the site is now white on blue which should make things a little easier to see.

if that doesn't work let me know and I'll just remove the background all together.

i look forward to hearing your opinions (of the writing, not the colors!)

Read a couple, nice stuff! I'm not an english major, but I can recall my high school and college engrish teachers. Would have to agree with Morgrym with the "I" thing... only if you wish to polish the works.

I remember on our twenty second birthday, we decided to head into town for a walk.

or

On our twenty second birthday, we decided to head into town for a walk.

or

We decided to head into town for a walk on our twenty second birthday.

(since your recollection of the past had already been made)


Again, I'm no english major or teacher, I found your stories that I have read so far good. Just offering some constructive criticism on the grammar and structure. See Noel for further grammar lessons, plzthx.

heya

my advice about the site first...

do you want people to notice your design skills or your writing?

If you want feedback on writing - stick with boring black type, white background.

That doesn't mean you can't have a flashy intro but when actually reading, you want the reader to be focused on what you are trying to communicate, not bells and whistles.