VeeshanVault

Ducru wins.

rofl Ducru definately wins

ROFLMAO

i still think drucu's is the best but here's my sorry but its not about jackin off ...

well my parents are off on vacation so it seemed perfect for having sex ... so me and my ex boyfriend go upstairs and start going at it in my old bed which is really noisey and makes lots of noise (im sure you all know the kind) so were there in bed bumping grinding and doing all sorts of stuff when ... my neighboor starts to yell up the hallway to me ... he's about 85 years old .... WW2 vet ... and doesn't like gay people ...

so im like aww fuck if he comes up the stairs whats he gonna think when he sees me and another guy in bed like this ... well being the old dude that he is i guess he somehow didn't hear all the noise we were making so he proceeds to yell to me asking if i let the dogs outside today so they could go to the bathroom ....

i also had the doors locked so i was sure that no one would drop by ... but i forgot he had a key and never expected him to come over .... so thats my story ... it was more scary then embarassing but woulda been embarassing if he woulda went up the stairs =-P

I am still a little embarassed by that story but only cause every single freaking time I step foot in my old home town which is full of people who know me some dork has to call me by the nickname Carpet which I was given after that

Valkeria wrote:I am still a little embarassed by that story but only cause every single freaking time I step foot in my old home town which is full of people who know me some dork has to call me by the nickname Carpet which I was given after that

LMAO!

It's close between Ducru and Valkeria...but I think Valkeria has it.

It's close between Ducru and Valkeria...but I think Valkeria has it.

I disagree, Valkeria wins the "I wish I was there to witness it" award.
Ducru is the clear winner because it was embarrassing/awkward for everyone involved in the incident.

Burke wrote:

It's close between Ducru and Valkeria...but I think Valkeria has it.

I disagree, Valkeria wins the "I wish I was there to witness it" award.
Ducru is the clear winner because it was embarrassing/awkward for everyone involved in the incident.

Are you high? I would be so embarrassed for her if I saw it...yet, enjoy witnessing it at the same time!!

I'd vote for Valkeria's moment if only because it was public embarrassment as opposed to private embarrassment, which in my opinion isn't as bad. I mean up until Ducru posted it on the board only two people knew it as opposed to Valkeria's which involved possibly hundreds of people.

Yes, but couch fucking and public flashing are two different things. The latter being a fairly common 'embarrassed moment'. Ducru wins on the act alone.

I am also judging on intent and accident. Valkeria did not intend for her undergarments to get ripped off, Ducru fully intended on making sweet sweet love to that couch. Valkeria was and unlucky victim of circumstance (granted there were a lot more people), but Ducru was caught red-handed (as it were) in the depths of teenage masturbatory experimentation, with someone he had to live with.

Zamtuk wrote:Yes, but couch fucking and public flashing are two different things. The latter being a fairly common 'embarrassed moment'. Ducru wins on the act alone.

Valkeria should get based on the magnitude of the event! It was a little family affair involving ducru and his Dad, While Valkeria's involved large group of her peers at her own school, plus the peers at the opposing school! Flinging her panties into the crowd! The carpet matches the drapes! Come on!

Man, it's a lock! My vote goes to Carpet!

Couch fucking >>>> flashing

There is no competition here.

A poll is in order.

I won't deny that couch fucking is much more unique and funny than flashing, but still I would much rather be caught in an embarrassing position by one person than by a hundred. I mean there is a reason why the dream where you’re walking around naked is so common among people, it's one of those primal fears that people have. Which one would you rather have happen to you ?

I would rather flash 10,000 people than be caught fucking a couch by one person.

Maybe it is just me...

i rather do the flash too

I'd rather flash than get caught humping furniture.

Flashing isn't so bad because it's happened to so many people, how many people do you know that get caught doing the hippity-dippity on the family couch?

Yeah public flashing is no biggie, hell I've been streaking before haha. Fucking a couch though...damn.

Well it dident realy happen to me but.
Around 18 19 years of age my freind did his milletary service here in Sweden. He was on a boat and after the first 3 months of training they where of to travell around the world representing Sweden at various places.
Since this was 6 month thing he got like 1 week of to say god bye to freinds etc.
He at that point lived with his girlfreind in a small house.
The same day he would come home for his last visit for 6 months we decided to make a party for him, while we where getting bozze and stuff his GF found a locked drawer in a desk and with force got it open. Inside where his secret stash of pOrn, and not the soft one, this was German stuff, real hardcore.
After arraiving with bozze etc she told me and I got this brilliant idea.
What we did was that we ripped the pages apart and applied them to the walls in the toilet, basicly filling the walls floor and ceeling with hardcore German pOrn. This would be his god bye to the pOrn as well. It was a beuty.
Well times passes by and he is soon to arraive at home, 30 minuts before this happens the dorr bell rings.
Wooooooooa a suprise visit from his parents that also whanted to say hi etc.
They had been driving for like 3 hours and the mother desperatly needed to pee....
So she whent in to the toilet with all the German pOrn and took a leek.
She took it good and asked wtf this was, gf expalined and then freind arraivs at home, meats his freinds gf and parents.
Mommy asks him, dont you need to use the toilet after the long tripp.
Yes he says opens the door and then just stand there for 2 3 minuts trying to grasp what just have happend.

ROFL some good stories here! I guess i'll post mine.. i still cringe when I think about it, even now.

I was 18 and dating Mr. Smiley Face Man.

This is Mr. Smiley Face Man with me at my senior Prom:


He was older than me and had friends that attended Loyola University in downtown Chitown. We partied there a lot, and I was in my prime. One weekend, we ended up going to a frat party at Loyola, and we all got completely drunk. Now, me being the princess that I was at the time, decided I would try and win the dance contest with my boyfriend. We were hot together and danced all the time, so we thought we would totally win. Mind you, I had about 6 or 7 tequila shots, plus about 4 or 5 melonballs too, and a few shots of Aftershock. Wasted!

So, Mr. Smiley Face Man and I proceed to get to the middle of the dance floor, and here we are, grinding away, and people are all around us cheering... so I decide to get up on one of the tables and dance up there. So, I jump up, rip off my top and my pull off my skirt, and here i am, dancing in my undies. I ended up stripping for the entire frat and their girlfriends. Some asshole took pictures and posted it on the bulletin board so I would be publically embarassed forever. Then again, I never should have done that either...

Needless to say, I don't drink tequila anymore and dumped Mr. Smiley Face Man after a while... but we won the contest![/img]

DAMN! Why didn't I go to Loyola!

Those pics have to be on the internet somewhere!! Everyone fan out, and find em!

The thing is...only one person saw him humping the couch, his dad (who probably did something like that in his youth!)
Carpet flung her panties into the crowd of her peers! I'm sure you all know how relentless H.S. peers can be...

These tales are lightweight. I could have those 25k vv's so easy.

prove it!

put up or shut up Krimson!

/yawn at the competition......In college I was late for class but stopped by the bathroom for a quick pinch. You know the whole 'dropping of turd and water splashes the anus' thing right? Well I wiped (edit-for the record, I wiped more than once), stood up, pulled my shorts up, hurredly left the bathroom and was on my way to class. Half-way there, I felt something wet hit the back of my knee....wait for it....college campus...full of hot chicks that think campus is their private modelling strip....wait.....I look back, and there is a crap-stained strip of wet toilet paper hanging out the back of my shorts down to the back of my knees.

I accept paypal and money orders for my vv's please thanks.

freakin amateurs.

Krimson Klaw wrote:/yawn at the competition......In college I was late for class but stopped by the bathroom for a quick pinch. You know the whole 'dropping of turd and water splashes the anus' thing right? Well I wiped (edit-for the record, I wiped more than once), stood up, pulled my shorts up, hurredly left the bathroom and was on my way to class. Half-way there, I felt something wet hit the back of my knee....wait for it....college campus...full of hot chicks that think campus is their private modelling strip....wait.....I look back, and there is a crap-stained strip of wet toilet paper hanging out the back of my shorts down to the back of my knees.

I accept paypal and money orders for my vv's please thanks.

freakin amateurs.

OMG.

ROFL Krimson!

I am certain Sparty has you all beat...now where is the fucker?

I'm not sure thats something you want to take pride in....

Still have to go for the crotch-flash in front of whole school and parents, fans, et all. The being caught humpin the couch by step-father a close second, and trailing used tp a third.

I don't know Krimson's story has public humiliation and college. I guess it depends on whether Valkeria was a senior or an underclassman. If she had to be in H.S. for a year or two after that incident then I would go with her story, one year in high school is like 10 years outside. Now as a moment Krimson has it, accidental public flashing is bad, but having shit hanging off of you is worse imo. I still think public humiliation is worse than private humiliation.

My brother Bill is a very big guy, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Captain Underpants. I’ve never seen him cry, or even express pain. However, my view of him changed (an increase of respect for the poor soul) after he told me this story:

While he was in the Army, stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, Bill was involved in a serious relationship with a relatively attractive airhead. Her tease-puffed bangs stood approximately six inches above her forehead, at a distance appearing to be a visor/hat bill. She talked with a mousy southern-drawl and loved country line dancing. Her goal in life was to be a pom-pom (sp) instructor at a local high school or junior high. Quite possibly her only salvation was that she had big breasts and a cute face.

One evening, they were close to ‘scromping,’ but she instead continued to tease. My brother left for the base unsatisfied.

The next morning, my brother awoke to excruciating pain in his balls. “The worst case of blue balls known to man.” He claimed that the pain was debilitating to the point that he was unable to walk without limping. Unfortunately, he was still required to participate in physical training every morning, and found the thought of this unbearable. He devised a plan to tell his officers that he was sick.

Before the PT session began, he limped to his officer and put his plan into motion. He claimed that he was very sick. Naturally the officer wanted to know what was wrong, so my brother stood stunned for a moment, before replying unconsciously that he thought there was urine in his blood. His officer sent him immediately to the infirmary, as the occurrence of blood in the urine usually means internal bleeding.

My brother triumphantly limped to the base medical station, thinking how brilliant he was for getting out of PT. Bill explained to the medical personnel that he thought there was blood in his urine, so they promptly asked him a number of questions. One of which concerned sexual activity: He had slept with his girlfriend recently, so they must check for an STD.

Bill expected a piss test. But was instead sent to an isolated room. Moments later a person entered the room, instructing him to disrobe. My brother was uncertain what gender the individual was, as the person was approximately three hundred pounds, had breasts, but “had more facial hair than I have on my entire body.” After a little hesitation, my brother let “Chewbacca” examine him briefly, before she left the room to gather materials for his ‘piss’ test.

When Chewbacca returned, my brother let loose a gasp like a schoolgirl. In the hands of the behemoth in white, was a large Q-Tip, around six to seven inches long. Suddenly the pain in his balls seemed a bit less painful.

She proceeded to insert the Q-Tip into my brother’s penis, as he shrieked, eyes rolling to the back of his head. “I’m going to faint,” he whispered to Chewbacca. She then twisted the Q-Tip clockwise to ‘get a good specimen.’

After the procedure was done, my brother staggered toward his clothing and began to put it back on. “We have another test to run,” she informed my brother. He immediately assumed the piss test was forthcoming.

Instead she pulled out another enormous Q-Tip to my brother’s horror. She called for reinforcements, and two gentlemen came to assist her while she inserted another Q-Tip into his penis. This time, when she turned it, he fainted from pain, the two assistants holding him up.

With his blue balls and violated penis, my brother left for his barracks truly sick. He collapsed on his bed and vowed he would never lie again.

one year in high school is like 10 years outside.

i have to disagree with ya there, high school went by quick for me, considering i never did anything in highschool. I never went to any school sponsored event except my graduation, and thats because my parents would kill me if I didnt.

Sionistic wrote: have to disagree with ya there, high school went by quick for me, considering i never did anything in highschool. I never went to any school sponsored event except my graduation, and thats because my parents would kill me if I didnt.

Same exact deal with me.

Couch fucking owns them all, though Krimson took a solid second, from this fact alone. His parents caught him, while that is only 2 people, they are 2 people that will know him for the rest of their lives. Where as Krim and Valk got to move and put it behind them.

shit drust...i feel sick for your brother =(

jesus drust, while not too embarasing...jesus christ

*smiles at Ducru* Tell them that story about the Halloween costume hon... that was pretty damn funny too. *grins evilly*

Yeah bud, Tell them the halloween costume...

Sure the the couch fucking was hilarious... Still is you detailed it much more this time! But yes, tell the Halloween Costume

Winner (15,000): Ducru, for sheer storytelling.

Runner-up (10,000): Krimson... *shakes head* Words elude me.

2nd Runner-up (5,000): Valkeria, for further embarrassment in public places and being a good sport. Besides, telling everyone on VeeshanVault your highschool nickname deserves some compensation.

To everyone else who posted, thanks for participating!

Well I would just like to take a few moments to thank everyone involved...

First the Academy (aka. furniture producer) for making my dream a reality.

My parents and God for giving me the strength and tools needed to become famous.

My Grandmother, because I promised I would include her if I ever won anything. (She's going to be SO proud.../sniff)

And last but not least, every one one of my fans. Without you I wouldn't be here today. Everynight now when you go home and look at that old couch in your play-room, lounge, living room, etc., I hope that you at least give it a passing thought, and a loving hug. Whether you intend to take it farther is by all means your own volition.

Ducru

Thank you If you cant laugh at yourself who else can you laugh at? But now Ducru I cant sit on my couch the images I am scarred for life.

Good speech sir, and congratulations on the prize, may you enjoy it much

He should use his vv's to buy a new couch, I plan on buying one of those toilets that spits at my anus.

Money well spent, Krimson. LMAO.

My favorite experience so far, since I posted that sstory was last night in Ssraeshza Temple.

Duru zones in, does a /who. KoE is spanking another toughie in Ssra.
"Camp check please"
Reponses:
"AL"
"Comm1"
"Comm2"
" THE COUCH!!"
I laughed for hours after that.

Ducru

*double post*