VeeshanVault

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Waste the motherfuckers!

C’mon now, Vera, put that razor away! I’m warning you, put that razor away or I’m gonna shoot your pinky toe off!”

“Oh! Now your gonna shoot me in my pinky toe.”

“Bitch, I’m not playin’. You gonna be the nine-toe havingest, limpin’est bitch in Harlem, you don’t put that razor away!”

Dante: 36! Including me?!
Veronica: 37...
Dante: 37! You've sucked 37 dicks?!
(and later)
Dante: My girlfriend has sucked 37 cocks!
Customer: In a row?

Just a few:

"Hey! It's me!" - Han Solo

"In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... Come again?" - Brick Top

"What you think just cause a guy reads comic books, he can't start some shit?!?" - Brodie

"I have always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday when you asked me to do a striptease to the theme from Mighty Mouse, I said okay. When we were at that hotel on prom night and you asked me to sleep underneath the bed in case your mother burst in, I did it. And even when we were at my Grandmother's funeral and you told most of my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let it slide, but if you think I'm gonna suffer anymore of your shit with a smile now that we've broken up, you're in for a big fucking disappointment." - Rene

"I'll tell you what you need is a phatty boom batty blunt, and then I guarantee you'll see a sailboat, an ocean, and maybe even some of them mermaids doing some of that lesbian shit. Look at me, look at me you sloppy bitch!" - Jay

"Drop that Zero and get wit' the hero!" - Vanilla Ice (J/K)

"Roy Boy: How come you never see any black guys playing hockey?
Kabral: Now do you think it's easy to just gradually take over every professional sport? Let me tell you something, man. Brothers have started figuring out this ice thing. Hope you enjoyed it!" - Canadian Bacon

"Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?" - Silent Bob

"Bethany: Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around? Jay: We're here to pick up chicks. Bethany: Excuse me? Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?" - Dogma

Some Big Lebowski lines by Walter:

"Fucking dog has fucking papers... OVER THE LINE!"

"Smokey this is not 'Nam this is bowling, there are rules"

"What the fuck you talking about, the Chinamen is not the issue here Dude! I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand Dude, across this line YOU DO NOT...! Also Dude, Chinamen is not the prefered nominclature. Asian American, please"

"Life does not stop at start at your convience you miserable piece of shit"

"Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I can enjoy this family restaraunt!"

"I'm staying. I'm finishing my coffee. Enjoying my coffee"

Walter: "You're entering a world of pain son, we know that is is your homework, we know that you stole the car...
Dude: "And the fucking money"
Walter: "And the fucking money! And... we know that this is your homework...
Dude: "They're gonna cut your dick off Larry"
Walter: "You're killing your father Larry!"

Dude: "Fuck sympathy, I don't need your fucking sympathy man, I need my fucking johnson!"

And of course Mr. Lebowski: "The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain!"

Bruce Willis's scene from the 5th element....

The last of the Mangalores have barricaded themselves in the back of the station and shoot at anything that tries to enter. Korben joins the policemen already there.

COP 1
Hey, who are you?

KORBEN
The winner of the Gemini Croquette contest.

Korben goes to the door and peeks around the corner. Loc Rhod arrives.

KORBEN
Seven to the left. Five to the right.

COP
What's he doing?

Korben leans around the corner and fires rapidly.

KORBEN
Six to the left. One to the right.

LOC RHOD
He's on vacation.

KORBEN
(reloading)
We got to find the leader. Mangalores
don't fight without a leader.

223 INT. POLICE STATION

Akanit gets up, grabs Cornelius by the throat and put a gun to his head.

AKANIT
One more shot and we start killing
hostages, got that?



KORBEN
Found him...

AKANIT
(tense)
Send someone to negotiate!

KORBEN
Mind if I go? I'm an excellent
negotiator.

COP 1
Uh... Sure, go ahead.

Korben gets ready.

COP 1
We're sending someone in who's
authorized to negotiate.

Korben walks quickly into the room, heads straight for Akanit, raises his gun and puts a bullet through his head.

KORBEN
Anyone else want to negotiate?

COP 2
(to another Cop)
Where'd he learn to negotiate like that?

Revs, you dissappoint me. You forgot the single most important line from that movie.

Shut the fuck up Donnie.

Zamtuk wrote:Revs, you dissappoint me. You forgot the single most important line from that movie.

Shut the fuck up Donnie.

amen.

axien, you forgot at the end when the president looks at corb's superior and says "i wonder" and the guy looks away

rhyae wrote:Full Metal Jacket:
HARTMAN:
Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking- standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.
JOKER:
Sir, I said it, sir! Sergeant
HARTMAN:
Well ... no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister.

im PRETTY sure its been posted, but hell its worth posting again
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jacket2.html

"Up your butt Jobu" - Eddie Harris

"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."
--The Matrix

"To some players, luck itself is an art"
"Money won is twice as sweet as money earned"
--both from The Color of Money

"And so she walks out of our lives, forever"
--Tombstone

"Utshay your Acefay, Asshole-ay"
--Made

"My weed's wearing off"
--Half Baked

Suck me beautiful!

Yipe Kai Yea mother fucker! -Bruce Willis, Die Hard

Also:

Now I have a machine gun,
Ho Ho Ho

That's part of your problem: you haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

Greg "Gaylord" Focker: The only way that I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here right now and tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers, okay? If you can get it from my kung-fu grip, then you can come and have it, okay? Otherwise, step off, bitch.

--Back to the Future--


Doc Brown: 1.21 JIGAWATTS!!!.....1.21 Jigawatts...

Marty: What the hell is a Jigawatt?!?!?!

George McFly: Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain.


Biff Tannen: So why don't you make like a tree and get outta here.

--My cousin vinny--

Vinny Gambini: Oh a counter offer. That's what we lawyers, I'm a lawyer... we lawyers call that a counter offer. This is a tough decision you give me here. Get my ass kicked or collect two hundred dollars. I could use a good ass-kickin', I'll be perfectly honest with you... nah, I think I'll just go with the two hundred.

--Back to school--

Thornton Mellon: If I don't take those exams, Dean Martin's gonna kick me out... And if I take 'em, who knows where he'll kick me?

Thornton Melon: Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until someone passes out. Then bring one every ten.

The Crow -

"Shelly used to worry about all the little things. I used to think they were kind of trivial.. Believe me, nothing is trivial."

"There aint no coming back, this is the really real world."

"Onions?
No. They make you fart big time."

"Let me do an impression for you. Bang! Bang! Fuck, I'm dead!"

Jezdziec Znikad wrote:"Up your butt Jobu" - Eddie Harris

You no help me now, I say fuck you Jobu.

Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least you're name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know, there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There WAS nothing wrong with it. Until I was about 12 years old, and that no-talent-ass-clown BECAME famous and started winning Grammy's.
Samir: Why don't you just go by Mike, instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change it? He's the one who sucks.


Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour. I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

"You know what the Bible says about fucking your sister? Don't!" - Say it Ain't So.

I don't think there is a single line in Office Space that isn't great.


Here's your flair!!!!

"get busy living, or get busy dying."

-- shawshank redemption

Lots of good ones posted....

My favorite from Princess Bride is still when Inigo says "I want my father back, you son of a bitch!" (after the whole I have come to kill you bit). Which is a nice segue to...

It's K-k-k-ken, c-c-c-come to k-k-k-kill me!!

- Kevin Cline's character (Victor?), A Fish Called Wanda

It's Daddy, shithead. Where's my bourbon?!!"

- Frank , Blue Velvet

Feed the hole.

- Narrator/lead character, Romeo is Bleeding

(pardon the non-specific named characters - at work and don't want to look them up)

Not a movie, but still a classic line from the Sopranos.

"You blow your father with that mouth?"

Some of the beauty of Office Space is in the facial expressions, for example, Peter's second meeting with the Bobs when he is being promoted is just classic. We're going to be putting up to four (four fingers) directly underneath you (funny hand motion). But if I had to pick..
"You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear."


"I'm like the Mother Teresa..but of bonin'."
"I am Julie's Piano, I am Julie's Piano."
"I'm gunna go to town on your money and on your ass."
"Lance, you're obviously gay, and that's cool, but you tried to oil me up, and that's not really cool."
"That's a buttload of cash! Shouldn't you put that in a bank or somethin?"
"Yea listen, my car doesn't exist, so.."

-Leon Phelps, The Ladies Man

As far as Kevin Smith quotes, they're endless, but..
"Worth a shot. Like a shot in the mouth, you gay bitch." - Jay
"Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, THE WHALE, they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime." - Brodie
"He's an alien for Christssake. His Kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by Earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonderwoman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a Kryptonite condom, but that would kill him. " - Brodie
"I'd do it, but I pulled my back out humping your mom last night. Nooch." - Jay
"I've got a weird thing for girls who say aboot." - Holden
"I'm telling you, that bitch could be a bigger germ farm than the fucking monkey in Outbreak!" - Banky Edwards

"Ha ha, you fool! You've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia" .... " - the Sicilian, The Princess Bride

"Dude, you have a bazooka. Stop thinking cop and start thinking Playstation. Blow shit up!" - Xander Cage