Liberal VS. Conservative VS. Texan

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » January 31, 2003, 2:11 pm

The Difference Between The Liberal and Conservative "Debate" over war in Iraq.

Question: You're walking down a dark, deserted street with your spouse and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
____________________________________________________________

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! I'm just so uncomfortable with the thought of holding a gun. Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that provoked him to attack? Could we run away? What does my spouse think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me, and not the rest of my family? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a consensus.
____________________________________________________________

Conservative Answer:

BANG!
____________________________________________________________

Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...
(sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

-Shae

Kguku · Post by **Kguku** » January 31, 2003, 2:15 pm

That's funny?

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » January 31, 2003, 2:18 pm

No, it's a transcript of 3 actually occurrences, dipshit.

Post by **Xouqoa** » January 31, 2003, 2:19 pm

I think you have to be from Texas to get it. I chuckled.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » January 31, 2003, 2:23 pm

I've never been to Texas, but I thought it was funny. I have fired guns, tho, so maybe that's the difference.

Neost · Post by **Neost** » January 31, 2003, 2:34 pm

It made me smile.

I would have to claim to be from Texas myself.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » January 31, 2003, 2:35 pm

Texas

miir · Post by **miir** » January 31, 2003, 2:41 pm

That story is bullshit.

A Texan would never carry a Glock 27.
They would carry a Glock 22. You can make things more dead with 16 bullets.

Also, a real Texan would know the difference between a magazine and a clip.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » January 31, 2003, 2:42 pm

Bah! Scattergun...kill more with 1 shot

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » January 31, 2003, 2:44 pm

Good stuff

Mort · Post by **Mort** » January 31, 2003, 2:45 pm

Atleast in Texas, if you come home to your wife fucking someone.... you can kill them both.

In Cali, you can't even kill someone breaking into your house and raping your wife, they will sue your nuts off.

Im moving to Texas

miir · Post by **miir** » January 31, 2003, 2:47 pm

Atleast in Texas, if you come home to your wife fucking someone.... you can kill them both.

Nice to see you value human life so highly.

In texas, can you put a bullet in the head of the pizza guy if your pizza is late?

Dregor Thule · Post by **Dregor Thule** » January 31, 2003, 2:51 pm

Only if he's a dirty towelhead!

.......

Midnyte_Ragebringer · January 31, 2003, 2:53 pm

Kguku wrote:That's funny?

Yes. It is both accurate and funny.

Masekle · Post by **Masekle** » January 31, 2003, 3:01 pm

Mort wrote:Atleast in Texas, if you come home to your wife fucking someone.... you can kill them both.

In Cali, you can't even kill someone breaking into your house and raping your wife, they will sue your nuts off.

Im moving to Texas

One of my worst fears, is being sued by a dead man.

Draaxx · Post by **Draaxx** » January 31, 2003, 3:06 pm

miir wrote:That story is bullshit.

A Texan would never carry a Glock 27.
They would carry a Glock 22. You can make things more dead with 16 bullets.

Also, a real Texan would know the difference between a magazine and a clip.

No a texan would have an HK compact 45 that would knock their ass clean out, or blow it half whichever you choose. Err wait, thats one of my dads various carry guns =p

Aint it great bein a texan...

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » January 31, 2003, 3:07 pm

Dregor Thule wrote:Only if he's a dirty towelhead!

.......

What about a smelly white guy sweating profusely?

I'd say that's grounds as well

Kguku · Post by **Kguku** » January 31, 2003, 3:47 pm

Shaerra wrote:No, it's a transcript of 3 actually occurrences, dipshit.

Wow your engrish so gooda!

You're my hero!

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » January 31, 2003, 3:57 pm

miir wrote:That story is bullshit.

A Texan would never carry a Glock 27.
They would carry a Glock 22. You can make things more dead with 16 bullets.

Also, a real Texan would know the difference between a magazine and a clip.

Actually, I carry a Glock 23 (Smaller version of the 22, still a .40). I don't have issues with the (ahem) size of my gun. Also, this Texan knows the difference between a magazine and a clip, but until now has never run into anyone that gives a shit.

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » January 31, 2003, 4:01 pm

Kguku wrote:Wow your engrish so gooda!

You're my hero!

And when you're done with your spelling and grammar check of all my posts, go do my laundry, bitch.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » January 31, 2003, 4:03 pm

Shaerra wrote:
miir wrote:That story is bullshit.

A Texan would never carry a Glock 27.
They would carry a Glock 22. You can make things more dead with 16 bullets.

Also, a real Texan would know the difference between a magazine and a clip.
Actually, I carry a Glock 23 (Smaller version of the 22, still a .40). I don't have issues with the (ahem) size of my gun. Also, this Texan knows the difference between a magazine and a clip, but until now has never run into anyone that gives a shit.

Will you be my bodyguard at FF Shaerra?

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » January 31, 2003, 4:05 pm

hehe You can carry my extra CLIPS.

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » January 31, 2003, 5:15 pm

Texans don't waste bullets.

You're thinking of someone from Oklahoma.

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » January 31, 2003, 5:21 pm

Know why Texas doesn't fall into the ocean?

masteen · Post by **masteen** » January 31, 2003, 5:24 pm

Shooting until the target stops twitching is NOT wasting ammo.

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » January 31, 2003, 5:29 pm

masteen wrote:Shooting until the target stops twitching is NOT wasting ammo.

In fact, you make a better court case for yourself if you empty the gun. What says "scared for my life" as well as emptying the gun?

Revs · Post by **Revs** » January 31, 2003, 5:32 pm

Mort wrote

Atleast in Texas, if you come home to your wife fucking someone.... you can kill them both.

In Cali, you can't even kill someone breaking into your house and raping your wife, they will sue your nuts off.

Im moving to Texas

I'll do my best to visit you right before the lethal injection

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » January 31, 2003, 5:37 pm

A Texan looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man ready to jump.

"Stop," he yelled, "remember you're someone who has value!"

The man yelled back, "I just lost everything of value in the stock market!"

"But, remember that you're important to your wife," yelled the Texan.

"She divorced me."

"Your children! Remember your children," yelled the Texan.

"They never call," said the man.

"Then your parents. Remember your parents," yelled the Texan.

"Dead as doornails," said the man.

"Then 'Remember the Alamo'," yelled the Texan.

"What's the Alamo?" inquired the man.

And the Texan replied: "Jump, you Yankee son of a bitch!"

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » January 31, 2003, 5:41 pm

A real Texan would not own a Glock to begin with. They would buy Americun damnit. Colt or Springfield 1911 .45 is so much more Texish.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » January 31, 2003, 5:45 pm

This is as good a place as any to post some dumb laws from my state:

Dumb Arizona Laws
-----------------------------

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West.

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.

It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.

You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Hoarmurath · Post by **Hoarmurath** » January 31, 2003, 5:47 pm

My experience has shown that SIG Sauer .45's are most loved by Texans. 9mm's and .40's just don't seem all that popular for the most part.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » January 31, 2003, 5:49 pm

Winnow wrote:You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Clearly a law you violate, you big mangina!

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » January 31, 2003, 6:06 pm

Tennessee

-You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
-Hollow logs may not be sold.
-Any person crippling, killing or in any way destroying a proud bitch that is running at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction. -44-8-411 (Passed in 1901)
-More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.
-It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
-"Crimes against nature" are prohibited.
-Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law.
-Stealing a horse is punishible by hanging.
-Driving is not to be done while asleep.
-The age of consent is 16, but 12 if the girl is a virgin.
-It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.

.....and the best one -Males may not be sexually aroused in public.

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » January 31, 2003, 6:07 pm

Alabama:

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » January 31, 2003, 6:09 pm

Dude that pic brought back flashbacks of the movie *Deliverance*

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » January 31, 2003, 6:11 pm

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:A real Texan would not own a Glock to begin with. They would buy Americun damnit. Colt or Springfield 1911 .45 is so much more Texish.

hehe I was born in Dallas, have lived in and around Dallas (including Mesquite, home of the world famous Rodeo and 8 time world champion bull rider Don Gay) all my life, I have never been outside of the great State of Texas for longer than a two week period... I've rustled cattle, I have a horse, and I can do the Cotton Eyed Joe. i r a real Texan! hehe

And do you know how heavy a Colt .45 is? Unless I have a reason to use my weapon daily, there's no way I'd carry that thing! hehe Although you're right about it sounding more Texas-ish.

Adelrune Argenti · Post by **Adelrune Argenti** » January 31, 2003, 6:12 pm

masteen wrote:
Winnow wrote:You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
Clearly a law you violate, you big mangina!

I really have to wonder what were the causes that made this so important to make a law about it.

Perhaps there was some really horrible accident involving 3 dildos.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » January 31, 2003, 6:19 pm

masteen wrote:
Winnow wrote:You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
Clearly a law you violate, you big mangina!

That should read:

You may not have more than two dildos in you at one time.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » January 31, 2003, 6:41 pm

Mort wrote:Atleast in Texas, if you come home to your wife fucking someone.... you can kill them both.

The law that reduced murder charges to manslaughter for such an act was officially abolished in 1974. Sorry to disappoint your plans.

Acies · Post by **Acies** » January 31, 2003, 7:03 pm

Mort wrote:Atleast in Texas, if you come home to your wife fucking someone.... you can kill them both.

In Cali, you can't even kill someone breaking into your house and raping your wife, they will sue your nuts off.

Im moving to Texas

Sure you can Mort.
An event:
A man breaks into your house, you hear him and grab the gun.
You move out and shot him in the face, then immediately shoot a hole in the roof.
Call the cops.
When the cops come you say "Well, I fired a warning shot and he came at me like a maniac, so I shot him".
Self-Defense, California WILL let that go

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » January 31, 2003, 7:23 pm

a texan and his wife in the same place at the same time and she isn't getting physically and mentally abused? a texan with a gun and one of his kids hasn't gotten a hold of it because it was just sitting out in the living room, and he accidentally shot his sibling?

I question the validity of this data.

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » January 31, 2003, 7:29 pm

Maybe we should invade Tehas and make it the 51st state...

masteen · Post by **masteen** » January 31, 2003, 7:55 pm

My mom says there's a lot of Mexicans in Tejas...

Kguku · Post by **Kguku** » January 31, 2003, 8:00 pm

Shaerra wrote:And when you're done with your spelling and grammar check of all my posts, go do my laundry, bitch.

I'm sorry but I'd rather not touch your fungus and blood encrusted briefs.

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » January 31, 2003, 10:52 pm

Kyo,

I've been around weapons since a young age. From an early age my brother and I were taught that one of the worst things we could do is mess with our father's weapons without him around. Further more, at young age our dad took us out and let us use those weapons. We knew from an saw exactly what those things could do and we respected their potential cause harm.

My point is guns were safe in our house because the kids understood their power.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » January 31, 2003, 11:34 pm

it cracks me up that you didn't bother defending the domestic abuse part though.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » January 31, 2003, 11:45 pm

kyoukan type-R wrote:it cracks me up that you didn't bother defending the domestic abuse part though.

You'd get your ass kicked for saying something like that.

Dregor Thule · Post by **Dregor Thule** » February 1, 2003, 12:23 am

Adex_Xeda wrote:Kyo,

I've been around weapons since a young age. From an early age my brother and I were taught that one of the worst things we could do is mess with our father's weapons without him around. Further more, at young age our dad took us out and let us use those weapons. We knew from an saw exactly what those things could do and we respected their potential cause harm.

My point is guns were safe in our house because the kids understood their power.

And we know all people, be they Texan, American, whatever, are responsible and sensible folks... riiiiiight.

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » February 1, 2003, 1:15 am

Domestic abuse?

I can't speak to that. I've never experienced it.

I'm unsure how you link that to owning a firearm.

The way I figure it is, if you're uncomfortable with a weapon in your house, don't have one. Allow me the freedom to own one if I choose. A 'progressive' thought is it not?

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » February 1, 2003, 1:17 am

Dregor I subscribe to the idea that there are more responsible people in America than idiots.

I choose to tailor the law to the responsible, and not overreact in response to the idiots.

VeeshanVault

Liberal VS. Conservative VS. Texan

Liberal VS. Conservative VS. Texan

Texans...