Favorite Song about Masturbation

Seebs · Post by **Seebs** » July 13, 2005, 3:22 pm

The Green Day blurb and recent work conversations lead to this poll. I listed a few that I thought were the sound. Add as you like.

Here is someone else's listing .. Good Lord ... I had no clue some of these were about self pleasure .. go figure ... Now I know what Big Hands, I know you're the one means.

30. TUBEWAY ARMY - Everyday I Die
29. BUZZCOCKS - Orgasm Addict
28. TISM - Been Caught Wankin'
27. NEW ORDER - The Perfect Kiss
26. GREEN DAY - Longview
25. ROXY MUSIC - In Every Dream Home A Heartache
24. FAUVES - Self Abuser
23. CYNDI LAUPER - She Bop
22. TORI AMOS - Icicle
21. ELVIS COSTELLO - Pump It Up
20. MR. BUNGLE - The Girls Of Porn
19. FRENZAL RHOMB - Be Still My Beating Off
18. BILLY SQUIER - The Stroke
17. VERUCA SALT - Seether
16. BOYS NEXT DOOR - Masturbation Generation
15. THE VAPOURS - Turning Japanese
14. THE PIXIES - Holiday Song
13. THE WHO - Pictures Of Lily
12. BILLY BRAGG - St. Swithin's Day
11. RADIOHEAD - Thinking About You
10. PRINCE - Darling Nikki
9. FAITH NO MORE - Jizzlobber
8. SKYHOOKS - Smut
7. BLINK 182 - M & M's
6. POLICE - Be My Girl (Sally)
5. WEEN - Mister Richard Smoker
4. VIOLENT FEMMES - Blister In The Sun
3. BILLY IDOL - Dancing With Myself
2. BLOODHOUND GANG - Fire Water Burn
1. THE DIVINYLS - I Touch Myself

COMING CLOSE BEHIND...

THE WHITLAMS - You Sound Like Louis Burdett
SEBADOH - Homemade
NERFHERDER - Doing Laundry
OUTLINE - Sex Aids
CLARENCE CARTER - Strokin'
IGGY POP - I'm Bored
THE CURE - Close To Me
XTC - Pink Thing
CHUCK BERRY - My Ding-a-Ling
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS - Unglued
AUSTRALIAN CRAWL - The Boys Light Up

Nick · Post by **Nick** » July 13, 2005, 3:38 pm

ok I have no clue how "thinking about you" is meant to be solely about masturbation.

Most of the song is about lost love, and one line in the middle goes "and im playing with myself, but why should you care?"

It is hardly the overall point of the song.

Niffoni · Post by **Niffoni** » July 13, 2005, 3:40 pm

I didn't think "Dancing With Myself" was supposed to be about masturbation, although it might have been meant to make some people think it was. It can certainly be spun that way.

However, since it owns, I have to vote for that, closely followed by She-Bop!

miir · Post by **miir** » July 13, 2005, 3:57 pm

A lot (most?) of those songs aren't about masturbation... they might just happen to mention masturbation somewhere in the song... ie: New Order, Perfect Kiss (death song)... Prince, Darling Nikki (booty call song)

Others are just puzzling... Veruca Salt, Seether.. wtf? Iggy Pop, I'm Bored.. huh?

As for top songs about blow up dolls, In Every Dream Home A Heartache would be the winner by a country mile.

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » July 13, 2005, 4:10 pm

miir wrote:Iggy Pop, I'm Bored.. huh?

It isn't about masturbation...I guess the listor in this case is projecting?

Why wasn't "I'm In Love With my Car" listed...though I suppose that could be construed as Man/Man lovin'.

Demags · Post by **Demags** » July 13, 2005, 4:52 pm

Dont forget Jackson Browne's "Rosie". Another classic.

Demags

Janx · Post by **Janx** » July 13, 2005, 5:05 pm

Adam Sandler - At a medium pace. Thx.

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » July 13, 2005, 5:06 pm

Where the hell is Willie and the handjive...

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » July 13, 2005, 5:18 pm

Lyrics might help some remember the songs. One of Green Day's best songs. Sing this verse out loud in public!

Bite my lip and close my eyes
Take me away to paradise.
I'm so damn bored I'm going blind!!!
And I smell like shit.

Green Day - Longview

Longview

Sit around and watch the tube, but nothing's on
Change the channels for an hour or two.
Twiddle my thumbs just for a bit
I'm sick of all the same old shit.
In a house with unlocked doors and I'm fuckin' lazy.

Bite my lip and close my eyes
Take me away to paradise.
I'm so damn bored I'm going blind!!!
And I smell like shit.

Peel me off this velcro seat and get me moving
I'm sure as hell can't do it by myself.
I'm feeling like a dog in heat
Barred indoors from the summer street.
I locked the door to my own cell
And I lost the key

I got no motivation
Where is my motivation?
No time for motivation
Smoking my inspiration.

Sit around and watch the phone, but no one's calling.
Call me pathetic
Call me what you will.
My mother says to get a job
But she don't like the one she's got.
When masturbation's lost its fun
You're fucking breaking!

Bite my lip and close my eyes
Take me away to paradise.
I'm so damn bored
I'm going blind
And loneliness has to suffice.

Bite my lip and close my eyes
slipping away to paradise.
Some say 'Quit or I'll go blind.'
But it's just a myth

Mr Bacon · Post by **Mr Bacon** » July 13, 2005, 5:30 pm

Hanson - Mmm-bop

Sylvos · Post by **Sylvos** » July 13, 2005, 6:51 pm

what the hell?
Dancing with Myself isnt about masterbation.

Marbus · Post by **Marbus** » July 13, 2005, 10:09 pm

What do you mean Dancing with Myself isn't about mastrubation? If it isn't what is it about then?

I'm voting She Bob just because it's the first song I remember about girls getting off

Marb

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » July 13, 2005, 11:33 pm

Detachable Penis by the Butthole Surfers is close...especially if you watch the video

Kguku · Post by **Kguku** » July 13, 2005, 11:42 pm

Ok so where are the Devo songs in this list? I'm most upset!

Traz-KOE · Post by **Traz-KOE** » July 13, 2005, 11:48 pm

Detachable Penis is by King Missile, damnit!

Martin Scorsese

This song is called called Martin Scorsese
He makes the best fucking films
He makes the best fucking films
If I ever meet him I'm gonna grab his fuckin' neck and just shake him
And say thank you thank you for makin' such excellwnt fuckin' movies
Then I'd twist his nose all the way the fuck around
And the rip off one of his ears and throw it
Like a like a like a fuckin' frisbee
I wanna chew his fuckin' lips off and grab his head and suck out one of his
eyes and chew on it and spit it out in his face
And thank you thank you for all of your fuckin' films
Then I'd pick him up by the hair swing him over my head a few times
And throw him across the room and kick all his fuckin' teeth in and then
stomp on his face 40 or 50 times
Cuz he makes the best fucking films he makes the best fucking films
I've ever seen in my life
I fuckin love him
I fuckin love him

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » July 14, 2005, 12:37 am

bah I always mixed that one up

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » July 14, 2005, 11:24 am

Right Hand Man by Mister Jones is a pretty decent song about masturbation. I suggest a DL and listen. I was surprised not to see it on a single list about songs referring to masturbation. It was released in 98.

EDIT. Goddamn link isn't working...

Tyek · Post by **Tyek** » July 14, 2005, 8:37 pm

Tori is has a number of sexual songs, here is Icicle, definitely a masterbation song.

Icicle
Icicle where are you going
I have a hiding place when spring marches in
will you keep watch for me
I hear them calling
gonna lay down
gonna lay down

greeting the monster in our Easter dresses
Father says bow your head like the Good Book says
well I think the Good Book is missing some pages
gonna lay down
gonna lay down

and when my hand touches myself
I can finally rest my head
and when they say take from his body
I think I'll take from mine instead

Getting Off Getting Off while they're all downstairs
singing prayers sing away he's in my pumpkin p.j's
lay your book on my chest
feel the word
feel the word
feel the word
feel it

I could have
I should have
I could have flown
you know I could have
I should have
I didn't so

Midnyte_Ragebringer · Post by **Midnyte_Ragebringer** » July 15, 2005, 9:56 am

Best masturbation song is by the Jellyfish - He's my best friend.

i've known him all my life
it seems so inconceviable
at thirteen we shooks hands but we've
been always inseparable
he's cinnamon on my toast we're so
close

that's not to say we haven't had our
share of arguments
he's so unpredictable he winks
acknowledgments
when i would rather he closed his eye
than push me aside

my hand's a five leaf clover
it's palm sundayover and over
i never had the luck of swingers
till i was wrapped around your finger

he's my best friend
he's my best friend
he's my best friend
i'm his best friend
he's my best friend

you don't need a brain to have a
stroke of genius
or a beautiful girl to let down
your curls
cause growing up is hard enough
when your a powderkeg for
powderpuffs
(whether we're stayin' in or hanging out)
i'd never ask another on a date to
the ball
he doesn't need a rubber sweater or
alcohol
cause he gets tipsy from exchanging looks
and a little misty reading sticky
blue dirty books

but he's my best friend
he's my best friend
i'm his best friend
he's my best friend

my hand's a five leaf clover
it's palm sundayover and over
i never had the luck of swingers
till i was wrapped around your finger

he's my best friend
(we could hold hands for hours)
he's my best friend
(in the bedroom or shower)
he's my best friend
(i pick him up when he's feelin down)
he's my best friend
(i guess he's always been hangin around)
he's my best friend
(he gets lonely now and then)
he's my best friend
(and he gets shy around another men)
I'm his best friend
(it seems i've reached the end of my best friend)

Taequanleep · Post by **Taequanleep** » July 16, 2005, 1:14 pm

Nobody mentioned Toni Braxton's "You're Making Me High"?

Sexiest masturbation song EVER!

Dregor Thule · Post by **Dregor Thule** » July 16, 2005, 2:11 pm

SINNERS!

Jice Virago · Post by **Jice Virago** » July 16, 2005, 4:04 pm

Masturbation by Mindless Self Indulgence (track 20 on Frankenstien Girls will Seem Strangely Sexy) is the king of all masturbation songs.

Masturbation is cool,
The feelings are the best.
Nothing beats the feeling of my own hand.
Its so wild,
Its so wrong,
And so good.
Just wacked off,
Just Wacked off,
Just Whacked off,
Right now.

I think I am going to masturbate some now,
I think I am going to masturbate some now,
I think I am going to masturbate,
Masturbate,
Masturbate, (nothing but sweat)
Inside my hand.

VeeshanVault

Favorite Song about Masturbation

Favorite Masturbation Song

Favorite Song about Masturbation

Jellyfish - He's my best friend