Charlie Sheen

miir · Post by **miir** » February 28, 2011, 12:12 pm

This guy has been cracking me up for the past week.

I took more drugs than anyone could survive... But now I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.

It’s not available because if you try it once your face will explode off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

dying’s for fools

Post by **Sylvus** » February 28, 2011, 1:05 pm

WINNING!

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » February 28, 2011, 2:29 pm

Nothing like seeing a delusional addict thinking they're financially and medically above their drug. They're always wrong about both but the slide down is a pisser.

miir · Post by **miir** » February 28, 2011, 3:36 pm

Charlie Sheen took two drug tests.

The result?

Clean.

Sheen flew back to the United States from his vacation in the Bahamas to take a blood test for Radar Online, administrated by a court-certified California laboratory. The test covered marijuana, cocaine, opiates, amphetamines and alcohol. The test follows up on an over-the-counter urine test taken by the actor which he also passed. The results were revealed on ABC’s Good Morning America this morning.

“The good news for Charlie Sheen as he’s watching from home is he tested negative for every single one of those tests,” Dylan Howard, senior executive editor at RadarOnline. “The blood test only goes for a window for only 24 hours. The urine tests for some 72 hours. But this is a big win for Charlie Sheen.”

Maybe he's just acting like a delusional addict.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 28, 2011, 4:56 pm

Maybe he's awesome, ever thought about that? Orgies with hot hookers and porn stars, liquor and drugs? Fucking count me in! Charlie Sheen is my hero.

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » February 28, 2011, 5:15 pm

aside from pot, most drugs wash out of the system pretty quickly. maybe he's acting sober for a few days. but since he's not behaving like a sober person, he probably isn't. sure as hell doesn't sound it either

miir · Post by **miir** » February 28, 2011, 5:18 pm

Chidoro wrote:aside from pot, most drugs wash out of the system pretty quickly. maybe he's acting sober for a few days. but since he's not behaving like a sober person, he probably isn't. sure as hell doesn't sound it either

Not that it matters, but he has had multiple (blood and urine) drug tests over the past week and every one has been clean.

Maybe he's just having some fun at the expense of the media.

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » February 28, 2011, 5:20 pm

Funkmasterr wrote:Maybe he's awesome, ever thought about that? Orgies with hot hookers and porn stars, liquor and drugs? Fucking count me in! Charlie Sheen is my hero.

nah. nothing awesome about being too wasted to appreciate orgies with foolish wasted women

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » February 28, 2011, 5:22 pm

miir wrote:
Chidoro wrote:aside from pot, most drugs wash out of the system pretty quickly. maybe he's acting sober for a few days. but since he's not behaving like a sober person, he probably isn't. sure as hell doesn't sound it either
Not that it matters, but he has had multiple (blood and urine) drug tests over the past week and every one has been clean.

Maybe he's just having some fun at the expense of the media.

past week / few days same thing to me
i'm sure he's a fuck up

Aabidano · Post by **Aabidano** » February 28, 2011, 5:28 pm

It's a <pick one> wing media conspiracy to keep us distracted from the oil futures speculators who are driving prices through the roof.

Looks like he's on a downward spiral to me.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » February 28, 2011, 11:10 pm

Wall Street and Red Dawn were his best two movies.

When seeing him in anything over the past 15 years, he always looks hung over with that glazed eye look.

(CNN) -- Embattled actor Charlie Sheen took to the airwaves and the internet Monday, claiming he has cured his substance abuse addictions with his mind and alleging that CBS, which suspended production on his sitcom, is trying to take his money and destroy his family.

Sheen said he would go back and finish the season of "Two and a Half Men," which CBS halted last week after Sheen called a radio show. But, he said, because of his psychological distress, he wants $3 million per episode rather than the $2 million he was making.

"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special," Sheen told NBC. "I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching a total freaking rock star from Mars. And people can't figure me out. They can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."

He later said he has "tiger blood and Adonis DNA."

lol, he's losing it.

Sheen told ABC he plans to sue CBS "tons" for halting the show.

"Everybody thinks I should be, like, begging for my job back," he told NBC. "And I'm just going to forewarn them that it's everybody else that's going to be begging me for their job back."

"Come Wednesday morning, they're going to rename it Charlie Bros., not Warner Bros.," he said.

"Now they're saying I'm crazy," he told TMZ.com. "I'm passionate and I speak the truth, but I'm crazy."

"I'm grandiose," he said. "I have a grandiose life and I'm embracing it. ... It doesn't fit into their model and their model sucks."

He told NBC he never showed up on the set drunk or high, but acknowledged he might have showed up "a little bit sideways" because of lack of sleep. Asked whether he missed a day of work, he said, "not a day that cost anybody any money," saying he might have missed "practice."

Ashur · Post by **Ashur** » March 1, 2011, 2:48 pm

He's hysterical, on-camera and off. +1 for Charlie

miir · Post by **miir** » March 1, 2011, 3:39 pm

He's totally just fucking with the media.
This is the best press he's gotten in a decade.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » March 1, 2011, 3:41 pm

Who says a person has to be an addict to be delusional?

I love how this guy is more newsworthy than the citizen's uprising in Wisky, the brown people getting all jiggy with their dictatros, Israel being dicks again, the banks going back to the same bullshit behaviors that already sank our economy once, ect.

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » March 1, 2011, 3:58 pm

masteen wrote:Who says a person has to be an addict to be delusional?

I didn't, but I know he's an addict. He's playbook addict behavior

I love how this guy is more newsworthy than the citizen's uprising in Wisky, the brown people getting all jiggy with their dictatros, Israel being dicks again, the banks going back to the same bullshit behaviors that already sank our economy once, ect.

All that stuff is boring. Once you have a picture of a guy in a bread helmet supporting your cause, it's all downhill

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » March 1, 2011, 5:18 pm

I am most happy that they killed that awful fucking sitcom.

As for Charlie--good on him! I think he is pulling a media stunt as well. As for his drug issues, that ain't my problem nor my concern. Plenty of fuckups in and out of that silly town.

Aabidano · Post by **Aabidano** » March 1, 2011, 9:27 pm

Looks like he's on a downward spiral to me.

Feel kind of sorry for him.

miir · Post by **miir** » March 2, 2011, 12:00 pm

http://twitpic.com/458bdr
His watch keeps Warlock time.

His tweets have been a fucking riot.

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » March 2, 2011, 12:12 pm

gotta love when the media wastes time calling the media out for reporting on this.

miir · Post by **miir** » March 3, 2011, 11:23 am

Tiger blood will drip from my veins in my quest. Defeat is not an option. She is an absolute traitor and she must be banished. She will be living under a bridge, toothless and confused

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » March 3, 2011, 11:44 am

Fucking. Awesome.

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » March 7, 2011, 9:01 am

LOL @ Robot Chicken closing credits...

Canoe · Post by **Canoe** » March 8, 2011, 5:05 pm

Best quote yet:

"It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of their bazillions ... and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension."

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » March 8, 2011, 5:07 pm

Winning

Screw what Spang thinks, these guys are gods amongst men. I was hoping they would do a Charlie Sheen video.

Leonaerd · Post by **Leonaerd** » March 8, 2011, 5:52 pm

Hahahaha great vid

miir · Post by **miir** » March 9, 2011, 5:58 pm

This is nuts:
http://cs.internships.com/social-recrui ... =944742323

Kluden · Post by **Kluden** » March 9, 2011, 8:52 pm

He is so awesome now. Before, he was just a guy on a stupid TV show that people watched for whatever fucking reason. Now, he's awesome. God Bless Sheen!

I became a fan when he was on stern last week, and called Mel Gibson a rockstar! hahahah

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » March 10, 2011, 11:05 am

Apparently this god complex of his is part of a medical condition, I can't remember the name for it, but supposedly you can treat it with drugs, therapy, or sometimes it just goes away with time. They said therapy is the hardest route since the people afflicted with this feel that there is something wrong with everyone else, not them.

It's a damn shame, cause that means at some point all of this awesomeness is going to come to a end

miir · Post by **miir** » March 10, 2011, 12:35 pm

Heh, I wouldn't pay any mind to all the analysts trying to figure out what's wrong with him... The guy is an actor for fuck sakes. His entire adult life he's been paid huge sums of money to prentend to be someone else.

I bet he's got a team of writers and handlers that are orchestrating this entire 'media meltdown'

Leonaerd · Post by **Leonaerd** » March 10, 2011, 4:43 pm

Yeah no shit. WTF are you buying into Funk?

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » March 10, 2011, 5:25 pm

Canoe wrote:Best quote yet:
"It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of their bazillions ... and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension."

If he is referring to those stupid Guy Fieri style shirts he is always wearing on commercials, I am glad that is not his preferred clothing style.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » March 10, 2011, 6:58 pm

Google hypomania, fits everything about him to a T.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » March 11, 2011, 4:00 pm

Someone just posted how much cocaine he actually had in his system....

enough to kill two and a half men

miir · Post by **miir** » March 11, 2011, 4:04 pm

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:Someone just posted how much cocaine he actually had in his system....

enough to kill two and a half men

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » March 11, 2011, 4:51 pm

"That machete wasn't mine!"

Drolgin Steingrinder · Post by **Drolgin Steingrinder** » March 13, 2011, 7:06 am

I really hope it's a huge stunt, a performance piece...

because that would be the biggest 'fuck you' and 'that's how it's done you imbecile shitwad' to James Franco.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » March 14, 2011, 10:38 am

Drolgin Steingrinder wrote:I really hope it's a huge stunt, a performance piece...

because that would be the biggest 'fuck you' and 'that's how it's done you imbecile shitwad' to James Franco.

"Being Charlie Sheen"?

VeeshanVault

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