Cloud Atlas (no need to click, It sucks ass)

[Winnow]

I went to see this in the theater with company and there was really slim pickings for movies this weekend. The cinematography looked very good so I thought It might be nice to see it on a big screen. It's freaking horrible. It's three hours of multiple storylines that take place in multiple timelines and they jump all over the place.

This movie is crap. I was waiting for all of these disconnected stories to come together and make sense and they never did. Each of the separate storylines was weak and nothing that happens at the end of the movie helps bring them together.

I have a lot of patience for these thinker type of movies but there really is no redeeming part of this movie except for maybe the future NewSeoul part because the futuristic city and special effects were impressive but that's a very small part of the entire movie and even then, it's nothing spectacular. This is one of the few movies where I walked out of it wanting those three hours of my life back.

Halle Berry Sucks as an actress. I have no idea what Tom Hanks was thinking when he agreed to be in this movie. I think actors are attracted to movies where they can play multiple parts with a shit ton of make up on, making them feel like it improves their talent. In this movie it really doesn't work. They tried to make an asian look white, halle berry look white, white people look korean, black people look korean...it just didn't work well. What they all looked like was like they had a ton of make up on. The "future" dialect Tom Hanks and others used was incredibly annoying and reminded me of a worse version of what you hear in Mad Max beyond Thunderdome but with an Irish accent thrown in on top of it. Complete gibberish.

If there's a book, I sure hope it's better than this piece of crap movie. Really, it's one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

2/10

Wait for netflix, if ever, to see this.

[Asheran Mojomaster]

You know, you aren't the first person I've heard say this. I have read a few reviews, and comments people have made on it, and it seems that about 1 in 5 people feel the way you do. The other 4 out of 5 absolutely loved it.

[Fairweather Pure]

You know, you aren't the first person I've heard say this. I have read a few reviews, and comments people have made on it, and it seems that about 1 in 5 people feel the way you do. The other 4 out of 5 absolutely loved it.

Yup. Same here. It seems to draw very strong reactions from both sides. I'll wait for the Blu Ray.

[Canelek]

Trailor looked Waterworld meets Disney. Nasty combo.

[miir]

At least you didn't go see Silent Hill.

[Canelek]

One of the benefits of rarely going to the theater

[Aslanna]

Never heard of it. You should have saw Argo instead!

[Winnow]

You know, you aren't the first person I've heard say this. I have read a few reviews, and comments people have made on it, and it seems that about 1 in 5 people feel the way you do. The other 4 out of 5 absolutely loved it.

Yup. Same here. It seems to draw very strong reactions from both sides. I'll wait for the Blu Ray.

Blu Ray? Are you seriously thinking of buying it?

This movie is a waste of precious life. It's most definitely not worth owning. At least with Netflix or something you can cut your losses after the first five minutes (which may be all it takes to stop watching it)

About ten minutes out of the three hours is watchable but it's spread out between horrifically long spans of crap. And that ten minutes is a few funny bits and one short future action sequence, not some life changing experience about all the separate timelines going on.

[Canelek]

Was it worse than Crash though? The quote whores loved the piss out of that one too!

[Animalor]

My wife and I saw it on Saturday and enjoyed it is. Each storyline was interesting in it's own way and the movie is interesting enough that it captures your full attention.
It does feels like you're seeing 6 mini-movies as opposed to a fully realised, cohesive story though and that was it's big weakness.

The threads between the stories are quaint as best and tenuous at worst. Had these been stronger or had there been actual impact from the actions of one section into the other, it would've been a lot better. I was hoping that this was a movie adaptation issue but judging from the Amazon reviews, the book is exactly the same.

In the end, it's much more of a human interest movie with very high production values, something that had been reserved almost exclusively for popcorn flicks recently.

[Siji]

Was it worse than Crash though? The quote whores loved the piss out of that one too!

Crash was a great movie. Assuming you're talking about the 2004 one and not the 1996 softcore one.

[Canelek]

Crash sucked. This is known.

[Boogahz]

Crash was shit.

[Zamtuk]

I saw this movie, and really enjoyed it. They don't beat you over the head with narrative, and a lot of people didn't get it or were turned off by it. I thought it was easy enough to see what they were trying to do, and how they were going about doing it. Obviously the scars indicated that there was connection, but the stories all seemed to follow the same path, which was the exact point of the movie. The fun in the movie is looking at the (very) subtle ways that the stories all connect with each other. They are certainly in there, and if you weren't paying full attention or even mildly interested, they'd have blown right by you and you'd be sitting there disappointed (many were). Also guessing the actors and their multiple characters was fun too.

[Canelek]

I thought it was pretty and gorgeously shot. However, I had issues with the narrative. May have been a case of cramming too much into overlapping sequences...

[Leonaerd]

Whoa whoa whoa. Back up. Cloud Atlas was awesome.

[Winnow]

Whoa whoa whoa. Back up. Cloud Atlas was awesome.

mega troll or you were high when you saw it!

[Leonaerd]

or you were high when you saw it!

Oh please. This is America. I was drunk.

[Winnow]

"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered."
-George Best