Bunch of crap thread

No holds barred discussion. Someone train you and steal your rare spawn? Let everyone know all about it! (Not for the faint of heart!)

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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Fairweather Pure »

Thanks, but I found a live torrent last night for the DVD. Fifty years of Mad Magazine headed my way!

The majority of Torrent sites are pretty much complete shit these days :( Redirects and paid memberships are all over the place. It's very dissappointing.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Funkmasterr »

demonoid.com

I've said it before, but it kicks ass. If you need a invitation code pm me.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Aslanna »

I grew up on Mad Magazine and Cracked. Haven't seen them in a long time though. The Fold-In thingie was the best part! Along with the mini-comics in the margins.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Boogahz »

When handguns attack...on their own!
Office worker accidentally shoots himself in both legs
FORT WORTH, Texas — A 47-year-old man was shot in both legs when he accidentally discharged a handgun while sitting in his cubicle at an insurance office, police said.

The man, who hasn't been publicly identified, had put his .45-caliber gun into his jacket pocket and then draped the jacket over the back of his chair, said Brett McGuire, Lake Worth police chief.

The gun discharged Tuesday morning as the man settled into his chair. He said the man must have done something to make the weapon fire.

The bullet passed through both of the man's legs and a bookcase before lodging in the wall of a cubicle.

McGuire said there was no indication the man had brought the gun to target anyone.

"He wasn't having problems with his bosses or co-workers that we know of," McGuire said.

McGuire said his department has no record of the man being licensed to carry a concealed weapon. He said detectives would wait until the man, who was taken to a hospital, had recovered before deciding whether to pursue charges.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Knarlz »

Woman takes out ad to sell breast milk
100 oz. for sale because baby refuses bottles, mom doesn’t like to waste


CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa - A woman who doesn't want her breast milk to go to waste has taken out a newspaper ad in hopes of selling it. Martha Heller, 22, of Tiffin, took out the ad in The Gazette, offering 100 ounces of her breast milk for $200 or the best offer.Heller said her freezer is overflowing with breast milk that she has pumped since August. Her 4-month-old daughter won't drink from a bottle and the supply is piling up.

Heller now donates to the University of Iowa's Mother's Milk Bank, but the 100 ounces of milk she wants to sell was pumped before going through the screening process for the bank and cannot be donated.

Linda Klein, a lactation consultant at Mercy Medical Center in Cedar Rapids, said breast milk can generally be stored in a freezer for up to six months.

Heller said she researched laws regarding the sale of breast milk and couldn't find any in Iowa.

Don McCormick, a spokesman for the Iowa Department of Public Health, said he was not aware of any laws in Iowa restricting the sale of breast milk, but that state health officials advised against it.

Heller said she hasn't received any legitimate calls about her ad.

"There was one prank caller," she said.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Fash »

I wouldn't drink it from the bottle either... only the source :D
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Fash »

Image
Image
Image
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Lynks »

OMG. I love that MythBuster one!!
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Boogahz »

http://www.thehawaiichannel.com/news/14 ... etail.html
Oahu Ocean Fishermen's Catch Of The Day: Pork

KAAAWA, Hawaii -- It is a fish tale that is easy to scoff as a more of a tall tale. Three friends landed some fish off Kahana Bay on Thursday and a 40-pound feral pig that was swimming near their boat.

As the small fishing boat headed for shore at Kahana Bay, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. However, on closer inspection, the catch of the day was not seafood. It was pork.

"We just hooked up with a fish. As soon as we got it off, I looked over and Aaron was, I thought he was yelling 'fish, fish!' When I looked to my right, it was 'pig, pig!' There was a pig just swimming straight out to sea," fisherman Tyson Pualoa said.

"It looked like it was tired, like it was swimming all night or something. It was pretty much fatigued, ready to go down. We just threw a lasso over his head and yanked him on the boat," fisherman Lenny Mercurio said.

The fishermen said the 40-pound feral pig seemed relieved to be rescued, but the crew tied her up for the ride home to keep her from nipping at them.

No one knows for sure how long the pig was swimming or how she got nearly a mile off shore.

"With all the rains we've been having out here, the pig probably got washed out or something. It was swimming straight out to sea. That was the funny thing about it," fisherman Aaron Phillips said.

Once back on dry land, the fishermen practiced the "catch and release" method. They untied the pig and it took off running back into the forest.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Knarlz »

Hilton Tries to Help Drunk Elephants
Nov. 13, 2007, 10:15 AM EST
The Associated Press

GAUHATI, India -- Paris Hilton is being praised by conservationists for highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India.

Activists said a celebrity endorsement such as Hilton's was sure to raise awareness of the plight of the pachyderms that get drunk on farmers' homemade rice beer and then go on a rampage.

"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," the 26-year-old socialite said in a report posted on World Entertainment News Network's Web site. Her comments were picked up by other Web sites and newspapers around the globe.

Last month, six wild elephants that broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya were electrocuted after drinking the potent brew and then uprooting an electricity pole.

"There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad," Hilton was quoted as saying in Tokyo last week. She was in Tokyo to judge a beauty contest.

Her publicist couldn't immediately be reached for comment Tuesday.

Hilton promised to improve her bad-girl image after she completed a jail term in June for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

She announced plans to do charity work in Rwanda, but the trip was postponed until next year.

Sangeeta Goswami, head of animal rights group People for Animals, told The Associated Press: "I am indeed happy Hilton has taken note of recent incidents of wild elephants in northeast India going berserk after drinking homemade rice beer and getting killed."

"As part of her global elephant campaign, Hilton should, in fact, think of visiting this region literally infested with elephants," Goswami said.

Another conservationist said elephant alcohol abuse was just a symptom of the real problem.

"Elephants appear on human settlements ... because they have no habitat left due to wanton destruction of forests," said Soumyadeep Dutta, who heads Nature's Beckon, a leading regional conservation group.

"A celebrity like Hilton must focus her attention on this fact," Dutta said.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Best Kinkos commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hKWM5Z1zds

"Jerome. you'll talk a big game then do nothing."

Jerome: "Lets do it!"
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Abelard »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_8yPap- ... 2&user=279

"Mom, my toys are retarded!"

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Last edited by Abelard on November 21, 2007, 4:17 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

For Moonwynd:

facial hair pics!

http://m3.bestpicsaround.com/piles/?s=hugebeards
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

lol @ Simroid the Dentist Training Robot:

http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/bad-taste/si ... 327568.php

rofl, the Gizmodo comments are funny.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Do you approve of this commercial?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CW4JVAOoKus
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

These shouldn't be too offensive since America is the land of the fat people:
99 Classic 'Yo Momma' Jokes: Insult Humor from the 'Hood
HUMOR

Yo momma so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

That’s a prime example of a 'Yo Momma' joke, a genre so popular it became the basis for a series of no-holds-barred competitions on MTV. Produced and hosted by actor Wilmer Valderrama, matches were held on successive seasons in Los Angeles, New York and Atlanta.

From Monday to Thursday, the show pitted the toughest trash talkers against one another. Each team of contestants battled it out in front of a rowdy live audience of their peers. The four winners then came back on Friday for a Best of the Week. Here are 98 more prime examples of Yo Momma humor:

Yo momma so fat,

1. she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
2. when she tripped over on Fourth Avenue, she landed on Twelfth.
3. she's got her own area code.
4. when she talks to herself, it's a long distance call.
5. she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
6. whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.
7. she was born on the fourth, fifth, and sixth of March.
8. she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her for the New World.
9. she wears aluminum siding.
10. she could fall down and wouldn't even know it.

***

11. she got hit by a VW and had to go to the hospital to have it removed.
12. the sign inside one restaurant says, "Maximum occupancy, 512, or Yo momma."
13. she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
14. the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
15. her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
16. she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
17. when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
18. when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
19. she was zoned for commercial development.
20. when she sings, it's over for everybody.

***

21. she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.
22. when she was walking down the street and I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
23. when she dances, she makes the band skip.
24. when she got her shoes shined, she had to take the guy's word for it.
25. she gets group insurance.
26. she's on both sides of the family.
27. she can't reach her back pocket.
28. she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
29. when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up again.
30. when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

***

31. when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live.
32. we're in her right now.
33. when she sits around the house, she really sits around the house.
34. her bellybutton’s got an echo.
35. when she turns around people throw her a welcome back party.
36. her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
37. the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale.
38. a picture of her would fall off the wall.
39. when she gets on the scale, it says "To be continued."
40. she sat on a dollar, and when she got up there were four quarters.

***

41. she fell in love and broke it.
42. when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
43. you have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
44. when she goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
45. when she wears a yellow raincoat people holler, "Taxi."
46. when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.
47. she could sell shade.
48. people jog around her for exercise.
49. she gets runs in her jeans.
50. when she wears a Malcolm X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back.

***

51. she eats Wheat Thicks.
52. she can't even jump to a conclusion.
53. when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
54. her graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
55. her job title is spoon and fork operator.
56. she left the house in high heels, and when she came back she had on flip-flops.
57. you have to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
58. she has to wake up in sections.
59. she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose.
60. she walked into the Gap and filled it.

***

61. she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
62. she comes at you from all directions.
63. when she was growing up she didn't play with dolls, she played with midgets.
64. she uses two buses for roller-blades.
65. when she goes to a buffet, she gets the group rate.
66. she doesn't eat with a fork, she eats with a forklift.
67. Weight Watchers won't look at her.
68. the last time the landlord saw her, he doubled the rent.
69. she put on some BVDs and by the time she got them on, they spelled "boulevard."
70. I ran around her twice and got lost.

***

71. the shadow of her butt weighs 100 pounds.
72. the National Weather Service names each one of her farts.
73. when she's standing on the corner police drive by and yell, "Hey, break it up."
74. she's been declared a natural habitat for condors.
75. she sets off car alarms when she runs.
76. when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.
77. her blood type is Ragu.
78. they had to let out the shower curtain.
79. when she runs the fifty-yard dash she needs an overnight bag.
80. she can't even fit in the chat room.

***
81. she gets her toenails painted at Lucky’s Auto Body.
82. she doesn't have a tailor, she has a contractor.
83. she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big.
84. she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade...wearing ropes.
85. she went on a light diet. As soon as it's light she starts eating.
86. she's half Italian, half Irish, and half American.
87. when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.
88. when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
89. when she goes in a restaurant she looks at the menu and says, "Okay.”
90. she puts her lipstick on with a paint roller.

***

91. she has to pull down her pants to get in her pocket.
92. her waist size is the Equator.
93. she’s got her own zip code.
94. she has to buy two plane tickets.
95. she stands in two time zones.
96. she fell and created the Grand Canyon.
97. she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
98. she fell out of both sides of her bed.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Amazing. This guy does 500 impressions of famous people in 2 minutes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpsfDTbzKwM

This guy is actually better but only manages 200 impressions in 16+ minutes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOjmH1N7lZU
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Funkmasterr »

This is as good of a place as any to vent and express how much I despise people that request read receipts on every email they fucking send out. I hate it. Hate.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Boogahz »

I am pretty sure you can set most programs up to either ignore those requests, or process them automatically. I request them because there are some things I handle which are time sensitive. I don't manually tag each email to require it.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Funkmasterr »

Boogahz wrote:I am pretty sure you can set most programs up to either ignore those requests, or process them automatically. I request them because there are some things I handle which are time sensitive. I don't manually tag each email to require it.
Yeah I was going to change that in Outlook, but then there are some emails from VP's the CEO, etc that I HAVE to send the read request for so I am just kinda screwed. And I don't want to make anymore rules in outlook because my rules end up screwing everything up every couple of months as it is.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

See if you can pick out the faces that were computer generated on this page:

http://www.your3dsource.com/real-or-com ... -face.html

The correct answers are at the bottom of same page.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Aslanna »

My boss used to have Read Receipt requested by default for everything. I would use the preview to read them then delete them and they would be notified I deleted it without reading. Fun times! Even more fun is saving them up for 3-4 months and deleting them all at once so they get about 250 receipts back. Or more depending on how email crazy someone happens to be.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Funkmasterr »

Aslanna wrote:My boss used to have Read Receipt requested by default for everything. I would use the preview to read them then delete them and they would be notified I deleted it without reading. Fun times! Even more fun is saving them up for 3-4 months and deleting them all at once so they get about 250 receipts back. Or more depending on how email crazy someone happens to be.
:lol: :lol: I just might know someone who I will have to use your tactic one!
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Zaelath »

Aslanna wrote:My boss used to have Read Receipt requested by default for everything. I would use the preview to read them then delete them and they would be notified I deleted it without reading. Fun times! Even more fun is saving them up for 3-4 months and deleting them all at once so they get about 250 receipts back. Or more depending on how email crazy someone happens to be.
It that a Lotus Notes thing?
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Star Wars actors then and now.

Mark Hamill looks worse due to the car crash.

Yoda looks totally different:

http://www.funatiq.com/interesting-and- ... -30-years/

1977 is starting to seem like a long time ago.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Zaelath »

Winnow wrote:See if you can pick out the faces that were computer generated on this page:

http://www.your3dsource.com/real-or-com ... -face.html

The correct answers are at the bottom of same page.
[Show]
I think there's a vast difference between "computer generated" and "digitally manipulated" ...
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Aslanna »

Zaelath wrote:
Aslanna wrote:My boss used to have Read Receipt requested by default for everything. I would use the preview to read them then delete them and they would be notified I deleted it without reading. Fun times! Even more fun is saving them up for 3-4 months and deleting them all at once so they get about 250 receipts back. Or more depending on how email crazy someone happens to be.
It that a Lotus Notes thing?
Which part? We used Outlook there. Wish I was using it now. Hate Notes omg!
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Zaelath »

Aslanna wrote:
Zaelath wrote:
Aslanna wrote:My boss used to have Read Receipt requested by default for everything. I would use the preview to read them then delete them and they would be notified I deleted it without reading. Fun times! Even more fun is saving them up for 3-4 months and deleting them all at once so they get about 250 receipts back. Or more depending on how email crazy someone happens to be.
It that a Lotus Notes thing?
Which part? We used Outlook there. Wish I was using it now. Hate Notes omg!
The "notified I deleted it without reading" part. I get a yes/no pop-up about read receipts (in preview mode), and click no. I would assume clicking yes sends back "they clicked yes" message. I wasn't aware that any combination of my actions would result in "they clicked yes, but deleted it before they read it" message.

If I have someone sending a lot of that shit I use the "just say no to all" setting. if anyone wants justification for that, I simply explain that I either get to scan email for important/actionable mail, then go back and action it (at which point it's too late for the read receipt anyway, and they get a real reply), or I can spend 5 hours a day reading shit in my email to make sure I don't scan past something with a read receipt request without actually reading it in detail.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Someone here at work sneezed and then said, "bless me". Are you allowed to bless yourself? Is that a legal action in the religious world?

Just curious!
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Knarlz »

Gamers will 'w00t' over word of the year
Exclamation of happiness won Merriam-Webster's online poll.
SPRINGFIELD, Mass. - Expect cheers among hardcore online game enthusiasts when they learn Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year. Or, more accurately, expect them to "w00t."

"W00t," a hybrid of letters and numbers used by gamers as an exclamation of happiness, topped all other terms in the Springfield dictionary publisher's online poll for the word that best sums up 2007.

Merriam-Webster's president, John Morse, said "w00t" was an ideal choice because it blends whimsy and new technology.

"It shows a really interesting thing that's going on in language. It's a term that's arrived only because we're now communicating electronically with each other," Morse said.

Gamers commonly substitute numbers and symbols for the letters they resemble, Morse says, creating what they call "l33t speak" — that's "leet" when spoken, short for "elite" to the rest of the world.

For technophobes, the word also is familiar from the 1990 movie "Pretty Woman," in which Julia Roberts startles her date's upper-crust friends with a hearty "Woot, woot, woot!" at a polo match.

The 2006 pick, "truthiness," also has its roots in pop culture. It was popularized by Comedy Central satirical political commentator Stephen Colbert.
Some also-rans in the 2007 list: the use of "facebook" as a verb to signify using the Web site by that name; nuanced terms such as "quixotic" and "hypocrite"; and "blamestorm," a meeting in which mistakes are aired, fingers are pointed and much discomfort is had by all.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22205339/?GT1=10645
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

I would have thought that ZOMG would be the word of the year.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Zamtuk »

more like word of 2002!

yeah, that saddens me to say that.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Aslanna »

When did it morph into using zeros? That's just lame. 'Woot!' is the true spelling. Therefore I must protest.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Noysyrump »

Blasted! Dagnabbit. Shux.

BMP file upload not permited. hey who can host some pics for me?
Sick Balls!
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Boogahz »

convert them to something that takes less space first
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Dregor Thule »

Winnow wrote:See if you can pick out the faces that were computer generated on this page:

http://www.your3dsource.com/real-or-com ... -face.html

The correct answers are at the bottom of same page.
Now the answer box claims they were digitally manipulated, which leaves it wide open on just how much of it was actually done in 3d. Regardless, larger pictures would be needed!
Image
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

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Pride of nationality depends not on ignorance of other nations, but on ignorance of one's own.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Beauty,

I saw this web page of Amber MacArthur (CommandN Video Podcast host) volunteering to be the subject of a 5 minute Photoshop makeover:

http://www.danbrooke.com/homepage/

and then saw this video on same topic:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U&feature=related


Some other photoshop work:

http://www.danbrooke.com/portraits.htm#

mouseover to see changes.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Jack Nicholson on smoking:
It is not so much that you fear that moment when somebody comes in and says, ‘That’s it. You’re dead. You smoked too much,’” Jack tells the Los Angeles Times. “Well, that’s not the real fear. The real fear is going through now the process and thinking, ‘I’m dying of stupidity.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Hello Kitty Contacts:

http://gizmodo.com/339146/hello-kitty-c ... o-the-core
There's something not quite right about this girls' eyes. No, it's not the emo makeup or stupid hair coloring, although those are pretty bad. It's… oh my god, it is. She has Hello Kitty contact lenses.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Kwon might be onto something.

Women with big asses might be smarter: (cnn video)

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/health ... .women.cnn
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Bus driver says, "No dogs allowed"

http://digg.com/arts_culture/Goth_who_w ... gs_Allowed

I'm guessing the bus driver has never logged into Second Life!

Direct Link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/a ... ge_id=1770

That's pretty "normal" for the UK from what I remember of the punk/goth scene.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Tyek »

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798567

taking lip sync to the next level!
When I was younger, I used to think that the world was doing it to me and that the world owes me some thing…When you're a teeny bopper, that's what you think. I'm 40 now, I don't think that anymore, because I found out it doesn't f--king work. One has to go through that. For the people who even bother to go through that, most assholes just accept what it is anyway and get on with it." - John Lennon
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Useful news:

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/stor ... 16,00.html
STILETTOS can be good for a woman's sex life, says a study which claims wearing them ``directly works the pleasure muscles linked to orgasm''.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Knarlz »

Get a free Tarot reading!
http://astrocenter.astrology.msn.com/ms ... &GT1=10857


February 26, 2008

Tarot reading for knarlz:

Love Touchstone Career

Love: The Emperor

Touchstone: The Judgement

Career: The Moon

Today, be ready to listen to someone who opens their heart to you, knarlz! Judgment, together with the Emperor, promises a few surprises as far as love is concerned. You may have thought that Prince Charming hardly knew you existed, but he suddenly looks your way; or Sleeping Beauty suddenly wakes from her slumber and her eyes light on you… Your daily routine is set to be stirred up by unexpected events – don’t close the door on them! Your career holds a pleasant surprise in store. An unexpected event will upset the status quo, but in the right direction. Anything that happens as a result will have a positive effect on your affairs and on the progress of your career. The association of the Moon and Judgement favors creativity and new ideas. Allow yourself to be guided by your intuition.
Pride of nationality depends not on ignorance of other nations, but on ignorance of one's own.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Hot for Teacher: 18 Sexiest Sex Offenders

http://www.coedmagazine.com/news/6069
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

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Pride of nationality depends not on ignorance of other nations, but on ignorance of one's own.
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

Earlier I posted a video of a guy doing a bunch of voice impersonations.

Here's one of a lady doing 21 accents.

http://www.break.com/index/chick-has-21 ... cents.html

Pretty good!
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Re: Bunch of crap thread

Post by Winnow »

This is kinda cool. Might be slightly out of date:

The Eisenhower Interstate System Simplified

http://www.chrisyates.net/reprographics ... system.jpg
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