Bunch of crap thread

[Aardor]

[Fash]

And the newsroom goes silent...

[Winnow]

To save people some time, here's all the animated gifs, pictures, etc you see around on forums all collected into one gallery:

lots of *NWS*

http://jj.am/gallery/main.php

[Winnow]

15 year gap!

http://www.newscientist.com/channel/sex ... news_rss20

Why men should pair off with younger women

19 March 2008
NewScientist.com news service

Mick Jagger, Rupert Murdoch and Michael Douglas all have the right idea, evolutionarily speaking. Statistics show that monogamous men have the most children if they marry women younger than themselves. How much younger is the key question.

Last year, a study of Swedish census information suggested a 4 to 6-year age gap is best, but new research has found that in some circumstances a surprisingly large gap – 15 years – is the optimum.

Martin Fieder at the University of Vienna and Susanne Huber of the University of Veterinary Medicine, also in Vienna, Austria, studied the Swedish data and found that a simple equation related the age difference of the parents to the number of offspring. For people who had maintained monogamous relationships throughout adulthood, the most children were found in couples where the man was 4.0 to 5.9 years older than the woman.

The probable reasons behind this state of affairs are not controversial: "Men want women younger than themselves because they are physically attractive," says Fieder, while women tend to prioritise a partner who can provide security and stability, and so tend to opt for older men.

Although I don't want kids, I approve of these findings. According to this, and 18-33 pairing is optimal.

I wonder if this was written by a 30-something year old man.

[Winnow]

Subject:
From:
Date:
To: Your Order
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March 25, 2008
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[Drolgin Steingrinder]

15 year gap!

http://www.newscientist.com/channel/sex ... news_rss20

Why men should pair off with younger women

19 March 2008
NewScientist.com news service

Mick Jagger, Rupert Murdoch and Michael Douglas all have the right idea, evolutionarily speaking. Statistics show that monogamous men have the most children if they marry women younger than themselves. How much younger is the key question.

Last year, a study of Swedish census information suggested a 4 to 6-year age gap is best, but new research has found that in some circumstances a surprisingly large gap – 15 years – is the optimum.

Martin Fieder at the University of Vienna and Susanne Huber of the University of Veterinary Medicine, also in Vienna, Austria, studied the Swedish data and found that a simple equation related the age difference of the parents to the number of offspring. For people who had maintained monogamous relationships throughout adulthood, the most children were found in couples where the man was 4.0 to 5.9 years older than the woman.

The probable reasons behind this state of affairs are not controversial: "Men want women younger than themselves because they are physically attractive," says Fieder, while women tend to prioritise a partner who can provide security and stability, and so tend to opt for older men.

Although I don't want kids, I approve of these findings. According to this, and 18-33 pairing is optimal.

I wonder if this was written by a 30-something year old man.

The older I get, the more I approve of the 7-year rule. Divide the mans age by two and then add seven - that's the youngest acceptable age for a partner.

So at age 30, you can go for a 22 year old. At 40, you can cradlerob your way to 27, at age 60 it's a quite respectable 37.

Also this rule works well at lower ages - a 20 year old can't go lower than 17. Magic!

[Winnow]

Man, someone took the time to make a collage of this hot French reporter's images from her newscasts. Despite all the time I waste editing images for no purpose, I don't have time to do that. I do have time to post it here though!



A YouTube video of her in action. Don't understand French but when she says "George Bush" it's kinda sexy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1G-3laJJP0

I'd be distracted if I was the co-anchor with that red shirts she's wearing about 1:11 into the video.

edit: fixed YouTube video so it doesn't fill entire window.

[Dregor Thule]

The older I get, the more I approve of the 7-year rule. Divide the mans age by two and then add seven - that's the youngest acceptable age for a partner.

So at age 30, you can go for a 22 year old. At 40, you can cradlerob your way to 27, at age 60 it's a quite respectable 37.

Also this rule works well at lower ages - a 20 year old can't go lower than 17. Magic!

I like what I'm hearing and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Winnow]

made me laugh!

When A Nerd Holds a Woman:



funny stuff.

http://digg.com/comedy/When_a_Nerd_Holds_a_Woman_Pic

[Dregor Thule]

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r186 ... 0005ha.jpg

This kind of looks like the more accurate one. The line from the shoulder to the arm is more appropriate, and the other version the hand on the shoulder has an odd shadow under it. Also explains the look on her face!

I'm probably wrong.

[Winnow]

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r186 ... 0005ha.jpg

This kind of looks like the more accurate one. The line from the shoulder to the arm is more appropriate, and the other version the hand on the shoulder has an odd shadow under it. Also explains the look on her face!

I'm probably wrong.

That's the photoshopped version. (the full reach-around)

[Winnow]

Things you shouldn't find in a garden:

[Noysyrump]

Be careful of your choice of backdrop when speaking publicly.

[Dregor Thule]

Be careful of your choice of backdrop when speaking publicly.

Hahahahaha

[Winnow]

Is this real?

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=453_1191345802&p=1

South korea: boys cheering for their soccer teams. the most amazing thing is that they do this with their CLOTHES (not holding up cards). they have a jacket that is one color on the back, one on the front, and that they can open or close to show a third color shirt on the inside. One school has also figured out how to use their pants to make shading.

One of the most amazing things in mass coordination I've seen if it's real which it looks like it is.

The part where they actually move into the shape of a tiger is nifty.

There's one "bad pixel" kid that might be in special ed in the upper left section that sometimes screws up but besides that, almost perfect!

[Boogahz]

from the related videos there:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=efb_1185118561

It's kind of scary, but it has more close-ups which allow you to see how they do it.

Amazing choreography
Hundreds of South Koreans in an impressive display of coordination. I'm afraid I don't have any additional information, but I'd appreciate it if someone could provide it if they have it.

[Winnow]

Domain Pizza.com sold for $2.6 million

A US man has sold the domain name pizza.com for $2.6m - after maintaining the site for just $20 a year since 1994. Chris Clark, 43, accepted the offer from an anonymous bidder after a week-long online auction. It’s crazy, it’s just crazy,” Mr Clark, who lives in North Potomac, Maryland, was quoted as saying by the Baltimore Sun newspaper. “It will make a significant difference in my life, for sure,” he added. Mr Clark registered the domain name in 1994, when the world wide web was just starting. He had hoped that pizza.com would help to get a contract with a pizza firm for his consulting company.

He sold his business in 2000, but kept paying the $20 annual fees for maintaining the domain, which he also used to sell advertisements. In January, Mr Clark decided to sell it after hearing that another domain - Vodka.com - was sold for $3m in 2006. “I thought, ‘Why don’t I just try to see what the level of interest is?’” Mr Clark said. “If someone’s willing to pay that much for Vodka.com, maybe there’s more interest in pizza.com.” The online auction was launched on 27 March. The first bid was $100, jumping to $2.6m a week later. Having accepted the latter offer, Mr Clark hopes to get his windfall in a few days’ time when the transaction is completed.

Nice. My domain names aren't going to make me any money unless one of the characters I have as a domain name ends up in a movie or something.

[Winnow]

Engrish is a beautiful thing. It is the incorrect translation or use of the English language in Asia. You normally see it in some small shop’s sign or on some random product, but you don’t expect to see it in a hospital.

I don’t know about you, but it definitely would make me worry about their attention to detail.

[Winnow]

At one of the McDonalds I go to, every 100th car that goes through the drive through gets a free meal. On Monday I was that 100th car.

That very same day, I went to the grocery store to pick up some cereal and my favorite brand had a two for one sale.

Good food fortune smiled upon me that day!

[Winnow]

Seven Reasons Why I’m Becoming a Polygamist’s Wife

By: Shyla Batliwalla (Little_personView Profile)

I want to become the wife of a polygamist. After the high-profile raid in Texas cast a disapproving light on the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS), everybody’s got a bone to pick with the polygamists. I, on the other hand, am jealous of their rustic and charming lifestyle. I yearn to live au naturale clad in a strapping turquoise dress with a hand-braided up-do. It’s official—I’m going to join the commune and live a life that’s back to the basics.

1. No Need for a Profession

College, grad school, GREs? Not for me. In the FLDS, I can stop working the nine to five and stop worrying about what the heck I’m doing with my life. As a polygamist lady, my destiny will be pre-determined by our lord and savior, Warren Jeffs. I’ll be hitched by the age of thirteen and start popping out babies ASAP. I’ll be so busy waiting in line for my turn to hump my husband and my nipples will be so sore from breast-feeding my litter of children, I’ll have no time for a career. Plus, I’ll be busy honing my quilting and gardening skills. (I tried to crochet a hat once and it looked like a mushroom.)

2. Prairie Fashion Rocks

It’s exhausting trying to look like Nicole Richie everyday. I’m sick of wasting my paychecks at Chico’s and Claire’s. When I move onto the compound, I won’t have to worry about keeping up with the Parises. I’ll sport my puffy-sleeved, full-length, pastel gowns with my poo-brown lace-up shoes every day. I’m going to redefine sexy in my Little House on the Prairie wardrobe. The president of the FLDS says that the color red belongs to Jesus; women are not allowed to wear red. Hallelujah—red makes me look fat.

3. Nightly Orgies

I’m always down for some sexy-time. In the FLDS, I can get it on with multiple people at the same time. I’ve always wanted to participate in an orgy—screw just a three-way, I’ll be having a ninety-nine way. There will be so many unique orifices for me to stimulate and be stimulated in. True, I’ll have to wait my turn, but after a certain age, it will be a good thing. Married people are always bitching about having to beat cheeks with their husbands anyways. After a certain point, I just won’t have to anymore; my husband will trade me in for a younger version. Then, I’ll be able to fulfill my lesbian fantasies with my co-wives.

4. The Ridiculously Hot Body

Have you seen one fat polygamist chick? No, you haven’t—those broads are skinny as hell. They wake up at 3:30 in the morning to husk corn and cull chicken eggs. When I join the polygamist commune, I’ll say sayonara to Weight Watchers and yoga and hola to wheat germ and harvesting. Between running circles around my twenty-seven children and my nightly orgies, there’s no way I’ll be fat anymore. I’ll be a lean-mean grain-grinding machine.

5. I Can Sport Rockin’ Sausage Curls

Their French twists, voluminous bangs, and intricate braids would make Paul Mitchell proud. These ladies do not mess around when it comes to their hairdos; this is some high-couture hair. When I join the compound, I won’t ever have to cut my hair again—it’s not even allowed. I’ll rise with the sun and have my three-year-old weave my locks into complex up-dos. I can only begin to imagine how useful my Rapunzel-esque hair will be during my nightly group sexcapades …

6. Entertainment Provided by Grassy Pastures

Who needs TV, radio, and Internet? I’m sick of reading the news, watching Grey’s Anatomy, and listening to Mariah’s new record. I really just want to be alone and live a life of seclusion. Laughing is so overrated; it’s such a frigging relief that it’s forbidden on the FLDS compound. Every day I come across dumb people on TV, on the radio, and on the streets, making lame jokes and I’m forced to laugh. Sometimes, it takes more energy to conjure up a chuckle then to microwave my Lean Cuisine. All I really want to do is play alone in the fields.

7. No Need to Find a Date—Jesus Does It for You

It’s so goddamned stressful to get a date. Two-thirds of my brain-power is wasted figuring out how I’m going to get laid. God forbid (or should I say, allow?) considering the idea of marriage. Once I’m a polygamist, I’ll never worry about dating again. My husband will be pre-chosen by Jesus Christ. I won’t have wasted awkward teenage years competing with the Lindsay Lohans of the world. I’ll be hooked, booked, and cooked before I even turn thirteen (if I’m lucky).

I’ll admit that the whole child abuse and forced marriage thing is off-putting, but from the hot hair to the group-sex, it’s an offer I can’t refuse. Hey, Warren Jeffs, where the heck do I get an application?

[Knarlz]

Here are 10 real-life mistakes that illustrate what not to do when you sit down for your next interview:

1. Candidate answered cell phone and asked the interviewer to leave her own office because it was a "private" conversation.

2. Applicant told the interviewer he wouldn't be able to stay with the job long because he thought he might get an inheritance if his uncle died – and his uncle wasn't "looking too good."

3. The job seeker asked the interviewer for a ride home after the interview.

4. The applicant smelled his armpits on the way to the interview room.

5. Candidate said she could not provide a writing sample because all of her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified."

6. Candidate told the interviewer he was fired for beating up his last boss.

7. When the applicant was offered food before the interview, he declined saying he didn't want to line his stomach with grease before going out drinking.

8. An applicant said she was a "people person" not a "numbers person" – in her interview for an accounting position.

9. During a phone interview the candidate flushed the toilet while talking to hiring manager.

10. The applicant took out a hairbrush and brushed her hair.

[Winnow]

I haven't bought toilet paper since January. Costco rocks!

I think I can make it well into June unless there's an "incident" between now and then.

[Fash]

Josh Brolin as Oliver Stone's Bush

[Noysyrump]

One happy kitten.

[Fash]

[Noysyrump]

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I'm just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead."

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"

"Si, Senor. That's the one."

"Damn. That's a pity. I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about man?"

"The one at your house Senor, A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?"

"Yes, Senor Rod."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?"

"Your wife's, Senor Rod. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tayler Made Super Quad 460 golf club."

Silence. LONG silence.

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep s---!!"

And this one is for Nick.

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

[Fash]

I don't know who looks funnier in this photo, Hillary or George

[Truant]

I don't know who this george is that you are referring to, but she looks pretty lit there.

I'm sure it's just a result of odd timing.

[Spang]

[Boogahz]

[Spang]

http://ihasabucket.com/

[Winnow]

Intense water slide action:

http://gizmodo.com/5013190/insane-water ... ugh-a-loop

best digg comment:

Dugg up for German girl in bikini
Dugg down for European man love of banana hammocks (a.k.a. Speedos)

http://digg.com/travel_places/Crazy_Wat ... _Trap_Door


-----------------------------

Interesting article and comments about a Star Trek type Holodeck in development:

http://digg.com/general_sciences/Holode ... ir_Debut_3

[Boogahz]

That's pretty damn cool!

[Knarlz]

Yahoo resignation letter generator.

You could most likely modify this for where you work!

http://honan.net/yahoo/

[Winnow]

Some nice pictures here:

The most dangerous roads in the world:

http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2006/11 ... world.html

[Winnow]

Top Ten Battle Cries

* 1. "This is where we fight! This is where they die!"
—King Leonidas

In 300, the king of Sparta uses this catchy jingle to rally his troops against the Persians. It scores big points for clarity, but it really gets a boost when 300 Spartans shout "HA-OOH!" in response.

* 2. "Come on, you sons of bitches, do you want to live forever?"
—Sergeant Major Daniel Daly

Besieged and outnumbered at the 1918 Battle of Belleau Wood, Daly egged on his men with a rhetorical question — and it actually worked. So well that Johnny Rico reused the line in Starship Troopers.

* 3. "By the power of Greyskull ... I have the powerrr!!!"
—He-Man

Prince Adam needs a thesaurus. His catchphrase is repetitive and vague (the power to do what, exactly?), but it's all about delivery: Props to him for managing to say it with conviction in a Speedo.

* 4. "Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over till we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
—Bluto

The Animal House call to arms transcends its historical imprecision by appealing to the brotherhood of all men and, by implication, the universal desire to get tanked wearing a bedsheet. Toga! Toga!

* 5. "From my cold, dead hands!"
—Charlton Heston

The NRA spokesperson and president didn't invent this slogan, but when he uttered the phrase in a primal, throaty growl while brandishing a musket over his head at the group's 2000 convention, it made the leap from bumper sticker to battle cry.

* 6. "Tulta munille!" (Fire at their balls!)"
—Finnish troops

In Väinö Linna's World War II novel The Unknown Soldier, the Finnish hollered this easy-to-remember directive, masterfully exploiting castration anxiety.

* 7. "Carthago delenda est!" (Carthage must be destroyed!)
—Cato the Elder

Back around 157 BC, the Roman statesman worked this imperative into all of his speeches on the senate floor. He also dropped it cold at toga parties and around town until the Third Punic War finally kicked off. Sound familiar?

* 8. "Leeeroy Jennnkins!"
—Leeroy Jenkins

This machinima avatar is immortalized among the World of Warcraft crowd for plunging into battle shouting his own nom de guerre while his comrades dawdled on the sidelines overthinking their strategy.

* 9. "I am the Love Angel, I am Wedding Peach, and I am very angry with you!"
—Wedding Peach

In her eponymous manga and anime, the poor girl has to juggle a demanding junior high schedule while fighting an endless variety of devils. She didn't ask to be the Love Angel. It makes you wonder why her cry is so mildly worded and tempered with ambivalence.

* 10. "Today is a good day to die!"
—Klingons

This badass race cherry-picked its maxim from the Sioux for its counterintuitive melding of both negative and positive thinking — a brand of logic sure to befuddle Spock.

Some alternatives from Digg:

WOLVERINES!!!

"Thundercats...HOOOOOOOOOO!"

Wonder twin powers, activate!

YIPPY CAYE Motherfucker

[Winnow]

Japanese Drinks in two parts:

http://inventorspot.com/articles/ten_bi ... rinks_5225

http://inventorspot.com/articles/ten_ev ... inks_16328

[Winnow]

Sega Pretty Boy:

http://kotaku.com/5033611/pretty-girl-n ... pretty-boy

First comment is the best:

That's not a coat, it's my grandmother's blanket >.>

[Winnow]

Cool idea for a wallpaper.

[Aardor]

That is a cool idea. Someone should tell the owner of the that desktops that keeping passwords in a text file is not a cool idea!

[Winnow]

Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.

[Noysyrump]

Stay off the internet!

[Knarlz]

Man chews through belly-busting 20-lb. Burger

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27228081/?GT1=43001

[lmnt9]

That is a cool idea. Someone should tell the owner of the that desktops that keeping passwords in a text file is not a cool idea!

It funny though - he/she can't be all that dumb with sigmaplot and mathlab. Not the easiest programs to navigate, let alone use.

[Sueven]

* 9. "I am the Love Angel, I am Wedding Peach, and I am very angry with you!"
—Wedding Peach

Really? Someone actually thought that belonged on a list of the top ten battle cries? Holy shit. Really?

[Boogahz]

http://www.tmxspecialedition.com/

[Niffoni]

* 9. "I am the Love Angel, I am Wedding Peach, and I am very angry with you!"
—Wedding Peach

Really? Someone actually thought that belonged on a list of the top ten battle cries? Holy shit. Really?

Reminds me how confused I was when I first found out that just about the worst thing you can say to someone in Japan is that you "don't forgive" them. "I won't forgive you" has punctuated many a supposedly climactic moment in the world of subtitles, and fan translations of Japanese superhero comics.

[Zaelath]

http://www.tmxspecialedition.com/

Oh man, no matter how much they cried, I'd never give my kid a toy that required me to carry around a programming manual.

[Boogahz]

http://www.tmxspecialedition.com/

Oh man, no matter how much they cried, I'd never give my kid a toy that required me to carry around a programming manual.

I can't remember where I was that had a link to that site, but I remember that those are the "secret" behaviors.

[Knarlz]

Helicopters collect whale snot from blowholes

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27647978/