Racist Joke thread

[Acies]

Joke about ethnic groupings here!

(DISCLAIMER: This is a JOKE thread, take it lightly)
Some info:

I think we should have a racist joke thread were you can post whatever you want racist joke-wise.
Get it all out of everyone's system.

okay, you start it...

I will start with Whiteys, cause we are EASY to bag on

What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.

How long does it take for a white women to take a crap???
9 months

What's white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!

[noel]

Seriously, go fuck yourself.

[Acies]

Aranuil, there was a time when, seriously you did not have a stick up your ass. All things aside, I think you are a great guy, but you need to lighten up and read the topic of the thread. It is in jest.

[Xouqoa]

I don't see anything but bad things coming of this thread. If it gets out of hand I'll move/lock it.. just an advance warning so I don't get accused of seekrit cliqueyness!

[Acies]

I don't see anything but bad things coming of this thread. If it gets out of hand I'll move/lock it.. just an advance warning so I don't get accused of seekrit cliqueyness!

If it gets bad Xou, I would want you too.
Thanks for the heads up.

[noel]

#1. Wrong forum.

#2. Racism is not funny to me ever.

#3. All of your jokes were fine for my sensitivity level, but what happens when some socially inept troll posts a list of *insert race here* jokes he found on a hate site, and actually offends someone either to the point of being hurtful, or to the point of it hurting but they don't say anything?

This site is a lot of things, and offers a lot of things, but this is not a place I want to come to see racist jokes and/or content short of meaningful discussion. If this thread continues, I will derail the everliving shit out of it. I will not tolerate it at all. I'm not threatening here, just a statement of fact.

It's true what they say, common sense is not common.

[Acies]

Actually, upon careful (aka any) review, your correct bro.
This thread doesn't belong here. Xou, would you retard it, but leave it unlocked. Thanks.

EDIT: Thank you Xou

[Sionistic]

How long does it take for a white women to take a crap???
9 months

wait wasnt that a black joke?

[Xyun]

This site is a lot of things, and offers a lot of things, but this is not a place I want to come to see racist jokes and/or content short of meaningful discussion. If this thread continues, I will derail the everliving shit out of it. I will not tolerate it at all. I'm not threatening here, just a statement of fact.

You are nothing but a fucking stuck up pussy. If you don't want to see the jokes then DON'T FUCKING CLICK ON THE THREAD. Isn't that the same fucking thing you say in every other thread?

"I will not tolerate it"

hahahhaah this is NOT your fucking board asshole, and your level of tolerance, however low it may be, has no bearing on what threads get moved, locked or deleted. You didn't seem to fucking mind when french jokes were being spewed left and right. I know I know, those jokes were not racist so they obviously hurt no ones feelings. You are a fucking roach.

............

How many men does it take to open a beer bottle?

None, the bitch better have it open when she brings it to you.

..........

I hope that offended you, you fucking mole. Then maybe you can spam this thread with pictures of fucking pie.

[Zamtuk]

Kreugen told the best wife beater jokes.

[noel]

Yeah Xyun, I'm a pussy because I say what I think when I think it.

I just want you to know that I enjoy it when you flame me, and I actually enjoy your opinions for the most part. Please, more posts about me!

Edit: Wanted to add that I've gone through plenty of my own threads, and I have a reasonable knowledge of what gets posted here, and I don't recall participating, adding to, or endorsing any threads about the french other than perhaps their political system and/or their culture.

[Krimson Klaw]

In-cre-di-ble. This thread is in the correct forum now.

[Mak]

You know, when I saw this idea mentioned in that other thread, I just naturally assumed it was a rhetorical statement. Imagine my disappointment to see it actually come into existance.

[Zamtuk]

Only on VV folks, only on VV.

[Krimson Klaw]

You know, when I saw this idea mentioned in that other thread, I just naturally assumed it was a rhetorical statement. Imagine my disappointment to see it actually come into existance.

Me too, and he even had the gumption to quote me telling him to start it. What I get for assuming common sense is common.

[Laurri]

My god, some of you people are in serious need of an enema.

Joke thread.....takes first shot at his own ethnicity....what the heck is wrong with that? Ok, so the jokes are lame but still.


Ive known a couple lawyers, and they could spit out lawyer jokes like no tomorrow.

If you wanna get down on someone for being racist, be my guest, but you cant exactly call someone racist when he's making jokes about his own ethnic group.

Speaking of which...

"Why does the new Italian Navy have glass bottomed boats?"
.
.
"To see their old navy of course."

[*~*stragi*~*]

What does the mexican say to the jew?

sup

gagagahahagaegaeha

[miir]

So there's these 4 old jewish women sitting having lunch when the waiter come up and asks : "Excuse me ladies, is anything ok?"

[Metaphantasus]

Seriously, where are the racist jokes. I came in for some racist jokes and there's nothing.....

[BeatSoggybiscuit]

why are the bottom of black people's feet and their palms pink?


'cause god had them up against a wall when he spray painted em.

[Revs]

What does the mexican say to the jew?

sup

gagagahahagaegaeha

Keep this goober away from paint fumes at all times

[Keverian FireCry]

What do you call a mexican getting baptised?
Bean dip!

[MooZilla]

Ok. So there's a mexican and a black guy in the car. Who's driving?

The cops.

What do you call 3 mexicans in a car?

Grand theft.

What do you call a black person with acne?

Nestle crunch.

[Shizzle]

How long does it take for a white women to take a crap???
9 months

I happen to be a piece of crap and i am highly offended.

[Metaphantasus]

Ok what fucking moron reads the Subject "Racist Joke Thread" and thinks, hmmmmm racist jokes offend me, let me go in there and be offended and pissed off and start talking about how they hate the jokes when they could just NOT come in. Like the fuckers who want to kick stern off the air. I don't like him......SO I DON'T LISTEN. Jesus Buddha Gannesh Christ.

Not racist: Why did God put the butthole and the vagina so close together? So you can carry women around like a six pack.

[Metaphantasus]

Racist jokes are wrong, you're all going to hell! How do you blindfold an asian person? Dental floss.

[Lynxe]

Through the pitch-black night off the coast of St. John's Newfoundland, a Nova Scotian captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: "Change your course 10 degrees east."

The light signals back: "Change yours, 10 degrees west."

Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Captain with the Canadian Coast Guard! Change your course, cadet!"

"I'm a Newfoundland seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change YOUR course, sir."

Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship and I am not changing course!"

There is one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."

[Kguku]

There is no Battleship in the Canadian Coast Guard

[Kwonryu DragonFist]

[Kasaz]

Lets see here... Mexican Joke...
Ok 1 mother duck and her baby ducks where walking. Next to them was a mother skunk and her baby skunks. While walking across a road both mothers where hit by a truck and killed. The babies just sat there looking at each other. They where so young they didn't know what they where yet so the ducks asked the skunks, "What are we?" the skunks answered " well your brownish and have beaks you must be a duck! But what are we?" The ducks replied " Well your not white and not black and you smell... you must be a mexican!"
I thought it was a knee slapper....

[Bethena]

REDNECK ETIQUETTE (May be Racist May be not)

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still
considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup,
and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers
covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by
a taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat from the table...no matter how good his
manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should
be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.

2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days.

However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no,
as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste
of finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to
go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back.
Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday."
If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to
school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately
after the movie has ended.

2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen.
Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund
and clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special
occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded
and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires
always has the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can,
it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

[Pherr the Dorf]

12 polocks are raping a german girl. She yells Nein Nein... so 3 leave

[sarlen]

Whats the first thing a woman does after she gets out of "the womens shelter"?

The dishes if the bitch knows whats good for her!!

[Zamtuk]

thats like eqvault old =(

[sarlen]

thats like eqvault old =(

I'm terrible with jokes

[cid]

I'm terrible with jokes

But great with cock!!

[Leonaerd]

What's the most confusing day in Harlem?

[Show]

Father's Day

[Spang]

a friend of mine is half german and half jewish.

he hates himself.

[deathdealerv]

[quote="Leonaerd"]What's the most confusing day in Harlem?



[spoiler]Father's Day [/spoiler][/quote]


ahh thats fucked up but funny!

[Spang]

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?





She was a woman.

[Nick]

Why does Beyonce always sing "to the left to the left"?

Because blacks have no rights.



(sorry)

[Spang]

What's bloody and has two legs?















Half a dog.

[Spang]

Why do black people walk with a limp?




Pick up the cotton, put it in the bag. Pick up the cotton, put it in the bag.

[Funkmasterr]

Holy shit, I feel terrible for laughing at that, but I did.

[Spang]

Watching white people trying to play basketball is a lot like watching black people trying to read.









It's funny.